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#71
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Is there an equation ?
time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That seems really really odd I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book grandma about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including weekends. Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get easier. Lol. I'm just shocked. Maybe I have a screwed up view of 8 yr olds, or my friends have weird 8 yr olds. There's no reason why an 8 yr old can't get up alone on a Saturday, put cartoons on, and get a bowl of cereal or something, letting you sleep in. Unless that's *dangerous* - lol. You have no friends who can babysit? |
#72
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Is there an equation ?
\ An 8 yr old??!! I thought you were talking about a baby for goodness
sake. Um, an 8 yr old gets up, goes to school, has activities, homework, dinner and bed. Wow, that's tough. Exactly. My 8 yr old is *so* easy. I have no idea what is going on in their house but I cannot imagine ever complaining about her, let alone the 3 of them together. Ok, I complain once in awhile, lol, and it's not easy all the time but it's not THAT hard either!! Tiring, yes, but not exactly difficult. And he's a Marine so he can be gone anywhere from a few days in the field (heavenly!) to 6 months who knows where. It really amazes me how you do it, really. The few years I was a Navy wife were much tougher for me than it is now and I had only had 2 kids. Major kudos to you, totally, and all the other wives of servicemen. Im in total awe of all of you!!! Kari |
#73
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Is there an equation ?
"Kari" wrote in message
... \ An 8 yr old??!! I thought you were talking about a baby for goodness sake. Um, an 8 yr old gets up, goes to school, has activities, homework, dinner and bed. Wow, that's tough. Exactly. My 8 yr old is *so* easy. I have no idea what is going on in their house but I cannot imagine ever complaining about her, let alone the 3 of them together. Ok, I complain once in awhile, lol, and it's not easy all the time but it's not THAT hard either!! Tiring, yes, but not exactly difficult. It *is* tiring, and we do joke about the nuthouse, but really. It's maybe hectic at certain times of the day (when C gets home from school till bed). That's my only complaint really. And he's a Marine so he can be gone anywhere from a few days in the field (heavenly!) to 6 months who knows where. It really amazes me how you do it, really. The few years I was a Navy wife were much tougher for me than it is now and I had only had 2 kids. Major kudos to you, totally, and all the other wives of servicemen. Im in total awe of all of you!!! Kari I can do it cos I'm not doing it alone. There's always at least one friend of mine whose husband is gone too. And someone always has a worse situation than I do. What's my other option anyway? Divorce? Lol. (j/k of course) |
#74
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Is there an equation ?
"Denise Anderson" wrote in message ... "Ian" wrote in message ... "Jenn" wrote in message ... In article , "Ian" wrote: "Sophie" wrote in message ... "Ian" wrote in message ... The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not here to start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and say parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club, that no one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it! What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some people it *is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand?? How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we have one aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time she is a SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event! time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That seems really really odd I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book grandma about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including weekends. Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get easier. So get a babysitter. He's 8, hire a teenager. Its not like he needs mass amounts of supervision. I live 2500+ miles away from my closest relative. Make friends with your neighbors and swap babysitting for a couple hours. Whats the point of hiring a babysitter for the evening when you still have to be up at 7am? I am also not comforable with the idea of some teen being in my house alone. I was a teen babysitter once... And why do you still need to wake up on the weekends? My 5 year old is perfectly capable of getting her own cereal and turning cartoons on Saturday mornings. I am not comfortable with my child being up alone. He gets up, so one of us gets up. Besides its hard to sleep with the TV blaring anyway. Ive tried it. You cant have a proper rest when they are up. How does your 5 year old get their own cereal? Do they have a stool for the counter or something? Does it not end up all over the place. I am sure it would be that way if my 8 yr old tried it! |
#75
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Is there an equation ?
"Sophie" wrote in message ... time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That seems really really odd I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book grandma about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including weekends. Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get easier. Lol. I'm just shocked. Maybe I have a screwed up view of 8 yr olds, or my friends have weird 8 yr olds. There's no reason why an 8 yr old can't get up alone on a Saturday, put cartoons on, and get a bowl of cereal or something, letting you sleep in. Unless that's *dangerous* - lol. Its not dangerous, we just cant really sleep properly when he is up. And he is too short to reach the counter to get cereal. You have no friends who can babysit? Yes, but I really don't want to be returning the favor so I don't ask. Most of my friends have little kids, or more than one. |
#76
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Is there an equation ?
In article ,
"Ian" wrote: "Jenn" wrote in message ... In article , "Ian" wrote: "Sophie" wrote in message ... "Ian" wrote in message ... The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not here to start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and say parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club, that no one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it! What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some people it *is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand?? How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we have one aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time she is a SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event! time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That seems really really odd I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book grandma about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including weekends. Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get easier. we raised two kids and worked full time in demanding professional jobs [while demanding -- when you have a professional job you do have some flexibility that people working 9-5 don't ] none of our family lives nearby -- and we had no one to help with housework -- and this didn't stop us from having time together [we 'dated' each other every Saturday night -- except when the kids were newborns] -- and even then we did our best to make time for ourselves as well as the kids so we joined a babysitting coop which meant we could go out when the kids were quite small and feel comfortable with their care, we found baby sitters as they got older so we could go out every Saturday night, we took turns sleeping in when the kids were very small -- he slept in on Saturday and I did on Sunday -- and we also taught our kids to amuse themselves early in the morning and not wake us up as they got older -- an 8 year old is plenty old enough to have breakfast and occupy himself for an hour or two on Saturday morning so you can sleep in till 8-9 at least so much of this once basic needs are covered is about attitude -- what you make of your life -- and a full time mom school age child and breadwinner family seems to offer pretty good opportunities for bliss to me |
#77
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Is there an equation ?
Ian wrote:
The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not here to start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and say parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club, that no one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it! I don't think the word "easy" has been used once in this thread. People have simply said that for them, having more than one child wasn't significantly more difficult than having just one child. Why do you believe you know their experience better than they do? I have childless friends ask me what its like to be a parent. Damn hard I say! No point telling them its a bed of roses or they are going to get one hell of a shock! Would I change my life? Of course not BUT I don't want it to get any tougher. I am sure another child would be the light of my life too, but my life is hard enough, I have no wish to make it harder, even if it means missing out on more kids. I don't recall anyone advocating that those who are happy with single children have more, either. People are just naturally responding to your blanket statements which they find to be unrepresentative of their situations. Best wishes, Ericka |
#78
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Is there an equation ?
"Ian" wrote in message ... "Denise Anderson" wrote in message ... "Ian" wrote in message .. Whats the point of hiring a babysitter for the evening when you still have to be up at 7am? I am also not comforable with the idea of some teen being in my house alone. I was a teen babysitter once... You don't *have* to be up at 7am. You choose to be up at 7am. I was a teenage babysitter once. I still use them. Or what's wrong with your neighbors? My best babysitters are the ones I trade babysitting with. Usually my best friend or his wife. I am not comfortable with my child being up alone. He gets up, so one of us gets up. Besides its hard to sleep with the TV blaring anyway. Ive tried it. You cant have a proper rest when they are up. Here's your problem. You have some trust issues or something equally Dr. Phil-ish. I trust my daughter to do what is right based on what I've taught her. I keep the cereal, and almost anything else she might ever want, at her level. I put milk in a smaller container and put it in the fridge. She can get bowls out of the dish rack for her sisters and herself. Sure, its not always neat, but nothing major's ever happened. She can also make toast and today I learned she can make microwave popcorn too. 8 year old children need independence. They need to know they can entertain themselves, feed themselves, bathe themselves.. so on and so forth. When my 9 year old stepdaughter is here its not any harder than my own 3. |
#79
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Is there an equation ?
"Sophie" wrote in message ... "Kari" wrote in message ... \ An 8 yr old??!! I thought you were talking about a baby for goodness sake. Um, an 8 yr old gets up, goes to school, has activities, homework, dinner and bed. Wow, that's tough. Exactly. My 8 yr old is *so* easy. I have no idea what is going on in their house but I cannot imagine ever complaining about her, let alone the 3 of them together. Ok, I complain once in awhile, lol, and it's not easy all the time but it's not THAT hard either!! Tiring, yes, but not exactly difficult. It *is* tiring, and we do joke about the nuthouse, but really. It's maybe hectic at certain times of the day (when C gets home from school till bed). That's my only complaint really. And he's a Marine so he can be gone anywhere from a few days in the field (heavenly!) to 6 months who knows where. It really amazes me how you do it, really. The few years I was a Navy wife were much tougher for me than it is now and I had only had 2 kids. Major kudos to you, totally, and all the other wives of servicemen. Im in total awe of all of you!!! Kari I can do it cos I'm not doing it alone. There's always at least one friend of mine whose husband is gone too. And someone always has a worse situation than I do. What's my other option anyway? Divorce? Lol. (j/k of course) The SGLI always looks mighty fine right around 6 months into one of DH's deployments. BG |
#80
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Is there an equation ?
Kari wrote:
Looking back on your first post, when you said $1250, I thought that was your mortgage and I guess that is your sq ft! Lol. But we live in remote-land USA in upstate NY, cheapo taxes, houses are not much at all, even buying brand new. The house we're interested in is nearly 3000 sq ft, having it built + land is about 250K for everything. Here's the link to it http://www.bardenhomes.com/new%20pla.../hollister.htm Im totally in love with it!! We're just looking for a good piece of land and saving, saving, saving!! Pretty reasonable compared to much of the rest of the country though. That is an absolutely awesome house!! I'm guessing it would cost about the same amount here. My new house is a 1928 Dutch Colonial. I love the floor plan and it has high ceilings and a fire place! No main floor bathroom though so when I get old and decrepit I'm in trouble ;-) You know how much my old house cost 8 years ago? $35,000 dollars, lol. It was out in the boonies or I'd had just fixed that one up. My mortgate was $325/mo. Hard to give that up! -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2) |
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