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#81
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
elizabeth wrote:
Phyl wrote: snip And that would be more projection on your part. No, your tone makes me think you are one bitter person. Oh, but the rub is that there is NO tone on the internet. All one sees is words and there can be accent placed with *s or CAPS as well as certain mood words.... Therefore, you ARE projecting "tone" which is what Elizabeth said. OH YEAH???? SCREW YOU! (note: If you thought my "tone" was less than nice, you must be projecting.) Heh, no tone on the internet indeed.... Actually, on the internet, using all caps is considered yelling, and is done primarily by children and people too stupid to be able to continue a debate, and is generally resorted to when the opponent demonstrates the stupidity of the original argument presented by the poster. I think you need a time out, dearie. Precious, I think the origin of stupidity here is that you think there's no tone on the Internet. Surely you can understand you're uninformed. -- Phyl |
#82
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
"elizabeth" wrote in news:1155084728.827677.217330
@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com: Mitchell Holman wrote: "General results indicate that 47.5% of lesbians and 29.7% of gays have been victimized by a same-sex partner. Further, lesbians reported an overall perpetration rate of 38% compared to 21.8% for gay men." http://www.fathersforlife.org/feminism/female_dv_1.htm Not exactly a credible source, a group of antiabortion men, catholic, no doubt. But nothing in your missive below contradicts it. Fact remains that within same sex relationships, women commit (and suffer) more domestic violence than men. Hardly experts on domestic violence in gay households. Here's the view from the other side: http://www.lambda.org/DV_background.htm Domestic Violence in Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Relationships Partner battering and abuse in Queer relationships: Domestic violence in the GLBT community is a serious issue. The rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships is roughly the same as domestic violence against heterosexual women (25%). As in opposite-gendered couples, the problem is likely underreported. Facing a system which is often oppressive and hostile towards queers, those involved in same-gender battering frequently report being afraid of revealing their sexual orientation or the nature of their relationship. Others who do not identify as GLBT may not feel that their relationship fits the definition but may still be in an abusive and dangerous relationship. In many ways, domestic violence in lesbian, bisexual and gay relationships is the same as in opposite-gendered (e.g., heterosexually-paired) relationships: No one deserves to be abused. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and involve verbal behavior used to coerce, threaten or humiliate. Abuse often occurs in a cyclical fashion. The purpose of the abuse is to maintain control and power over one's partner. The abused partner feels alone, isolated and afraid, and is usually convinced that the abuse is somehow her or his fault, or could have been avoided if she or he knew what to do. Several important aspects of lesbian, bisexual, and gay relationships mean domestic violence is often experienced differently: In same-sex abuse, a pattern of violence or behaviors exists where one seeks to control the thoughts, beliefs, or conduct of their intimate partner, or to punish their partner for resisting their control. This may been seen as physical or sexual violence, or emotional and verbal abuse. An additional form of emotional abuse for someone who is gay, lesbian, or bisexual may be to "out" them at work or to family or friends. Local resources for domestic violence in the GLBT community are often scarce and many traditional domestic violence services lack the training, sensitivity, and expertise to adequately recognize and address abusive GLBT relationships. A Queer individual who is being battered must overcome homophobia and denial of the issue of battering. Lesbians, bisexuals and gay men who have been abused have much more difficulty in finding sources of support than heterosexual women who are battered by their male partners. Here are more ways same-gender domestic violence is unique: It is frequently incorrectly assumed that lesbian, bi and gay abuse must be "mutual." It is not often seen as being mutual in heterosexual battering. Utilizing existing services (such as a shelter, attending support groups or calling a crisis line) either means lying or hiding the gender of the batterer to be perceived (and thus accepted) as a heterosexual. Or it can mean "coming out", which is a major life decision. If lesbians, bi's and gays come out to service providers who are not discreet with this information, it could lead to the victim losing their home, job, custody of children, etc. This may also precipitate local and/or statewide laws to affect some of these changes, depending on the area. Telling heterosexuals about battering in a lesbian, bi or gay relationship can reinforce the myth many believe that lesbian, bi and gay relationships are "abnormal." This can further cause the victim to feel isolated and unsupported. The lesbian, bi and gay community is often not supportive of victims of battering because many want to maintain the myth that there are no problems (such as child abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, etc.) in lesbian, bi and gay relationships. Receiving support services to help one escape a battering relationship is more difficult when there are also oppressions faced. Battered lesbians and female bisexuals automatically encounter sexism and homophobia, and gay and bisexual men encounter homophobia. Lesbian or gay people of color who are battered also face racism. These forms of social oppressions make it more difficult for these groups to get the support needed (legal, financial, social, housing, medical, etc.) to escape and live freely from an abusive relationship. Lesbian, bi and gay survivors of battering may not know others who are lesbian, bi or gay, meaning that leaving the abuser could result in total isolation. Lesbians, bisexuals and gays are usually not as tied financially to their partner, which can be a benefit if they decide to end the relationship. However, if their lives are financially intertwined, such as each paying a rent or mortgage and having "built a home together", they have no legal process to assist in making sure assets are evenly divided, a process which exists for their married, heterosexual counterparts. The lesbian, bi and gay community within the area may be small, and in all likelihood everyone the survivor knows will soon know of their abuse. Sides will be drawn and support may be difficult to find. Anonymity is not an option, a characteristic many heterosexual survivors can draw upon in "starting a new life" for themselves within the same city. //end And more! http://www.metrokc.gov/health/glbt/dv.htm Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Health Domestic violence among GLBT people In recent years, GLBT survivors of domestic violence have begun speaking out about their experience in increasing numbers. New organizations have been created to address the issue and provide support to survivors. Historically, though, there has been an overwhelming silence about same-sex domestic violence. Many people still don't believe that same-sex domestic violence really exists, and people who are victims are often ashamed to tell their communities or families. In fact, numerous studies have shown that violence in heterosexual and same-sex relationships occurs at approximately the same rate (one in four). Domestic violence in lesbian or gay couples is largely the same as it is in heterosexual couples. One partner maintains control over the other person and limits his or her freedom to socialize. The abused partner becomes isolated and confused. The abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, economic, and verbal. The abuse doesn't happen all of the time-there are sweet and close periods that are interrupted by unpredictable violence. After the violence the abuser may be apologetic, asking forgiveness. Many survivors find that when they move to end the relationship, their partner may increase the threats and manipulation. The abuse often gets worse over time. If there are children living in the home, they are terrorized by the violence even if they are not hit themselves. Myths about same-sex domestic violence MYTH: "Violence between two men or two women is a 'fight' between equals." Truth: Domestic violence is not the same as a consensual fight, no matter who is involved. Loving, healthy relationships do not include physical fighting. Domestic violence is about control and domination of one person by another; either person could be male, either person could be female. Batterers do not have to be bigger or stronger than the person they abuse. MYTH: "If you fight back, then it's not abuse." Truth: Fighting back is not abuse, nor does it make the relationship "mutually abusive." Survivors have used violence for many reasons, including self-defense, desperation, anger, and to try to stop the abuse. When survivors use violence the results can be complicated. Police are often confused by same-sex domestic violence and may arrest the wrong or both parties. Friends may disbelieve the survivor. Using violence to survive is a sign that something is wrong -- making a plan to get support is important. MYTH: "Women are not violent." Truth: There is ample evidence that both genders have capacity for violence. Some women abuse other women, men, and children. Abusers and their victims come from all genders, races, classes, religions, and regions. MYTH: "Lesbian relationships are based on equality - lesbians have ideal, loving relationships." Truth: Lesbian relationships are just as good and as bad as all other relationships and have most of the same problems. The myth that lesbian relationships are perfect leads to silence among lesbians who are abused. MYTH: "Domestic violence primarily occurs among GLBT people who hang out at bars, are poor or are people of color." Truth: Abusers and their victims come from all genders, races, classes, religions, and regions. Racist and classist stereotypes around domestic violence are common not just in the GLBT community, but also in the dominant heterosexual culture. MYTH: "The law does not and will not protect victims of same-sex domestic violence." Truth: Although many law enforcement professionals and court systems are still confused about same-sex domestic violence, there have been many constructive changes in recent years. In many jurisdictions, mandatory arrest policies require the police to intervene and arrest the person they perceive to be the batterer. Although many police remain confused when attempting to sort out incidents involving same gender couples and may end up arresting the wrong or both parties in a battering situation, opportunities to educate and train the police and courts about the realities of domestic violence in same-sex relationships are increasing. Differences between same-sex and opposite-sex domestic violence Although domestic violence is largely the same in heterosexual and homosexual relationships, gay, lesbian and bisexual victims of domestic violence have some additional problems. Fewer services To get help you have to come out. There aren't very many services to help lesbians, and women who have been abused by another woman are sometimes treated with ignorance or homophobia by the domestic violence service agencies and shelters that are supposed to help them. There are few or no shelters and services for male victims of domestic violence, gay or straight. There are some domestic violence services specifically for GLBT people such as: The Northwest Network for GLBT survivors of domestic violence Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project Increased isolation The isolation that accompanies domestic violence can be compounded by being GLBT in a homophobic society. Silence about domestic violence within the LGBT community further isolates the victim, giving more power to the batterer. Protecting the community GLBT people feel understandably protective of their relationships in the face of widespread discrimination and negative stereotypes among the wider population. Many GLBT people don't want to admit openly that their relationship-which is already seen as "sick" - has this problem. Heterosexist control One of the weapons that batterers in same-sex relationships may use involve "heterosexist control." This means that the batterer takes advantage of the homophobic and heterosexist nature of the larger society - as well as our own internalized heterosexism - to further dominate and control their partner. Heterosexist control can take a variety of forms, including: Threats to "out" the victim -- A batterer may threaten to tell friends, family, co-workers, bosses or the landlord about the victim's sexual orientation as an additional threat. Increased risk of losing children -- The risk of losing children to third parties (the birth mother or father, grandparents, the State) is greater for GLBT couples when domestic violence is involved. A batterer can threaten disclosing the sexual orientation of a parent to the courts or foster care authorities. Threats of deportation -- For individuals who may not be document residents of this country, abusive partners may threaten to report their partner to the Immigration and Naturalization Service. Questions to ask yourself about your relationship 1. Has your partner ever pushed, choked, hit or thrown things at you or threatened to hurt you? 2. Has your partner ever threatened to "out" you to your family, your friends, your school, or your job? 3. Has your partner ever put you down or told you to "shut up" in front of other people? 4. Has your partner ever gotten drunk or high and used it as an excuse for sex or to hurt you? 5. Do you feel like it's easier to just go along with what your partner wants, rather than make your own decisions? 6. Has your partner ever started sex with you while you were sleeping without permission? 7. Has your partner refused to practice safer sex when you asked him or her to? 8. Has your partner ever left you someplace that wasn't safe or insisted you go somewhere unsafe? 9. Have you stopped seeing your friends or family to avoid your partner's jealousy? 10. Do you watch what you say to make sure your partner approves? If you answered "yes" - even once - your partner may be abusive. What you can do if you are scared or concerned: If it's an emergency, call 911 for assistance. If it isn't an emergency right now, start planning. You can protect your safety by: Making a plan in case you have to leave quickly. Putting together an "emergency kit" (link to info at bottom of page) of things you would really need if you had to leave suddenly. Establishing contacts with friends and family so you have a place to go in an emergency. Considering obtaining a restraining order to protect yourself. You have the right to file a police report if you have been physically abused. Call your local police department to have a police officer sent out to you or go into any police station to make a report. Remember that you didn't cause your abuse. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Don't let your partner control or mistreat you. Help is available. Sample emergency kit: Money - store some cash in a secret place where you can easily get to it. Be sure to include some coins for phone calls. Keys - an extra set if keys should be kept in a safe place (at a friend's or neighbor's) in case you need to leave quickly. Important papers for you and your children - birth certificates, passports, health insurance documents, photo ID/driver's license, immunization records, checkbook, medication, food stamps, social security cards, etc. (or copies of them) should be kept in a safe place. Basic items - keep a small bag with your medicines, copies of your legal papers, an extra pair of glasses, and a set of clothes. So much for the "gentler sex".............. Women aren't gentle, they are lousy fighters, and thus tend to go after small children, the only category of homicide where women outnumber men. The cause of violence is cohabitation. AT least 80% of the violent crimes in America are committed on and by cohabitants, family members, roommates and live ins. In the animal shelter, we put them in seperate cages to avoid fighting--any animal, esp our species, will lash out at the nearest target when under stress. Of course, such crimes aren't prosecuted the way stranger violence is. One thing I've heard from actual researchers on domestic violence in the gay community is that there is not the same rate of HOMICIDAL violence in gay couples, and it may be because both of them tend to be evenly matched in a fight, unlike straight couples. That's why reports of domestic HOMICIDE indicate that most of the killing in couples is men killing women. In fact the rate of women killing men in domestic violence has DROPPED in the past years, attributed to more shelters and escape routes for women. So that's why I am against gay AND straight marriage. It leads to domestic violence. Adults should live alone, and kids raised communally in a setting where the parents come to the kids and are thus under supervision of others at all times. Domestic violence, and child and elder abuse, happen because of the stresses of living together, and being hidden from public view. Since we aren't going to return to living in extended families, it's time to realize that new methods of raising children and living must be created, because the way we are now simply isn't working, nor will it work. In the animal shelter, if you put the Pomeranians in with the pit bulls, you end up with dead Poms and bloody pits. So why do we do this with our own species? |
#83
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
On 8 Aug 2006 16:29:06 -0700, elizabeth wrote:
You know, Johnyycakes, I'm flattered that you think I'm a lesbian, and men like you wish I was one, but it's simply not factual. But then, netloons like you don't like reality much anyway. Ha! and lookit the groups you are posting your hate towards other women into. A gossip group, a feminist group, and the LushNimrod group. Yeah, theres your bastions of reality, right there. Tell me, do you have a lactation fetish, or do you want to lactate yourself? That doesnt really interest me. Is it worse that you want me to have a lactation fetish, or that i "want you to be a lesbian"? I simply remarked that you certainly sounded like a bitter old feminist. If I'm wrong, sue me. You certainly don't like feminists, worst hypocrites on earth. Just like you, they hate other women who don't agree with their skewed and self-righteous bull****. Plenty of evidence of YOU doing exactly that, here. so you must be trolling this thread looking for mooporn. Gosh. I didnt know that existed. Is your picture all over it? |
#84
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
On Tue, 08 Aug 2006 23:07:28 -0500, Mitchell Holman wrote:
"elizabeth" wrote in news:1155084728.827677.217330 @m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com: Mitchell Holman wrote: "General results indicate that 47.5% of lesbians and 29.7% of gays have been victimized by a same-sex partner. Further, lesbians reported an overall perpetration rate of 38% compared to 21.8% for gay men." http://www.fathersforlife.org/feminism/female_dv_1.htm Not exactly a credible source, a group of antiabortion men, catholic, no doubt. But nothing in your missive below contradicts it. Fact remains that within same sex relationships, women commit (and suffer) more domestic violence than men. What about gay men relationship violence? Worse, or the same, as gay women relationships? Anyway, I agree, nothing she found online, contradicts the idea that more and more gay women are ending up in womens shelters, victims of abuse by women. Why does Elizabeth hate other women so much? |
#85
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
JohnArbor wrote in news:dkwhy1e1ymq6
: On 8 Aug 2006 16:29:06 -0700, elizabeth wrote: You know, Johnyycakes, I'm flattered that you think I'm a lesbian, and men like you wish I was one, but it's simply not factual. But then, netloons like you don't like reality much anyway. Ha! and lookit the groups you are posting your hate towards other women into. A gossip group, a feminist group, and the LushNimrod group. Yeah, theres your bastions of reality, right there. Good thing she is not a lesbian. Most would not want to share the same sidewalk as her. Tell me, do you have a lactation fetish, or do you want to lactate yourself? That doesnt really interest me. Is it worse that you want me to have a lactation fetish, or that i "want you to be a lesbian"? I simply remarked that you certainly sounded like a bitter old feminist. If I'm wrong, sue me. Women Who Hate Women. Isn't there a 12 step program for that? You certainly don't like feminists, worst hypocrites on earth. Just like you, they hate other women who don't agree with their skewed and self-righteous bull****. Plenty of evidence of YOU doing exactly that, here. Jealously runs deep, esp with barren women. so you must be trolling this thread looking for mooporn. Gosh. I didnt know that existed. Is your picture all over it? |
#86
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
On 8 Aug 2006 16:11:41 -0700, elizabeth wrote:
Is your friend a violent lesbian? Probably that's why she hates men so much, she knows you. The only person here I see hating men, is you. But then again, you seem to hate everybody. Why don't you ask HER to post what SHE knows, that is, if she exists. Why do you hate other women so much Elizabeth? Men like you are why there are lesbians Ha! So its A CHOICE, not wired in from birth. Thats interesting. |
#87
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
JohnArbor wrote in news:swatg5v0to4x.1h1vxy3beluev
: On Tue, 08 Aug 2006 23:07:28 -0500, Mitchell Holman wrote: "elizabeth" wrote in news:1155084728.827677.217330 @m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com: Mitchell Holman wrote: "General results indicate that 47.5% of lesbians and 29.7% of gays have been victimized by a same-sex partner. Further, lesbians reported an overall perpetration rate of 38% compared to 21.8% for gay men." http://www.fathersforlife.org/feminism/female_dv_1.htm Not exactly a credible source, a group of antiabortion men, catholic, no doubt. But nothing in your missive below contradicts it. Fact remains that within same sex relationships, women commit (and suffer) more domestic violence than men. What about gay men relationship violence? Worse, or the same, as gay women relationships? Anyway, I agree, nothing she found online, contradicts the idea that more and more gay women are ending up in womens shelters, victims of abuse by women. Why does Elizabeth hate other women so much? Listening to too much Ann Coulter and Dr Laura, perhaps? Mitchell Holman "It would be a much better country if women did not vote. That is simply a fact". Ann Coulter, May 17, 2003. "I think women should be armed but should not vote" Ann Coulter, February 26, 2001. |
#88
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
"~* Magda ~*" wrote in message ... On Tue, 08 Aug 2006 22:10:09 GMT, in alt.gossip.celebrities, "avery" arranged some electrons, so they looked like this: ... ... Don't blame me for your shoddy communication skills (term used charitably). ... Nobody questioned whether or not you were here -- that much is all too ... obvious. I guess I can only conclude that you consider your parents to be ... those repulsive breeders, which is kind of a sad way to go through life but, ... in a sense, explains a lot. If my English is not good enough for you, I can use three other languages. Interested? Are you pretending that you're too fabulously international to make any frickin' sense? How would scribbling your cranky, senseless nonsequiturs in French, Italian or German clear things up? Go right ahead if you need to show off (bearing in mind that I speak those three fluently as well, so there), but that doesn't obscure the fact that your retort made no sense at all. You know, the retort you accidentally chopped off of your last post. Here, just for convenience: ME: ... You wouldn't be here without those *breeders* who seem to repulse you so much. YOU: And I would know it - how, exactly? ME: Because you have parents? Were you harvested in a Petri dish? YOU: Are you a breeder too? Understanding levels low today? Again, sloooowwwwwly this time: if I wasn't here, how the hell would I know? |
#89
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
"~* Magda ~*" wrote in message ... On Wed, 09 Aug 2006 15:32:45 GMT, in alt.gossip.celebrities, "avery" arranged some electrons, so they looked like this: ... ... If my English is not good enough for you, I can use three other languages. ... Interested? ... ... Are you pretending that you're too fabulously international to make any ... frickin' sense? No, I am saying that I'm giving up on you. Clear now? Good! The only thing that's clear is that you realize that you've been busted writing nonsensical drivel that you can't explain (hence your careful editing of every response you write to delete it). I'm sure I can plod on with my life unenlightened as to precisely what you meant by the grumpy illiterate outburst that you hoped would be misconstrued as cultured *European* protestations too erudite and complex for the masses to grasp. |
#90
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The feminist view of breastfeeding
On Wed, 09 Aug 2006 19:46:20 +0200, ~* Magda ~* wrote:
On Wed, 9 Aug 2006 13:43:27 -0400, in alt.gossip.celebrities, JohnArbor arranged some electrons, so they looked like this: ... On Wed, 09 Aug 2006 19:33:21 +0200, ~* Magda ~* wrote: ... ... On Wed, 09 Aug 2006 15:32:45 GMT, in alt.gossip.celebrities, "avery" ... arranged some electrons, so they looked like this: ... ... ... ... ... If my English is not good enough for you, I can use three other languages. ... ... Interested? ... ... ... ... Are you pretending that you're too fabulously international to make any ... ... frickin' sense? ... ... No, I am saying that I'm giving up on you. ... ... ... and the French run up the white flag..... again. You wish. I am not even French, you sparkle... LOL dont you live in Paris? |
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