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#12
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"Chris Himes" wrote in message m... (Iowacookiemom) wrote in message ... Not to minimize Henry's problems, or to suggest that you do nothing, I will say that we are encountering many similar problems with our own 13 year old son, now in 8th grade. There are lots of developmental issues that I'm sure you are aware of and they probably aggravate any underlying problems. They are tough enough for kids not dealing with a disability! Our son forgets books and assignments, puts things off to the last minute, forgets to bring me notes and forms, and generally goofs off in school. He is involved in lots of thingsI alternate between complete frustration, a hands-off approach, cajoling, punishing... I just hope we make it through middle school. While I agree that middle school is very difficult for any child, a child with ADD has additional issues that shouldn't be negated by assuming that he CAN get his act together if he just tried harder. That just isn't true of a child with real ADD. I have one child with ADHD and one without it. They both have issues with organization, and of course both would completely goof off in school if they were allowed to. My ADHD child has been pullled out of a regular school setting because he absolutely COULD NOT organize himself, and his teachers were unwilling and unable to help him with the accomodations he required. He now attends a private school, which our school system is paying for in full to the tune of $45+K/year, but he is finally being accomodated and he's gone from failing to straight A's in record time. In his new school, they encourage individualized learning for differently abled learners, and he's finished a year of math in 2 months and is now working on the next year of math. If he continues at this rate, he'll have finished all of high school math but Calculus in one year. Imagine any regular school, public or private, that would accomodate this kind of learner! I've tried every approach imaginable with my son prior to going outside the school system. Like you, Chris, I've cajoled, screamed, pleaded, punished, rewarded, and backed off. None of those things worked. Not even remotely! What does work is a highly structured school setting where expectations are clearly laid out in small increments with level rewards, just like in preschool. My kid is so anxious to remain on the highest level, which gets him really cool field trips, that he'll do just about anything to make sure that he's taken. And that means homework, classwork, studying, and participating respectfully. He has to have a card signed hourly saying that he's done everything required of him to stay on level, and he does! Some ADD/ADHD kids need this level of supervision to get them to be organized enough to settle down to work. Knowing that only an hour of his time is on his mind makes him much more able to function, whereas a full day's planning and organization was just impossible for him to manage. Of course very few kids are in the position where they must be taken out of a regular school setting, but in Dawn's case, she hasn't tried any other school options yet, which might be much more helpful for Henry in the long run than leaving him in a school that doesn't want to accomodate his learning differences. Unfortunately, she's in Texas, land of the NCLB law, and from what I've heard, Texas isn't very tolerant of learning differences of any kind, nor are they welcoming to accomodations. That stinks. Marjorie |
#13
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"animzmirot" wrote in message ...
"Chris Himes" wrote in message m... (Iowacookiemom) wrote in message ... Not to minimize Henry's problems, or to suggest that you do nothing, I will say that we are encountering many similar problems with our own 13 year old son, now in 8th grade. While I agree that middle school is very difficult for any child, a child with ADD has additional issues that shouldn't be negated by assuming that he CAN get his act together if he just tried harder. That just isn't true of a child with real ADD. Of course very few kids are in the position where they must be taken out of a regular school setting, but in Dawn's case, she hasn't tried any other school options yet, which might be much more helpful for Henry in the long run than leaving him in a school that doesn't want to accomodate his learning differences. I agree completely. Having "shared" in your struggles over the years with your sons, I understand that both you and Dawn are dealing with very different issues than I have faced. I just wanted to say that given what I HAVE experienced with a "normal" but moderatlely gifted son, I can only imagine the frustrations faced by families dealing with the combination of young adolescence, giftednes, and attention difficulties. Middle school is a tough time, I'm just hoping that, like for me, by about 10th grade things will fall in place for my son. I strongly support and understand your drive to find the best setting for your kids. I sometimes wish we lived in an area where we had those options. Chris |
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