RSVP (and pinatas)

In article , Banty
wrote:

It sounds to me like parents are offered the "choice" of having their
personal
details circulated to complete strangers OR of running whole-class-size
parties -- and all at the say-so of the school. And people don't see this
as
interfering in their personal lives?

Are you talking about our Montessori school, which had long elaborate
costume-demanding International Day celebrations each October 31, in hopes
that that would overwhelm the "evil, occult" Halloween? The one that banned
my child from eating Fritos?

Naw - they don't do this to interfere in our personal family life - what you
kiddin'?

Ha! But did they insist that you not eat Fritos or carve pumpkins at home?

We don't generally celebrate Halloween in Australia -- the English traditions
have been lost (eg try finding a fodder pumpkin, let alone a fodder turnip, in
spring...). It's creeping in from people watching American TV shows, though.
Catholics (particularly Italians) visit family graves on All Souls' Day, of
course. MM was a devout Catholic IIRC.

DS2's day care is owned by a Muslim woman. Last year the day care celebrated
Chinese New Year, Easter, Christmas and Eid, mainly in craft activities. No
doubt if a Hindu child comes in this year, they will add Diwali.

googles Fritos

Junk food was banned from the first day-care DS1 went to (parents had to
provide their children's lunches). I must say that I'm not really thrilled
about the junky morning teas provided at DS2's current day care -- fairy bread
today. The lunches are fine, and they have fruit in the afternoon. (No pork
products, usually! At the Christmas celebration, each family brings in a dish
to share at the party, and as there are quite a few Chinese parents, that
means pork products!)

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/

"Chookie" wrote in message
news:ehrebeniuk-D6724F.21530105062008@news...
In article ,
toto wrote:

On Sat, 31 May 2008 10:10:54 +1000, Chookie
wrote:

Um, do preschoolers and early graders usually do that sort of thing --
and
with the connivance of their parents?

Preschoolers and early graders *can* do this if it is allowed. With
preschoolers, a big *thing* is often to say *I'm not your friend and
you can't come to my birthday party,* though usually this doesn't last
long enough to become an invitation problem.

We went to very few, if any, pre-school parties. But I just can't picture
it
at all. Perhaps my DSs move in unusual circles, but that stuff certainly
wasn't going on at pre-school age. Is this a girl thing? The first act
of
exclusion was by a jealous female friend of DS1's, in Kindy. I would not
say
it was a feature of DS1's friendships, as a rule, and he is 7 now. I
should
also point out that the school puts a lot of effort into encouraging
positive
relationships (not with tokenistic stuff like banning party invitations,
either) so perhaps that has something to do with it.

I think it's more a girl thing. Although I've seen it entirely the other
way. "you're my friend and I'm going to invite you to my party". (even
though the said party is 10 months away!) It's, for some girls, a way of
saying "I want to be your friend."
Debbie

With K students, a
student who happens to be different may be ostracized because his
behavior is *weird.*

DS1 did have a classmate who has since been moved to special ed for what
is
probably an ASD. The other children were intimidated by his unpredictable
(and unmanaged -- his mother had been pretending to herself that he was
normal) behaviour. I would guess that this little boy might well not have
been invited to parties -- but then, DS1 only went to one party that year
and
we didn't hold one ourselves.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/

In article ehrebeniuk-339947.22531405062008@news, Chookie says...

In article , Banty
wrote:

It sounds to me like parents are offered the "choice" of having their
personal
details circulated to complete strangers OR of running whole-class-size
parties -- and all at the say-so of the school. And people don't see this
as
interfering in their personal lives?

Are you talking about our Montessori school, which had long elaborate
costume-demanding International Day celebrations each October 31, in hopes
that that would overwhelm the "evil, occult" Halloween? The one that banned
my child from eating Fritos?

Naw - they don't do this to interfere in our personal family life - what you
kiddin'?

Ha! But did they insist that you not eat Fritos or carve pumpkins at home?

Almost!! I went to them and recommeneded that the International Day be moved
away from Halloween as a date, so that there wouldnt be two costumes to be
prepared for one day. (Silly me - thought that was reasonable feedback.) Their
answer was, quote unquote! - "We hate Halloween". The timing was intentional.
And indeed, that Halloween, my son was too tuckered out that evening to
celebrate :-( If he had continued in the school the following year, I would
have arranged a doctor's appointment or something to make him absent on
Halloween, but we did not continue Montessori past that year, for unreleted
reasons.

But, yeah - their stated intent was to get some ghosty-gobliny "occult" stuff
off the street and replace them with sari's and bolero vests if they could.


We don't generally celebrate Halloween in Australia -- the English traditions
have been lost (eg try finding a fodder pumpkin, let alone a fodder turnip, in
spring...). It's creeping in from people watching American TV shows, though.
Catholics (particularly Italians) visit family graves on All Souls' Day, of
course. MM was a devout Catholic IIRC.

DS2's day care is owned by a Muslim woman. Last year the day care celebrated
Chinese New Year, Easter, Christmas and Eid, mainly in craft activities. No
doubt if a Hindu child comes in this year, they will add Diwali.

Cool.


googles Fritos

Much better than tim tams or vegemite!! gdr

To us, my having grown up in Texas, Fritos are a staple - Frito Pie is a staple
main dish.


Junk food was banned from the first day-care DS1 went to (parents had to
provide their children's lunches). I must say that I'm not really thrilled
about the junky morning teas provided at DS2's current day care -- fairy bread
today. The lunches are fine, and they have fruit in the afternoon. (No pork
products, usually! At the Christmas celebration, each family brings in a dish
to share at the party, and as there are quite a few Chinese parents, that
means pork products!)


Yeah. See, I'm willing to put up with *some* of that stuff, it's all about
people trying to do the best by the kids, and responding to parent requests,
after all. These are usually not Bad Things. Just sometimes not quite so
golden and necessary as some think. So I'm willing to go along even where I
think it silly or unsubstantiated. But that Montessori school was way over the
line IMO. And inconsistent in my view. For example, they accepted
bread-and-jelly sandwiches as OK for lunches. Which, to me, is, what - all
simple sugars and starches and no protein but they can't have corn chips huh??

Banty (The Evul Halloween Lady)

Chookie wrote:
In article ,
Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Chookie wrote:

It sounds to me like parents are offered the "choice" of having their
personal
details circulated to complete strangers OR of running whole-class-size
parties -- and all at the say-so of the school. And people don't see this
as interfering in their personal lives?
While some might have it so, it really doesn't boil down
that way in my experience. It's true that if one isn't going to
invite the whole class, one should not use public means of
distributing invitations (like handing them out in class or
putting them in cubbies where it's obvious who gets one and who
doesn't). That ought to be true regardless of school policy.
It's simply not polite to make a show of who's invited and who's
not.

Well, I agree it's impolite to *make a show* -- hence DS1 quietly handed out
invitations as his friends were leaving school. That's not *making a show*.
There are plenty of kids and parents milling around, from all different
classes, and it wouldn't be easy to see who was handing out invitations. I
should mention that this is school, not preschool -- DS1 is 7yo.

At DS2's day care there are cubby-holes for the children's bedding, spare
clothes etc, but in the foyer there are pockets for parent communication. If
I wished to send an invitation, I would use the pockets.

Much of what constitutes "making a show" depends on the
particulars of the situation. If there is a discreet way to
communication, those schools are less likely to have policies
about passing out invitations. But by and large, if children
notice, then it's not discreet enough, and in many of the schools
mine have been in, there isn't any easy, discreet way to hand
out invitations at school. Therefore, it's more likely those
schools will have policies against such things.

Best wishes,
Ericka

On Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:53:01 +1000, Chookie
wrote:

Preschoolers and early graders *can* do this if it is allowed. With
preschoolers, a big *thing* is often to say *I'm not your friend and
you can't come to my birthday party,* though usually this doesn't last
long enough to become an invitation problem.

We went to very few, if any, pre-school parties. But I just can't picture it
at all. Perhaps my DSs move in unusual circles, but that stuff certainly
wasn't going on at pre-school age. Is this a girl thing?

Possibly more girls than boys, but I heard boys in our preschool
classes do this as well.

The first act of
exclusion was by a jealous female friend of DS1's, in Kindy. I would not say
it was a feature of DS1's friendships, as a rule, and he is 7 now. I should
also point out that the school puts a lot of effort into encouraging positive
relationships (not with tokenistic stuff like banning party invitations,
either) so perhaps that has something to do with it.

The schools I taught in discouraged this and worked on positive
relationships, not excluding others from play, etc. It still happened
though.

Usually, the kids would be mad at one another for a while and then
make up.




--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits