Not sure if this is the right place but please help

Im about to be a father of a child who is not mine, but I think of her as my
own. There is just one problem. My girlfriends ex boyfriend who is the
biological father is a dead beat who has a record of child abuse and domestic
violence. my girlfriend feels that her baby should have no part in his life
because Of his record and how he treated her when they were together. We
would like to have it where she has full custody. So my question is what are
her right? She wasn't married to the guy (fyi)

On Oct 30, 11:34?pm, "JamesMMattmann" u38694@uwe wrote:
Im about to be a father of a child who is not mine, but I think of her as my
own. There is just one problem. My girlfriends ex boyfriend who is the
biological father is a dead beat who has a record of child abuse and domestic
violence. my girlfriend feels that her baby should have no part in his life
because Of his record and how he treated her when they were together. We
would like to have it where she has full custody. So my question is what are
her right? She wasn't married to the guy (fyi)

I don't know what state you are in, or even country, but in my country
and state, you can ask the biological father (or mother for that
matter) to give up his parental rights (via signature), but you'll
need an attorney to navigate that legally to make it binding. Some
deadbeat dads jump at that chance so they don't have to pay child
support, and others like to play games at the expense of the child,
despite not paying child support anyway, etc. Just because he has a
history of anything doesn't mean a judge won't give him a chance to
prove he has changed, which is very rare. It would come down to a he
said she said thing. Sometimes even the deadbeat's parents
(grandparents of the children) get selfishly involved, being unable to
admit it would be better for the child to not have contact with their
child as a parent to it because THEY want to know the child throughout
life. What they don't know is that grandparents have rights separately
from parents, but they just keep at that deadbeat parent to fight for
THEIR rights so THEY can have access. Good luck with it all.

"JamesMMattmann" u38694@uwe wrote in message news:7a7e939fcb05d@uwe...
Im about to be a father of a child who is not mine, but I think of her as
my
own. There is just one problem. My girlfriends ex boyfriend who is the
biological father is a dead beat who has a record of child abuse and
domestic
violence. my girlfriend feels that her baby should have no part in his
life
because Of his record and how he treated her when they were together. We
would like to have it where she has full custody. So my question is what
are
her right? She wasn't married to the guy (fyi)

She needs to consult a lawyer.

In article pqZVi.6834$MW.2080@trndny05, deja.blues says...


"JamesMMattmann" u38694@uwe wrote in message news:7a7e939fcb05d@uwe...
Im about to be a father of a child who is not mine, but I think of her as
my
own. There is just one problem. My girlfriends ex boyfriend who is the
biological father is a dead beat who has a record of child abuse and
domestic
violence. my girlfriend feels that her baby should have no part in his
life
because Of his record and how he treated her when they were together. We
would like to have it where she has full custody. So my question is what
are
her right? She wasn't married to the guy (fyi)

She needs to consult a lawyer.



Yes, exactly.

I don't know of any US jurisdiction that allow bio parents to sign away rights,
unless the child is formally adopted by the stepfather. Marriage between the
mother and her boyfriend would need to take place first.

And I could be wrong (though that's my understanding) - what's needed here is a
consultation with a lawyer familliar with the family law of her jurisdiction.

Banty

Chris wrote:
Im about to be a father of a child who is not mine, but I think of her as my
own. There is just one problem. My girlfriends ex boyfriend who is the
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
would like to have it where she has full custody. So my question is what are
her right? She wasn't married to the guy (fyi)

I don't know what state you are in, or even country, but in my country
and state, you can ask the biological father (or mother for that
matter) to give up his parental rights (via signature), but you'll
need an attorney to navigate that legally to make it binding. Some
deadbeat dads jump at that chance so they don't have to pay child
support, and others like to play games at the expense of the child,
despite not paying child support anyway, etc. Just because he has a
history of anything doesn't mean a judge won't give him a chance to
prove he has changed, which is very rare. It would come down to a he
said she said thing. Sometimes even the deadbeat's parents
(grandparents of the children) get selfishly involved, being unable to
admit it would be better for the child to not have contact with their
child as a parent to it because THEY want to know the child throughout
life. What they don't know is that grandparents have rights separately
from parents, but they just keep at that deadbeat parent to fight for
THEIR rights so THEY can have access. Good luck with it all.


thank you very much

--
Message posted via FamilyKB.com
http://www.familykb.com/Uwe/Forums.a...nting/200710/1

deja.blues wrote:
Im about to be a father of a child who is not mine, but I think of her as
my
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
are
her right? She wasn't married to the guy (fyi)

She needs to consult a lawyer.


Is it true that lawyers do pro bono work on those kinds of cases.

--
Message posted via http://www.familykb.com

On Oct 31, 7:15?pm, "JamesMMattmann via FamilyKB.com" u38694@uwe
wrote:
deja.blues wrote:
Im about to be a father of a child who is not mine, but I think of her as
my
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
are
her right? She wasn't married to the guy (fyi)

She needs to consult a lawyer.

Is it true that lawyers do pro bono work on those kinds of cases.

--
Message posted viahttp://www.familykb.com


I'm not so sure they do, unless they have the potential for money in a
ruling in their favor, but you aren't going for money, you are going
for something else that involves no winning of money. I may be way off
here, but just thinking about cases in which I know were pro bono,
that would be the first difference.

On Oct 31, 7:15?pm, "JamesMMattmann via FamilyKB.com" u38694@uwe
wrote:
deja.blues wrote:
Im about to be a father of a child who is not mine, but I think of her as
my
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
are
her right? She wasn't married to the guy (fyi)

She needs to consult a lawyer.

Is it true that lawyers do pro bono work on those kinds of cases.

--
Message posted viahttp://www.familykb.com

You may get an initial free consult via telephone though.

If the Mom wants to sever the relationship between the
child and their father, that CAN and sometimes does
backfire so badly that the MAN gets primary custody.

It should not be about the mother's DESIRE or convenience,
it should be about the well being of the child.

Unless the Dad has a really bad and recent criminal
record, it's partly the Mom's DUTY to facilitate
the child's relationship with the Dad.

Failing to facilitate that, in any way can
go very badly for the Mom.

If you marry her to be a stepdad, even you
would have some duty to facilitate the
childs relationship with their Dad.

Badmouthing the Dad to the child is
really a big no-no.

Similarly, if the Mom wants to throw away the
child's entitlement to CHILD SUPPORT, this
could be said to demonstrate a failure to
fend for the child's interests.

Since the child isn't even born yet, the Dad
can't possibly have failed as a parent yet.

How bad is his criminal record?

You have seen the cliche' where the woman
actually BELIEVES that her married boyfriend
is going to dump his family FOR HER, right?

Sometimes they even do, but USUALLY
it's a BS line right?

Your pregnant girlfriend might be telling you
what you want to hear similarly filling you with BS.

Think about it, the other boyfriend was a bad guy?
But she boinked him!

She wants to cut him off FOR YOU?

Don't be too very amazed if they work it out
because now they have a child together,
even if that's NOT what you want to hear!

Don't be too hard on her for that!
It's natural!

This is all why you've gotta be more careful
about who ya boink and protection!

It's NOT a puppy.

Like somebody else answered, there are issues
about relatives, grandparents, aunts, uncles,
and cousins that this child will be entitled to
even if it makes the Mom uncomfortable to
confront the guy she once boinked.

Did you think it was ORIGINAL or novel
for a woman to bad mouth an ex?

How bad is the Dad's criminal record and
how recent? It's gotta be REALLY REALLY BAD
to play the kind of game the Mom would like!

If you've got BIG BUCKS you might be able to
get a lawyer to run with this, just to empty
the money pot.

Perhaps you should realistically consider
telling the MOM to get back together with
the Dad. FORGET the romantic promises.
Baby will be the center of the universe.

You're really young aren't you?