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#21
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Shared Custody?
"dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 14, 10:02 am, "teachrmama" wrote: "dmr" wrote in message oups.com... I don't know how it works in the US, but here in Canada (Quebec to be more specific) some parents had found a way to save money on child support that I believe is unfair for the children. This is a true story: A man separated from his wife. They have 2 young children of 8 and 4 yrs old. The guy is General Manager at a Sherwin-Williams chemical coatings store and makes a pretty good salary. He has little time to spend with the children but giving full custody to the mother means he will have to pay full child support (Something like $1200.00 USD per month). So, his new girlfriend who's also separated and has shared custody, give him the idea: - Apply for shared custody and convince your ex-wife that it's the best things for the kids. Don't worries, if you don't have time to take care of them just leave them with me. The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce considerably the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother. Find the error! I'm not certain I understand your objection. The children spend equal amounts of time in each of their parents' homes. Both parents work to support their children, right? Both parents provide fortheir needs while the children are with them, right? And I bet the father still has to pay *some* amount of child support, right? BTW--how do you know the father did this *just* to save money? Did he tell you so? I have nothing to do with that guy, his ex or his actual girlfriend. Now let me understand. Let's say you were that guy: You would be ready to keep your kids away from their mother simply not to pay full child support? Do you care about how the child feels about that? But HOW do you know that that is the reason he wants shared custody? WHO gave you that piece of information? Is it part of the court record? How do you know that dad didn't go for shared custody so he could be a part of the life of his child? And why does being with mom have more importance that being with dad? As I said, I fail to understand your objection. Aren't both parents equally important? |
#22
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Shared Custody?
dmr wrote:
On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote: dmr wrote: Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices! We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments. But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS, right? Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time. I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from men to women wants to admit to that. - Ron ^*^ He would be expending as much money if instead of having his girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a daycare. As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries. I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations to have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the idea of someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money. Saving money is not some sort of evil motive here. All sorts of people attempt to save money for all sorts of reasons, even when it involves the kids. Let me give you an example: baby chairs. There are all sorts of baby chairs out there ranging from the cheap to the expensive. Now are you going to say that simply because somebody doesn't buy the most expensive brand out there that's a bad motivation? Of course not. As long as you are reasonably watching out for safety, I don't think you should be faulted for choosing out a medium-of-the-road baby chair. Now I will give this to you slightly: if somebody THINKS that just by doing shared custody they will save money, they are in for a world of hurt. Those expenses don't all just disappear. You do have shared expenses, but some of those increase and you do have sole expenses that you have to pay regardless. But as long as somebody is not endangering the child, they have the right to meet their obligations in their own way. I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot see myself without the children for too long. I refused two promotions because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with the kids. It has nothing to do with the money. It doesn't, and it may not be the entire reason for the father being discussed. You are assuming a lot here, and you know about assume here. Just because he has a financial motive doesn't mean that there aren't any others. But you better be careful with who you tell about those two promotions. If your ex gets wind and has a mind to do so, you may find yourself being imputed those promotions. Even if saving money is his only reason, and it isn't very nice, I don't know that Canada has made being a cheapskate illegal. |
#23
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Shared Custody?
"dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote: dmr wrote: Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices! We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments. But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS, right? Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time. I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from men to women wants to admit to that. - Ron ^*^ He would be expending as much money if instead of having his girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a daycare. As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries. I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations to have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the idea of someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money. I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot see myself without the children for too long. I refused two promotions because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with the kids. It has nothing to do with the money. How do you know that the saving of money was the only thing that dad and girlfriend talked about? Maybe dad had never heard of shared custody before, and now here was a chance to spend time with his kids. Did you get this story from a newpaper? Or from another person? How do you know that the motivations attributed to the man are the major reason he asked for shared custody? If you don;t even know these people, how on earth do you know that this is true? |
#24
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Shared Custody?
On May 14, 11:40 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote: dmr wrote: Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices! We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments. But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS, right? Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time. I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from men to women wants to admit to that. - Ron ^*^ He would be expending as much money if instead of having his girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a daycare. As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries. I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations to have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the idea of someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money. I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot see myself without the children for too long. I refused two promotions because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with the kids. It has nothing to do with the money. How do you know that the saving of money was the only thing that dad and girlfriend talked about? Maybe dad had never heard of shared custody before, and now here was a chance to spend time with his kids. Did you get this story from a newpaper? Or from another person? How do you know that the motivations attributed to the man are the major reason he asked for shared custody? If you don;t even know these people, how on earth do you know that this is true?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Listen, I know these people and I can ensure you money was the primary motive for the shared custody. However, after reading some replies to my initial post I realize it's maybe not as bad as I thought after all. Like John Meyer wrote: "...if somebody THINKS that just by doing shared custody they will save money, they are in for a world of hurt. " |
#25
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Shared Custody?
"dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 14, 11:40 pm, "teachrmama" wrote: "dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote: dmr wrote: Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices! We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments. But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS, right? Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time. I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from men to women wants to admit to that. - Ron ^*^ He would be expending as much money if instead of having his girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a daycare. As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries. I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations to have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the idea of someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money. I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot see myself without the children for too long. I refused two promotions because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with the kids. It has nothing to do with the money. How do you know that the saving of money was the only thing that dad and girlfriend talked about? Maybe dad had never heard of shared custody before, and now here was a chance to spend time with his kids. Did you get this story from a newpaper? Or from another person? How do you know that the motivations attributed to the man are the major reason he asked for shared custody? If you don;t even know these people, how on earth do you know that this is true?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Listen, I know these people and I can ensure you money was the primary motive for the shared custody. However, after reading some replies to my initial post I realize it's maybe not as bad as I thought after all. Like John Meyer wrote: "...if somebody THINKS that just by doing shared custody they will save money, they are in for a world of hurt. " You're not saying that you want him to be "in a world of hurt," are you? That would certainly cast some doubt on your motivations for posting this story. You say you know these people. Do you have a particular reason for disliking this man? |
#26
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Shared Custody?
On May 15, 12:38 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 14, 11:40 pm, "teachrmama" wrote: "dmr" wrote in message roups.com... On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote: dmr wrote: Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices! We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments. But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS, right? Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time. I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from men to women wants to admit to that. - Ron ^*^ He would be expending as much money if instead of having his girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a daycare. As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries. I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations to have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the idea of someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money. I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot see myself without the children for too long. I refused two promotions because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with the kids. It has nothing to do with the money. How do you know that the saving of money was the only thing that dad and girlfriend talked about? Maybe dad had never heard of shared custody before, and now here was a chance to spend time with his kids. Did you get this story from a newpaper? Or from another person? How do you know that the motivations attributed to the man are the major reason he asked for shared custody? If you don;t even know these people, how on earth do you know that this is true?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Listen, I know these people and I can ensure you money was the primary motive for the shared custody. However, after reading some replies to my initial post I realize it's maybe not as bad as I thought after all. Like John Meyer wrote: "...if somebody THINKS that just by doing shared custody they will save money, they are in for a world of hurt. " You're not saying that you want him to be "in a world of hurt," are you? That would certainly cast some doubt on your motivations for posting this story. You say you know these people. Do you have a particular reason for disliking this man?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Please, don't try to guess hidden motivations on people's postings. If I need a psychologist I will find one myself, capito? |
#27
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Shared Custody?
"dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 15, 12:38 am, "teachrmama" wrote: "dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 14, 11:40 pm, "teachrmama" wrote: "dmr" wrote in message roups.com... On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote: dmr wrote: Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices! We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments. But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS, right? Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time. I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from men to women wants to admit to that. - Ron ^*^ He would be expending as much money if instead of having his girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a daycare. As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries. I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations to have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the idea of someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money. I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot see myself without the children for too long. I refused two promotions because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with the kids. It has nothing to do with the money. How do you know that the saving of money was the only thing that dad and girlfriend talked about? Maybe dad had never heard of shared custody before, and now here was a chance to spend time with his kids. Did you get this story from a newpaper? Or from another person? How do you know that the motivations attributed to the man are the major reason he asked for shared custody? If you don;t even know these people, how on earth do you know that this is true?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Listen, I know these people and I can ensure you money was the primary motive for the shared custody. However, after reading some replies to my initial post I realize it's maybe not as bad as I thought after all. Like John Meyer wrote: "...if somebody THINKS that just by doing shared custody they will save money, they are in for a world of hurt. " You're not saying that you want him to be "in a world of hurt," are you? That would certainly cast some doubt on your motivations for posting this story. You say you know these people. Do you have a particular reason for disliking this man?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Please, don't try to guess hidden motivations on people's postings. If I need a psychologist I will find one myself, capito? You seem to be guessing at HIS motivations, and stating them as fact. What's with that? |
#28
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Shared Custody?
On May 15, 2:28 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message ups.com... On May 15, 12:38 am, "teachrmama" wrote: "dmr" wrote in message roups.com... On May 14, 11:40 pm, "teachrmama" wrote: "dmr" wrote in message roups.com... On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote: dmr wrote: Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices! We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments. But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS, right? Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time. I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from men to women wants to admit to that. - Ron ^*^ He would be expending as much money if instead of having his girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a daycare. As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries. I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations to have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the idea of someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money. I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot see myself without the children for too long. I refused two promotions because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with the kids. It has nothing to do with the money. How do you know that the saving of money was the only thing that dad and girlfriend talked about? Maybe dad had never heard of shared custody before, and now here was a chance to spend time with his kids. Did you get this story from a newpaper? Or from another person? How do you know that the motivations attributed to the man are the major reason he asked for shared custody? If you don;t even know these people, how on earth do you know that this is true?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Listen, I know these people and I can ensure you money was the primary motive for the shared custody. However, after reading some replies to my initial post I realize it's maybe not as bad as I thought after all. Like John Meyer wrote: "...if somebody THINKS that just by doing shared custody they will save money, they are in for a world of hurt. " You're not saying that you want him to be "in a world of hurt," are you? That would certainly cast some doubt on your motivations for posting this story. You say you know these people. Do you have a particular reason for disliking this man?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Please, don't try to guess hidden motivations on people's postings. If I need a psychologist I will find one myself, capito? You seem to be guessing at HIS motivations, and stating them as fact. What's with that? - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Ok If "A" says to "B" do this to avoid that. "B" accepts the idea and do this to avoid that Then I write a post saying that "B" did this to avoid that following the advice of "A" IS THAT GUESSING??????????????????????? |
#29
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Shared Custody?
"dmr" wrote ................... Ok If "A" says to "B" do this to avoid that. "B" accepts the idea and do this to avoid that Then I write a post saying that "B" did this to avoid that following the advice of "A" IS THAT GUESSING??????????????????????? == OK, how's this-- Bottom line is that the entire matter is none of your business? |
#30
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Shared Custody?
On 15 mayo, 06:09, "Gini" wrote:
"dmr" wrote .................. Ok If "A" says to "B" do this to avoid that. "B" accepts the idea and do this to avoid that Then I write a post saying that "B" did this to avoid that following the advice of "A" IS THAT GUESSING??????????????????????? == OK, how's this-- Bottom line is that the entire matter is none of your business? So when I answer a post sent by someone else is also none of my business. This is a forum where people should be free to express themselves about different issues related child-support. You're trying to stop me from giving my thoughts because according to you is none of my business? So, we can only expose personal issues here? Did someone hire you to discourage people from participating in this forum? Because I don't accept to be censored, ok? I rather reade someone saying he doesn't agree with my point of view than someone suggesting I should not even have one. |
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