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#1
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To interfere or not to
So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) T |
#2
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Tiffany wrote: So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) T I don't know where you live, so can't give specific info about what good it would do. Civil and criminal code differ from one municipality to the next, and what follows is based on my experience - what I've seen, heard, and been told of - while working as a jail officer and communications officer in east central Georgia, U.S. So, with that in mind... Most municipalities have noise ordinances, at the least. If the man is yelling loud enough to be overheard by several neighbors, then you have a potential noise ordinance violation. If he is yelling at his significant other or a child, and it appears to be as part of a dispute rather than simply so that she can hear him, then you have a potential domestic dispute. If he is yelling at the mother in an abusive fashion in the presence of a minor child, then it is a potential domestic dispute with minor child witness, which could be an additional degree of severity on the domestic charge and possible secondary charges of child abuse, depending on the situation. A lot of it is going to depend on your specific municipality's civil and criminal code, and whether or not there are any substantive witnesses willing to press charges and/or testify, or physical evidence of abuse that a law officer can use to press charges even without the victim's consent/compliance. Whether or not you SHOULD call it in is a decision only you can make. It depends on your willingness to "get involved", the severity of the situation, etc. And, ultimately, on your own judgement. Be prepared for the possibility that the woman might well deny that there is anything wrong, that anything happened, or that anything MIGHT happen - you'd be amazed how many woman I've seen come in with their fresh bruises showing all over their faces and arms, to bail out the men that beat them up. Then again, it's always possible that there really IS nothing going on, and it's just him trying to communicate with her verbally, and her being nearly deaf or something. It's a judgement call. I wish you the best of luck with it, and hope it works out well for all concerned. Hope I helped. ~ Dor |
#3
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I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery "Tiffany" wrote in message ... So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) T |
#4
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On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote: So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) T Yelling's not a crime, but emotional abuse is. Would it do any good to call the authorities? Who knows? But if it happened here, you'd be legally required to call them. You're describing abusive behaviour. Cele |
#5
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On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 20:37:08 -0400, Istara
wrote: Then again, it's always possible that there really IS nothing going on, and it's just him trying to communicate with her verbally, and her being nearly deaf or something. It's a judgement call. I've been certified as a teacher of the deaf since 1983. I've never seen anyone who signed yell at a Deaf person as an alternative means of communication. Cele |
#6
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"slykitten" wrote in message ... I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I find that odd. Christine |
#7
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"Cele" wrote in message ... On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 20:37:08 -0400, Istara wrote: Then again, it's always possible that there really IS nothing going on, and it's just him trying to communicate with her verbally, and her being nearly deaf or something. It's a judgement call. I've been certified as a teacher of the deaf since 1983. I've never seen anyone who signed yell at a Deaf person as an alternative means of communication. Cele This guy does sign normally to communicate. But what we hear at times, he is yelling. Could she be partially deaf so when they are fighting, he yells rather then signs? The yelling and insulting the kid though, there is no excuse for that. The kid doesn't seem to have hearing issues. I have said hi to him and he said hi back. T |
#8
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On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 03:37:41 GMT, "CME"
wrote: "slykitten" wrote in message ... I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I find that odd. You've got to be kidding me. Why don't we just skip the actual sentences and use a multiple-choice format so everyone posts the same way. lm |
#9
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On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote: So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) Please interfere. Please talk to the wife when he's not around. Please make the child welcome. Please call the authorities. lm |
#10
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"CME" wrote in message news:9i47d.965$j24.459@clgrps12... "slykitten" wrote in message ... I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I find that odd. Christine Oh fer $$$ sakes Christine, can this girl not post without you following up with the above nonsense? Just move along to the next post or ignore her entirely. Lisa |
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