Toddler meltdown

My son is 19 months old and spends 3-4 days a week in daycare. I work
full time and his dad works a rotating shift, so he's home with our
son some days during the week. On the days he's at daycare, he's
unfortunately there for 10 hours, which is obviously a really long day
for him.

When we get home, I usually fix him a quick snack and talk/play with
him for a few minutes before starting dinner... but it seems no matter
what, he goes into meltdown mode very quickly. I try engaging him in
helping me with dinner (stirring, putting items in the pot, putting
things in the trash, etc), which works for a few minutes, but the
meltdown always happens... he ends up standing in the middle of the
room with crocodile tears and a snotty nose just screaming
inconsolably. He doesn't want me to hug or hold him and tells me
"shut up" when I try and usually tries to hit me.

Any ideas on how to make the transition from daycare to home any
easier on him? I've been back at work for almost 5 months now and
this started rather randomly about 2 months ago.

Kim

Hi Kim,
Maybe dinnertime could be changed? My first thought was 'Kim
needs a crockpot!'! And not just for your son's sake.... if I imagine
doing your day: get ready, drop off, work, pick-up, dinner... I want
to know where the 'relax' part comes in! If the relaxing doesn't
happen til after your boy is in bed, then it means he doesn't get to
enjoy it.
On workdays, if your time with your son mostly happens between
daycare pickup and bedtime, then why not have dinner later? Don't
just play with him for a few minutes when you get home... Come home
and focus on relaxing together for a while..give both of you a break!
Ate his age, a kid needs to feel some sense of control. Daycare is
awesome for alot of things (creative outlets, socializing, etc.), but
the structure of daycare doesn't do enough for a toddlers need to
explore being 'in charge'.
I bet if you came home and made the first 45 minutes 'his time',
and really played with him, you'd see a difference. And it really is
less work than starting dinner, haha..... you could just flop onto his
bed and engage him, ask him about his toys, chat with him, and snuggle
(if he is the kind that will stay still, haha)
Good luck

Kim wrote:

When we get home, I usually fix him a quick snack and talk/play with
him for a few minutes before starting dinner... but it seems no matter
what, he goes into meltdown mode very quickly.

What does he get for snack? Is it something
high sugar that has a quick blood sugar high
then blood sugar drop?

Or - the other idea of a crock pot dinner may
be a good thing to try.

-- Anita --

Kim wrote:
My son is 19 months old and spends 3-4 days a week in daycare. I work
full time and his dad works a rotating shift, so he's home with our
son some days during the week. On the days he's at daycare, he's
unfortunately there for 10 hours, which is obviously a really long day
for him.

When we get home, I usually fix him a quick snack and talk/play with
him for a few minutes before starting dinner... but it seems no matter
what, he goes into meltdown mode very quickly. I try engaging him in
helping me with dinner (stirring, putting items in the pot, putting
things in the trash, etc), which works for a few minutes, but the
meltdown always happens... he ends up standing in the middle of the
room with crocodile tears and a snotty nose just screaming
inconsolably. He doesn't want me to hug or hold him and tells me
"shut up" when I try and usually tries to hit me.

Any ideas on how to make the transition from daycare to home any
easier on him? I've been back at work for almost 5 months now and
this started rather randomly about 2 months ago.

My eldest was a similar age when he started having meltdowns like this.
It was nothing to do with daycare (he was at home with me). I never
found an adequete way of stopping them, but just wanted to let you know
you are not alone in the problem.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three