Question for co-sleepers

Caledonia wrote:
Amy wrote:
Where do your babies nap?

Thanks,
Amy

Thinking back, it was:

- crib (especially once rolling over became an issue)
- in the king-sized bed, perpendicular to the open side (if I was going
to be working on the laptop in the bedroom)
- the floor, on a folded polartec blanket (memories of my college
drinking days, with the axiom, "you can't fall off the floor").

More floor when young, more crib when older. The benefit of the floor
for me was that I was unlikely to fall asleep when nursing DD1 and DD2
to sleep.

Mine screams like we're killing her when we put her in the crib. I
have a big, dopey dog, too, so the floor isn't an option. Right now
she's up in the king sized bed, with a complex assortment of pillows on
all sides, hopefully still in the middle, and the pets are downstairs
with us.

Up until recently she took naps in her swing, but she's started this
arching-the-back thing that makes it really dangerous. I've thought
about taking the crib mattress and putting it under the swing (damn
thing's not getting used, anyway), but DH didn't love that idea.

I meant to crosspost this to misc.kids.breastfeeding, so I'm doing that
now...

Thanks,
Amy

"Amy" wrote in message
oups.com...

Caledonia wrote:
Amy wrote:
Where do your babies nap?

Thanks,
Amy

Thinking back, it was:

- crib (especially once rolling over became an issue)
- in the king-sized bed, perpendicular to the open side (if I was going
to be working on the laptop in the bedroom)
- the floor, on a folded polartec blanket (memories of my college
drinking days, with the axiom, "you can't fall off the floor").

More floor when young, more crib when older. The benefit of the floor
for me was that I was unlikely to fall asleep when nursing DD1 and DD2
to sleep.

Mine screams like we're killing her when we put her in the crib. I
have a big, dopey dog, too, so the floor isn't an option. Right now
she's up in the king sized bed, with a complex assortment of pillows on
all sides, hopefully still in the middle, and the pets are downstairs
with us.


Do you have any interesting crib toys and or mobiles in the crib? If so,
try putting her in the crib when she is awake and playful and happy, and
staying right next to her the whole time, touching her if need be. Rest
your hand on her tummy, and talk and laugh and sing her songs. Let her stay
in the crib for 5 minutes, or until she starts to look upset. Try again
later that day, and then lather, rinse, repeat. You aren't trying to leave
her there at this point, just introduce it to her in a pleasant way. After
a little bit, she should accept being in the crib during happy times, and
then you can transition her in during sleep, or sleepy times for naps or
nights.

We had that b&w mobile that was supposed to stimulate the brain (from back
in the 90's), and Taylor and Addie LOVED it as tiny babies...staring at it
like it was the most engrossing thing they'd seen in hours, days or weeks!
: )
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- Who's got the Christmas spirit, singing all day
long, "You put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking
out the doooo-oooo-ooor!
Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- My Little Ham, who smiles so big her eyes
disappear and she says, "Cheese" on command. Although it sounds more like
"eeeeeesssshhh"!

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password:
Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Amy wrote:

Mine screams like we're killing her when we put her in the crib. I
have a big, dopey dog, too, so the floor isn't an option. Right now
she's up in the king sized bed, with a complex assortment of pillows on
all sides, hopefully still in the middle, and the pets are downstairs
with us.

Up until recently she took naps in her swing, but she's started this
arching-the-back thing that makes it really dangerous. I've thought
about taking the crib mattress and putting it under the swing (damn
thing's not getting used, anyway), but DH didn't love that idea.

Does she always scream bloody murder when you
put her in the crib? (I.e., are there other times she
sleeps in the crib just fine?) Does she sleep well
anywhere else? Are you co-sleeping at night in the
bed that she's napping in? Has she ever slept in
the crib well?
I'm wondering if it's a situation where
she's wanting to sleep in the place that's
familiar, soft, cozy, smells like you, etc.
If that's the case, is there any way to make the
crib more like your bed? Make it cozy, add
something that smells like you? Sure, you're
not supposed to have soft bedding in there, but
how is it any worse to have pillows in the crib
if she's currently sleeping surrounded by pillows
in your bed? ;-)
When mine were newborns, they wanted to
sleep in more cozy spaces. We had a cradle with
a softer mattress, and they seemed to find that
cozier than the crib. In the first week or
two, sometimes even the cradle wasn't cozy
enough and they slept in a stroller or
with me or what have you. One even spent
a few days sleeping in a carseat. But, they'd
move to the cradle, and then eventually to the
crib.
I'm wondering if yours started out
needing a cozy space, and has now been accustomed
to a certain place or feeling and is therefore
rejecting the crib? If you can identify what
it is that she likes about her current spot,
maybe you can ease the transition to a new spot.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Jamie Clark wrote:

Do you have any interesting crib toys and or mobiles in the crib?

It's frigging Disneyland.

If so,
try putting her in the crib when she is awake and playful and happy, and
staying right next to her the whole time, touching her if need be. Rest
your hand on her tummy, and talk and laugh and sing her songs. Let her stay
in the crib for 5 minutes, or until she starts to look upset. Try again
later that day, and then lather, rinse, repeat. You aren't trying to leave
her there at this point, just introduce it to her in a pleasant way. After
a little bit, she should accept being in the crib during happy times, and
then you can transition her in during sleep, or sleepy times for naps or
nights.

I've been putting her in there to play (or so that I can go pee) when
she's awake and happy since she was born. Sometimes this has gone
better than others - but I've tried staying in there with her and
leaving her alone (long enough to pee), and she's usually fine until
the mobile runs out (it's a wind-up) or until the damn aquarium thing
goes off (whose idea was it to make that a 5 minute thing - didn't they
think about the kids who take 36 hours to fall asleep???) and then she
realizes I'm gone and screams.

You'd be amazed at how quickly I can shower. I can do it in one
wind-up of the mobile, if I wind it up naked, with the water already
running in the shower. Sad.

We had that b&w mobile that was supposed to stimulate the brain (from back
in the 90's), and Taylor and Addie LOVED it as tiny babies...staring at it
like it was the most engrossing thing they'd seen in hours, days or weeks!

She likes her mobile, but only when it's moving, and only when I'm
right there.

*sigh*

Thanks for the help!
Amy

Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Does she always scream bloody murder when you
put her in the crib?

Yes. Unless she's wide awake and in there to play - if I put her down
"sleepy" like they say to in the books, or if I nurse her almost to
sleep (heavy eyes, but her hands are still busy), her eyes pop open
like saucers as soon as she hits the mattress, and she shrieks like I'm
abandoning her.

(I.e., are there other times she
sleeps in the crib just fine?)

She's never slept in the crib. She slept in the cradle once or twice,
but we had to rock it the whole time.

Does she sleep well
anywhere else?

Her swing, until she started falling out of it, and her car seat (but
it takes some fussing and ignoring, usually about 10 minutes - she
likes motion, I guess).

Are you co-sleeping at night in the
bed that she's napping in?

We're co-sleeping in our bed - she's there now, but it doesn't seem
safe to leave her there while I go do things (and there are things that
simply must get done...). I've looked for rails on Amazon.com, but
they all specifically say that they're for use with kids who can get in
and out of bed on their own.

Has she ever slept in
the crib well?

Nope. She sleeps on me, in the swing, or in bed with me. Right now
I've got her fooled into thinking I'm in bed with her, by way of a
teddy bear. I'm hoping she doesn't suffocate on it between now and
when I go to bed in 30 minutes.

I'm wondering if it's a situation where
she's wanting to sleep in the place that's
familiar, soft, cozy, smells like you, etc.
If that's the case, is there any way to make the
crib more like your bed? Make it cozy, add
something that smells like you? Sure, you're
not supposed to have soft bedding in there, but
how is it any worse to have pillows in the crib
if she's currently sleeping surrounded by pillows
in your bed? ;-)

Well, there's a blanket that my mom made that she's always slept with,
and we tried putting that in there. I've tried a variety of small soft
toys (ones that she's strong enough to move on her own, if necessary -
beanie baby sized ones). I put knots in one of my scarves (silky) so
that it was too short to get around her neck, but it still had soft
ends that (probably) smell like me. We've got tube-style Christmas
lights on a clapper over the bed that come on if she cries enough,
we've got glow in the dark stars on the ceiling (her room is decorated
in stars), we've got the mobile, the Aquarium crib soother... She's
having none of it.

When mine were newborns, they wanted to
sleep in more cozy spaces. We had a cradle with
a softer mattress, and they seemed to find that
cozier than the crib.

We ended up keeping her toys in the cradle, and changing her diaper in
it, and she wouldn't go in it for anything else.

In the first week or
two, sometimes even the cradle wasn't cozy
enough and they slept in a stroller or
with me or what have you. One even spent
a few days sleeping in a carseat. But, they'd
move to the cradle, and then eventually to the
crib.

Yeah, that last sentence - how'd you do that? That's the part I'm
screwing up, somehow.

I'm wondering if yours started out
needing a cozy space, and has now been accustomed
to a certain place or feeling and is therefore
rejecting the crib?

As cozy as a king sized bed can be, I guess - that's really the only
place she's ever slept well, outside of her swing.

If you can identify what
it is that she likes about her current spot,
maybe you can ease the transition to a new spot.

Yeah, but *I* don't fit in the crib.

Maybe I'll just cut off my boob and give it to her. *sigh*

Thanks!
Amy

The b&w mobile that we had wasn't motorized and didn't have music. It was
just graphic, and swayed in the breeze. Fascinating.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- Who's got the Christmas spirit, singing all day
long, "You put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking
out the doooo-oooo-ooor!
Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- My Little Ham, who smiles so big her eyes
disappear and she says, "Cheese" on command. Although it sounds more like
"eeeeeesssshhh"!

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password:
Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

"Amy" wrote in message
oups.com...

Jamie Clark wrote:

Do you have any interesting crib toys and or mobiles in the crib?

It's frigging Disneyland.

If so,
try putting her in the crib when she is awake and playful and happy, and
staying right next to her the whole time, touching her if need be. Rest
your hand on her tummy, and talk and laugh and sing her songs. Let her
stay
in the crib for 5 minutes, or until she starts to look upset. Try again
later that day, and then lather, rinse, repeat. You aren't trying to
leave
her there at this point, just introduce it to her in a pleasant way.
After
a little bit, she should accept being in the crib during happy times, and
then you can transition her in during sleep, or sleepy times for naps or
nights.

I've been putting her in there to play (or so that I can go pee) when
she's awake and happy since she was born. Sometimes this has gone
better than others - but I've tried staying in there with her and
leaving her alone (long enough to pee), and she's usually fine until
the mobile runs out (it's a wind-up) or until the damn aquarium thing
goes off (whose idea was it to make that a 5 minute thing - didn't they
think about the kids who take 36 hours to fall asleep???) and then she
realizes I'm gone and screams.

You'd be amazed at how quickly I can shower. I can do it in one
wind-up of the mobile, if I wind it up naked, with the water already
running in the shower. Sad.

We had that b&w mobile that was supposed to stimulate the brain (from
back
in the 90's), and Taylor and Addie LOVED it as tiny babies...staring at
it
like it was the most engrossing thing they'd seen in hours, days or
weeks!

She likes her mobile, but only when it's moving, and only when I'm
right there.

*sigh*

Thanks for the help!
Amy

Amy wrote:
Ericka Kammerer wrote:

In the first week or
two, sometimes even the cradle wasn't cozy
enough and they slept in a stroller or
with me or what have you. One even spent
a few days sleeping in a carseat. But, they'd
move to the cradle, and then eventually to the
crib.

Yeah, that last sentence - how'd you do that? That's the part I'm
screwing up, somehow.

Here's my guess, which could be *completely*
off: I think it's natural for babies to *need* to be
warm and cozy and by Mom in the begining. But, what
starts out as a need can be reinforced by habit, even
when it's not really a need anymore. Baby doesn't
care if she *can* sleep alone in the crib. She's
gotten used to doing otherwise, and wants to do
what she's used to doing, and complains loudly
when you try to change the groundrules.
In my case, the transitions were probably
easier because we weren't co-sleeping (sorry, didn't
see that bit in your subject line), so there wasn't
really that much of a chance for baby to get wedded
to the notion of being in our bed. Baby always went
down in the cradle/crib/whatever initially (might
end up in bed with me later, but not at the start).
But that's not going to be particularly useful in
your case.
Still, I do think that helping recreate
the familiar environment might help. You can do
that in one of two ways--either making the crib
more like her preferred environment, or changing
her preferred environment to be more like the
crib. So, can you make the crib more cozy? Is
the mattress kind of stiff compared to the other
bed? In the other bed, do you lie down with
her to nurse her down, or do you nurse her elsewhere
and then put her in bed? If the former, maybe you
can switch to nursing her elsewhere before putting
her in bed to help get one step closer to the
crib environment (since you can't lay down in
the crib). Or, maybe the problem is that the
crib is too cold (hot water bottle? warmer
bedding?). Have you made the crib too stimulating
relative to the bed? Could you introduce something
that you could transfer to the crib (bedding,
pillow, blanket, lovey, a particular CD)? Maybe
it would be easier to start by gradually changing
her bedtime routine in your bed until it's something
you can nearly replicate in her crib before you make
the move to the crib.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Amy" wrote in message
oups.com...

Jamie Clark wrote:

Do you have any interesting crib toys and or mobiles in the crib?

It's frigging Disneyland.

LOL!

She likes her mobile, but only when it's moving, and only when I'm
right there.

*sigh*

Some kids just don't like cribs. Can you put a mattress on the floor and
keep the door closed so that the dogs don't come in to bother her? My kids
always went through a phase of sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

Amy wrote:
Mine screams like we're killing her when we put her in the crib. I
have a big, dopey dog, too, so the floor isn't an option. Right now
she's up in the king sized bed, with a complex assortment of pillows on
all sides, hopefully still in the middle, and the pets are downstairs
with us.

Up until recently she took naps in her swing, but she's started this
arching-the-back thing that makes it really dangerous. I've thought
about taking the crib mattress and putting it under the swing (damn
thing's not getting used, anyway), but DH didn't love that idea.

I meant to crosspost this to misc.kids.breastfeeding, so I'm doing that
now...


Mattress on the floor is all I've ever done. I close the bedroom door,
so there is no chance of dogs or other kids getting to baby. I use a
baby monitor to be able to hear when baby is up. I keep the room child
proofed, so that it is no big deal if baby explores, but none of mine
ever have explored much. They just sat there and yelled for me when
they woke up.

KC

Amy wrote:
Caledonia wrote:
Amy wrote:
Where do your babies nap?

Thanks,
Amy

Thinking back, it was:

- crib (especially once rolling over became an issue)
- in the king-sized bed, perpendicular to the open side (if I was going
to be working on the laptop in the bedroom)
- the floor, on a folded polartec blanket (memories of my college
drinking days, with the axiom, "you can't fall off the floor").

More floor when young, more crib when older. The benefit of the floor
for me was that I was unlikely to fall asleep when nursing DD1 and DD2
to sleep.

Mine screams like we're killing her when we put her in the crib. I
have a big, dopey dog, too, so the floor isn't an option. Right now
she's up in the king sized bed, with a complex assortment of pillows on
all sides, hopefully still in the middle, and the pets are downstairs
with us.

Up until recently she took naps in her swing, but she's started this
arching-the-back thing that makes it really dangerous. I've thought
about taking the crib mattress and putting it under the swing (damn
thing's not getting used, anyway), but DH didn't love that idea.

The problem with the swing for me was that I didn't feel comfortable
with a swinging baby and a dog (likewise big, dopey, but with a
moderate prey drive), and DD2 was able to stretch out her arm almost to
the point of hitting those side bar thingies.

Maybe put the crib mattress on the floor and nurse to sleep (er, okay,
that's what I did) -- presumably there must be some way of sequestering
the dog and baby...

The big pillows will be useful for the king-sized bed once your
daughter starts crawling .

Hope this helps,
Caledonia