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#1
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Chances of custody...
Hello all,
I have applied for custody of my 5yr old son, and I am now waiting on a date for the first court formalities to get under way. I think I have almost no chance, but would love your open and honest opinions. My ex girlfriend fell pregnant with my son Gary when she was 16. I was 17. I tried to stick around for as long as possible, but she was violont, jealous and unpredictable. She was also depressed, and eventually I couldnt take staying with her any longer. That was 5 years ago. I have always had regular contact with Gary, and residential weekend contact has been going on for over a year now. Unfortunately, every three or four months, his mother tries to leave her current partner, ends up in a violent fight with him, lots of alcohol and allegations of domestic abuse etc. She has had police involved several times, and eventually always retracts what she has alleged blaming the "drink talk". Needless to say, I get very angry about young Gary having to see and hear this nonsense, and whilst I am sure no laws are being broken, I know it is messing his head up. My question is this: Is the courts only concern the total and absolute welare of my son? Is it a case of if he is safer and better off living with me that I will get custody, or does there need to be grave and serious conerns about his wellbeing at home with his mother? Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I do not know how many friends Gary has back at home, and whether or not this matters - but he has VERY close friends back here with me. His best friend, a girl from downstairs stays every saturday night, and they have a great time watching DVD's, going swimming etc etc. I know I am going on a bit, but the point is this: - Gary is happier here - I have more than enough money to provide for him - I work when I want, and can spend as much time with Gary as he needs - My partner loves him like her own, and he feels this - Our home is more stable Back with his mum it is: - Unemployed mum, no chance of working - Stepdad working for pizza delivery company, his fourth or fifth job in as many months - Very small income - Frequent allegations of domestic violonce, and rape - which are always retracted - Frequesnt split ups and other domestic problems - They have moved house three times in past 18 months Like I said at the beginning of this email, I am not expecting to walk away with anything more than what I already have - weekend contact, but I hope, pray and wish for so much more. Any fairytales that you guys can share or I am I in for dissappointment? Thanks!! Gary Snr. |
#2
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Chances of custody...
If you were here in the states no Judge would award her custody. If Florida,
abuse in front of a child is neglect even taking drugs or getting high is considered child abuse. I don't know how the state runs things over there but I am in the area of Child welfare and I think the judge would place him with you if the proper complaints were made to the child enforcement staff. "Gary" wrote in message ... Hello all, I have applied for custody of my 5yr old son, and I am now waiting on a date for the first court formalities to get under way. I think I have almost no chance, but would love your open and honest opinions. My ex girlfriend fell pregnant with my son Gary when she was 16. I was 17. I tried to stick around for as long as possible, but she was violont, jealous and unpredictable. She was also depressed, and eventually I couldnt take staying with her any longer. That was 5 years ago. I have always had regular contact with Gary, and residential weekend contact has been going on for over a year now. Unfortunately, every three or four months, his mother tries to leave her current partner, ends up in a violent fight with him, lots of alcohol and allegations of domestic abuse etc. She has had police involved several times, and eventually always retracts what she has alleged blaming the "drink talk". Needless to say, I get very angry about young Gary having to see and hear this nonsense, and whilst I am sure no laws are being broken, I know it is messing his head up. My question is this: Is the courts only concern the total and absolute welare of my son? Is it a case of if he is safer and better off living with me that I will get custody, or does there need to be grave and serious conerns about his wellbeing at home with his mother? Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I do not know how many friends Gary has back at home, and whether or not this matters - but he has VERY close friends back here with me. His best friend, a girl from downstairs stays every saturday night, and they have a great time watching DVD's, going swimming etc etc. I know I am going on a bit, but the point is this: - Gary is happier here - I have more than enough money to provide for him - I work when I want, and can spend as much time with Gary as he needs - My partner loves him like her own, and he feels this - Our home is more stable Back with his mum it is: - Unemployed mum, no chance of working - Stepdad working for pizza delivery company, his fourth or fifth job in as many months - Very small income - Frequent allegations of domestic violonce, and rape - which are always retracted - Frequesnt split ups and other domestic problems - They have moved house three times in past 18 months Like I said at the beginning of this email, I am not expecting to walk away with anything more than what I already have - weekend contact, but I hope, pray and wish for so much more. Any fairytales that you guys can share or I am I in for dissappointment? Thanks!! Gary Snr. |
#3
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Chances of custody...
If you were here in the states no Judge would award her custody. If Florida,
abuse in front of a child is neglect even taking drugs or getting high is considered child abuse. I don't know how the state runs things over there but I am in the area of Child welfare and I think the judge would place him with you if the proper complaints were made to the child enforcement staff. "Gary" wrote in message ... Hello all, I have applied for custody of my 5yr old son, and I am now waiting on a date for the first court formalities to get under way. I think I have almost no chance, but would love your open and honest opinions. My ex girlfriend fell pregnant with my son Gary when she was 16. I was 17. I tried to stick around for as long as possible, but she was violont, jealous and unpredictable. She was also depressed, and eventually I couldnt take staying with her any longer. That was 5 years ago. I have always had regular contact with Gary, and residential weekend contact has been going on for over a year now. Unfortunately, every three or four months, his mother tries to leave her current partner, ends up in a violent fight with him, lots of alcohol and allegations of domestic abuse etc. She has had police involved several times, and eventually always retracts what she has alleged blaming the "drink talk". Needless to say, I get very angry about young Gary having to see and hear this nonsense, and whilst I am sure no laws are being broken, I know it is messing his head up. My question is this: Is the courts only concern the total and absolute welare of my son? Is it a case of if he is safer and better off living with me that I will get custody, or does there need to be grave and serious conerns about his wellbeing at home with his mother? Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I do not know how many friends Gary has back at home, and whether or not this matters - but he has VERY close friends back here with me. His best friend, a girl from downstairs stays every saturday night, and they have a great time watching DVD's, going swimming etc etc. I know I am going on a bit, but the point is this: - Gary is happier here - I have more than enough money to provide for him - I work when I want, and can spend as much time with Gary as he needs - My partner loves him like her own, and he feels this - Our home is more stable Back with his mum it is: - Unemployed mum, no chance of working - Stepdad working for pizza delivery company, his fourth or fifth job in as many months - Very small income - Frequent allegations of domestic violonce, and rape - which are always retracted - Frequesnt split ups and other domestic problems - They have moved house three times in past 18 months Like I said at the beginning of this email, I am not expecting to walk away with anything more than what I already have - weekend contact, but I hope, pray and wish for so much more. Any fairytales that you guys can share or I am I in for dissappointment? Thanks!! Gary Snr. |
#4
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Chances of custody...
If you were here in the states no Judge would award her custody. If Florida,
abuse in front of a child is neglect even taking drugs or getting high is considered child abuse. I don't know how the state runs things over there but I am in the area of Child welfare and I think the judge would place him with you if the proper complaints were made to the child enforcement staff. "Gary" wrote in message ... Hello all, I have applied for custody of my 5yr old son, and I am now waiting on a date for the first court formalities to get under way. I think I have almost no chance, but would love your open and honest opinions. My ex girlfriend fell pregnant with my son Gary when she was 16. I was 17. I tried to stick around for as long as possible, but she was violont, jealous and unpredictable. She was also depressed, and eventually I couldnt take staying with her any longer. That was 5 years ago. I have always had regular contact with Gary, and residential weekend contact has been going on for over a year now. Unfortunately, every three or four months, his mother tries to leave her current partner, ends up in a violent fight with him, lots of alcohol and allegations of domestic abuse etc. She has had police involved several times, and eventually always retracts what she has alleged blaming the "drink talk". Needless to say, I get very angry about young Gary having to see and hear this nonsense, and whilst I am sure no laws are being broken, I know it is messing his head up. My question is this: Is the courts only concern the total and absolute welare of my son? Is it a case of if he is safer and better off living with me that I will get custody, or does there need to be grave and serious conerns about his wellbeing at home with his mother? Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I do not know how many friends Gary has back at home, and whether or not this matters - but he has VERY close friends back here with me. His best friend, a girl from downstairs stays every saturday night, and they have a great time watching DVD's, going swimming etc etc. I know I am going on a bit, but the point is this: - Gary is happier here - I have more than enough money to provide for him - I work when I want, and can spend as much time with Gary as he needs - My partner loves him like her own, and he feels this - Our home is more stable Back with his mum it is: - Unemployed mum, no chance of working - Stepdad working for pizza delivery company, his fourth or fifth job in as many months - Very small income - Frequent allegations of domestic violonce, and rape - which are always retracted - Frequesnt split ups and other domestic problems - They have moved house three times in past 18 months Like I said at the beginning of this email, I am not expecting to walk away with anything more than what I already have - weekend contact, but I hope, pray and wish for so much more. Any fairytales that you guys can share or I am I in for dissappointment? Thanks!! Gary Snr. |
#5
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Chances of custody...
"Gary" wrote:
Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I don't know how the law works in the U.K., but here in the USA, depending on the state, it could go either way. It does not sounds as if you have a stable long-term relationship (marriage), either, but it certainly appears that your household is a better one for the child. Have you been supporting the child all along? Have you continued to spend time with him (as much as the mother will "allow"). Is there a formal certification that you are indeed, the father? Here in the States, you would petition the Family Court; and, in most states, a "custody evaluation" would be carried out. This would involve testing and interviews of you, the mother, and the child, and then a report would be issued to the Court. The judge would then decide on custody. I would hire a good attorney and explore this avenue. Best, Bob Robert A. Fink, M. D., President California Parents United, Inc. "The best parent is both parents...." |
#6
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Chances of custody...
"Gary" wrote:
Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I don't know how the law works in the U.K., but here in the USA, depending on the state, it could go either way. It does not sounds as if you have a stable long-term relationship (marriage), either, but it certainly appears that your household is a better one for the child. Have you been supporting the child all along? Have you continued to spend time with him (as much as the mother will "allow"). Is there a formal certification that you are indeed, the father? Here in the States, you would petition the Family Court; and, in most states, a "custody evaluation" would be carried out. This would involve testing and interviews of you, the mother, and the child, and then a report would be issued to the Court. The judge would then decide on custody. I would hire a good attorney and explore this avenue. Best, Bob Robert A. Fink, M. D., President California Parents United, Inc. "The best parent is both parents...." |
#7
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Chances of custody...
"Gary" wrote:
Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I don't know how the law works in the U.K., but here in the USA, depending on the state, it could go either way. It does not sounds as if you have a stable long-term relationship (marriage), either, but it certainly appears that your household is a better one for the child. Have you been supporting the child all along? Have you continued to spend time with him (as much as the mother will "allow"). Is there a formal certification that you are indeed, the father? Here in the States, you would petition the Family Court; and, in most states, a "custody evaluation" would be carried out. This would involve testing and interviews of you, the mother, and the child, and then a report would be issued to the Court. The judge would then decide on custody. I would hire a good attorney and explore this avenue. Best, Bob Robert A. Fink, M. D., President California Parents United, Inc. "The best parent is both parents...." |
#8
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Chances of custody...
Hi I'm in the UK and have my 5 year old living with me, I never went to
court but did get advise on and off, I'd be careful about the "I have more money therefore I can offer the child a better life" as a judge may ask why it is relevant to spend the money on the child when he lives with you, but not when he lives with Mum. There is an article in "The Times" today which deals with the independant whims of judges and how they can swing all over the place with opinions about placing the child with the father, and how the outcome can often be based on the judge you have that day. The general premise in the UK is to support the status quo, so I guess the onus on you would be to prove the childs mother is unfit. It may be that your best hope is to stay out of court, If your earning £10,000 a month and the mother is a dead beat with a pizza delivery boyfriend is it not beyond your intelligence to sort it out with her, I mean its gonna cost you loads to go to court............I think your best chance would be to look at how that money may be invested into an agreement with her that alows the child to live with you and do weekends with her or whatever, it may sound mercinary but paying her to come to an agreement could save you many years in sleepless nights and if having your child with you means as much as it does to me then its money well spent, then all you need to do is get 6-9 months of providing care under your belt and the status quo has changed to support you. HanK -- "One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him." Jeffrey Bernard. "Robert A. Fink, M. D." wrote in message news "Gary" wrote: Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I don't know how the law works in the U.K., but here in the USA, depending on the state, it could go either way. It does not sounds as if you have a stable long-term relationship (marriage), either, but it certainly appears that your household is a better one for the child. Have you been supporting the child all along? Have you continued to spend time with him (as much as the mother will "allow"). Is there a formal certification that you are indeed, the father? Here in the States, you would petition the Family Court; and, in most states, a "custody evaluation" would be carried out. This would involve testing and interviews of you, the mother, and the child, and then a report would be issued to the Court. The judge would then decide on custody. I would hire a good attorney and explore this avenue. Best, Bob Robert A. Fink, M. D., President California Parents United, Inc. "The best parent is both parents...." |
#9
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Chances of custody...
Hi I'm in the UK and have my 5 year old living with me, I never went to
court but did get advise on and off, I'd be careful about the "I have more money therefore I can offer the child a better life" as a judge may ask why it is relevant to spend the money on the child when he lives with you, but not when he lives with Mum. There is an article in "The Times" today which deals with the independant whims of judges and how they can swing all over the place with opinions about placing the child with the father, and how the outcome can often be based on the judge you have that day. The general premise in the UK is to support the status quo, so I guess the onus on you would be to prove the childs mother is unfit. It may be that your best hope is to stay out of court, If your earning £10,000 a month and the mother is a dead beat with a pizza delivery boyfriend is it not beyond your intelligence to sort it out with her, I mean its gonna cost you loads to go to court............I think your best chance would be to look at how that money may be invested into an agreement with her that alows the child to live with you and do weekends with her or whatever, it may sound mercinary but paying her to come to an agreement could save you many years in sleepless nights and if having your child with you means as much as it does to me then its money well spent, then all you need to do is get 6-9 months of providing care under your belt and the status quo has changed to support you. HanK -- "One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him." Jeffrey Bernard. "Robert A. Fink, M. D." wrote in message news "Gary" wrote: Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I don't know how the law works in the U.K., but here in the USA, depending on the state, it could go either way. It does not sounds as if you have a stable long-term relationship (marriage), either, but it certainly appears that your household is a better one for the child. Have you been supporting the child all along? Have you continued to spend time with him (as much as the mother will "allow"). Is there a formal certification that you are indeed, the father? Here in the States, you would petition the Family Court; and, in most states, a "custody evaluation" would be carried out. This would involve testing and interviews of you, the mother, and the child, and then a report would be issued to the Court. The judge would then decide on custody. I would hire a good attorney and explore this avenue. Best, Bob Robert A. Fink, M. D., President California Parents United, Inc. "The best parent is both parents...." |
#10
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Chances of custody...
Hi I'm in the UK and have my 5 year old living with me, I never went to
court but did get advise on and off, I'd be careful about the "I have more money therefore I can offer the child a better life" as a judge may ask why it is relevant to spend the money on the child when he lives with you, but not when he lives with Mum. There is an article in "The Times" today which deals with the independant whims of judges and how they can swing all over the place with opinions about placing the child with the father, and how the outcome can often be based on the judge you have that day. The general premise in the UK is to support the status quo, so I guess the onus on you would be to prove the childs mother is unfit. It may be that your best hope is to stay out of court, If your earning £10,000 a month and the mother is a dead beat with a pizza delivery boyfriend is it not beyond your intelligence to sort it out with her, I mean its gonna cost you loads to go to court............I think your best chance would be to look at how that money may be invested into an agreement with her that alows the child to live with you and do weekends with her or whatever, it may sound mercinary but paying her to come to an agreement could save you many years in sleepless nights and if having your child with you means as much as it does to me then its money well spent, then all you need to do is get 6-9 months of providing care under your belt and the status quo has changed to support you. HanK -- "One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him." Jeffrey Bernard. "Robert A. Fink, M. D." wrote in message news "Gary" wrote: Gary is infinity times happier when he is here with me. My current Partner loves him to bits, he gets all the attention in the world, and he doesnt need to ask for anything - he has it all. Back at home, its a completely different situation. His mother rarely plays games with him, and she has his younger 2yr old sister to look after which means even less time with him. Also, she is unemployed with ZERO prospects, and her partner delivers pizza - so not much money. I own two companies, and earn in the region of £10,000 per month. I have a completely flexible work pattern and can start finish when I like, and take as many days off as I like, so spending time with young Gary is not a problem for me. I don't know how the law works in the U.K., but here in the USA, depending on the state, it could go either way. It does not sounds as if you have a stable long-term relationship (marriage), either, but it certainly appears that your household is a better one for the child. Have you been supporting the child all along? Have you continued to spend time with him (as much as the mother will "allow"). Is there a formal certification that you are indeed, the father? Here in the States, you would petition the Family Court; and, in most states, a "custody evaluation" would be carried out. This would involve testing and interviews of you, the mother, and the child, and then a report would be issued to the Court. The judge would then decide on custody. I would hire a good attorney and explore this avenue. Best, Bob Robert A. Fink, M. D., President California Parents United, Inc. "The best parent is both parents...." |
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