sorry

Bad day psycho babble deleted, it's been decided that we are not ready
for the family therapy to stop. Everything went POP! over the holiday
break............

'Kate wrote:
On 30 Dec 2005 04:16:32 -0800, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

Bad day psycho babble deleted, it's been decided that we are not ready
for the family therapy to stop. Everything went POP! over the holiday
break............

it happens.. I tried replying to your original post but when I did, I
wrote, deleted, tried to write again and real life interfered... my
daughter came over upset because her car was towed and the impound lot
couldn't find it. We'll end up going to court over it because it was an
illegal tow but meanwhile, she's going to be out nearly $300. That's an
awful lot of money since she's not due to start her new job until after
the 1st.

Oh man that really stinks when stuff like that happens....reminds me of
the time years ago I was in my 20's and the MV made a mistake with my
registration and plates they did not match...I get pulled over and my
car got impounded and towed and I got a ticket for fictitious plates! I
went to court to fight it and the judge told me I should have checked
the numbers between the two before I put the plates on and drove the
car! Which may be the logical thing to do but I was sure early 20's and
what did I know about life then.....I ended up having to pay over
200.00 for the tow and impound and also pay the freakin ticket for
fictitious plates! Learned a hard lesson I did My driving record
showed the fictitious plates as well! I hope things work out for her
poor kid.

Of course what you're going through belongs here. You're allowed to blow
off steam or use the forum to think things over. Your feelings are
important and it sounds like you are in a no-win situation all around...
that's got to suck. The hardest part of being a single parent is feeling
like there's no real support and nowhere to turn. Sometimes writing it
all out helps... sometimes it doesn't. I hope it helped a little.

Well thanks for making me feel welcome here with my super frustrating
life issues! I did need to vent it out and luckily our family therapist
called to check in the same day and I blabbled off to her and she
decided she should drop by and kind of mediate the uproar.

The baby was at her dads parents house my daughter was out with a
friend, so Mari and I got the full session, gosh did that help! We
managed to debate what the heck the real problems are and where I feel
she has bailed on me , to find she feels helpless with my daughters
situation and all she can do is work and make money to help me. I hate
that we get no time and that I am a control freak and am feeling the
loss of being in control of feeling secure.

Ya know I kinda block out the fact that my daughter treats me really
badly. I ended up accepting the treatment because as long as she is
functioning better and I am not getting called into the police station
or school it is a relief from the past horrors I have dealt with with
her. This has made Mari feel helpless and she does not like the way I
am being treated and when she gets involved I shut her out, although I
know deep down she is right .

Erin says that for the entirety of the relationship she feels my
daughter has been all of our main focus and that although it should be
a top priority so is our lives and we need to take that time or it will
not work out . Well I see the points she makes, but taking that time
seems impossible. I am having a hard time accepting her point of view
on my daughter as well. She feels my daughter is taking advantage and
she needs to be told to step up and help us or find somewhere else to
live. Now you know how hard that is for me? I have this guilt that if
anything happens to my daughter it is because I put her out, and she
has these mental health issues that she seems to be able to do only
what she wants to do....

I have seen her be able to function everywhere but here at home helping
with the baby and the home etc. when I ask her to do more and help out
she explodes into an angry foul mouthed rage , I don't like any of this
and I want to continue to be involved with the baby as it is but my
daughter is disrupting the household and making it innapropriate for
this baby at times.She is refusing to take meds, and blows up when I
try to say I think you should at least try an antidepressant med
again.After the change to 50/50 joint custody the baby cries every time
she has to go to her fathers house and it is breaking my heart. I am so
stressed out by needing to control all this that the realisation that I
can't makes me feel like a fish out of water. I just want to cry myself
to sleep and wake up somewhere else.

So I guess that is kinda it in a nutshell, by Mari escaping the turmoil
in the household I feel she abandoned me, which is dumb cause she is
what keeps the financial worries at bay.I probably resent that she can
get out like she does through working 50-60 hours a week, but I also
know she works with Autistic teenage boys and the stories I hear about
a days work can be horrifying. I feel quilty about being resentful when
I know I should be grateful .

Then I have other issues going on with my step daughter and her 3 year
old son, which I will post in another thread cause I could use some
advice on a very touchy issue.

Well at least I kinda am able to start thinking better than just ****ed
off and hating the world , so I am back to a one day at a time mode for
now. Thanks for the ear or should I say eye?

Oh and by the way, I missed your Birthday wishes on the 21st, Happy
belated ! I hope the day was nice for you. My nephew James Vincent was
born at 6:05 p.m. 8lbs 9oz. 21 inches on your birthday ! smile
Bev
'Kate