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Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried
Shorly after our first child was born, one of our relatives gave us a
book about child rearing. We leafed through it, and noticed that it seemed a bit harsh. So we stuck it on the shelf, and didnt' think about it again until we had a second child, and both were becoming very difficult. This is what I mean by difficult: by the time they were just about to turn 2 and 3 years old, we would take them to a restaurant, and their behavior was so bad that often people nearby would comment on it, or even leave so they didn't have to be near us. So, we revisited the book. As I said, it seemed a bit harsh to us. For example, it employs what I can only describe as operant conditioning, the sort of thing you would employ to keep a dog from repeatedly peeing on your favorite easy chair. In our case, however, it was things like punching other children in the face at a McDonald's play place. We put into practice what the book describes, and over a 6 month period saw a remarkable improvement in our son's and daughter's behavior. Now they say "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome", and many people compliment us on their excellent behavior. You can also see a big difference when they are in a room with other children of their same age. The other kids will be throwing things, throwing fits, crying and yelling. Our children will find some toys and play relatively quietly, amusing themselves, and not being little terrors as they formerly were. I guess I could sum up the book with the saying "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". The book describes how you can proactively stop bad habits from becoming ingrained into a child's character. We no longer have to constantly chase after the kids and regularly tell them no in public. It is such a relief no longer being the parents everyone around us hates to be near in restaurants and such. Plus, the incidence of us having to spank our kids or put them in the corner is now only about 1/10 of what it used to be. Since the book made such a huge positive impact on us, I decided to look it up online. I was very surprised to see that on Amazon, for example, the overall review was relatively low. Then I took a look at the reviews themselves. The ones that were positive were all from people who actually read the book and put what the book said into practice. The negative reviews were very short, and often just had a comment about how bad the person thought spanking was. From looking over several dozen, it became clear that most of the people posting negative reviews had not even tried putting the principles in the book into practice, and many of them may not have even read the book themselves. In fact, it seemed like some sort of campaign by a group of people to discredit the book, which would have had fairly high reviews if it wasn't for all of the short responses from people critical of training children. The book is called "To Train Up a Child", by Michael & Debi Pearl. Here is a link to the first chapter online: http://www.gospeltruth.net/children/pearl_tuac.htm |
#2
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Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried
"slugbug" wrote in message ups.com... What did you switch them with, robots? |
#3
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Alternatives to the Pearls (was Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried)
On 24 Nov 2006 06:39:12 -0800, "slugbug" wrote:
This is what I mean by difficult: by the time they were just about to turn 2 and 3 years old, we would take them to a restaurant, and their behavior was so bad that often people nearby would comment on it, or even leave so they didn't have to be near us. Of course, you never tried gentle *discipline* instead of the Pearl's idiocy. If you *are* Christian, try: Positive Discipline in the Christian Home: Using the Bible to Develop Character and Strengthen Moral Values by Jane Ed.D. Nelsen Some free downloads he http://www.focusingonsolutions.com/ For the view of gentle Christian mothers go he http://www.gentlechristianmothers.co...discipline.php -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
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Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried
Well, if you can't find any other way to conTROLL your kids...
Just make sure you don't do it in public; if a cop sees you, you'll get in serious trouble! TH\here are always lots of cops out on paTROLL. -Andrea |
#6
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Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried
"andrea baker" wrote in message oups.com... Well, if you can't find any other way to conTROLL your kids... Just make sure you don't do it in public; if a cop sees you, you'll get in serious trouble! TH\here are always lots of cops out on paTROLL. -Andrea I think you have a problem with the caps lock key coming on. You also need to use a spell-checker. And learn some self control (spelled with only one 'l'). Jeff |
#7
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Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried
"Jeff" wrote in
news "andrea baker" wrote in message oups.com.. . Well, if you can't find any other way to conTROLL your kids... Just make sure you don't do it in public; if a cop sees you, you'll get in serious trouble! TH\here are always lots of cops out on paTROLL. -Andrea I think you have a problem with the caps lock key coming on. You also need to use a spell-checker. And learn some self control (spelled with only one 'l'). uh... Jeff? she's calling these particular posters trolls. that's why she is using words with 'trol' in them, & then emphasizing by the caps & double l. have another cup of coffee & reread with your humor meter turned on lee -- Question with boldness even the existence of god; because if there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. - Thomas Jefferson |
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Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried
In article , enigma says...
"Jeff" wrote in news "andrea baker" wrote in message oups.com.. . Well, if you can't find any other way to conTROLL your kids... Just make sure you don't do it in public; if a cop sees you, you'll get in serious trouble! TH\here are always lots of cops out on paTROLL. -Andrea I think you have a problem with the caps lock key coming on. You also need to use a spell-checker. And learn some self control (spelled with only one 'l'). uh... Jeff? she's calling these particular posters trolls. that's why she is using words with 'trol' in them, & then emphasizing by the caps & double l. have another cup of coffee & reread with your humor meter turned on lee Um, I think he was playing the straight man... Banty |
#9
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Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried
"Banty" wrote in message ... In article , enigma says... "Jeff" wrote in news "andrea baker" wrote in message oups.com.. . Well, if you can't find any other way to conTROLL your kids... Just make sure you don't do it in public; if a cop sees you, you'll get in serious trouble! TH\here are always lots of cops out on paTROLL. -Andrea I think you have a problem with the caps lock key coming on. You also need to use a spell-checker. And learn some self control (spelled with only one 'l'). uh... Jeff? she's calling these particular posters trolls. that's why she is using words with 'trol' in them, & then emphasizing by the caps & double l. have another cup of coffee & reread with your humor meter turned on lee Um, I think he was playing the straight man... Too strait, I guess. ;-) Jeff Banty |
#10
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Switching our kids was the best thing we ever tried
Er, Jeff, um, if you haven't quite figured it out yet, I was mocking
the troll who posted the initial post. Regards, Andrea Jeff wrote: "andrea baker" wrote in message oups.com... Well, if you can't find any other way to conTROLL your kids... Just make sure you don't do it in public; if a cop sees you, you'll get in serious trouble! TH\here are always lots of cops out on paTROLL. -Andrea I think you have a problem with the caps lock key coming on. You also need to use a spell-checker. And learn some self control (spelled with only one 'l'). Jeff |
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