Pill Popping Our Children into Emotional Rescue

Pill Popping Our Children into Emotional Rescue

September 8, 2004

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by Kerry L. Marsala
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Today might seem to be a day like any other day, but all across this nation
our public schools are reaping what we've so carelessly sown as parents.

There are sixth graders having sex before comprehension of consequences, and
there are seventh grade students lying in hospital beds after a Wednesday
morning "cat fight" at a local Jr. High School. We've first graders lashing
out in anger at their teachers, and we've police officers being called in
because fourth grade students are threatening their teachers with physical
harm. Jr. Highs are practicing lockdowns as routinely as fire drills. High
Schools have weapons and narcotic shakedowns on a regular basis to keep the
students under control. Almost every campus in America-- from High School
down to grade school-- have police officers patrolling their campuses,
ticking their walks to the beat of our school time clocks.

America's children are exploding emotionally. What are we as their parents
going to do?

As the teachers try and schedule conferences with the student's parents for
the first time, the reasons for our problems become clear. The rising
numbers of parents who don't show interest in their children's academic
achievements or needs have quadrupled in the last couple of years. These
children are falling quickly through the cracks and are being sucked down
the abyss of, "No one cares about me, so why in the world should I care?"
When a teacher calls repeatedly to meet with the parents or a parent, and
the line of communication finally opens-- the answer from the parents is,
"I've done what I can, it's your turn to fix them." Better yet many times
the answer is "Well, I'll ask their doctor if we can just up their meds,
then they'll behave better."

Fortunately we still have parents who are raising their children in stable,
nurturing homes. They discipline their children with love, help them with
their homework, back up the teacher's request to help their child excel,
take them to social activities and monitor their friendships. The children
of these parents are doing the best they can to help grow strong adults, but
these children are mixed in with a growing majority of time bombs--labeled
"troubled students." Plus, depending on what part of the country you live
in, throw into this mixture of problem students' those who cannot speak
English. Not only do we have children in classrooms who are easily
distracted, constantly vying for attention (negative mostly), spewing out
words of profanity, and dressing like cheap two dollar whores, but we also
have those who cannot even read or write in English.

Surprised? This is all sitting in our classrooms daily-- our children
completely lost and devoid of any chance of understanding why their parents
have left them to their own devices. With 28% of our children under the age
of 18 as of 1999 living in single parent homes, our society has created an
atmosphere more often than not that fosters chaos and stress. This is not to
say there are not many single parents doing their jobs, some better than two
parent households, but the general mirror is a reflection on how many of us
as parents are behaving abhorrently. A group of Oregon scholars recently
divulged in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing that not
only are the risks high for mental and emotional disorders increasing, but
the number of public age school children are at risk for mental and
socioemotional outcomes, this truly is alarming. When the studies compared
single parent homes to their married peers, single parent homes were likely
to report aggravation in trying to juggle bills, rent, daycare and with all
these stresses being handled by a single parent the load at times causes the
single parent mental problems. This study showed that children who are now
developing these multiple mental health conditions are now carrying them to
school. Their findings showed at times there's no single parent, in fact at
times there's no parent at all. The Oregon scholars are seeing serious
implications in the familial disintegration, which has now put six percent
of children under the age of eighteen in grandparent-headed households.
These grandparents are doing their best to respond to the problems of this
parentless generation (brought on by divorce, incarceration, or child
abuse); but many of these grandparents are often single and therefore are
more likely to live in poverty.

When did we as the responsible adults decide that we'd just give birth to
this human being, dress it up, play with it when convenient, call it our son
or daughter, and then just hand it over to the world to deal with when we
didn't want to deal anymore? How did we become so selfish and self-centered?
Where did it become okay not to take care, love and nurture your own flesh
and blood? Why when children misbehave do we automatically feel we must run
to the doctor and demand a pill to control their behaviors? Are we raising a
generation of children on "Mother's little helpers?" We must be, because it
would seem we don't want to deal with behavioral problems at all. According
to a recent study released by, CMDA News and Views on 8/19/04, ADHD is hard
to diagnose, but once diagnosed can be treated. Many of our children may be
suffering from bipolar disorder. If we continue to react though to what our
public schools report home about behavior problems and not deal directly
with the individual patient we are misdiagnosing and treating unfavorably
problems or pseudo problems. Many of the cases of behavior problems can be
contributed to substance abuse used by the mother when pregnant or by a
chaotic living environment. Our nation is looking at a growing problem of
children who are at mental risk.

We know that at times some children and adults aren't wired right and they
need the help of medicines so they might have the balance to "reconnect" or
restore the working of the brains neurons correctly. But it would seem that
pill popping our children because we can't cope with being parents has
become the 21st century cure all for discipline. I don't have the time to
spank Johnny when he needs it. I don't have the time to sit and help
Samantha with her homework. I don't have the time to meet Scott's new friend
from school, so he'll just have to go it alone. I don't have time to shop
with my daughter, Sheila, so I just give her my credit card and trust her
judgement. I, I, I,.it's all about "I don't have the time." or maybe better
yet- I am just too selfish and I don't deserve these precious gifts that
were given to me. Self-centered and parenthood seem to go hand in hand in
today's society, so just give my kid a pill would you?

What do you think these lost children of today are going to do without a
loving caregiver? How can we as parents expect anything out of our youth
today when we won't invest in them? We'll invest in stocks, plastic
surgeries, manicures, dye jobs, shopping excursions, career climbing, sports
cars, oversized houses, but we won't invest in our children. We won't invest
in the most important production we decide to create. Could it be possible
that in order to have overall academic success as well as emotional health
that we need to return to marital and family commitments? With a return to
stability in the home, where mother and father work together as a unit,
could we resolve the explosion of mental and behavioral problems were are
seeing in today's youth?

What will happen to these uncared for children of today? What will they
become without someone to love them and show them the way? Oh, these kids
today they are survivors. They'll find ways to obtain love- pregnancy out of
wedlock several times over- abortions- moving from relationship to
relationship- drugs, alcohol, psychiatrist couches, mental hospital wards,
performing another Columbine, and quite possibly the sad repeat of the next
generation who will be raised to put "I" first before anyone or anything
else. To what end will our cities, states, countries, and world become,
because no one will take the time to love their children?

Our children are ready and waiting for us, what are we waiting for? Hell and
fury or just the next hour they're scheduled to receive their "magic" pill?


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Eliminate the impossible and whatever
remains, no matter how improbable, must
be the truth.

---- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ---