Fight with a friend

"AlenasMom" wrote in message
.rogers.com...
Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
when is a ten month old a toddler????)



mine was... as pointless to your message as that is...

during the wedding!
I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows,
but
I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
hours long! She's mad at this!

The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.


good for you.

I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing.

But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
generations. (Not all true at all.)

Any advice???


grit your teeth for the sake of the bride then hope you never see her again


--
Lina
Alena born July 1st, 2003
www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
validate the email address before sending.

chris writes:

: Whoa! Formula feeding can help lead to Ulcerative Colitis????

I have seen some work on gluten sensitivity, and it may seem that the
WAY you wean is AS important as WHEN you wean for this particular
problem.

What I have seen suggests that there needs to be a good long period
after the introduction of the gluten containing foods before breastmilk
is removed. Of course, with extended feeders this is probably not
a problem, but for early weaners, what this means is that you should
start gluten containing foods and continue them for several months
before removing breastmilk.

Folks, nature didn't just design this feeding method by accident!

Larry

"teapot" wrote in message
om...
Larry McMahan wrote in message
...
AlenasMom writes:
: Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of
her
: bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about
everything.
: All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about
how
: my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was
because
: I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

: She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in
a
: voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
: subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
: that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

: I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to
wean
: herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into
another
: room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
: hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be
in
: the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler
(since
: when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
: I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their
vows, but
: I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is
6
: hours long! She's mad at this!

: The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in
the
: bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could
mind
: her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
: bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.

: I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
: breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that
my
: bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing.

: But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and
I
: just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting
and
: shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never
nurse
: because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of
our
: generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
: generations. (Not all true at all.)

: Any advice???

Yes. Stand right in front of the witch every time you have to nurse.

Sigh,
Larry

and do it NAKED!

Waaaaalll, now, I wouldn't go *that* far. One's DH may enjoy the sight, but
for those of us who didn't even look seventeen when we were seventeen....

--angela

Wow Karlee, What a great post. Its a complete and perfect response to
idiotic comments about a mother's right to bf her child and a child's right
to be bf!
I'm officially asking if I can save a copy of your letter for the purposes
of resending to anyone I come across (irl) who needs to pull their head in
bf.

Now that DD is almost 16 mo I've started getting the comments about "are you
going to bf her at uni??" ... I usually respond with "well if she's still
bf at that age, she'll probably also be still sleeping in our bed so it
won't be much of an effort to roll over and give her a feed, but I'm
assuming she'll have decided to give up by then" ... and usually refrain
from adding "you moron" but always think it.

Amanda
Who apologises for top posting but who just couldn't snip this.....


"Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
...

Ok. Thats IT. Hand over the email address so she can get the buttwhoopin
she deserves. If you aren't willing to hand it over, feel free to forward
this rant to her, because it is directed at her.


Excuse me, but I think that you missed the train to your home planet. On
*this* planet BOOBS are put on our bodies to FEED CHILDREN. On YOUR planet
they are obviously there for decoration. On our planet mammals have
breasts with which to feed their offspring. On homosapiens they are caled
Breasts, on bovines they are Udders, and most other mammals they are
called
teats. You can call them whatever you want....knockers, boom booms,
"personality", hooters, tits, boobs, boobies, bresticles, whatever. Some
are big, some are little. Some are perky, some are droopy. Most are
natural, and some are plastic. Some are pink, some are brown, and some
are
in shades between pink and brown. Some nipples are big, some are small,
some are flat, some are pointy, and some are even "innies". What you call
them, and what they look like, has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on their intended
useage. LOTS and I mean LOTS of women in this country USE them TO FEED
THEIR CHILDREN. In many many many other contries, bottles and formula are
unheard of. In that case, how do you think that the babies get fed?
Osmosis maybe? Mainstream media has turned breasts into big money makers.
Huge money makers. A lot of men (not all but quite a few) think that
breasts are there for their entertainment. Well they might be fun to play
with, but that is not their primary function. Their primary function is
to
FEED CHILDREN. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that a
woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of **1 YEAR** or until weaning is
mutually agreed upon by mother and child. The World Health Organization
recommends that a woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of *2YEARS* or
until weaning is mutually agreed upon by mother and child. Key words in
both of these recommendations is MOTHER AND CHILD. Nowhere in those
studies do I see the phrase "or until weaning is mutually agreed upon by
mother, child, and nosy stuckup rude selfish BITCH." The AAP and WHO have
done many many studies on the benefits of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding
has
been determined to make a child healthier, help the child ward off
infections, and raise a child's IQ level. It is a proven fact that
breastfed babies are happier, healthier, more adjusted, more mellow little
kids and adults than formula fed babies are. Humans need to be touched.
It is hard to intimately touch a baby in the ways that it needs to be
touched to bolster its psychological health when you are bottle feeding
it.
It is recommended that an infant have skin to skin contact with its
mother.
It reduces stress in the child, reduces blood pressure, and comforts a
baby
in ways that words fail to describe. The easiest way to give your baby
skin
to skin contact on a regular, frequent basis is through breastfeeding. You
said that you "were healthy" and you had been bottle fed. Apparently,
MANNERS were not included as one of the ingredients in your formula
feedings, because you are seriously lacking in that respect. It is NONE
of
your business if Lina chooses to breastfeed her baby until the child is 80
years old if she so desires. It is NOT YOUR PLACE to tell Lina that she
shouldn't breastfeed her child as long as she wants to. It is NOT YOUR
PLACE to tell Lina that 10 months is "excessive" in length. Lets visit a
few other positive aspects of breastfeeding while we are here shall we?
Breastfeeding is good for mom too. It helps mom overcome some forms of
post partum depression. It helps mom drop weight that she gained while
she
was pregnant. It is cheaper and more convenient than bottle feeding.
With
bottles, you have to mix, adjust temperature, and wash the bottles. While
you are mixing the formula baby is screaming to be fed, raising its
temperature and blood pressure, and thusly the child is harder to calm
when
the bottle is ready. While you are breastfeeding, the baby will start to
show various signs of hunger, so you pick the child up, pop a tit out of
your shirt and feed the baby. No one gets so angry that they pop a vein
in
their forehead, no ones blood pressure goes up, and no one is screaming
bloody murder because it takes less than half the time to start nursing
than it does to prepare a bottle.

When I first started this I was angry. Now I want to cry for you and any
kids you may have. You will never feel how strong a bond between mother
and child can be. You will never benefit from the act itself
(breastfeeding has been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer). You
will probably wind up to be a bottle proper-upper that ignores their baby
instead of taking time out of your busy day to cuddle and love him/her.
You will never have the most cherished and intimate moments of your life.
You will never see a sweet little face looking up at you with big eyes and
a grin from ear to ear and know that you are giving your child the most
pure nourishment that it can have. The act of breastfeeding is not
derogatory to women, it is empowering. The act of breastfeeding is not
"animalistic" in a bad way, you too, are an animal. The act of
breastfeeding is loving, kind, nurturing. If you want derogatory, I'd be
happy to show you to the nearest strip joint and have you reevaluate your
thoughts on breastfeeding. If you so choose to take the "animalistic"
point of view, I would very much like to hear your thoughts on sex. Yes
sex.

So take your pompous pedantic attitude and shove it. Go back to your
little perfect world where babies come out of their mommas fully dressed
and clean, and mommas feed the baby without touching and loving them while
jamming a bottle of nasty tasting crap down their throat. You go ahead
and
have whatever preconceptions you want to about breastfeeding. Go ahead
and
puke next time you see a mother breastfeeding and I bet she would hardly
give you a second glance because she is used to seeing vomit in all forms.
But while you are feeling ill at the thought, while you are sitting on
your
high horse of self righteousness, leave Lina and her decision to
breastfeed
her daughter alone. Keep your opinion to yourself. We might not change
your opinion on breastfeeding, but maybe we convince you that your opinion
won't get you anywhere. You aren't going to get her to stop breastfeeding
her daughter. Nothing that you say will change her mind. The only thing
that you will succeed in doing is to make yourself look like an ass, and
cement the thought that people have about you....the one that tells them
to
steer clear because you are nothing more than a self serving snob, and no
one likes to have them around.

"A&G&K" wrote in message
...
| Wow Karlee, What a great post. Its a complete and perfect response to
| idiotic comments about a mother's right to bf her child and a child's
right
| to be bf!
| I'm officially asking if I can save a copy of your letter for the
purposes
| of resending to anyone I come across (irl) who needs to pull their head
in
| bf.
|
| Now that DD is almost 16 mo I've started getting the comments about "are
you
| going to bf her at uni??" ... I usually respond with "well if she's
still
| bf at that age, she'll probably also be still sleeping in our bed so it
| won't be much of an effort to roll over and give her a feed, but I'm
| assuming she'll have decided to give up by then" ... and usually refrain
| from adding "you moron" but always think it.
|
| Amanda
| Who apologises for top posting but who just couldn't snip this.....


snipped own post

Feel free to use it as you see fit. g I do believe that you should add a
disclaimer to it if/when you send or show it to anyone though....the
disclaimer that states something along the lines that this is really how I
sound when I'm ranting to someone IRL. My rather "dry" personality causes
some to laugh, and some to realize that ****ing me off and getting on my
bad side was not the smartest thing that they have ever done. I got off
the phone with an old college friend of mine a little while ago...and I
read her the post. She sat there in stunned silence for a while, then said
"WOW Karlee, first, that is the best argument I've heard for bf in a long
time, second I bet whoever is on the receiving end of that is gonna think
twice before they try to cross you again!" She also added that if I posted
again, that I should warn you that honestly, I really do talk like that. I
throw in examples (however crude), and write like I am talking to you.
Sometimes I get in trouble with it, sometimes I am able to get my point
across with no misunderstandings.

As to the comment of "bf all the way to uni/college" I'd probably
retaliate with "uhhh, your business WHY???" BF will not harm my child. If
I am not harming my child in any way, shape, or form, then they need not
bother with it. Would they think differently if a bottle fed baby was
still being given a bottle at 16 months? 2 years? 3 years? Honestly.
Think about it. Hows this for an answer: "Are you planning on bottle
feeding them all the way to uni/college??" Answering a question with a
question of relative equal value has a tendency to shut people up. Hard to
talk when you are trying to wrap your brain around a profound question and
the ramifications of it. Next time I hear the "bottlefeeding is just as
good or better than bf" attempt at an argument, I'll offer up a taste test.
Their formula against my expressed milk. I know that I don't make my
family eat something I wouldn't. (Although I admit that I had to ff my
first....the pill dried me up, and I still am angry at myself for not
trying harder....can you forgive me???)

Anyway...you are welcome to use it. Use it with caution though, I know
that I used some rather harsh words, they were _indented_ to grab
attention, not offend (but I'm sure it did both with equal force), but at
the time, I was *very* angry at the fact that she continued to harass Lina
about it, I tend to be a little more forceful when a) defending a friend,
and b) dealing with the ignorant people that would rather BE ignorant than
learn and not be ignorant and in turn cross the line of manners and common
sense.

Hugs, and apologies to any that I may have offended.

Karlee in Kansas

"Common sense is the least common of all senses, and that is why you can
never underestimate the power of human stupidity" (don't know where I heard
it, so can't give proper credit. my most humble apologies offered)

"A&G&K" wrote in message
...

"Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
...
In the mean time, realize that
as angry as you are (ok we all are) you can't change anyone unless they
are
in diapers.
LOL
Oh man that just craked me up ... I've never heard it before (mind
if
I use it?)
Amanda

Not for the first time in my life I regret being a Dane - it is not possible
to translate into Danish, unfortunately.

Tine, Denmark

"AlenasMom" wrote in message et.cable.rogers.com...
"teapot" wrote in message
m...
"AlenasMom" wrote in message
e.rogers.com...
Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of
her
bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about
everything.
All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about
how
my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was
because
I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

snip

Oh pass me a ladder for my high horse, the womans an idiot! You did
so well not to deck her one!

I'm extremely annoyed on your behalf!

teapot

I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
she was in college.
I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what she
wants, then sure!

Oh oh oh - please let me know her email address - I want to ask her if
she is planning to give her kids formula when they are in their
trailer parks.

I've so enjoyed this thread, its brought out the bitch in me :-)

teapot

teapot wrote:

Oh oh oh - please let me know her email address - I want to ask her if
she is planning to give her kids formula when they are in their
trailer parks.

I've so enjoyed this thread, its brought out the bitch in me :-)

Bwa-ha-ha-ha ha!!!

Imagine this woman finding her inbox flooded with messages from mkb-ers.

--
Belphoebe

In article , Larry McMahan wrote:
What I have seen suggests that there needs to be a good long period
after the introduction of the gluten containing foods before breastmilk
is removed. Of course, with extended feeders this is probably not
a problem, but for early weaners, what this means is that you should
start gluten containing foods and continue them for several months
before removing breastmilk.

Just a quick addition - it looks like gluten sensitivity is
also reduced if gluten is fed in small amounts, rather than
in large amounts. They suspect that's why the "safest" introduction
period for gluten is 4-6 months, because the baby is taking
very small amounts.

Elaine

"Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
...

I really do talk like that. I
throw in examples (however crude), and write like I am talking to you.
Sometimes I get in trouble with it, sometimes I am able to get my point
across with no misunderstandings.


Maaate ... I'm an Aussie - its a learned skill to have to write "nicely" in
e-mails.

I have gotten in to *big trouble* at work when, via e-mail I (half jokingly)
swore at a computer guy (in a different town) and threatened to releive him
of his manhood if he ever touched my stuff again ( he had just informed me
that my PhD thesis was taking up too much space on the server so he had
kindly *deleted* it for me!!!!!! - I did have a backup which was lucky).
Luckily a friend of mine (also a computer dude at the org I worked for) told
me how unethical that was, but cc'd it to the offending idiot with comment
that when you delete someone's life work without so much as a by-your-leave,
then they can tend to be a little upset .....



As to the comment of "bf all the way to uni/college" I'd probably
retaliate with "uhhh, your business WHY???" BF will not harm my child.
If
I am not harming my child in any way, shape, or form, then they need not
bother with it. Would they think differently if a bottle fed baby was
still being given a bottle at 16 months? 2 years? 3 years? Honestly.
Think about it. Hows this for an answer: "Are you planning on bottle
feeding them all the way to uni/college??" Answering a question with a
question of relative equal value has a tendency to shut people up. Hard
to
talk when you are trying to wrap your brain around a profound question and
the ramifications of it. Next time I hear the "bottlefeeding is just as
good or better than bf" attempt at an argument, I'll offer up a taste
test.
Their formula against my expressed milk. I know that I don't make my
family eat something I wouldn't. (Although I admit that I had to ff my
first....the pill dried me up, and I still am angry at myself for not
trying harder....can you forgive me???)

(hey - I've forgiven my Mum for ff me after 3 mo ... when she was told she
was jeopardising my growth (she wasn't).


Anyway...you are welcome to use it. Use it with caution though, I know
that I used some rather harsh words, they were _indented_ to grab
attention, not offend (but I'm sure it did both with equal force), but at
the time, I was *very* angry at the fact that she continued to harass Lina
about it, I tend to be a little more forceful when a) defending a friend,
and b) dealing with the ignorant people that would rather BE ignorant than
learn and not be ignorant and in turn cross the line of manners and common
sense.


Point taken - It would certainly only be used on one particular person (in
an edited format) who thinks she is the knower-of-all-things-true (she
isn't) and who makes up crap arguments based on what she's heard in the
girls loo! (Did you know that there is no nutritional value in breastmilk
after 6 weeks pp???!!!!!!!arghhhh!!!) It just saves me the effort of having
to type it all in myself...

Hugs, and apologies to any that I may have offended.

No offence taken here.

Cheers
Amanda