Ok, I know what I should do... But... It's not that simple...

Well, I have this real good friend, who lives in Calgary, who's been having
some problems.
Quick rundown on her: She's 27 (next month) on her second marriage (her
husband was killed 2 years ago yesterday, actually) and her second marriage
only happend in June when she found out she was pregnant by her good friend,
who was best man at her first wedding. (I believe they were both drunk, and
it was a one night stand type thing)
So... She got married June, he's a useless piece of **** that I never cared
much for from the start. This September, **** happened, to keep the story
short, and she kicked him out of her house. (She has money, a good job, her
own house, cars, etc., and he has very little as far as life goes -
gambling, cars and bars is his life, it seems) She's been staying, since
September, mostly at her grandparents' place, here in Edmonton.
2 weeks ago, we went out together, then the next day she called me cause she
was having these babies right away, and I rushed to the other side of the
city, picked her up and took her to the hospital, and even stayed with her
for most of the time she was there. She had her babies 2 weeks ago on
Sunday (twin boys) and, from what I've seen directly, is a useless piece of
**** herself.
Again, she's been staying at her grandparents' place, and they're both older
than Moses, and on many, many occasions, over the past 2 weeks, has called
me up in the middle of the night, crying herself and all I could hear was
these babies screaming in the background. Every time I've told her to come
over to my place and I'd help her out. She stayed here the first time for 4
days, and I did my best to try and get both these babies on some type of a
schedule of feeding and sleeping that would be easier on her (even though
I'm sure we all know babies like to keep their own crazy schedules) I ended
up being able to have both babies sleep around the same times and get up to
eat around the same times, and I gave her a night where she could get some
sleep and I could get up in the middle of the night. (To me, this seems no
different than a couple both taking turns with feedings and all that, and I
didn't mind)
Now I am starting to mind. She's been coming over more and more and she
sleeps all day and all night, it seems, and I've been stuck doing her
parenting responsibilities.
I know, in a way, I've put myself in this position, and I know I should tell
her to grow up and be responsible for her own children, but I also know what
it's like to take care of a child with no one else around, and I know how
damn hard it was with one infant, and at the time, I could only imagine what
it would be like with 2, and especially her and the way she is.
It got so bad for me, with her just sleeping all day and night, that I would
put both babies on the floor in the bouncy chairs while she slept on the
couch, hoping as they cried that she would wake up and do something, but
there's only so much screaming I can take, and she just seems to sleep right
through it and ignores it. One day, I had LOTS of running around to do all
over the city, and she wouldn't get up, so I had to pack off all these kids
into the car and haul them around with me as I ran errands, and she had just
woken up shortly before I got home - hours later.
This is driving me insane. I DO know I should boot her ass out and tell her
to call me when she wants some HELP every now and then, not when she wants
me to raise her children while she sleeps all day and night. These babies
are almost 2 weeks old, and really, I think they've been seeing my face more
than their own mother's, and at 2 weeks old, I do not think that what she is
doing is right, or at any age, really. I know I should tell her I don't
mind watching them if she wants a night out or a bit of time to herself, but
really, it's been 2 weeks and she's already wanting time to herself without
worries??
Seriously, I know what I should be doing, but I also know that standing by
and knowing they'll be neglected is even worse, and really, the last things
I want is for her to neglect or ignore them, or to call child welfare and
have them take them away. I feel like I'm babysitting an adult child, as
well as 2 extra infants, but I just feel like I'm so trapped...
I know this is stupid, and yes, I made my own bed, but really, what would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in a
lose-lose situation?

what would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in a
lose-lose situation?

I think you know what I'd do, but I'm the judgmental bitch. Really you have to
think of the children, not you and not your friend. And if you aren't going to
raise the children for her and she is not a fit mother...think of what is best
for the children and it should be a little less complicated.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

"Joelle" wrote in message
...
what would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in a
lose-lose situation?

I think you know what I'd do, but I'm the judgmental bitch. Really you
have to
think of the children, not you and not your friend. And if you aren't
going to
raise the children for her and she is not a fit mother...think of what is
best
for the children and it should be a little less complicated.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

Yes, but all I know is that I don't think a foster home is better for them.
I don't think bouncing around from foster home to foster home is better at
all. I cannot place them for adoption, nor can I seem to get through to her
and make her see what I'm sure she knows she should do.
I'm even getting to the point where I've been debating on calling that idiot
father and telling him to get his act together. She doesn't want him around
until he can stop drinking, and I agree with her 100% there. As much as I
don't like that fool, I do think he'd make a damn good dad, IF he can
control his drinking, because he's not that bad of a guy under normal
circumstances, there's just something about him I don't like (maybe
personality clash?) and he WANTS to see his kids. I don't know if I should
contact him and see what is going on or not.
It's just the little things... Instead of sleeping at night when I'm willing
to get up, and getting up in the day when I'm up as well and trying to learn
things or see what might or might not work for her, she's just... I don't
know... I was feeding them laying down on my bed, half watching TV with one
on each side of me with them laying the opposite direction I was and holding
bottles in each mouth, and she came in, saying that the nurse at the
hospital had told her she should hold the babies when feeding them... I lost
it and told her that she should then be holding her babies to feed them, and
how it's impossible, for me, to bottle feed them both at the same time while
holding one in each arm (obviously it's easier to hold both with a boob in
each mouth) but holding 2 bottles and 2 babies with only 2 arms was just
impossible. She got mad when I told her that she should then take the
advice of the nurse at the hospital and hold her babies to feed them. It's
just really nuts...

kat wrote in message
news:AKVvb.19452$IZ1.15490@edtnps84...

"Joelle" wrote in message
...
what would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in a
lose-lose situation?

I think you know what I'd do, but I'm the judgmental bitch. Really you
have to
think of the children, not you and not your friend. And if you aren't
going to
raise the children for her and she is not a fit mother...think of what
is
best
for the children and it should be a little less complicated.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

Yes, but all I know is that I don't think a foster home is better for
them.
I don't think bouncing around from foster home to foster home is better at
all. I cannot place them for adoption, nor can I seem to get through to
her
and make her see what I'm sure she knows she should do.
I'm even getting to the point where I've been debating on calling that
idiot
father and telling him to get his act together. She doesn't want him
around
until he can stop drinking, and I agree with her 100% there. As much as I
don't like that fool, I do think he'd make a damn good dad, IF he can
control his drinking, because he's not that bad of a guy under normal
circumstances, there's just something about him I don't like (maybe
personality clash?) and he WANTS to see his kids. I don't know if I
should
contact him and see what is going on or not.
It's just the little things... Instead of sleeping at night when I'm
willing
to get up, and getting up in the day when I'm up as well and trying to
learn
things or see what might or might not work for her, she's just... I don't
know... I was feeding them laying down on my bed, half watching TV with
one
on each side of me with them laying the opposite direction I was and
holding
bottles in each mouth, and she came in, saying that the nurse at the
hospital had told her she should hold the babies when feeding them... I
lost
it and told her that she should then be holding her babies to feed them,
and
how it's impossible, for me, to bottle feed them both at the same time
while
holding one in each arm (obviously it's easier to hold both with a boob in
each mouth) but holding 2 bottles and 2 babies with only 2 arms was just
impossible. She got mad when I told her that she should then take the
advice of the nurse at the hospital and hold her babies to feed them.
It's
just really nuts...



She is taking advantage of you. Explain to her how YOU have been raising the
babies, the schedule YOU have tried to get the babies on, ect and tell her
ass to go home. Tough love type thing..... some people will very easily let
someone else do their work for them. If it wasn't you, it would have been
Grandma or someone else. Let her know you are still there for her but that
she will also have to work through the tough times, just like any mother
did. And yes, I am sure being a single mother of twins is hard but it sounds
like she has gotten a lot of sleep. She should be more prepared then most
parents ever are. lol

T

"kat" wrote in message
news:vnVvb.19182$IZ1.13878@edtnps84...
Well, I have this real good friend, who lives in Calgary, who's been
having
some problems.
Quick rundown on her: She's 27 (next month) on her second marriage (her
husband was killed 2 years ago yesterday, actually) and her second
marriage
only happend in June when she found out she was pregnant by her good
friend,
who was best man at her first wedding. (I believe they were both drunk,
and
it was a one night stand type thing)
So... She got married June, he's a useless piece of **** that I never
cared
much for from the start. This September, **** happened, to keep the story
short, and she kicked him out of her house. (She has money, a good job,
her
own house, cars, etc., and he has very little as far as life goes -
gambling, cars and bars is his life, it seems) She's been staying, since
September, mostly at her grandparents' place, here in Edmonton.
2 weeks ago, we went out together, then the next day she called me cause
she
was having these babies right away, and I rushed to the other side of the
city, picked her up and took her to the hospital, and even stayed with her
for most of the time she was there. She had her babies 2 weeks ago on
Sunday (twin boys) and, from what I've seen directly, is a useless piece
of
**** herself.
Again, she's been staying at her grandparents' place, and they're both
older
than Moses, and on many, many occasions, over the past 2 weeks, has called
me up in the middle of the night, crying herself and all I could hear was
these babies screaming in the background. Every time I've told her to
come
over to my place and I'd help her out. She stayed here the first time for
4
days, and I did my best to try and get both these babies on some type of a
schedule of feeding and sleeping that would be easier on her (even though
I'm sure we all know babies like to keep their own crazy schedules) I
ended
up being able to have both babies sleep around the same times and get up
to
eat around the same times, and I gave her a night where she could get some
sleep and I could get up in the middle of the night. (To me, this seems
no
different than a couple both taking turns with feedings and all that, and
I
didn't mind)
Now I am starting to mind. She's been coming over more and more and she
sleeps all day and all night, it seems, and I've been stuck doing her
parenting responsibilities.
I know, in a way, I've put myself in this position, and I know I should
tell
her to grow up and be responsible for her own children, but I also know
what
it's like to take care of a child with no one else around, and I know how
damn hard it was with one infant, and at the time, I could only imagine
what
it would be like with 2, and especially her and the way she is.
It got so bad for me, with her just sleeping all day and night, that I
would
put both babies on the floor in the bouncy chairs while she slept on the
couch, hoping as they cried that she would wake up and do something, but
there's only so much screaming I can take, and she just seems to sleep
right
through it and ignores it. One day, I had LOTS of running around to do
all
over the city, and she wouldn't get up, so I had to pack off all these
kids
into the car and haul them around with me as I ran errands, and she had
just
woken up shortly before I got home - hours later.
This is driving me insane. I DO know I should boot her ass out and tell
her
to call me when she wants some HELP every now and then, not when she wants
me to raise her children while she sleeps all day and night. These
babies
are almost 2 weeks old, and really, I think they've been seeing my face
more
than their own mother's, and at 2 weeks old, I do not think that what she
is
doing is right, or at any age, really. I know I should tell her I don't
mind watching them if she wants a night out or a bit of time to herself,
but
really, it's been 2 weeks and she's already wanting time to herself
without
worries??
Seriously, I know what I should be doing, but I also know that standing by
and knowing they'll be neglected is even worse, and really, the last
things
I want is for her to neglect or ignore them, or to call child welfare and
have them take them away. I feel like I'm babysitting an adult child, as
well as 2 extra infants, but I just feel like I'm so trapped...
I know this is stupid, and yes, I made my own bed, but really, what would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in a
lose-lose situation?


Well from someone who was 19 and had twin boys on my own... I can see how
hard it is for her and without the help of my parents I would have gone
insane. However, they offered emotional support and an occasional extra set
of arms, *I* was responsible for raising them. Your friend may be depressed
and should see someone... but you need to have a heart to heart with this
woman. She's 27 years old and she decided to keep these babies and it's HER
job to raise them, not yours. So quit enabling her. She needs to get her
**** together and fast for her sake as well as those kids. You are a good
friend, Kat and she's lucky you're there for her, but don't be there for her
so much that she uses you.

Christine

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

kat wrote in message
news:AKVvb.19452$IZ1.15490@edtnps84...

"Joelle" wrote in message
...
what would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in
a
lose-lose situation?

I think you know what I'd do, but I'm the judgmental bitch. Really
you
have to
think of the children, not you and not your friend. And if you aren't
going to
raise the children for her and she is not a fit mother...think of what
is
best
for the children and it should be a little less complicated.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page -
St
Augustine
Joelle

Yes, but all I know is that I don't think a foster home is better for
them.
I don't think bouncing around from foster home to foster home is better
at
all. I cannot place them for adoption, nor can I seem to get through to
her
and make her see what I'm sure she knows she should do.
I'm even getting to the point where I've been debating on calling that
idiot
father and telling him to get his act together. She doesn't want him
around
until he can stop drinking, and I agree with her 100% there. As much as
I
don't like that fool, I do think he'd make a damn good dad, IF he can
control his drinking, because he's not that bad of a guy under normal
circumstances, there's just something about him I don't like (maybe
personality clash?) and he WANTS to see his kids. I don't know if I
should
contact him and see what is going on or not.
It's just the little things... Instead of sleeping at night when I'm
willing
to get up, and getting up in the day when I'm up as well and trying to
learn
things or see what might or might not work for her, she's just... I
don't
know... I was feeding them laying down on my bed, half watching TV with
one
on each side of me with them laying the opposite direction I was and
holding
bottles in each mouth, and she came in, saying that the nurse at the
hospital had told her she should hold the babies when feeding them... I
lost
it and told her that she should then be holding her babies to feed them,
and
how it's impossible, for me, to bottle feed them both at the same time
while
holding one in each arm (obviously it's easier to hold both with a boob
in
each mouth) but holding 2 bottles and 2 babies with only 2 arms was just
impossible. She got mad when I told her that she should then take the
advice of the nurse at the hospital and hold her babies to feed them.
It's
just really nuts...



She is taking advantage of you. Explain to her how YOU have been raising
the
babies, the schedule YOU have tried to get the babies on, ect and tell her
ass to go home. Tough love type thing..... some people will very easily
let
someone else do their work for them. If it wasn't you, it would have been
Grandma or someone else. Let her know you are still there for her but that
she will also have to work through the tough times, just like any mother
did. And yes, I am sure being a single mother of twins is hard but it
sounds
like she has gotten a lot of sleep. She should be more prepared then most
parents ever are. lol

T

She's just a spoiled brat. She's a triplet, and all three of them are
spoiled rotten, but she's the worst one. Her grandparents don't help much,
I know, mainly because they have to be at least 218 years old, maybe 219. I
don't think grandparents should be expected to raise their grandchildren if
the parent(s) are perfectly capable of doing so. A spoiled rotten brat
doesn't count as being incapable. The only reason she's staying at her
grandparents' place is because of the whole problems with him thing. So
yes, her house is sitting empty right now.
Just a few mins ago, I told her tomorrow morning to go home, be it her
grandparents' place or her own house. I was going to tell her to leave
right now, but it's already almost 9:30 at night, and dark and cold out.
Tomorrow morning is fine with me, and I think I made my point clear earlier
because she didn't get mad at me. She gave me the whole crying bit about
she doesn't know what to do, and when I asked her what she figured I was
doing for, basically, the better part of the last 2 weeks, she had no
answer.
She has my number. She knows where I live. She knows she can find me if
she needs, but before I even came here, I told her that I'm sick of this and
can't handle it right now.
I did my best to try and get some workable schedule out, and tonight, she is
getting up with me every time the babies do and I'll show her exactly what
I've been doing and exactly how I've been doing it, and she can either take
it or leave it.
I can handle another night because I know that's all it's going to be. I'm
done with babies, but every now and then it's a nice change and fun, until
it turns into day after day after day.
I just feel bad for kicking her out, but really, I can't have a million
people living with me, nor do I have the space or time for it... I just feel
bad about it all, yet I can't really pinpoint why...

kat wrote in message
news:JRWvb.20928$IZ1.17706@edtnps84...
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

kat wrote in message
news:AKVvb.19452$IZ1.15490@edtnps84...

"Joelle" wrote in message
...


I just feel bad for kicking her out, but really, I can't have a million
people living with me, nor do I have the space or time for it... I just
feel
bad about it all, yet I can't really pinpoint why...


Don't feel bad for 'kicking' her out! Hun, she has 2 places to go! Were she
homeless, that would be another story. Don't sweat it..... enjoy your last
night with the babies.

T

"kat" wrote in message
news:AKVvb.19452$IZ1.15490@edtnps84...

"Joelle" wrote in message
...
what would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in a
lose-lose situation?

I think you know what I'd do, but I'm the judgmental bitch. Really you
have to
think of the children, not you and not your friend. And if you aren't
going to
raise the children for her and she is not a fit mother...think of what
is
best
for the children and it should be a little less complicated.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

Yes, but all I know is that I don't think a foster home is better for
them.
I don't think bouncing around from foster home to foster home is better at
all. I cannot place them for adoption, nor can I seem to get through to
her
and make her see what I'm sure she knows she should do.

Could she possibly have a case of post-partum depression? If so, maybe
appropriate treatment would make a big difference. Not that this is your
responsibility either - but maybe it would help to suggest she talk to her
doctor about the possibility.
Joy

"Joy" fairly_happy_doesn't_need_any_more_spam@withoutsp amyahoo.com wrote
in message .. .

"kat" wrote in message
news:AKVvb.19452$IZ1.15490@edtnps84...

"Joelle" wrote in message
...
what would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in
a
lose-lose situation?

I think you know what I'd do, but I'm the judgmental bitch. Really
you
have to
think of the children, not you and not your friend. And if you aren't
going to
raise the children for her and she is not a fit mother...think of what
is
best
for the children and it should be a little less complicated.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page -
St
Augustine
Joelle

Yes, but all I know is that I don't think a foster home is better for
them.
I don't think bouncing around from foster home to foster home is better
at
all. I cannot place them for adoption, nor can I seem to get through to
her
and make her see what I'm sure she knows she should do.

Could she possibly have a case of post-partum depression? If so, maybe
appropriate treatment would make a big difference. Not that this is your
responsibility either - but maybe it would help to suggest she talk to her
doctor about the possibility.
Joy

No, I don't really think that's the case. I do believe she just has a case
of spoiled-bratism, and that's been with her since the day she was born.
She's always been the one who was most spoiled, Daddy's Girl, and all she
had to ever do, and still does, is look at something, bat her eyelashes and
it's hers. Maybe she IS depressed, but I think it's more along the lines of
her realizing, slowly, that she's not the only person in this world, and
that the earth doesn't revolve around HER only...

"CME" wrote in message
news:2JWvb.20658$IZ1.7854@edtnps84...

"kat" wrote in message
news:vnVvb.19182$IZ1.13878@edtnps84...
Well, I have this real good friend, who lives in Calgary, who's been
having
some problems.
Quick rundown on her: She's 27 (next month) on her second marriage (her
husband was killed 2 years ago yesterday, actually) and her second
marriage
only happend in June when she found out she was pregnant by her good
friend,
who was best man at her first wedding. (I believe they were both drunk,
and
it was a one night stand type thing)
So... She got married June, he's a useless piece of **** that I never
cared
much for from the start. This September, **** happened, to keep the
story
short, and she kicked him out of her house. (She has money, a good job,
her
own house, cars, etc., and he has very little as far as life goes -
gambling, cars and bars is his life, it seems) She's been staying,
since
September, mostly at her grandparents' place, here in Edmonton.
2 weeks ago, we went out together, then the next day she called me cause
she
was having these babies right away, and I rushed to the other side of
the
city, picked her up and took her to the hospital, and even stayed with
her
for most of the time she was there. She had her babies 2 weeks ago on
Sunday (twin boys) and, from what I've seen directly, is a useless piece
of
**** herself.
Again, she's been staying at her grandparents' place, and they're both
older
than Moses, and on many, many occasions, over the past 2 weeks, has
called
me up in the middle of the night, crying herself and all I could hear
was
these babies screaming in the background. Every time I've told her to
come
over to my place and I'd help her out. She stayed here the first time
for
4
days, and I did my best to try and get both these babies on some type of
a
schedule of feeding and sleeping that would be easier on her (even
though
I'm sure we all know babies like to keep their own crazy schedules) I
ended
up being able to have both babies sleep around the same times and get up
to
eat around the same times, and I gave her a night where she could get
some
sleep and I could get up in the middle of the night. (To me, this seems
no
different than a couple both taking turns with feedings and all that,
and
I
didn't mind)
Now I am starting to mind. She's been coming over more and more and she
sleeps all day and all night, it seems, and I've been stuck doing her
parenting responsibilities.
I know, in a way, I've put myself in this position, and I know I should
tell
her to grow up and be responsible for her own children, but I also know
what
it's like to take care of a child with no one else around, and I know
how
damn hard it was with one infant, and at the time, I could only imagine
what
it would be like with 2, and especially her and the way she is.
It got so bad for me, with her just sleeping all day and night, that I
would
put both babies on the floor in the bouncy chairs while she slept on the
couch, hoping as they cried that she would wake up and do something, but
there's only so much screaming I can take, and she just seems to sleep
right
through it and ignores it. One day, I had LOTS of running around to do
all
over the city, and she wouldn't get up, so I had to pack off all these
kids
into the car and haul them around with me as I ran errands, and she had
just
woken up shortly before I got home - hours later.
This is driving me insane. I DO know I should boot her ass out and tell
her
to call me when she wants some HELP every now and then, not when she
wants
me to raise her children while she sleeps all day and night. These
babies
are almost 2 weeks old, and really, I think they've been seeing my face
more
than their own mother's, and at 2 weeks old, I do not think that what
she
is
doing is right, or at any age, really. I know I should tell her I don't
mind watching them if she wants a night out or a bit of time to herself,
but
really, it's been 2 weeks and she's already wanting time to herself
without
worries??
Seriously, I know what I should be doing, but I also know that standing
by
and knowing they'll be neglected is even worse, and really, the last
things
I want is for her to neglect or ignore them, or to call child welfare
and
have them take them away. I feel like I'm babysitting an adult child,
as
well as 2 extra infants, but I just feel like I'm so trapped...
I know this is stupid, and yes, I made my own bed, but really, what
would
you do if you were in a similar situation, but felt like you were in a
lose-lose situation?


Well from someone who was 19 and had twin boys on my own... I can see how
hard it is for her and without the help of my parents I would have gone
insane.

Her parents live in New Jersey, but I do wonder where all her "cool" and
"fun" friends are anyways... Her brother and sister both live in Calgary,
and her brother has a little girl of his own, and she's gotta be about 5 by
now, and although her grandparents are kind of useless in the actual hands
on part of helping, I know them, and well, and they are definitely very
supportive in every other way, so it's not like she has absolutely NO ONE at
all.

However, they offered emotional support and an occasional extra set
of arms, *I* was responsible for raising them.

I, half jokingly, suggested she should hire some kind of nanny or something.
She has enough money to hire nannies for every one of us here, with a bit of
extra money to throw around after that, and I think she actually took my
suggestion, which was basically a joke she must have missed, somewhat
seriously. Maybe that is a good thing, but then again, she just might pass
her responsibilities onto someone else, but then, at least, they'd be cared
for, with her still actually there.

Your friend may be depressed
and should see someone...

I think just spoiled, as I said somewhere up a bit in this thread... She
should see someone alright... Believe me, I know this already, although I'd
be hesitant to believe it would have anything to do with depression...

but you need to have a heart to heart with this
woman.

Oh yea, heart to heart conversations with her turn into pure stupidity. She
sort of does the, "I heard you, but really, I only heard what I want to, and
the rest is all just silly talk if I didn't like what you had to say." For
being such a smart, intelligent and sharp person, she has such a head full
of bubbles that I hope pop and turn into brain cells really, really soon.

She's 27 years old and she decided to keep these babies and it's HER
job to raise them, not yours. So quit enabling her. She needs to get her
**** together and fast for her sake as well as those kids.

I know this, and I think she does too. I looked up some numbers for places
that offer classes and support for new mothers, and I put the paper I
printed off on her head when she was sleeping... Half an hour ago, when I
went downstairs, the paper was still on her face... lol Maybe she'll get my
point? Again, I don't think she's depressed at all. I think she just
totally lacks the parenting skills that many might pick up from their own
parents, and the natural mothering skills are lost somewhere between her
video gaming skills and her car racing skills...

You are a good
friend, Kat and she's lucky you're there for her, but don't be there for
her
so much that she uses you.

I tried my best, thinking I was helping, but now it seems that I've done
more damage and let it happen.

Christine