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#21
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Push presents...?
Yeah, doesn't seem all that necessary to me. If you're the sort of
couple that gets each other fancy gifts anyway, that's one thing. As for me, I'll take a kiss, a bouquet of flowers, and my first rare steak in months! I don't think I even got flowers, except maybe from the landlady after the twins were born. The only thing I remember my husband buying for me was take-out barbecue! Mind you, it was GOOOOOOD barbecue. --Helen |
#22
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Push presents...?
Uggh....sounds so tacky and commercial. My poor DH did enough with #1,
getting his fingers nearly broken and his hand bitten trying to stroke my face. If he does want to get me something though, I liked the idea of a 'mother's' charm bracelet, doesn't have to be expensive, but I wanted something I could put the initials & birthstones, starsigns etc. of both children (and leave room of course for if we have more ;-) "Carla" wrote in message ... Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a couple of months ago. Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie so I really don't know. hmmmm..... Here's an article about it that's on Fox News website: ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers By Catherine Donaldson-Evans Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present. But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to their list -- along with Valentine's Day (search), birthdays, holidays and the all-important anniversary. "My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born. Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pass the word on to their hubbies. "I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that I just assumed it was the norm," said Leitner. But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very involved in buying the actual present. "I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen, 35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was more as if I didn't have a choice." Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars -- when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born. "I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a baby for nine months," said the real estate professional. The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England (search), the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In India (search), a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife -- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S. The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their 1-year-old daughter. "That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I didn't expect anything else." Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle. "To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said. "In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education." Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines. "The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to have a rule." In that vein, the push-present practice is passed along mainly by word-of-mouth. "There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it gets spread down to generations." Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female friends. "It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this," said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had to be done." But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also been known to rib each other about push presents. One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund analyst husband after their son was born. "He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the 32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I picked a weekend away." Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts. "My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got her flowers when she was in the hospital." |
#23
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Push presents...?
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 08:53:23 +1300, "Amy"
wrote: Uggh....sounds so tacky and commercial. A husband buying his wife a gift for his wife is tacky & commercial? How so? If he does want to get me something though, I liked the idea of a 'mother's' charm bracelet, doesn't have to be expensive, but I wanted something I could put the initials & birthstones, starsigns etc. of both children (and leave room of course for if we have more ;-) Wouldn't that be too tacky or commercial? Make up your mind...sheesh! "Carla" wrote in message .. . Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a couple of months ago. Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie so I really don't know. hmmmm..... Here's an article about it that's on Fox News website: ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers By Catherine Donaldson-Evans Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present. But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to their list -- along with Valentine's Day (search), birthdays, holidays and the all-important anniversary. "My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born. Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pass the word on to their hubbies. "I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that I just assumed it was the norm," said Leitner. But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very involved in buying the actual present. "I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen, 35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was more as if I didn't have a choice." Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars -- when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born. "I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a baby for nine months," said the real estate professional. The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England (search), the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In India (search), a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife -- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S. The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their 1-year-old daughter. "That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I didn't expect anything else." Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle. "To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said. "In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education." Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines. "The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to have a rule." In that vein, the push-present practice is passed along mainly by word-of-mouth. "There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it gets spread down to generations." Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female friends. "It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this," said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had to be done." But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also been known to rib each other about push presents. One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund analyst husband after their son was born. "He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the 32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I picked a weekend away." Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts. "My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got her flowers when she was in the hospital." #1 EDD 5/14/04 |
#24
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Push presents...?
On Sat, 13 Mar 2004 20:33:24 GMT, Carla
wrote: On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 08:53:23 +1300, "Amy" wrote: Uggh....sounds so tacky and commercial. A husband buying his wife a gift for his wife is tacky & commercial? Oops...should read: A husband buying a gift for his wife is tacky & commercial? If he does want to get me something though, I liked the idea of a 'mother's' charm bracelet, doesn't have to be expensive, but I wanted something I could put the initials & birthstones, starsigns etc. of both children (and leave room of course for if we have more ;-) Wouldn't that be too tacky or commercial? Make up your mind...sheesh! "Carla" wrote in message . .. Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a couple of months ago. Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie so I really don't know. hmmmm..... Here's an article about it that's on Fox News website: ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers By Catherine Donaldson-Evans Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present. But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to their list -- along with Valentine's Day (search), birthdays, holidays and the all-important anniversary. "My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born. Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pass the word on to their hubbies. "I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that I just assumed it was the norm," said Leitner. But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very involved in buying the actual present. "I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen, 35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was more as if I didn't have a choice." Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars -- when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born. "I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a baby for nine months," said the real estate professional. The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England (search), the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In India (search), a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife -- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S. The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their 1-year-old daughter. "That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I didn't expect anything else." Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle. "To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said. "In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education." Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines. "The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to have a rule." In that vein, the push-present practice is passed along mainly by word-of-mouth. "There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it gets spread down to generations." Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female friends. "It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this," said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had to be done." But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also been known to rib each other about push presents. One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund analyst husband after their son was born. "He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the 32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I picked a weekend away." Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts. "My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got her flowers when she was in the hospital." #1 EDD 5/14/04 #1 EDD 5/14/04 |
#25
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Push presents...?
"Puester" wrote in message ... Carla wrote: Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a couple of months ago. Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. Sounds like another marketing ploy to me to get people to spend even more money that they don't have. Does Hallmark have a card for it yet? DId she get him an exopensive gift for impregnating her? Jeezum! gloria p We call valentines day retail day in our house. My hubby bought me a bracelet for our son's first birthday. It had been a tough year for me and he wanted to give me something to say thankyou. Noone told him to he had never heard of a push present. I think it takes away some of the "specialness" of gifts when we get told by marketing people that we are supposed to give and receive them. Judy |
#26
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Push presents...?
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 09:58:38 +1300, "Kereru"
wrote: "Puester" wrote in message ... I think it takes away some of the "specialness" of gifts when we get told by marketing people that we are supposed to give and receive them. Judy What marketing people? I think someone just came up with a name for the presents that most husbands already gave their wives when they give birth. What's the big deal? #1 EDD 5/14/04 |
#27
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Push presents...?
"Carla" wrote in message ... On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 08:53:23 +1300, "Amy" wrote: Uggh....sounds so tacky and commercial. A husband buying his wife a gift for his wife is tacky & commercial? How so? It's tacky and commercial if it was NOT a cultural norm but becomes one solely becausee of heavy commercialization. You know, like Valentine's day, and giving christmas presents to everybody you know solely because it's December 25. Oh yes, and engagement rings "ought" to cost 3X your monthly salary. If he does want to get me something though, I liked the idea of a 'mother's' charm bracelet, doesn't have to be expensive, but I wanted something I could put the initials & birthstones, starsigns etc. of both children (and leave room of course for if we have more ;-) Wouldn't that be too tacky or commercial? Make up your mind...sheesh! The difference is, she would like such a bracelet. She doesn't expect it. She doesn't expect it, particularly, as her due for having borne a baby. --angela |
#28
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Push presents...?
"Carla" wrote in message ... On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 09:58:38 +1300, "Kereru" wrote: "Puester" wrote in message ... I think it takes away some of the "specialness" of gifts when we get told by marketing people that we are supposed to give and receive them. Judy What marketing people? I think someone just came up with a name for the presents that most husbands already gave their wives when they give birth. What's the big deal? #1 EDD 5/14/04 Sorry I meant Valentines day. Here in New Zealand the marketing hype starts weeks out they advertise hugely expensive things. It's just crazy. All the shops have huge window displays, TV advertising is all Valentines gifts. Radio plays valentines games and countless "what will you get your valentine" ads. There is tons of pressure to buy something and how much you spend becomes important. The underlying message is if you love your partner you will buy them something. Of course lots of people don't buy into it but there are many who do. I think a gift for a new mother is a good idea, but in my opinion it would be sad if the idea of a gift from Dad to Mum got hijacked the same way that Valentines day has. Judy |
#29
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Push presents...?
anon says:
I really don't want my husband to do this. I DO want him to remember me on Mother's day form now on though. That's how I feel about it too. :-) I'd heard of "push presents" but never heard it called that. I didn't want anything from DH but to be there for me during labor and delivery, and he was, with far more support, encouragement, and comfort than I even imagined would be necessary. :-) When all was said and done, we were both just so thrilled we made it through and had a healthy baby with us. For him to "reward" me with an expensive bauble would really have kind of cheapened the experience. -- Alpha mom to Eamon and Quinn |
#30
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Push presents...?
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