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desparate!! tired, stressed, (not) ready to wean 4 month old, please help
hi all,
i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. i can't do it any more. my breasts get sore, my back hurts, and i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if i let her pacify for a couple hours at a time, i get cramps. all in all, i'm not happy. i really wanted to nurse for at least 1 year, but i can't continue like this. last night she didn't sleep well, even attached. seems like she wanted to eat all night, but nothing would come. so she yanked and pushed on my breast what seemed all night. we switched sides a few times, but to no avail. the kicker is that she won't take a bottle. only tried 3 times, including once this morning. she just cries (and gags). i don't really want to wean yet, but i'm not getting any sleep, nor is my husband. and now with her tossing and turning all night, neither is she. she used to get up only once, then twice. then she wanted to sleep with us, then be attached, now she wants food. one can only go so far. i just want her to sleep. i've got two other kids, 3 yrs and 18 mnths, so i've can't sleep during the day. this is killing me. . . please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! thanks in advance!! teresa |
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desparate!! tired, stressed, (not) ready to wean 4 month old, please help
In article dC%Bb.277$hf1.275@lakeread06,
"Teresa" wrote: hi all, i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. i can't do it any more. my breasts get sore, my back hurts, and i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if i let her pacify for a couple hours at a time, i get cramps. all in all, i'm not happy. i really wanted to nurse for at least 1 year, but i can't continue like this. last night she didn't sleep well, even attached. seems like she wanted to eat all night, but nothing would come. so she yanked and pushed on my breast what seemed all night. we switched sides a few times, but to no avail. the kicker is that she won't take a bottle. only tried 3 times, including once this morning. she just cries (and gags). i don't really want to wean yet, but i'm not getting any sleep, nor is my husband. and now with her tossing and turning all night, neither is she. she used to get up only once, then twice. then she wanted to sleep with us, then be attached, now she wants food. one can only go so far. i just want her to sleep. i've got two other kids, 3 yrs and 18 mnths, so i've can't sleep during the day. this is killing me. . . please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! thanks in advance!! teresa There's no reason at all that you should wean! But you can teach your daughter not to be attached all night. I nursed DS until he was 18 months old, but he slept in his crib, and I never let him use me as a pacifier. At 4 months, I still nursed him a couple times a night, but in between he slept. Have you tried a pacifier? We used one a lot at that age, especially to help DS sleep. You want her to learn to sleep in her crib. And sleep without nursing all night long. That's very possible, but it'll take some work, since she'll have to get used to a lot of changes. In the long run I think it will be well worth it. I recommend looking at Ferber "Solving your child's sleep problems." Or see the recent posting on the topic: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm...40newshog.news read.com Even though Ferber has more advice once the baby is 5 or 6 months, he has some good basic advice about establishing a routine, and developing good sleep associations. Right now your daughter associates sleep with your nipple and food. You need to help her learn to sleep without your nipple, so expect some fussiness while she learns to adjust. Of course she'll cry - she's used to the nipple. But you can gently help her to adjust to a new way. Establish a regular bedtime routine, but after nursing, try to put her in her crib awake but sleepy. Pat her, rock her, hold her, but then put her down to sleep. If she cries, give it a few minutes to see if she'll fall asleep on her own, then go back to patting, rocking, holding, calming, and then put her down again. Give her a pacifier if she'll take it, this can help a lot. For me it helped a lot if my husband comforted the baby at night, because the baby didn't have the same nursing associations with him, and would calm more easily. Around 4 or 5 months, we also introduced a lovey - I noticed that DS really seemed to like a particular soft cotton blanket, so I started putting it in with him every time he slept. He'd hug it and roll into it. That helped too. And I don't know what you do for naps, but don't let her nap at the breast either. It's so sweet as infants that they fall asleep at the breast, but I think in the long run disassociating eating and sleeping is a good thing. - lynn p.s. the issue of "she won't take a bottle" is separate. Lots of people can give you advice about that, too, but for now I'd say just work on a nursing routine so that she only nurses at times that you want her to eat, and find other ways of comforting and helping her sleep. |
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desparate!! tired, stressed, (not) ready to wean 4 month old, please help
"Teresa" wrote in message news:dC%Bb.277$hf1.275@lakeread06... hi all, i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. i can't do it any more. my breasts get sore, my back hurts, and i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if i let her pacify for a couple hours at a time, i get cramps. all in all, i'm not happy. i really wanted to nurse for at least 1 year, but i can't continue like this. last night she didn't sleep well, even attached. seems like she wanted to eat all night, but nothing would come. so she yanked and pushed on my breast what seemed all night. we switched sides a few times, but to no avail. the kicker is that she won't take a bottle. only tried 3 times, including once this morning. she just cries (and gags). i don't really want to wean yet, but i'm not getting any sleep, nor is my husband. and now with her tossing and turning all night, neither is she. she used to get up only once, then twice. then she wanted to sleep with us, then be attached, now she wants food. one can only go so far. i just want her to sleep. i've got two other kids, 3 yrs and 18 mnths, so i've can't sleep during the day. this is killing me. . . please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! thanks in advance!! teresa Go to the library and pick up a copy of the "No Cry Sleep Solution." Since you are cosleeping, you may get more mileage out of it than the book I sometimes point to called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem, for which your dd is too young anyway. My disclaimer is that I cannot personally recommend this book, only that others have commented on it being helpful. I think that your child has an issue with SLEEP not nursing. There is no reason I can think of that you should need to ween. S S |
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desparate!! tired, stressed, (not) ready to wean 4 month old, please help
"Teresa" wrote in message news:dC%Bb.277$hf1.275@lakeread06... hi all, i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. i can't do it any more. my breasts get sore, my back hurts, and i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if i let her pacify for a couple hours at a time, i get cramps. all in all, i'm not happy. i really wanted to nurse for at least 1 year, but i can't continue like this. last night she didn't sleep well, even attached. seems like she wanted to eat all night, but nothing would come. so she yanked and pushed on my breast what seemed all night. we switched sides a few times, but to no avail. the kicker is that she won't take a bottle. only tried 3 times, including once this morning. she just cries (and gags). i don't really want to wean yet, but i'm not getting any sleep, nor is my husband. and now with her tossing and turning all night, neither is she. she used to get up only once, then twice. then she wanted to sleep with us, then be attached, now she wants food. one can only go so far. i just want her to sleep. i've got two other kids, 3 yrs and 18 mnths, so i've can't sleep during the day. this is killing me. . . please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! thanks in advance!! teresa I'd try a pacifier and letting her sleep with you, then gradually getting her OUT of your bed. |
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desparate!! tired, stressed, (not) ready to wean 4 month old, please help
Teresa was all, like:
hi all, i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. [...] Sprogly was using me as a pacifier, and I was feeling much the same way about it, so I started using a pacifier with him, though I hadn't planned on using one. He just likes to suck, even when he's not hungry. I'll pop one in his mouth once he starts the whole pulling thing. If he's actually hungry, he'll let me know, and will reject the pacifier. [...] please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! We co-sleep, so can't help you there. Although--last night a strange thing happened. I was tired (I work full-time), and he just wouldn't settle. Every time I lay down with him, he fidgeted and flailed around. He was agitated, and yet I knew he was tired. He didn't really want to nurse, didn't want to be rocked, and I was *so* tired. I could feel myself getting frustrated, so I set him down on the bed with his pacifier and went to the computer, thinking, I just need a minute...he lay there for a while making little, not-quite-fussy noises, and then fell asleep. Go figure. I lay down next to him and went to sleep myself. -- z e l d a b e e @ p a n i x . c o m http://NewsReader.Com/ |
#6
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desparate!! tired, stressed, (not) ready to wean 4 month old, please help
If this is a really new behavior, I think it will pass. It sounds
alot like a growth spurt because of the way you described her as being hungry but the food not coming (growth spurts sure seem like that to me), but 4 months is not a common time for that, although sometimes babies have them randomly. She could not feel well and want the comfort. Search for sources of discomfort like ear infections or teething that you could fix for her. Good luck, KC "Teresa" wrote in message news:dC%Bb.277$hf1.275@lakeread06... hi all, i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. i can't do it any more. my breasts get sore, my back hurts, and i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if i let her pacify for a couple hours at a time, i get cramps. all in all, i'm not happy. i really wanted to nurse for at least 1 year, but i can't continue like this. last night she didn't sleep well, even attached. seems like she wanted to eat all night, but nothing would come. so she yanked and pushed on my breast what seemed all night. we switched sides a few times, but to no avail. the kicker is that she won't take a bottle. only tried 3 times, including once this morning. she just cries (and gags). i don't really want to wean yet, but i'm not getting any sleep, nor is my husband. and now with her tossing and turning all night, neither is she. she used to get up only once, then twice. then she wanted to sleep with us, then be attached, now she wants food. one can only go so far. i just want her to sleep. i've got two other kids, 3 yrs and 18 mnths, so i've can't sleep during the day. this is killing me. . . please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! thanks in advance!! teresa |
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desparate!! tired, stressed, (not) ready to wean 4 month old, please help
"Stephanie and Tim" wrote in message ... "Teresa" wrote in message news:dC%Bb.277$hf1.275@lakeread06... hi all, i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. i can't do it any more. my breasts get sore, my back hurts, and i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if i let her pacify for a couple hours at a time, i get cramps. all in all, i'm not happy. i really wanted to nurse for at least 1 year, but i can't continue like this. last night she didn't sleep well, even attached. seems like she wanted to eat all night, but nothing would come. so she yanked and pushed on my breast what seemed all night. we switched sides a few times, but to no avail. the kicker is that she won't take a bottle. only tried 3 times, including once this morning. she just cries (and gags). i don't really want to wean yet, but i'm not getting any sleep, nor is my husband. and now with her tossing and turning all night, neither is she. she used to get up only once, then twice. then she wanted to sleep with us, then be attached, now she wants food. one can only go so far. i just want her to sleep. i've got two other kids, 3 yrs and 18 mnths, so i've can't sleep during the day. this is killing me. . . please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! thanks in advance!! teresa Go to the library and pick up a copy of the "No Cry Sleep Solution." Since you are cosleeping, you may get more mileage out of it than the book I sometimes point to called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem, for which your dd is too young anyway. My disclaimer is that I cannot personally recommend this book, only that others have commented on it being helpful. I think that your child has an issue with SLEEP not nursing. There is no reason I can think of that you should need to ween. S S Sorry I missed the part of the post that talks about her own bed. If it were me, I would go to the library and get the 2 books mentioned so far and any others they have on the subject and read them to see if either offers a workable solution. As a matter of fact, that IS what I did in your shoes a few years ago. I read Dr. Sears Nighttime Parenting. IIRC, there was basically nothing about this sort of thing except -- hey this is your job, suck it up. I am not a terrific fan of Dr. Sears. Something about him just rubs me the wrong way, even though he can have some good advice. So maybe others will tell me I am full of horse pucky. I read also Dr. Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. I was unaware of the No Cry Sleep Solution at that time. S |
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desparate!! tired, stressed, (not) ready to wean 4 month old, please help
thanks so much for your advice. so far she hasn't taken to the pacifier, but
i'll keep trying. . . my 1st din't, 2nd did (now a thumb sucker). anyhow, it sounds like you and i are very similar. (not a huge fan of sears either, though i know it works for a lot of people.) i haven't heard about the No Cry Sleep Solution, so i'm anxious to learn more. thanks again, teresa "Stephanie and Tim" wrote in message ... "Stephanie and Tim" wrote in message ... "Teresa" wrote in message news:dC%Bb.277$hf1.275@lakeread06... hi all, i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. i can't do it any more. my breasts get sore, my back hurts, and i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if i let her pacify for a couple hours at a time, i get cramps. all in all, i'm not happy. i really wanted to nurse for at least 1 year, but i can't continue like this. last night she didn't sleep well, even attached. seems like she wanted to eat all night, but nothing would come. so she yanked and pushed on my breast what seemed all night. we switched sides a few times, but to no avail. the kicker is that she won't take a bottle. only tried 3 times, including once this morning. she just cries (and gags). i don't really want to wean yet, but i'm not getting any sleep, nor is my husband. and now with her tossing and turning all night, neither is she. she used to get up only once, then twice. then she wanted to sleep with us, then be attached, now she wants food. one can only go so far. i just want her to sleep. i've got two other kids, 3 yrs and 18 mnths, so i've can't sleep during the day. this is killing me. . . please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! thanks in advance!! teresa Go to the library and pick up a copy of the "No Cry Sleep Solution." Since you are cosleeping, you may get more mileage out of it than the book I sometimes point to called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem, for which your dd is too young anyway. My disclaimer is that I cannot personally recommend this book, only that others have commented on it being helpful. I think that your child has an issue with SLEEP not nursing. There is no reason I can think of that you should need to ween. S S Sorry I missed the part of the post that talks about her own bed. If it were me, I would go to the library and get the 2 books mentioned so far and any others they have on the subject and read them to see if either offers a workable solution. As a matter of fact, that IS what I did in your shoes a few years ago. I read Dr. Sears Nighttime Parenting. IIRC, there was basically nothing about this sort of thing except -- hey this is your job, suck it up. I am not a terrific fan of Dr. Sears. Something about him just rubs me the wrong way, even though he can have some good advice. So maybe others will tell me I am full of horse pucky. I read also Dr. Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. I was unaware of the No Cry Sleep Solution at that time. S |
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thanks everyone for your input
thanks all, it's great to feel like i've got some support. you have all been
great. a lot of my questions have been posted by others. this is such a wonderful newsgroup and you are all very supportive. thanks, teresa "Teresa" wrote in message news:dC%Bb.277$hf1.275@lakeread06... hi all, i've only posted once, but lurked here since dd was born in aug. you all have had great input for me!! here's my problem: dd won't sleep at night unless she is attached, using me as a pacifier. i can't do it any more. my breasts get sore, my back hurts, and i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if i let her pacify for a couple hours at a time, i get cramps. all in all, i'm not happy. i really wanted to nurse for at least 1 year, but i can't continue like this. last night she didn't sleep well, even attached. seems like she wanted to eat all night, but nothing would come. so she yanked and pushed on my breast what seemed all night. we switched sides a few times, but to no avail. the kicker is that she won't take a bottle. only tried 3 times, including once this morning. she just cries (and gags). i don't really want to wean yet, but i'm not getting any sleep, nor is my husband. and now with her tossing and turning all night, neither is she. she used to get up only once, then twice. then she wanted to sleep with us, then be attached, now she wants food. one can only go so far. i just want her to sleep. i've got two other kids, 3 yrs and 18 mnths, so i've can't sleep during the day. this is killing me. . . please, does anyone have advice on how to get her to sleep at night, preferably in her bed?! thanks in advance!! teresa |
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