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When have you stopped co-sleeping?



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 24th 04, 05:40 PM
Zucca4
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?

Is there a so-called "good time"? Our son turns three months today and we love
having him between us at night in our smallish Queen size bed. We could care
less about spit-up and peeps and poops on our sheets. It's made breastfeeding
so much easier for me and our baby goes to sleep when we do and wakes up when
we do and there is minimal waking up at night. When he whimpers I give him the
boob, he nurses for a bit a returns to sleep. We really love our little
arrnangement.

Of course we try not to listen to other people who tell us he'll be with us
until Kindergarten if we don't break him out of our "dirtly little habit" ,
but we don't care. We love our baby with us. Only problem is I think WE wake
HIM quite a bit with getting up for the bathroom, tossing and turning, coughing
etc. I'm wondering if we chose to put him into a crib (in our room) if there
would be a good time to do it and exactly how to phase our system out. At three
months are babies typically "re-trainable"? We don't want to upset him too
much.

In short:
When and how did you stop co-sleeping? Also why?

Thanks,
Lisa


  #2  
Old February 24th 04, 05:57 PM
Nikki
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?

Zucca4 wrote:

In short:
When and how did you stop co-sleeping? Also why?


Welllllllll, ;-) Here is my experience (and like everything else, other
people's experiences are different!).

I had no hope of getting Hunter out of my bed. From day one he'd sleep no
where but on me. Starting at about 4 he reliably started the night out in
his own bed. He'll be 5 in April and will generally stay in his own bed
until at least 5am.

Luke was a much better sleeper. He started the night out in his crib and I
would bring him to bed with me at 4am or so. At 3.5 months I set the crib
up side car and we slept that way. I had returned to work and was tired
with all the night waking. He slowly moved to sleeping right next to me
more and more. By 5 months we were gonners. He wouldn't sleep at night
anywhere but in my bed. I spent a month trying to gently change that while
everything else went to hell with no progress so at 6 months I did some
sleep training to get him to fall asleep in his crib. He stayed there for
2-3 hours. At 9-10 months we had some back sliding and I had to start
standing by his crib for him to fall asleep and he was never really on board
wit that idea. By 12 months he was falling asleep quicker in my bed so we
went back to that. He still only selpt for about 2 hours before he woke up
looking for me. Starting at about 2.5 I was able to get him to fall asleep
in his own bed with me sitting next to him (he wasn't to happy about this at
first). He'll be three in April and he'll stay in his own bed until 2-3am
about 50% of the time. Sometimes he'll wake up earlier.

So, if you want him in his own bed, my experience leads me to suggest
starting the transition sometime around 4mos old. If you don't care, that
is fine but in my experience...you're in it for the long haul ;-)

Basically I like co-sleeping. I struggle some with excessive night nursing
but the worst part of co-sleeping for me was that my babies/toddlers were
then only able to sleep if I was next to them. Not even dh, but me. My
kids slept about 12 hours. I need about 6 hours. If they stayed asleep at
the beginning of the night for 2 hours (and Hunter was about 18 months
before he'd do that and Luke was 12 months) then that left 10 hours. That
was 4 hours of time they wanted me in bed but that I didn't want to be
there. I found this incredibly hard to handle. Now, if only I was a person
that could sleep 10 hours a night, I'd be set!!

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)


  #3  
Old February 24th 04, 07:02 PM
Clisby
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?



Zucca4 wrote:
Is there a so-called "good time"? Our son turns three months today and we love
having him between us at night in our smallish Queen size bed. We could care
less about spit-up and peeps and poops on our sheets. It's made breastfeeding
so much easier for me and our baby goes to sleep when we do and wakes up when
we do and there is minimal waking up at night. When he whimpers I give him the
boob, he nurses for a bit a returns to sleep. We really love our little
arrnangement.

Of course we try not to listen to other people who tell us he'll be with us
until Kindergarten if we don't break him out of our "dirtly little habit" ,
but we don't care. We love our baby with us. Only problem is I think WE wake
HIM quite a bit with getting up for the bathroom, tossing and turning, coughing
etc. I'm wondering if we chose to put him into a crib (in our room) if there
would be a good time to do it and exactly how to phase our system out. At three
months are babies typically "re-trainable"? We don't want to upset him too
much.

In short:
When and how did you stop co-sleeping? Also why?

Thanks,
Lisa



We started out co-sleeping with our first, because she wouldn't sleep
anywhere but with us. By the time she was 3 months old, we'd start her
out in her crib, and she'd move into bed with us when she woke up at
night. (She was bottle-fed, so breastfeeding didn't come into it.)
When she was 4 months old, we moved her out of our room and put her to
bed in the crib - she slept longer in her own room, but we still brought
her back to bed with us whenever she woke up. By the time she was 9 or
10 months old, she'd sleep 10 hours at night, so we didn't co-sleep a
lot after that.

The thing is, if you like co-sleeping, why stop? There were things I
liked about it, but it completely wrecked *my* sleep, so I was glad to
stop.

My 2nd hasn't slept with us very often - he was OK with the crib from
the beginning. I'm about to have to re-train him, though. He's had 2
bouts of some stomach bug in 4 weeks - and since I sleep with him when
he's sick, he's now adamant that he wants to sleep with me, not in his
crib (he's 2.)

Clisby

  #4  
Old February 24th 04, 07:21 PM
Tine Andersen
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?


"Zucca4" skrev i en meddelelse
...
Of course we try not to listen to other people who tell us he'll be with

us
until Kindergarten if we don't break him out of our "dirtly little habit"

,

Yes, and.....? He'll be out before college - I promise. And if he's not you
have a completely different problem :-)

Tine, Denmark


  #5  
Old February 24th 04, 07:54 PM
Bruce and Jeanne
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?

Nikki wrote:


Basically I like co-sleeping. I struggle some with excessive night nursing
but the worst part of co-sleeping for me was that my babies/toddlers were
then only able to sleep if I was next to them. Not even dh, but me. My
kids slept about 12 hours. I need about 6 hours. If they stayed asleep at
the beginning of the night for 2 hours (and Hunter was about 18 months
before he'd do that and Luke was 12 months) then that left 10 hours. That
was 4 hours of time they wanted me in bed but that I didn't want to be
there. I found this incredibly hard to handle. Now, if only I was a person
that could sleep 10 hours a night, I'd be set!!



I was wondering - are they okay about sleeping in the same bed together?
Meaning they co-sleep, but not with you.

I'm hoping this type of situation works with my kids. DD (6.5 years old)
hates sleeping in a room alone. DS (8.5 months old) sleeps best if
physically touching someone, preferrably mom, but dad works too. When
DS hits 18 months (maybe sooner), I want to have *them* co-sleep in the
same bed.

Basically, I'm a non-co-sleeping mom with co-sleeping kids.

Jeanne
  #6  
Old February 24th 04, 08:00 PM
JennP
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?


"Zucca4" wrote in message
...

When and how did you stop co-sleeping? Also why?


Ds was 7 months when we moved him to his crib because it just wasn't working
anymore. In fact, I'd say I clung on to it since about 4-5 months and in
retrospect, we should have moved him out then. He just wasn't sleeping and
either were we.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
remove "no........spam" to reply


  #7  
Old February 24th 04, 08:16 PM
Nikki
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?

Bruce and Jeanne wrote:

I was wondering - are they okay about sleeping in the same bed
together? Meaning they co-sleep, but not with you.


They sleep fine that way but they still get up looking for me. Recently
Hunter started sleeping a little better so I put each in their own room
otherwise Luke would make Hunter bring him downstairs. Now Luke just cries
and I hear him, or he comes down on his own. In the last month I'm already
in bed a lot of the time so he just walks over to my room.

I'm hoping this type of situation works with my kids. DD (6.5 years
old) hates sleeping in a room alone. DS (8.5 months old) sleeps best
if physically touching someone, preferrably mom, but dad works too.


It might work a little better with a bigger age gap. Especially if your
older child is basically spending all night in a room.


Basically, I'm a non-co-sleeping mom with co-sleeping kids.


I hate it when things like that don't match up ;-) I'm a nurse for a year
mama and I have extended breastfeeding children, lol.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)


  #8  
Old February 24th 04, 09:48 PM
HollyLewis
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?

In short:
When and how did you stop co-sleeping? Also why?


Our son is 3 years old and we haven't stopped. (Though he's spent *part* of
probably two-thirds of all the nights of his life in his own bed -- first a
bassinet, then a crib, and now a twin-size bed -- he's almost always in with us
by the time we get up in the morning.)

I think the time to stop co-sleeping is when (1) one or more of the people in
the bed isn't sleeping well or enough, or (2) the child involved prefers to
sleep elsewhere than his parents' bed.

For families in which all members sleep fine in a shared bed, as far as I can
tell, the child usually departs more or less on his own sometime between age 3
and age 6. So, yes, you could certainly be still co-sleeping when your child
is in kindergarten, though it's relatively unlikely much beyond that. But if
you don't consider co-sleeping a "bad habit", what's wrong with that?

I do know people who trained their babies to sleep in a crib quite early,
because either the parents weren't comfortable or the baby truly slept better
that way. But remember that it's quite normal for a baby to wake, or
semi-wake, many times a night, and in fact this may be safer for them. Unless
your baby seems overtired during the day, don't conclude that his being wakened
by your movements means he's not getting enough sleep.

I also know people who've moved (or attempted to move) baby to a crib at
various ages from 2 months to 2 years. Age doesn't seem to be a very good
predictor of the relative ease or difficulty, nor the ultimate outcome, of
these efforts, as far as I can tell. Although some people claim that it's
easiest at 4-6 months, and there may be some truth to that, there are also an
awful lot of babies who sleep contentedly in cribs at 5 months but begin night
waking and crying for Mommy at 8 months.

In any event, if what you're doing is working for you, then keep doing it,
unless and until it ceases working. :-) And there's no reason you can't go
back and forth between co-sleeping and crib sleeping at various times for the
next couple of years, depending on what makes the most sense for your family at
any given time. Do what works for you NOW, instead of changing your habits
based on what you think will work better in 5 years. And if and when what's
working for you now stops working for you, THEN do something else! No sense in
borrowing trouble.

Holly
Mom to Camden, 3yo
EDD #2 6/8/04
  #10  
Old February 25th 04, 01:05 AM
Larry McMahan
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Default When have you stopped co-sleeping?

Oooooooh, this is complicated! :-) For both Clara and Niel, we set up a
single bed next to our queen and moved the baby onto the single. This
really doesn't count as quitting, just making the bed a lot bigger.

With Clara, we moved her to her own room at 16 months, but this was just
because Monika was pregnant with Niel. Monika still nursed Clara at night.
She just went to Clara's bed instead of Clara coming to ours. Still, Clara
was allowed in our bed after daylight.

This continued after Niel was born. When both were nursing at night (a
long, long time) Monika would switch from our bed to Clara's bed and back
maybe 6 or 8 times in a night. A good night would be only two or three!

Since we didn't have another in the wings, we didn't move Niel out into
his own room until he was about 3 1/2. Now Clara comes back into our
bed when she wakes, but he refuses and demands that Monika go cuddle him
in HIS bed. (until daylight, of course, when we insist we aren't moving
and he can come in with us!) :-) Uh, they are 6 and 4 now.

Does that answer your question.
Larry


Zucca4 writes:
: Is there a so-called "good time"? Our son turns three months today and we love
: having him between us at night in our smallish Queen size bed. We could care
: less about spit-up and peeps and poops on our sheets. It's made breastfeeding
: so much easier for me and our baby goes to sleep when we do and wakes up when
: we do and there is minimal waking up at night. When he whimpers I give him the
: boob, he nurses for a bit a returns to sleep. We really love our little
: arrnangement.

: Of course we try not to listen to other people who tell us he'll be with us
: until Kindergarten if we don't break him out of our "dirtly little habit" ,
: but we don't care. We love our baby with us. Only problem is I think WE wake
: HIM quite a bit with getting up for the bathroom, tossing and turning, coughing
: etc. I'm wondering if we chose to put him into a crib (in our room) if there
: would be a good time to do it and exactly how to phase our system out. At three
: months are babies typically "re-trainable"? We don't want to upset him too
: much.

: In short:
: When and how did you stop co-sleeping? Also why?

: Thanks,
: Lisa


 




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