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#11
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Push presents...?
That sounds pretty silly to me. The best present you can get from all the
pushing is your bundle of joy. Somebody just made that up in order to get more expensive jewelry. Sad. "Carla" wrote in message ... Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a couple of months ago. Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie so I really don't know. hmmmm..... Here's an article about it that's on Fox News website: ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers By Catherine Donaldson-Evans Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present. But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to their list -- along with Valentine's Day (search), birthdays, holidays and the all-important anniversary. "My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born. Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pass the word on to their hubbies. "I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that I just assumed it was the norm," said Leitner. But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very involved in buying the actual present. "I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen, 35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was more as if I didn't have a choice." Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars -- when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born. "I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a baby for nine months," said the real estate professional. The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England (search), the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In India (search), a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife -- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S. The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their 1-year-old daughter. "That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I didn't expect anything else." Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle. "To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said. "In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education." Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines. "The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to have a rule." In that vein, the push-present practice is passed along mainly by word-of-mouth. "There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it gets spread down to generations." Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female friends. "It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this," said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had to be done." But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also been known to rib each other about push presents. One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund analyst husband after their son was born. "He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the 32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I picked a weekend away." Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts. "My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got her flowers when she was in the hospital." |
#12
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Push presents...?
Aw....I am sure my husband would do this, but I really don't expect or even
want him to. I have never heard it called a push present-- but have heard of the gift giving by the new dad before. I really don't want my husband to do this. I DO want him to remember me on Mother's day form now on though. I'm just so excited about having a baby, and I want to be sure we get everything we need for the baby etc. I wouldn't feel right him giving me jewelry for going through pregnancy and labor-- I should give HIM something, for being right here with me! A healthy baby is all I want. I couldn't have made the baby by myself, so he gave me that. My husband gets me nice jewelry on my birthday, Valentine's Day, and Christmas, and our anniversary. JMO though. There is certainly nothing wrong with a so-called push present! I DO think it would be nice for us each to give each other something special to commemorate the birth of our baby....but just a small sentimental something. I'd like to get him a special "Daddy" item. |
#13
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Push presents...?
Chotii wrote:
"Circe" wrote in message news:2yt4c.22717$BA.11184@fed1read03... Donna wrote: If he's offering... why not take it? Even if you aren't a jewellery person, it would be a heart-stopping wedding gift for your daughter ("This is the bracelet that your father gave me on the day you were born... sniff sniff). If it's all the same to you, I'd rather have a Mazda Rx8 or, better yet, an Audi TT... Heh. Considering what my poor husband has had to go through, supporting me through multiple complicated pregnancies, I think he and I are pretty much even. He owes me nothing. I hear ya. I didn't really have much trouble with L&D (I actually enjoyed giving birth, unmedicated no less; I'd do it every few years if I didn't have to worry about raising the result each time). And since I only pushed for a combined total of 50 minutes to get three babies out, a sports car or even a piece of jewelry (which I don't find particularly moving, anyway) seems rather like overpayment for any service rendered by my giving birth to his children. OTOH, if he *wants* to give me something pricey for any reason, he knows what I like, and it ain't rocks g! -- Be well, Barbara (Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [2] mom) All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#14
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Push presents...?
Puester wrote:
Carla wrote: Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a couple of months ago. Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. Sounds like another marketing ploy to me to get people to spend even more money that they don't have. Does Hallmark have a card for it yet? DId she get him an exopensive gift for impregnating her? Jeezum! There is actually a (very offensive IMHO) commercial for a diamond company/jewelry shop (can't remember which one, de beers or something) where the whole theme is some new father thanking his wife for giving him a son by surprising her with diamonds. :P |
#15
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Push presents...?
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#16
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Push presents...?
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#17
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Push presents...?
says...
Yeah, doesn't seem all that necessary to me. If you're the sort of couple that gets each other fancy gifts anyway, that's one thing. As for me, I'll take a kiss, a bouquet of flowers, and my first rare steak in months! I think my husband is planning on surprising me with something. We never buy each other gifts, don't *do* Valentine's Day etc .. and we're both that goddamn particular, we like to buy our own things ! But if he does buy me something, i'm sure I will cry & love it for sentimental reasons ( but boy, it had better be to my taste ! g ) -- Baby, I can't wait to meet you ! EDD: 10-Apr-2004 |
#18
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Push presents...?
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#19
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Push presents...?
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#20
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Push presents...?
"Circe" wrote in message news:2yt4c.22717$BA.11184@fed1read03... Donna wrote: If he's offering... why not take it? Even if you aren't a jewellery person, it would be a heart-stopping wedding gift for your daughter ("This is the bracelet that your father gave me on the day you were born... sniff sniff). If it's all the same to you, I'd rather have a Mazda Rx8 or, better yet, an Audi TT... LOL, Barbara. Wouldnt that be hard to wear on a chain around your neck though, don't you think? bats eyes Donna |
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