End of season 9U Baseball Tournament [long]

DD#3 wrote me an email which I thought was hilarious and I just had to
share it with someone. This is the 9 and under league in TX.

" DS [my grandson] played his last two games today. This is a new
team for him since his old coach decided not to coach this year
because of lack of time. So, new head coach and assistant coach and
the head coach yells all the time - kind of like Dad [my dh] - so
sometimes it's hard to tell if he is kidding or serious.

"I think he's a much better coach than the one ds had before. He
managed to play the kids each in a lot of positions and still win -
now that is an accomplishment. One of the kids hasn't played baseball
since he was 4. When they first started practice in August dh [my SIL]
didn't think they would win one game. They have really come a long way
since August. DS got to play every position but 1st base and short
stop. His old coach would have had him in mostly in the outfield (my
personal opinion on that guy is that he's an idiot about assessing a
child's ability and progress and that's not even really based on how
he played ds). Hopefully we can get ds on this new team in the spring.

"Last night they won their first tournament game and ds got to pitch
for the last inning (the first time he'd pitched all season). The team
was up by 9 runs so it was safe that he wouldn't blow the game. He did
really well as pitcher (ie didn't hit any batters and threw some
strikes).

"So they had to play the next game at 8 am this morning (and it was
freezing - not literally but it was 41 and the wind was blowing a
little so it was pretty darn cold). The team they played had the same
regular season record, but got seeded higher because they had scored
more runs overall than Justin's team. These two teams had never played
each other (there are 11 teams in the division and only 8 games so
they didn't play two of the teams). So Justin's team scores 8 runs and
shuts the other team down for the first 2 innings. Then the opponent
scored 4 runs and in the 4th inning manage to score 2 more so the
score is 8 to 6 in our favor.

"The time is running out so this will be the last inning so it's
important not to let them score 3 more runs. Our pitchers are having
some trouble throwing (I think because of the cold) so coach pulls
Justin from 2nd base where he was playing and puts him at pitcher!
Justin has the bases loaded and two outs to get. He throws to the
first batter and the kid hits the ball right in front of Justin so he
gets it and tosses it to the catcher for an out, but the bases are
still loaded. Throws to the second batter and the kid takes a strike,
then he swings at a bad pitch and takes a ball. Then the kid watches
one go by and the ump calls strike three and the game is over.
Meanwhile we are all about to have a heart attack in the stands.

"So since they won the second game they play again for the
championship in the afternoon (against a team that has never been
beaten and they are jerks to boot - like to run up the score and push
the rules etc). So the coach knows there is pretty much no chance for
them to win so he tells them to have fun and not to worry about it. He
pitches someone different every inning and sometimes more than one kid
an inning.

"At one point he puts his own son in to pitch and the kid wears
prescription sunglasses. Well, the umpire (who thinks this is the
world series) says he can't wear the sunglasses. There is a debate and
the kid takes them off, but he can't see at all without them and there
is more debate and finally the ump says are they auto darken glasses
and the coach lies and says yes they are. So the ump lets the kid wear
the glasses. We are all sitting there wondering why he can't wear
sunglasses and the ump says he needs to see the pitcher's eyes (which
makes no sense to us).

"One of the other parents manages to find out that the umpire needs to
see the eyes in case the kid has a pick off move. Well when we find
out that we are all howling with laughter - pick off move! There is no
pick off move for the pitcher to make. The kids, by the rules must
stay in contact with the bases until the pitch crosses the plate - so
it's the catcher that has to pick the runners off when they steal. The
invincible team scored 5 runs in the first inning and then didn't
score in the second inning. They probably have never been shut out for
an inning before.

"They scored 5 more in the 3rd inning and which meant that if we
didn't score a run after the at bat in the 4th that the game was over
because of the run rule ( we couldn't catch up and win since only 5
runs score per inning max so the other team automatically wins), but
our coach wanted to make sure that the other team didn't get another
at bat (because they like to run the score up - because they are
jerks) and he was trying to **** them off since we couldn't beat them
so he starts delaying the game by changing pitchers etc.

"Then coach wants to change catchers because our catcher was looking
really tired (and this is a big delay because the gear has to come off
a kid and go on the next). So he gets the gear on the new catcher and
the umpire announces that this kid can't catch because he's not
wearing a cup! We are all wondering how he knows that the kid isn't
wearing a cup (we think and hope that he asked the kid) so now all the
parents are looking around and saying that their kid isn't wearing one
either.

"So the coach (who is a big guy) just yells to all the players in the
field (DS is at third base at this point) " Is anyone wearing a cup?"
I said "Mine is", so people start yelling that DS is - DS meanwhile is
raising his hand kind of sheepishly - the whole thing is hilarious. So
DS goes and gets the gear on and catches the rest of the inning.

"After that they get one more at bat and coach tells all the batters
to bunt. Well apparently the pitchers from the other team have never
seen batters try to bunt and it confuses them (this only eggs our
coach on). The first batter is out and then DS comes up. He is squared
to bunt before the kid throws his pitch and the pitcher stops his
motion cause he is confused by DS's stance. This happens twice and
people in our stands start yelling "Balk" (just to be funny since
there is no balking at this level) - so the umpire gets mad and yells
that there is no balk rule and our coach yells "yeah just like there
is no pick off move".

"So we get through the 4th at bat and score no runs which means we
have been run ruled and the game is over. Coach lines the kids up for
the hand slapping at the end and so does the other team. But the ump
says get back out in the field the game is not over. There is a delay
while some debate goes on and the first base umpire comes over and
says "if you guys just want to throw in the towel that's fine with us"
at which point the assistant coach think these are fighting words, but
the head coach tells everyone to settle down and the game is over. So
DS's team ended up 2nd place.

"This is much more interesting than coach pitch.

"DH[SIL] was pretty ****ed too about what the umpire said about
throwing in the towel so he and the assistant coach were in agreement.
I think the most frustrating thing is that the officials don't know
the rules. It's one thing to miss a call, but it's really inexcusable
to not know the rules. I know that these guys officiate a lot of
different age groups and each group has different rules, but they
aren't rocket science. The 9U rules are all of 3 pages long and most
of it is the same old stuff. There are only a few rules that are
different - really it would take a few minutes to review before the
game and one might have a copy to refer to just in case there is a
question. I also think it's not the best idea to bring in "super"
umpires to officiate the final games when they haven't been doing it
all season - should've just used the best guys from the season games -
they probably knew the rules by the end of season.

" Well gotta go get ready for church. Just thought the whole debacle
was funny."