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#11
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
"Lvnsurpriseaz" u37991@uwe wrote in message news:7934879433388@uwe... My sons father pays child support and I have 100% physical custody. Now, the father refuses to pay for events that my son wants to participate in during his visitation time. The father claims that is what his child support goes towards. I tried explaining to the father that the child support is to help support him during my 95% time share and that during his 5% time he is to pay for expenses. Isn't that true????? or am I missing something here? Dana What difference does it make? You can force the father to pay you "child support," but you can't force him to pay for events that occur during the visitation time. So what good does it do you to try to prove to the father that the money you get from him is only for expenses during the 95 percent of the time your son is with you? If the father won't pay, he won't pay, and there is nothing you can do. It's not worth an argument. The fact that the father says he won't pay for events during the 5 percent of the time your son is with him is likely to be nothing more than an indication of his dissatisfaction at having to fork over "child support" money to you. |
#12
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
"Lvnsurpriseaz" u37991@uwe wrote in I appreciate what you are saying. It is regarding baseball tournaments which cost anywhere from $40 - $70. I feel that he should pay for the tournament fee if he wants his son to play in a tournament on his weekend. The kid is playing in a league, that comes under child expenses which you have already been paid for! $70 on top of food, travel, hotel and general entertainment adds up real quick, I'm amazed he has anything left over after the CSE is done with him? |
#14
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
Well, I can tell I have alot of fathers responding to my inquiry. I kinda
agree with what some of you are saying. It just seems like the father chooses those specific weekend to come out so that he doesn't have to spent time and money to entertain his own son. I will drop the issue with the father.........it isn't worth the argument! Kenneth S. wrote: My sons father pays child support and I have 100% physical custody. Now, the [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] Dana What difference does it make? You can force the father to pay you "child support," but you can't force him to pay for events that occur during the visitation time. So what good does it do you to try to prove to the father that the money you get from him is only for expenses during the 95 percent of the time your son is with you? If the father won't pay, he won't pay, and there is nothing you can do. It's not worth an argument. The fact that the father says he won't pay for events during the 5 percent of the time your son is with him is likely to be nothing more than an indication of his dissatisfaction at having to fork over "child support" money to you. -- Message posted via FamilyKB.com http://www.familykb.com/Uwe/Forums.a...nting/200710/1 |
#15
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
"Lvnsurpriseaz" u37991@uwe wrote in message news:7934e244b57dd@uwe... Yes, child support is based on visitation time. If he had more visitation time he would pay less in child support, because esentially he would need more of the money for expenses for when he has him. Doesn't that make sense? Just for the fun of it, why don't you pull up some child support tables and see what the difference in child support would be if he had the child for 10% if the time. Or 25%. Alllaw.com has some tables you could try. You might be surprised. DB wrote: So your idea is he pays when the child is with you and he pays when the child is with him! My sons father pays child support and I have 100% physical custody. Now, the [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] Dana |
#16
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
"Lvnsurpriseaz via FamilyKB.com" u37991@uwe wrote in
news:7937b33a45599@uwe: Well, I can tell I have alot of fathers responding to my inquiry. I kinda agree with what some of you are saying. It just seems like the father chooses those specific weekend to come out so that he doesn't have to spent time and money to entertain his own son. I will drop the issue with the father.........it isn't worth the argument! Kenneth S. wrote: My sons father pays child support and I have 100% physical custody. Now, the [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] Dana Just to add my 2 cents... Recently I was paying child support ($1000 per month), spousal support, and daycare. Those three things costs about $3000 per month. That was about 60% of my take home. I also had a $500 per month lawyer bill. My ex would download all kinds of expenses on me: lessons, birthday gifts, clothing, supplies, etc. I also did all the driving. So add on another $500 per month for hard expenses (clothes, gifts) and soft expenses (food, water, utilities, gas). My access was about 30% at that time so these day-to-day costs were quite substantial. As a father you are certainly in a lose-lose situation. You already fork over lots of cash for CS, SS, extra expenses (daycare) and so on. Then you are hit with this additional day-to-day costs above all that - which can be a lot. So whether you have 5%, 30% or even 50%, you start to get frustrated and a little ****ed off. You go... hey wait a second... why am I paying once to the ex... and then twice...?? But if you don't pay for day-to-day, Billy may not go to a party... or Suzy misses her chance at soccer. A lose-lose. And the mother and for a large part, society, points the finger at the father: bad dad... bad, bad, bad, dad, for not supporting his child. Lose-lose-lose. You see, the rocket scientists assumed that the recipient of child support (mom) has the children 100% of the time (in Canada anyway). After that its... oh well... suck it up dad. And just be thankful your allowed to see Billy or Suzy at all (you deadbeat). They also assumed that the recpient (mom) pays an equal amount. But that is completely forgotten and not tracked by anyone. Thanks again family law. So moms share can float between $0 and equal to dad's $CS, but dad's share is $CS + more. Insanity. What your ex is complaining about is not an uncommon problem amongst us payers (dad). We know the laws, we are educated about the system, and we fight (and lose). It is just trying to explain this mess to other people who do not know the formulas, the system, and typically respond, "hey, it is all for the kids (you deadbeat).... " And if dad was to have 0% access, to get out of the hell or court ordered... he is branded the non-involved father... (you deadbeat non- involved a**hole). Lose-lose-lose-lose. So, a $1 chocolate bar is being hard-nosed... but a $70 lesson... he has a point. It all adds up... H. p.s. you can tell I'm in court... |
#17
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
Henry wrote in
: So, a $1 chocolate bar is being hard-nosed... but a $70 lesson... he has a point. It all adds up... H. sorry to follow up to my own post... but I forgot one more thing... The icing on the cake is when dad ponders, "Hey, I paid CS and then I paid $70 for a soccer lesson.... where did that $70 go that was in the child support?" Since mom did not have to pay for it, what happened to it? Well, my CS did not go down by $70... I still must pay the full amount. So where did it go? And that is when dad's get ****ed off again when they see mom with a new hair do, new clothes, trips with the boyfriend, etc. If dad speaks up, he is branded a whiner, complainer, control-freak, deadbeat... People have little idea why men are ****ed at the CS system. You have to live it to believe it. H. |
#18
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
On Oct 5, 4:41 am, Henry wrote:
Henry wrote om: So, a $1 chocolate bar is being hard-nosed... but a $70 lesson... he has a point. It all adds up... H. sorry to follow up to my own post... but I forgot one more thing... The icing on the cake is when dad ponders, "Hey, I paid CS and then I paid $70 for a soccer lesson.... where did that $70 go that was in the child support?" Since mom did not have to pay for it, what happened to it? Well, my CS did not go down by $70... I still must pay the full amount. So where did it go? And that is when dad's get ****ed off again when they see mom with a new hair do, new clothes, trips with the boyfriend, etc. If dad speaks up, he is branded a whiner, complainer, control-freak, deadbeat... People have little idea why men are ****ed at the CS system. You have to live it to believe it. H. The guy pays child support, the guy lives in a different state and STILL comes to visit once a month (most NCPs in the same state only have visitation twice a month)... and you are complaining? Geez! Well, what would happen if he came up on the weekends that he didn't have the sports? Ah yes, then you'd complain that your son's father misses his tournaments! Go figure! Can you tell me exactly what good enough is for you? Obviously, it's not related to CS, but more to you wanting to control his life and not only have you already forced him how to spend his money by getting CS and you spend it as YOU see fit, but now you want to get into whatever he has left and tell him how to spend that too? I hope your son never ends up in the same situation you have put his father. I can assure you, that any boy who ends up in the same situation as their father and then truly realizes how unreasonable their mother was being, will end up resenting her more than the 70USD you are complaining about. It happened to my husband. Until he was in that situation, he thought the world of his mother and thought his dad was a lousy piece of garbage... Now? He sees his mother once a year, if that much and always talks about how now he sees what a greedy and horrible mother she was. |
#19
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
Child support is for $564 a month. He travels from CA to AZ, but he chooses
to travel expensively instead of and cheaper way. DB wrote: "Lvnsurpriseaz" u37991@uwe wrote in The child is 16 yrs old and believe me the childs food bill is almost more than his child support! !!!!! LOL So the big question, how much money is the child support order for? -- Message posted via http://www.familykb.com |
#20
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Dad's Visitation Responsibility
He travels from CA to AZ. I pay $200 per year towards his travel costs. But
he chooses to travel very expensively. I was even offering my guest room to save him money. teachrmama wrote: Well, the father can't have shared custody because we live in two different states. So he only comes out 1 weekend everyother month. How far does he have to travel? Does he pay the transportation? Does he have to pay for a place to stay while he is there? Visitation seems like it might be a very expensive proposition in his case. My sons father pays child support and I have 100% physical custody. Now, the [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] Shared custody, NO child support, and everybody's should be happy (except for the those with a sense of entitlement). -- Message posted via FamilyKB.com http://www.familykb.com/Uwe/Forums.a...nting/200710/1 |
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