Neighbours kids

On Fri, 22 Aug 2003 18:11:37 +0200, Barbara Bomberger
wrote:


It has been woth every step. In most neighborhoods,
even with every mom home, some specific house
eventually becomes the kids home away from home.
I want it to be mine.

Barb

Yes, that was how I was too. I would much rather the kids
all be at my house than anywhere else and it meant that
I was privy to the information about what was happening
because the kids hung around and even slept on my
living room floor sometimes as teens.




--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..
Outer Limits

In article ,
"Gill" wrote:

I have an only child aged 6. recently she has started playing with the
neighbours kids. The problem is they seem to spend all of their time at our
house as the other Mums don't seem to want a bunch of kids at their house. I
don't mind 3 or 4 times a week for a couple of hours a day, but sometimes
the kids want to come over all day, every day, and constantly knock, even if
I have told them 10 minutes before DD isn't playing. When I send the kids
home my DD gets upset as she wants to play. I feel like I am some kind of
unpaid babysitter.

Also a 10 yr old girl my DD plays with has started bringing her 14 yr old
brother over. Now I don't mind the 10 yr old here, but I don't want a 14 yr
old boy in the house. he is no trouble, but I just don't think its
appropriate. How do I explain to DD and the boy and his sister that the boy
is not welcome here, without causing a row.

Please help!



As others have said, my own preference would be to have all the kids at
my house, anyway.

As far as the 14 yo goes -- it could be a problem, or he could just be
bored and looking for something new. How about trying to befriend him,
and engage his assistance in entertaining the younger kids/cleaning up,
etc? I find that kids this age are often fascinating friends -- you can
learn a lot about what your own kids will be facing soon, about the
local neighborhood, and might serve as a source of comfort or support
for a lonely kid, or just a mentor for a normal 14 yo.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

"Gill" wrote

Also a 10 yr old girl my DD plays with has started bringing her 14 yr old
brother over. Now I don't mind the 10 yr old here, but I don't want a 14 yr
old boy in the house. he is no trouble, but I just don't think its
appropriate. How do I explain to DD and the boy and his sister that the boy
is not welcome here, without causing a row.

What does the boy do when he's there? I have a lot of teenage neices
and nephews and some, though not all -- both boys and girls -- seem
to get a pretty big kick out of playing with my little ones. I think
that many 14 YOs, esp. boys, are often still little kids at heart. If
he is a nice normal boy, which you haven't said anything to
contradict, he may be thinking it's fun to play with a little kid but
I doubt he would want to come over much for long. If he's really good
with her, I'd consider him babysitting material!

Even though I do not share everyone else's assumption that the kid's
either weird or desperate, I do sympathize with the fact that a 14 YO
in the house (girl or boy) makes for a different occasion than having
another 6 YO over. We know a big family of girls and sometimes one of
the older ones does ask to come along with her little sister to play
with my 5 YO DD. It's actually really nice for everyone, but I tend to
feel I have to clean up a bit more and stuff like that.

What I might do is ask the kids -- both -- to call before coming over.
You could say it's because your DD gets upset when you turn them away.
That way, when they call, if you don;'t want eiethr, then you say no
and there's no tantrum. if you want only the younger child, you can
say, e.g., "I'm not up for a bigger gathering; why doesn't Sue just
come over alone today and we'll have John come over some other time?"

However, if the boy appears problematic in any way, then of course
other steps would be necessary.

"Brandy Kurtz" wrote in message
om...
"Gill" wrote in message
...
I have an only child aged 6. recently she has started playing with the
neighbours kids. The problem is they seem to spend all of their time at
our
house as the other Mums don't seem to want a bunch of kids at their
house. I
don't mind 3 or 4 times a week for a couple of hours a day, but
sometimes
the kids want to come over all day, every day, and constantly knock,
even if
I have told them 10 minutes before DD isn't playing. When I send the
kids
home my DD gets upset as she wants to play. I feel like I am some kind
of
unpaid babysitter.

Also a 10 yr old girl my DD plays with has started bringing her 14 yr
old
brother over. Now I don't mind the 10 yr old here, but I don't want a 14
yr
old boy in the house. he is no trouble, but I just don't think its
appropriate. How do I explain to DD and the boy and his sister that the
boy
is not welcome here, without causing a row.

Please help!

Ugh, I am in the same boat as you are. When I tell this one cetain boy
that the kids can't play yet, he will go in our backyard and play on
the swingsett until I get sick of him knocking and just make them go
out. It drives me bonkers. The other night he was here until 10 pm,
and his parents didn't care. He starts knocking at 9 am, and if I let
him in, he will be here until my kids bedtime, it drives me nuts! So I
am going to listen to the suggestions right along with you...

Brandy

Brandy

it sounds as though he's not getting any attention at home and has found a
great person in you. you might be a great influence in his life?
--
Edith
oht nak

"Barbara Bomberger" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 21 Aug 2003 21:27:25 GMT, (ivler) wrote:



Speak with the parents. Set up some rules and make them well known.

1) I am not a babysitting or childcare facility
2) Equal time. Your child spends X hours at my home, my child can
spend X hours at yours
3) Please call to get permission before coming over to play

We use this in my neighborhood. Today my daughter asked if she could
go over to play with the neighbor. I called the neighbor and said, "my
daughter wants to play with yours, our place or yours, what time?"

As long as the other parent is just as willing to accept as to give,
it works.
While I appreciate some of your remarks, and you have made some good
points, I have to present the opposite view here.

I WANT my kids and their friends at MY house. This enables me to know
what is going on with them and their friends, makes me the mom that
hears everything th at is going on in the neighborhood, and enables me
to always know where my kids are.

I do have older children, however this started when my kids were
beginning elementary school.

We do have certain times that my kids can play, and chores, shopping
and errands and so on have to be done.

Afterthat, I welcome all.

This means that with children grown to ninth grade, my house still is
the center of whatever is going on ( I believe this is a good thing).
conversations often go on around me and despite me (or so they
sometimes think).

Does mean that it is sometime chaotic in my house? Yes, but we do
have some basic house rules (I am not the maid for twenty kids). Does
it mean that its often noisy and I sometimes feed twice my familes
size? Absolutely.

It has been woth every step. In most neighborhoods, even with every
mom home, some specific house eventually becomes the kids home away
from home. I want it to be mine.

Barb

I'm hoping that will be our house too
--
Edith
oht nak