your opinion please ( baby traveling away from mom)

I don't think so. In fact, I probably won't really leave her with anyone
until she's
2, at which time she'll start pre-school 4 hours a day (because studies
have shown that up to 20 hours of pre-school/daycare per week is
actually beneficial for social development).

Sorry folks, one more thing.

Actually, I disagree with this. I think going to preschool at 2 yrs old is
too young and at four hours a day is a long time for a little one.
Preferable age for preschool for us is 4 yrs old. Having said that though,
DD1 and DD2 went to preschool at 3 years old. DD1 because of her
disability
and DD3 because she begged to go to school and be like her sisters. So she
went at 3 yrs old and it was fine.

I've never seen this research, but it seems to me 20hrs from none is a huge
jump.

I would have thought that other activities are as valuable, for example,
toddler groups, family groups that kind of thing. We tend to do something
most mornings, some are activities where the children go to a creche, which
is a structured activity, not just stop the children from crying for 2hrs,
also we go to groups where we sit down and have meal together, do parachute
play, all sorts of things.

Plus, setting down a fixed ages is so arbitraray, DS was so not ready at age
2, now at almost 3, he is desperate to be independent and do something, but
I suspect 20hrs would still be too much. He will go is September 5 mornings
a week 2.5hrs a morning.

Anne

emilymr wrote:

Sorry for the sarcasm/exaggeration, but I find this line of thinking
almost as implausible as the idea that my post-false-negative-PT
winetasting trip gave my 1/4-Japanese child red hair and blue eyes. :P
Don't get me wrong; I *do* believe there are many things we as parents
can do to screw up our kids. I also think most of these things fall
into pretty well-defined categories of abuse - categories that
everyone on this board would agree with. I'm NOT as convinced that
detailed parenting choices we make will (automatically) result in
independent, loving, self-disciplined, attached, spiritual, [fill in
your desired characteristic] child. I think we can (and should) try
and foster these characteristics, but we're dealing with individual
children with their own personalities and propensities - not blank
slates.

Please -- I *knew* that the choices I made helped DD1 to become the
amazing child that she was and is, and that any, well, misbehavior was
due to something she obviously learned from another kid. But clearly,
everything that was positive was a result of my own efforts.

Then I had baby #2.

Oh.

Caledonia

"Caledonia" wrote in message
oups.com...

Please -- I *knew* that the choices I made helped DD1 to become the
amazing child that she was and is, and that any, well, misbehavior was
due to something she obviously learned from another kid. But clearly,
everything that was positive was a result of my own efforts.

Then I had baby #2.

Oh.

Isn't that the truth. Oh my, and #3 and #4 have really only reinforced what
I learned when #2 came along.


--
Joy

Rose 1-99
Iris 2-01
Spencer 3-03
Grant 9-05 www.caringbridge.org/visit/grantphilip

"Sue" wrote in message
...

Or, if
you want to travel, you can go with her and stay with her at his
parents for a week, but there is NO way that I would allow my daughter
to go anywhere for that long without me. None. Not under any
circumstances in the world. Not even if I were in the hospital or
something. Good God...

Sometimes life gets in the way. I am glad that you don't have any
circumstances in your life to ever be away. I hope it stays that way. I
had
to be away from my kids during some points of their lives because of DD1
special needs and being in the hospital for months at a time. Middle
daugher
was around 8 months when DD1 had to be in the hospital. I had to have
strangers/family/friends/husband keep her. It wasn't the end of the earth
for her because I have made sure that my kids are exposed to other people
for this very reason. Then I had to be away when DD3 was 4 and DD2 was 5
for
three months, again for a hospitalization. It was harder because they were
older, but again since I have exposed them to other people, they did fine.
And of course dad was with them as much as he could. I think your
untrusting
of people is really OTT. Sometimes a person just cannot help situations.
The
OP situation is of course optional, but still I have left my girls with my
mom so hubby and I could go on a trip. I trust my family and I trust the
people that cared for my kids when I couldn't be there.

Coming home from a six day hospital stay, I have to agree with life and
circumstances changing things. I'm awfully grateful for the people in my
life that have come through for us. It's been tough for my kids because
they've been so used to having me here (they are 3, 5 and 7), but they're
making it (so am I!). I feel their (and mine) lives have been enriched by
the generous and loving people who have helped so much. You (general you)
can only do the best with the cards you're dealt, and I think, Sue, that you
are doing a terrific job.


--
Joy

Rose 1-99
Iris 2-01
Spencer 3-03
Grant 9-05 www.caringbridge.org/visit/grantphilip

oregonchick writes:
: My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
: US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
: year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
: drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
: Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at the
: house for that time period. He assures me that his mother will take perfect
: care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this on so many levels.
: Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care, I can't imagine her
: being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc. Of course his parents
: will have very limited opportunities to see their ONLY grandchild, so I feel
: a little guilty.

: Opinions?

Yes, of course. Oh, you actually wanted someone to tell you what their
opinion is. :-)

It is quite simple. Go along and stay with your husband's parents for
the week. J'espere que tu parle Allemange. Whoops, that's the wrong
language. Ich hoffe dass du Deutsch sprechen. :-)

Now, you might think of all the reasons why it isn't practical for
you to go, (or your DH thinks of all the reasons...), but in this
situation I think it is the only solution that is a win for everybody.

: Betsy

Hope this works,
Larry

"Joybelle" wrote in message
Coming home from a six day hospital stay, I have to agree with life and
circumstances changing things. I'm awfully grateful for the people in my
life that have come through for us. It's been tough for my kids because
they've been so used to having me here (they are 3, 5 and 7), but they're
making it (so am I!). I feel their (and mine) lives have been enriched by
the generous and loving people who have helped so much. You (general you)
can only do the best with the cards you're dealt, and I think, Sue, that
you
are doing a terrific job.

Thank you Joybelle. I think you are doing an awesome job yourself. My kids
too were used to me being around all the time and it was hard for them,
mostly my youngest though because she didn't have the experience of being
with other people. My middle one just rolls with the punches. I am very
grateful that A hasn't had to be in the hospital for a while (knock on
wood). We just celebrated 13 years out from her liver transplant on May 3rd
and I am very grateful for every day that I am allowed to have her with us.
Hang in there Joybelle. )
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

wrote in message ...
oregonchick writes:
: My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
: US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and
this
: year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him
to
: drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
: Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at
the
: house for that time period. He assures me that his mother will take
perfect
: care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this on so many
levels.
: Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care, I can't imagine her
: being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc. Of course his
parents
: will have very limited opportunities to see their ONLY grandchild, so I
feel
: a little guilty.

: Opinions?

Yes, of course. Oh, you actually wanted someone to tell you what their
opinion is. :-)

It is quite simple. Go along and stay with your husband's parents for
the week. J'espere que tu parle Allemange. Whoops, that's the wrong
language. Ich hoffe dass du Deutsch sprechen. :-)

Now, you might think of all the reasons why it isn't practical for
you to go, (or your DH thinks of all the reasons...), but in this
situation I think it is the only solution that is a win for everybody.

: Betsy

Hope this works,
Larry

Thanks Larry, with all things considered, you are probably right.