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baby in separate room from mother at night?
I am thinking over the results I've seen in families where the baby
is, typically, nursed by the mother, and spends the night close to the mother, as compared to families where the baby is immediately put on formula and then sleeps in a room down the hall. There is this insidious "Ferberizing" process many young parents inflict upon their children in which they let their kids cry themselves to sleep at night until they get used to being without Mom and sleeping alone in their own little room. Oh, yes! Let's make the little guy 'tough' by making him cry, and then ignore his cries until he or she gets over it and becomes insensitive to whether they're sleeping with mom or not. (Is that insane, or what?) This neglect often goes along with putting these kids on formula. In my experience, it is NEVER a breastfeeding mother who also locks her child away in a room down the hall at night where they have to cry themselves to sleep! Looking at the results, that is, what becomes of this unfortunate child who is denied his or her mother's love, space, breastmilk and also physical protection, tells an ugly story. I know of a girl who was adopted into a very austere and Spartan household in which love was nothing but a 4-letter word, and the adoptive mother could not stand to be in the child's presence child for very long. The baby's room was down the hall, I guess so she could sometimes choose to ignore her when she cried. The adoptive mom THOUGHT she wanted to have a baby --then changed her mind. But she didn't give the baby to someone who would love her, she kept the baby, but just didn't LOVE her or make the child feel loved... Well, unfortunately for all concerned, that child no sooner got into her teens than she got into a syndrome of self-abuse by cutting herself in parallel lines on her arms and legs with knives and razor blades. She did this before she was half-way through high school. That child, as a grown woman, had at least one abortion and later became a lesbian. She has had absolutely no contact with her adoptive mother or father for many years now. Here is a second case, a businessman who, for his entire life, has hated his mother because she never told him she loved him, never, in his memory, hugged or kissed him, and kept him in a small dingy room down the hall throughout most of his childhood. She never breastfed him, she told him such a thing "freaked her out", she would not want a baby on her breast! This is a mother who STILL makes fun of her child and enjoys telling a roomful of guests nothing but unflattering stories about her boy. This man is now close to 50 years old, and he confided to me that he is still a virgin. Guess what? He says he has "issues" with his mother, and somehow ALL women seem to him to be a little bit LIKE his mother, therefore he has never had a successful relationship with an adult woman, not in the business world, nor in private. Women are "things" to be "consumed" as "eye candy" at a strip joint or sex magazine, but he cannot figure out how to get close to a woman -- not in real life! My point is very simple, and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm "preaching to the choir", but some of women reading this article MAY NOT be planning to hug and kiss and breastfeed their babies, and I really thought any such mothers-to-be out there ought to consider the consequences of a lack of intimacy with your baby! You have the AWESOME responsibility of raising either a well-adjusted, happy, mentally healthy child, one whom you keep close to your breast, and in your room... OR, participating in raising an unhappy, wretched little child whom you put away in a dark little room down the hall, whom you don't breastfeed, whom you make to be alone and lonesome, and who may very well grow up to be either a self-destructive self-mutilator, or possibly an inhuman, unfeeling, monster, a child who wants to give back to women exactly what his or her mother gave them in their childhood --- coldness and contempt! Remember, MOST of the contempt is actually reserved by the neglected child FOR HIS OR HER MOTHER. Think carefully, now, about how you decide to raise this baby! "Ferberize" and harm them? And lose their love and respect? Or, love them and be loved in return, both now and as long as you live! Which will it be? Is it really all that hard to decide? Best wishes & hoping you choose wisely, ------Ed http://www.breastpumppedal.com |
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
"Ed Augusts" wrote in message ... I am thinking over the results I've seen in families where the baby is, typically, nursed by the mother, and spends the night close to the mother, as compared to families where the baby is immediately put on formula and then sleeps in a room down the hall. There is this insidious "Ferberizing" process many young parents inflict upon their children in which they let their kids cry themselves to sleep at night until they get used to being without Mom and sleeping alone in their own little room. Oh, yes! Let's make the little guy 'tough' by making him cry, and then ignore his cries until he or she gets over it and becomes insensitive to whether they're sleeping with mom or not. (Is that insane, or what?) This neglect often goes along with putting these kids on formula. In my experience, it is NEVER a breastfeeding mother who also locks her child away in a room down the hall at night where they have to cry themselves to sleep! Looking at the results, that is, what becomes of this unfortunate child who is denied his or her mother's love, space, breastmilk and also physical protection, tells an ugly story. I know of a girl who was adopted into a very austere and Spartan household in which love was nothing but a 4-letter word, and the adoptive mother could not stand to be in the child's presence child for very long. The baby's room was down the hall, I guess so she could sometimes choose to ignore her when she cried. The adoptive mom THOUGHT she wanted to have a baby --then changed her mind. But she didn't give the baby to someone who would love her, she kept the baby, but just didn't LOVE her or make the child feel loved... Well, unfortunately for all concerned, that child no sooner got into her teens than she got into a syndrome of self-abuse by cutting herself in parallel lines on her arms and legs with knives and razor blades. She did this before she was half-way through high school. That child, as a grown woman, had at least one abortion and later became a lesbian. She has had absolutely no contact with her adoptive mother or father for many years now. Here is a second case, a businessman who, for his entire life, has hated his mother because she never told him she loved him, never, in his memory, hugged or kissed him, and kept him in a small dingy room down the hall throughout most of his childhood. She never breastfed him, she told him such a thing "freaked her out", she would not want a baby on her breast! This is a mother who STILL makes fun of her child and enjoys telling a roomful of guests nothing but unflattering stories about her boy. This man is now close to 50 years old, and he confided to me that he is still a virgin. Guess what? He says he has "issues" with his mother, and somehow ALL women seem to him to be a little bit LIKE his mother, therefore he has never had a successful relationship with an adult woman, not in the business world, nor in private. Women are "things" to be "consumed" as "eye candy" at a strip joint or sex magazine, but he cannot figure out how to get close to a woman -- not in real life! My point is very simple, and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm "preaching to the choir", but some of women reading this article MAY NOT be planning to hug and kiss and breastfeed their babies, and I really thought any such mothers-to-be out there ought to consider the consequences of a lack of intimacy with your baby! You have the AWESOME responsibility of raising either a well-adjusted, happy, mentally healthy child, one whom you keep close to your breast, and in your room... OR, participating in raising an unhappy, wretched little child whom you put away in a dark little room down the hall, whom you don't breastfeed, whom you make to be alone and lonesome, and who may very well grow up to be either a self-destructive self-mutilator, or possibly an inhuman, unfeeling, monster, a child who wants to give back to women exactly what his or her mother gave them in their childhood --- coldness and contempt! Remember, MOST of the contempt is actually reserved by the neglected child FOR HIS OR HER MOTHER. Think carefully, now, about how you decide to raise this baby! "Ferberize" and harm them? And lose their love and respect? Or, love them and be loved in return, both now and as long as you live! Which will it be? Is it really all that hard to decide? Best wishes & hoping you choose wisely, ------Ed http://www.breastpumppedal.com So, Ed, how many kids do you have? I'm assuming you must have some in order to 'preach', Or that you must have lived with these families you speak of? |
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
According to you, there are only two options -- you either breastfeed,
co-sleep and love your child, and said child will be "well-adjusted, happy and mentally healthy," or you bottle/formula feed, ignore your child's cries and neglect them, and your child will be "a self-destructive self-mutilator, or possibly an inhuman, unfeeling, monster, a child who wants to give back to women exactly what his or her mother gave them in their childhood." Doi. Don't forget lesbian. You're a moron, Ed. And your "sample" of two does not prove anything. It is possible to bottle/formula feed and have your child sleep in their own room in a crib without damning them to hell and a lifetime of relationship issues and therapy. Of course not showing love to a baby and child can damage that child, but that has nothing to do with breast or bottle feeding, co-sleeping or crib sleeping. Nor does it have anything to do with bio or adopted. -- Jamie Clark "Ed Augusts" wrote in message ... I am thinking over the results I've seen in families where the baby is, typically, nursed by the mother, and spends the night close to the mother, as compared to families where the baby is immediately put on formula and then sleeps in a room down the hall. There is this insidious "Ferberizing" process many young parents inflict upon their children in which they let their kids cry themselves to sleep at night until they get used to being without Mom and sleeping alone in their own little room. Oh, yes! Let's make the little guy 'tough' by making him cry, and then ignore his cries until he or she gets over it and becomes insensitive to whether they're sleeping with mom or not. (Is that insane, or what?) This neglect often goes along with putting these kids on formula. In my experience, it is NEVER a breastfeeding mother who also locks her child away in a room down the hall at night where they have to cry themselves to sleep! Looking at the results, that is, what becomes of this unfortunate child who is denied his or her mother's love, space, breastmilk and also physical protection, tells an ugly story. I know of a girl who was adopted into a very austere and Spartan household in which love was nothing but a 4-letter word, and the adoptive mother could not stand to be in the child's presence child for very long. The baby's room was down the hall, I guess so she could sometimes choose to ignore her when she cried. The adoptive mom THOUGHT she wanted to have a baby --then changed her mind. But she didn't give the baby to someone who would love her, she kept the baby, but just didn't LOVE her or make the child feel loved... Well, unfortunately for all concerned, that child no sooner got into her teens than she got into a syndrome of self-abuse by cutting herself in parallel lines on her arms and legs with knives and razor blades. She did this before she was half-way through high school. That child, as a grown woman, had at least one abortion and later became a lesbian. She has had absolutely no contact with her adoptive mother or father for many years now. Here is a second case, a businessman who, for his entire life, has hated his mother because she never told him she loved him, never, in his memory, hugged or kissed him, and kept him in a small dingy room down the hall throughout most of his childhood. She never breastfed him, she told him such a thing "freaked her out", she would not want a baby on her breast! This is a mother who STILL makes fun of her child and enjoys telling a roomful of guests nothing but unflattering stories about her boy. This man is now close to 50 years old, and he confided to me that he is still a virgin. Guess what? He says he has "issues" with his mother, and somehow ALL women seem to him to be a little bit LIKE his mother, therefore he has never had a successful relationship with an adult woman, not in the business world, nor in private. Women are "things" to be "consumed" as "eye candy" at a strip joint or sex magazine, but he cannot figure out how to get close to a woman -- not in real life! My point is very simple, and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm "preaching to the choir", but some of women reading this article MAY NOT be planning to hug and kiss and breastfeed their babies, and I really thought any such mothers-to-be out there ought to consider the consequences of a lack of intimacy with your baby! You have the AWESOME responsibility of raising either a well-adjusted, happy, mentally healthy child, one whom you keep close to your breast, and in your room... OR, participating in raising an unhappy, wretched little child whom you put away in a dark little room down the hall, whom you don't breastfeed, whom you make to be alone and lonesome, and who may very well grow up to be either a self-destructive self-mutilator, or possibly an inhuman, unfeeling, monster, a child who wants to give back to women exactly what his or her mother gave them in their childhood --- coldness and contempt! Remember, MOST of the contempt is actually reserved by the neglected child FOR HIS OR HER MOTHER. Think carefully, now, about how you decide to raise this baby! "Ferberize" and harm them? And lose their love and respect? Or, love them and be loved in return, both now and as long as you live! Which will it be? Is it really all that hard to decide? Best wishes & hoping you choose wisely, ------Ed http://www.breastpumppedal.com |
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
Hi, I was giving some examples from real life people who have told me
their 'bio', which is more than you have done. One, the female friend, went into a depression punctuated with suicidal anger when she found out she was pregnant, and she wouldn't stand for there being any chance that a child born to her could possibly grow up to be neglected and unloved as she was, and thus the only thing she could think to do was terminate the pregnancy,. I witnessed her despair, so don't be so quick to make light of her as "proving nothing". The people I've seen who were not shown the deepest love and affection by their parents and caretakers turned out to be miserable adults. You are going 'ad hominem', in your put-down comments and disregarding the essence of what I have said, while at the same time, you haven't come up with ANY examples of any children that tend to show that anything I've said doesn't point in the right direction. Come on! Put up or shut up! Give us YOUR list of kids who were fed on formula and spent the night in a room by themselves, and tell me what kind of teenagers and adults they turned into... please! Obviously, from your icy words below, you believe in denying a baby the comfort of being rocked and nursed and mothered, and sleeping right next to its mother, in favor of a colder, more efficient, love- depriving and cynical philosophy, of "toughening-up" the kid by putting him or her in an empty rooim, that is, a room without the presence of the mother. Shame on you! All I can do is feel sorry for any babies that YOU have had or taken care of. So, please! Authority about children! Please do comment about the results you have had with YOUR particular childcare system? Anything the matter? How'd you do with your love-and-warmth-deprivation system? Did I hit a bit TOO close to home, is that the reason for your angry outburst? ---e.a. On Apr 21, 8:45*am, "Jamie Clark" wrote: According to you, there are only two options -- you either breastfeed, co-sleep and love your child, and said child will be "well-adjusted, happy and mentally healthy," or you bottle/formula feed, ignore your child's cries and neglect them, and your child will be "a self-destructive self-mutilator, or possibly an inhuman, unfeeling, monster, a child who wants to give back to women exactly what his or her mother gave them in their childhood." *Doi. Don't forget lesbian. You're a moron, Ed. *And your "sample" of two does not prove anything. It is possible to bottle/formula feed and have your child sleep in their own room in a crib without damning them to hell and a lifetime of relationship issues and therapy. Of course not showing love to a baby and child can damage that child, but that has nothing to do with breast or bottle feeding, co-sleeping or crib sleeping. *Nor does it have anything to do with bio or adopted. -- Jamie Clark "Ed Augusts" wrote in message ... I am thinking over the results I've seen in families where the baby is, typically, nursed by the mother, and spends the night close to the mother, as compared to families where the baby is immediately put on formula and then sleeps in a room down the hall. *There is this insidious "Ferberizing" process many young parents inflict upon their children in which they let their kids cry themselves to sleep at night until they get used to being without Mom and sleeping alone in their own little room. *Oh, yes! *Let's make the little guy 'tough' by making him cry, and then ignore his cries until he or she gets over it and becomes insensitive to whether they're sleeping with mom or not. (Is that insane, or what?) *This neglect often goes along with putting these kids on formula. *In my experience, it is NEVER a breastfeeding mother who also locks her child away in a room down the hall at night where they have to cry themselves to sleep! Looking at the results, that is, what becomes of this unfortunate child who is denied his or her mother's love, space, breastmilk and also physical protection, tells an ugly story. I know of a girl who was adopted into a very austere and Spartan household in which love was nothing but a 4-letter word, *and the adoptive mother could not stand to be in the child's presence child for very long. The baby's room was down the hall, I guess so she could sometimes choose to ignore her when she cried. *The adoptive mom THOUGHT she wanted to have a baby --then changed her mind. *But she didn't give the baby to someone who would love her, she kept the baby, but just didn't LOVE her or make the child feel loved... Well, unfortunately for all concerned, that child no sooner got into her teens than she got into a syndrome of self-abuse by cutting herself in parallel lines on her arms and legs with knives and razor blades. *She did this before she was half-way through high school. *That child, as a grown woman, had at least one abortion and later became a lesbian. She has had absolutely no contact with her adoptive mother or father for many years now. Here is a second case, a businessman who, for his entire life, has hated his mother because she never told him she loved him, never, in his memory, hugged or kissed him, and kept him in a small dingy room down the hall throughout most of his childhood. *She never breastfed him, she told him such a thing "freaked her out", she would not want a baby on her breast! *This is a mother who STILL makes fun of her child and enjoys telling a roomful of guests nothing but unflattering stories about her boy. *This man is now close to 50 years old, and he confided to me that he is still a virgin. *Guess what? *He says he has "issues" with his mother, and somehow ALL women seem to him to be a little bit LIKE his mother, therefore he has never had a successful relationship with an adult woman, not in the business world, nor in private. Women are "things" to be "consumed" as "eye candy" at a strip joint or sex magazine, but he cannot figure out how to get close to a woman -- *not in real life! My point is very simple, and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm "preaching to the choir", but some of women reading this article MAY NOT be planning to hug and kiss and breastfeed their babies, and I really thought any such mothers-to-be out there ought to consider the consequences of a lack of intimacy with your baby! *You have the AWESOME responsibility of raising either a well-adjusted, happy, mentally healthy child, one whom you keep close to your breast, and in your room... OR, *participating in raising an unhappy, wretched little child whom you put away in a dark little room down the hall, *whom you don't breastfeed, whom you make to be alone and lonesome, and who may very well grow up to be either a self-destructive self-mutilator, or possibly an inhuman, unfeeling, monster, a child who wants to give back to women exactly what his or her mother gave them in their childhood --- coldness and contempt! *Remember, MOST of the contempt is actually reserved by the neglected child FOR HIS OR HER MOTHER. Think carefully, now, about how you decide to raise this baby! "Ferberize" and harm them? *And lose their love and respect? * Or, love them and be loved in return, both now and as long as you live! Which will it be? *Is it really all that hard to decide? Best wishes & hoping you choose wisely, *------Ed http://www.breastpumppedal.com- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - |
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
On Apr 21, 2:29*am, "lu-lu" wrote:
"Ed Augusts" wrote in message ... I am thinking over the results I've seen in families where the baby is, typically, nursed by the mother, and spends the night close to the mother, as compared to families where the baby is immediately put on formula and then sleeps in a room down the hall. *There is this insidious "Ferberizing" process many young parents inflict upon their children in which they let their kids cry themselves to sleep at night until they get used to being without Mom and sleeping alone in their own little room. *Oh, yes! *Let's make the little guy 'tough' by making him cry, and then ignore his cries until he or she gets over it and becomes insensitive to whether they're sleeping with mom or not. (Is that insane, or what?) *This neglect often goes along with putting these kids on formula. *In my experience, it is NEVER a breastfeeding mother who also locks her child away in a room down the hall at night where they have to cry themselves to sleep! Looking at the results, that is, what becomes of this unfortunate child who is denied his or her mother's love, space, breastmilk and also physical protection, tells an ugly story. I know of a girl who was adopted into a very austere and Spartan household in which love was nothing but a 4-letter word, *and the adoptive mother could not stand to be in the child's presence child for very long. The baby's room was down the hall, I guess so she could sometimes choose to ignore her when she cried. *The adoptive mom THOUGHT she wanted to have a baby --then changed her mind. *But she didn't give the baby to someone who would love her, she kept the baby, but just didn't LOVE her or make the child feel loved... Well, unfortunately for all concerned, that child no sooner got into her teens than she got into a syndrome of self-abuse by cutting herself in parallel lines on her arms and legs with knives and razor blades. *She did this before she was half-way through high school. *That child, as a grown woman, had at least one abortion and later became a lesbian. She has had absolutely no contact with her adoptive mother or father for many years now. Here is a second case, a businessman who, for his entire life, has hated his mother because she never told him she loved him, never, in his memory, hugged or kissed him, and kept him in a small dingy room down the hall throughout most of his childhood. *She never breastfed him, she told him such a thing "freaked her out", she would not want a baby on her breast! *This is a mother who STILL makes fun of her child and enjoys telling a roomful of guests nothing but unflattering stories about her boy. *This man is now close to 50 years old, and he confided to me that he is still a virgin. *Guess what? *He says he has "issues" with his mother, and somehow ALL women seem to him to be a little bit LIKE his mother, therefore he has never had a successful relationship with an adult woman, not in the business world, nor in private. Women are "things" to be "consumed" as "eye candy" at a strip joint or sex magazine, but he cannot figure out how to get close to a woman -- *not in real life! My point is very simple, and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm "preaching to the choir", but some of women reading this article MAY NOT be planning to hug and kiss and breastfeed their babies, and I really thought any such mothers-to-be out there ought to consider the consequences of a lack of intimacy with your baby! *You have the AWESOME responsibility of raising either a well-adjusted, happy, mentally healthy child, one whom you keep close to your breast, and in your room... OR, *participating in raising an unhappy, wretched little child whom you put away in a dark little room down the hall, *whom you don't breastfeed, whom you make to be alone and lonesome, and who may very well grow up to be either a self-destructive self-mutilator, or possibly an inhuman, unfeeling, monster, a child who wants to give back to women exactly what his or her mother gave them in their childhood --- coldness and contempt! *Remember, MOST of the contempt is actually reserved by the neglected child FOR HIS OR HER MOTHER. Think carefully, now, about how you decide to raise this baby! "Ferberize" and harm them? *And lose their love and respect? * Or, love them and be loved in return, both now and as long as you live! Which will it be? *Is it really all that hard to decide? Best wishes & hoping you choose wisely, *------Ed http://www.breastpumppedal.com So, Ed, how many kids do you have? I'm assuming you must have some in order to 'preach', Or that you must have lived with these families you speak of?- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - I don't mean to 'preach', but I'm 59 years old which is plenty old enough to see the results of all kinds of various systems of raising children. I like to give information about definite cases, definite individuals, so I'm puzzled why I get anti-Ed remarks, "Who are YOU to preach, buddy?" instead of someone saying "I've known such-and-so-many children who were all raised on formula and whose moms didn't show them much warmth, and they've all grown up just fine!" I don't see those kinds of remarks because I think the truth is, children who are deprived of affection by their mothers or other caretakers, which includes nursing them, DO NOT grow up as successfully as very much LOVED children do. If anyone is shamed or embarrassed that they DID NOT love their children enough when they were babies and tots, and realizes now that personality deficits and behavior problems, stunted emotional and physical development, etc., may very well be due to not "being there" for their baby, well, I'm sorry about that, I really am! Perhaps it is more politically correct to not talk about this issue at all? Is that what you folks are saying? Don't rock the boat of public opinion that states "go ahead and abandon your baby in an empty room at night, their crying, their loneliness, doesn't matter!" Yes, I have indeed lived with the families I mention, although that was on another USENET group where I listed five children who had been breastfed for 2 years or longer, and who slept very close to their mothers; and reported on their particular, individual, scientific, musical, artistic, and literary talents, which were often exceptional; also on the fact they never had to take any medications to control any behavior problems, nor did they display any signs of ill-health. What I was HOPING was that someone would jump in with additional support from their own experiences raising children, and if they want to posit a contrary point of view, that they would do so using evidence of X-number of children who were formula-fed and slept in a different room from their mom. But so far, aside from a few snippy remarks, nobody has stepped forward with any evidence! THAT surprises me! Best, -----e.a. http://www.breastpumppedal.com |
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
Ed Augusts wrote:
Hi, I was giving some examples from real life people who have told me their 'bio', which is more than you have done. That's a bit much coming from someone who's just dropped in this newsgroup towards someone who's been an active participant sharing her history and advice for years and years... Come on! Put up or shut up! Give us YOUR list of kids who were fed on formula and spent the night in a room by themselves, and tell me what kind of teenagers and adults they turned into... please! Well, that's pretty easy. For one, *I* was fed formula and slept in my own room from the get go and yet I turned into a happy, well adjusted, successful adult--not only that, but one who was and is very close to her mother. I rather suspect that the majority of folks here were fed formula and slept in their own rooms as babies. If those are your only criteria for good parenting, I rather suspect you have little experience in the matter. Obviously, from your icy words below, you believe in denying a baby the comfort of being rocked and nursed and mothered, and sleeping right next to its mother, in favor of a colder, more efficient, love- depriving and cynical philosophy, of "toughening-up" the kid by putting him or her in an empty rooim, that is, a room without the presence of the mother. If you had made any effort to familiarize yourself with this newsgroup (as standard netiquette suggests), you would know how false that statement is. You might also have figured out that lambasting a bunch of folks whose situations you have no earthly idea about might just be a bit over the top and cause you to be perceived as a crackpot rather than someone who might have something interesting or legitimate to offer. Best wishes, Ericka |
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
Ed Augusts wrote:
I don't mean to 'preach', Oh, I think that it's quite clear you *do* want to preach. Otherwise, why the fire and brimstone. instead of someone saying "I've known such-and-so-many children who were all raised on formula and whose moms didn't show them much warmth, and they've all grown up just fine!" Some folks might be thinking that a response that equates formula feeding with frigidity doesn't merit much response. Also the notions that separate rooms equate to abandonment, or that parents who do not co-sleep or breastfeed don't love their children. But so far, aside from a few snippy remarks, nobody has stepped forward with any evidence! THAT surprises me! If you walked into a room in person and spewed the sort of venom you just did in this newsgroup, would you expect to be received warmly and have folks exchange information in a logical fashion with you? I rather suspect you'd have had better manners than to do that in person, yet you somehow think that you can waltz into *this* group and insult long term participants who are loving and effective mothers and fathers, yet who did not breastfeed or co-sleep (often for darned good reasons you have no right to judge) and be treated differently? You will find plenty of breastfeeding and co-sleeping advocates in this newsgroup. They just have better manners, and therefore experience a much better reception, not to mention having a much high likelihood of persuading others to share their opinions. Best wishes, Ericka |
#8
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
On Apr 21, 2:05*pm, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Ed Augusts wrote: Hi, *I was giving some examples from real life people who have told me their 'bio', which is more than you have done. * * * * That's a bit much coming from someone who's just dropped in this newsgroup towards someone who's been an active participant sharing her history and advice for years and years... Come on! *Put up or shut up! *Give us YOUR list of kids who were fed on formula and spent the night in a room by themselves, and tell me what kind of teenagers and adults they turned into... *please! * * * * Well, that's pretty easy. *For one, *I* was fed formula and slept in my own room from the get go and yet I turned into a happy, well adjusted, successful adult--not only that, but one who was and is very close to her mother. *I rather suspect that the majority of folks here were fed formula and slept in their own rooms as babies. *If those are your only criteria for good parenting, I rather suspect you have little experience in the matter. Obviously, from your icy words below, you believe in denying a baby the comfort of being rocked and nursed and mothered, and sleeping right next to its mother, in favor of a colder, more efficient, love- depriving and cynical philosophy, of "toughening-up" the kid by putting him or her in an empty rooim, that is, a room without the presence of the mother. * * * * If you had made any effort to familiarize yourself with this newsgroup (as standard netiquette suggests), you would know how false that statement is. *You might also have figured out that lambasting a bunch of folks whose situations you have no earthly idea about might just be a bit over the top and cause you to be perceived as a crackpot rather than someone who might have something interesting or legitimate to offer. Best wishes, Ericka Oh, I'm sorry, Ericka! The niceties of netiquette were pushed aside for me when your friend called me a moron instead of offering any substantial evidence. I'm very glad that even though you were formula-fed and not physically that close to your mother, that things turned out okay. This may be explained by possibly comparing it to the case of a man I know who was rejected pretty badly by his mom as a kid, and has always felt he needed to try to be closer with her, he couldn't just ASSUME her love, he had to keep trying to earn it, although there was a deep subcurrent of animosity as well. The point may be that your mom DID love you and care for you very much, though she didn't breastfeed. I'm not trying to say anywhere near 100% of mothers who don't breastfeed and don't keep their baby close to them at night are going to find their kids grow up to have problems, but since I know of so many individual cases of exceptional children who WERE treated with special closeness and WERE breastfed, it makes me wonder how the stats would stack-up against each other, if doing such a study was possible! By the way, here's part of what I posted on the other Newsgroup, so that I can put something more substantial "out there" for discussion, here are descriptions of the 5 children I was talking about on the other group. I should probably have posted it to this Group in the first place instead of coming in, sounding like I was "preaching". I know you're all good mothers, it's only when someone calls me a "MORON" rather than refuting what I'm saying through evidence that irks me a little! Here it is: I'm becoming extraordinarily curious about what I perceive as a very positive effect that prolonged breastfeeding can have on a growing child's ability to both learn and create as well as display good health! I have recently seen some examples of children that have been breastfed past 2 years of age. Let me give you a run-down on their various attributes: Oldest, is a girl just finishing high school. She excels in learning foreign languages, writes complex and delightful fantasies and other short stories that are so good, that I agree with her teachers that they'll soon be published! She also sews kimonos, wedding dresses, and other gowns, often designing her own patterns! As to physical condition, she is in the martial arts and has robust good health, though refined and delicate at the same time, not lacking in the feminine graces. Next up is a boy of 15. He is musically gifted and both sings and dances. He's been touring the nation and the world for the past few years and doing solos both singing and dancing. He has the mind of a philosopher. He asks questions, is a deep thinker, and is of a very serious nature. He has no known health problems, plays tennis and other games and sports. Next along is another boy, of 12. He is a budding scientist. He recently won a regional science fair and is extremely interested in robotics and aerospace. He also plays a musical instrument and is taking lessons in it, as well. He has a strongly physical nature and rough-houses a bit to burn off some of this energy, but has a golden heart, is generous and friendly to all. Next to the youngest is a boy of 6. He reputedly has prophetic and healing abilities that can be seen in his deep-set and very dark eyes. His mother turns to HIM for advice because she feels he has a wisdom beyond his years. He is much more calm and relaxed than many children of the same age. He has no physical infirmities or weaknesses that his mother has ever mentioned. The youngest is a boy who just turned 4. He is just a happily playing, thriving lad! Just like his six year old brother, he has no infirmities or physical or mental challenges or weaknesses that anyone knows of. He communicates well and his verbal abilities and other skills are a bit higher than other boys of the same age. He is perhaps too young to single out any special abilities he may have. As I said, all these kids were breastfed until they were at least two years old! They seem to be well-adjusted, mentally proficient, show creative abilities including musical and artistic and literary abilities, and I haven't seen any of them display any physical or mental problems of any kind. I am wondering if these kids are the exception, or the rule! Can anyone add to this list with kids whom they know who have also been breast fed? Best wishes, ------Ed |
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
On Apr 21, 2:23*pm, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Ed Augusts wrote: I don't mean to 'preach', * * * * Oh, I think that it's quite clear you *do* want to preach. *Otherwise, why the fire and brimstone. instead of someone saying "I've known such-and-so-many children who were all raised on formula and whose moms didn't show them much warmth, and they've all grown up just fine!" * * * * Some folks might be thinking that a response that equates formula feeding with frigidity doesn't merit much response. *Also the notions that separate rooms equate to abandonment, or that parents who do not co-sleep or breastfeed don't love their children. But so far, aside from a few snippy remarks, nobody has stepped forward with any evidence! *THAT surprises me! * * * * If you walked into a room in person and spewed the sort of venom you just did in this newsgroup, would you expect to be received warmly and have folks exchange information in a logical fashion with you? *I rather suspect you'd have had better manners than to do that in person, yet you somehow think that you can waltz into *this* group and insult long term participants who are loving and effective mothers and fathers, yet who did not breastfeed or co-sleep (often for darned good reasons you have no right to judge) and be treated differently? * * * * You will find plenty of breastfeeding and co-sleeping advocates in this newsgroup. *They just have better manners, and therefore experience a much better reception, not to mention having a much high likelihood of persuading others to share their opinions. Best wishes, Ericka I will take to heart what you've said, and quiet down and stay in 'my place' -- I know when I'm basically being called "just a guy, so who cares what he thinks or says?". This is a woman's world here. Though I've been involved with helping market some very useful products for women and babies and thus this topic of prolonged breastfeeding and various kinds of nurturing experiences in motherhood came up, and seemed important to me; I'm sorry if I haven't been steeped in the history of this particular Group and thus seem like an intruder, such was not my intention! I thought anybody could post here, and that my efforts would be appreciated and also cause some debate. Debate isn't bad, but I don't see debate, I see aggression aimed in my direction! Oh, well! I was trying to post some ON-TOPIC stuff inbetween all the very unfortunate travel, personal accessory, viagra, and XXX rated SPAM that gets dumped on these mother- and child-related USENET groups. After seeing 10 pieces of obnoxious SPAM in a row, I thought posting something of possible interest about moms & babies might be acceptable, but I guess I was wrong! --------Ed www.breastpumppedal.com |
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baby in separate room from mother at night?
Ed Augusts wrote:
I will take to heart what you've said, and quiet down and stay in 'my place' -- I know when I'm basically being called "just a guy, so who cares what he thinks or says?". Where did I or anyone else suggest that the problem is that you're male? Men are welcome here, and are welcome to have opinions and share them. Men or women who come spewing gross overgeneralizations and invective are the ones likely to receive a more chilly reception. This is a woman's world here. Though I've been involved with helping market some very useful products for women and babies Hmmm...do we now see the motivation here? Marketing perhaps? Spam is not welcome, but you are certainly encouraged to be a genuine participant in this newsgroup. If you are hoping to promote your product, I can guarantee you that posts insulting many of the fine parents in this group who aren't following your parenting program is not a great way to get others to buy into your views or your products. and thus this topic of prolonged breastfeeding and various kinds of nurturing experiences in motherhood came up, and seemed important to me; I'm sorry if I haven't been steeped in the history of this particular Group and thus seem like an intruder, such was not my intention! I thought anybody could post here, and that my efforts would be appreciated and also cause some debate. Debate isn't bad, but I don't see debate, I see aggression aimed in my direction! Because you started with aggression, it is not so surprising that you received some in return. You'll find this is a group that is generally respectful of different parenting choices, especially from folks who don't start insulting those who don't share their choices. Best wishes, Ericka |
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