Night weaning and reverse cycling - Anecdotes please!

I don't really have a problem that needs fixing, but I would like to
hear some other people's stories, if they have had similar experiences
to mine, just to get a sense of how long my current situation might
last.

DS2 is 16 months old, and a few months ago completely reverse cycled. I
don't mind, because it means I have a great deal of freedom in the
daytime. Since we've coslept from birth, don't have a crib, etc, he
nurses at night instead. I don't have any idea how many times a night
he nurses - sometimes it feels like hardly anything, and sometimes he
seems to be latched on the whole night long.

I sleep with him is "his bed", which is a single mattress on the floor
in our room. I often get him settled, and then go to sleep later in the
"big bed", only to move over sometime during the night. I think as long
as we're cosleeping, it will be hard to night wean, and I'm hoping to
gradually move myself out of his bed. I don't really see it happening
for a while, though.

My experience with DS1 was of course totally different. Although we
coslept, he seemed to be a deeper sleeper, and was only nursing once a
night (sometimes not at all) by 8 or 9 months. We moved him out at
13-14 months, which took about two weeks of DH going to him in the
night instead of me, before he basically settled. By 18mo, he was only
nursing to fall asleep for naps and bedtime, and it was pretty easy to
gently transition him to snuggling to sleep instead by 22mo. Now,
however, DH is working very long hours in a high-stress job with a lot
of responsibility, and can't afford broken sleep. So I'm on my own with
DS2, who is generally Mr. Contrary and Independent all day long, and
then Mommy's Little Velcro Baby all night long. He has been known to
climb on top of me to sleep, when I'm trying to sneak out of the bed,
presumably to keep me there!

So, if anyone has gone through this, did the kid suddenly become a
deeper sleeper and night wean before age 2? Before age 3? Was it
child-led, or at least easy, or did you really have to "break" them of
it? A few months from now DH will be done this heavy stage of work and
might be able to become the nighttime parent for a while, but given the
obstinence of this kid, I don't suppose DS2'll give up easily.

I just kind of want there to be a light at the end of the tunnel, where
I tuck my kids into bed at 7:30 and don't see them again till the
morning . . . .I want my evenings and nights back, eventually!!

thanks,
Melania

Melania wrote:
I don't really have a problem that needs fixing, but I would like to
hear some other people's stories, if they have had similar experiences
to mine, just to get a sense of how long my current situation might
last.
snip

So, if anyone has gone through this, did the kid suddenly become a
deeper sleeper and night wean before age 2? Before age 3? Was it
child-led, or at least easy, or did you really have to "break" them of
it? A few months from now DH will be done this heavy stage of work and
might be able to become the nighttime parent for a while, but given the
obstinence of this kid, I don't suppose DS2'll give up easily.

DD1 night weaned much like your DS1, we moved her into her own
bed in her own room at 18 months. Around then DH started getting
up with her. She weaned completely at 26 months.

DD2 is still in our bed (25 months), but very, very soon we are getting
bunk beds and she is moving to her sister's room (don't have room in
our room for a mattress on the floor, or I'd do that first). That said,
she did night nurse a fair bit through her second year. She self
night weaned a bit ago, maybe around 20 months? She just stopped
waking up (yeah!). I also do give her a sippy cup of milk before bed
so she can drink her fill. I think that helps hold her until morning.
She
now nurses briefly before bed and that is her only nursing session-
which she skipped last night. I expect to wean her when we move
her out of our room.

So, I didn't do anything about it, she just stopped waking up. Don't
know why, but I'm not about to compain.

Mary W.

Mary W. wrote:
snip

DD1 night weaned much like your DS1, we moved her into her own
bed in her own room at 18 months. Around then DH started getting
up with her. She weaned completely at 26 months.

DD2 is still in our bed (25 months), but very, very soon we are getting
bunk beds and she is moving to her sister's room (don't have room in
our room for a mattress on the floor, or I'd do that first). That said,
she did night nurse a fair bit through her second year. She self
night weaned a bit ago, maybe around 20 months? She just stopped
waking up (yeah!). I also do give her a sippy cup of milk before bed
so she can drink her fill. I think that helps hold her until morning.
She
now nurses briefly before bed and that is her only nursing session-
which she skipped last night. I expect to wean her when we move
her out of our room.

So, I didn't do anything about it, she just stopped waking up. Don't
know why, but I'm not about to compain.

Mary W.

Yay! That's the sort of thing I like to hear - we are moving in
January, when DS2 will be about 20mo. With DS1, I managed to make
weaning coincide with moving into a new place, and I'm hoping to do a
loft bed over a futon for the boys in the new place, and making the
move coincide with The Move. (I've always had good luck slipping in an
extra change or transition during a big move). I wouldn't mind nursing
DS2 to sleep in his room with his big brother, and then hopefully they
will sleep together happily (they are big buddies, so it could work!).

Now that you mention it, we did the sippy cup thing with DS1 before
bed, and it worked well - always with milk, since he didn't like
drinking water. DS2 can't stomach milk, but drinks water, so I think we
will have to start bringing a sippy cup of water to bed with us.

Thanks!
Melania

Melania writes:
: I don't really have a problem that needs fixing, but I would like to
: hear some other people's stories, if they have had similar experiences
: to mine, just to get a sense of how long my current situation might
: last.

Until your kids leave home... :-)

: DS2 is 16 months old, and a few months ago completely reverse cycled. I
: don't mind, because it means I have a great deal of freedom in the
: daytime. Since we've coslept from birth, don't have a crib, etc, he
: nurses at night instead. I don't have any idea how many times a night
: he nurses - sometimes it feels like hardly anything, and sometimes he
: seems to be latched on the whole night long.

This sounds like Clara.

: I sleep with him is "his bed", which is a single mattress on the floor
: in our room. I often get him settled, and then go to sleep later in the
: "big bed", only to move over sometime during the night. I think as long
: as we're cosleeping, it will be hard to night wean, and I'm hoping to
: gradually move myself out of his bed. I don't really see it happening
: for a while, though.

This sounds a LOT like Clara.

: My experience with DS1 was of course totally different. Although we
: coslept, he seemed to be a deeper sleeper, and was only nursing once a
: night (sometimes not at all) by 8 or 9 months. We moved him out at
: 13-14 months, which took about two weeks of DH going to him in the
: night instead of me, before he basically settled. By 18mo, he was only
: nursing to fall asleep for naps and bedtime, and it was pretty easy to
: gently transition him to snuggling to sleep instead by 22mo. Now,
: however, DH is working very long hours in a high-stress job with a lot
: of responsibility, and can't afford broken sleep. So I'm on my own with
: DS2, who is generally Mr. Contrary and Independent all day long, and
: then Mommy's Little Velcro Baby all night long. He has been known to
: climb on top of me to sleep, when I'm trying to sneak out of the bed,
: presumably to keep me there!

So your DS1 sounds more like Niel. He would wake and nurse maybe one
or two times night. Clara would nurse 3 to 5.

: So, if anyone has gone through this, did the kid suddenly become a
: deeper sleeper and night wean before age 2? Before age 3? Was it
: child-led, or at least easy, or did you really have to "break" them of
: it? A few months from now DH will be done this heavy stage of work and
: might be able to become the nighttime parent for a while, but given the
: obstinence of this kid, I don't suppose DS2'll give up easily.

We did child led weaning. (with Clara). Monika would nurse her in her
bed during the early part of the night, then let her come in our bed
within a hour or two of wake-up time. I think she was nursing at least
twice a night past 3 yo. I think she was down to the bedtime and wake-u[
sessions by the time she was 4. Niel, on the other hand, nursed only
once a night past about 2 1/2.

: I just kind of want there to be a light at the end of the tunnel, where
: I tuck my kids into bed at 7:30 and don't see them again till the
: morning . . . .I want my evenings and nights back, eventually!!

Well, neither of them are nursing any more, but this still doesn't happen.
Niel, will go right to sleep when we put him to bed, but Clara will lie
awake until we go to bed. She is 9 today.

: thanks,
: Melania

Larry

Melania wrote:
I don't really have a problem that needs fixing, but I would like to
hear some other people's stories, if they have had similar experiences
to mine, just to get a sense of how long my current situation might
last.

DS2 is 16 months old, and a few months ago completely reverse cycled. I
don't mind, because it means I have a great deal of freedom in the
daytime. Since we've coslept from birth, don't have a crib, etc, he
nurses at night instead. I don't have any idea how many times a night
he nurses - sometimes it feels like hardly anything, and sometimes he
seems to be latched on the whole night long.

I sleep with him is "his bed", which is a single mattress on the floor
in our room. I often get him settled, and then go to sleep later in the
"big bed", only to move over sometime during the night. I think as long
as we're cosleeping, it will be hard to night wean, and I'm hoping to
gradually move myself out of his bed. I don't really see it happening
for a while, though.

My experience with DS1 was of course totally different. Although we
coslept, he seemed to be a deeper sleeper, and was only nursing once a
night (sometimes not at all) by 8 or 9 months. We moved him out at
13-14 months, which took about two weeks of DH going to him in the
night instead of me, before he basically settled. By 18mo, he was only
nursing to fall asleep for naps and bedtime, and it was pretty easy to
gently transition him to snuggling to sleep instead by 22mo. Now,
however, DH is working very long hours in a high-stress job with a lot
of responsibility, and can't afford broken sleep. So I'm on my own with
DS2, who is generally Mr. Contrary and Independent all day long, and
then Mommy's Little Velcro Baby all night long. He has been known to
climb on top of me to sleep, when I'm trying to sneak out of the bed,
presumably to keep me there!

So, if anyone has gone through this, did the kid suddenly become a
deeper sleeper and night wean before age 2? Before age 3? Was it
child-led, or at least easy, or did you really have to "break" them of
it? A few months from now DH will be done this heavy stage of work and
might be able to become the nighttime parent for a while, but given the
obstinence of this kid, I don't suppose DS2'll give up easily.

I just kind of want there to be a light at the end of the tunnel, where
I tuck my kids into bed at 7:30 and don't see them again till the
morning . . . .I want my evenings and nights back, eventually!!

thanks,
Melania

i have two kids ages 3 and 2.

I'm a very big advocate of night weaning. My 2yo still nurses twice a
day. I set strict limits on when she can nurse. before going to sleep
and soon after waking up. in her bed and in her room only. This is
necessary for my sanity's sake. I woh full time. I can't function
without adequate and quality sleep. you dont want to talk to me if I
didn't have my 7 hours a night

both girls sleep in their room and in separate beds. it didn't come
easy. I had to struggle a lot to get here but it is stable now. the 2yo
went through phases of nightweaning and suddenly waking up several
times a night etc. I had to show her tough-love and do everything but
nurse during those times. Finally she got the point that mummy doesnt
nurse until the sun comes up.

i don't know how badly you want to nightwean but I was desperate. at
present, life's good

"Melania" wrote in message

So, if anyone has gone through this, did the kid suddenly become a
deeper sleeper and night wean before age 2? Before age 3? Was it
child-led, or at least easy, or did you really have to "break" them of
it? A few months from now DH will be done this heavy stage of work and
might be able to become the nighttime parent for a while, but given the
obstinence of this kid, I don't suppose DS2'll give up easily.

Both my older boys were a lot like that. Hunter reverse cycled, Luke just
nursed all night. I night weaned them and it was not easy. Hunter was
18mos and it only worked because my milk was drying up due to pg. Luke was
also 18mos. It was more gradual but took a very long time. He still woke
up asking to nurse until he completely weaned at 26mos. Again, that was
mother led. They both co-slept and I had a hard time with that. My kids
wouldn't stay asleep without me there beside them so that made it hard. The
transition to get them to their own bed was again mother led, and not real
easy.

I make it sound horrible. ;-) It wasn't fun but it wasn't all that bad. I
will say that the twins are in their own room, in their crib and I planned
that before I knew there would be two. They sleep better now at 5mo then my
other two did/do at 5yo. They are still nursed on demand.
--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

Nikki wrote:

I make it sound horrible. ;-) It wasn't fun but it wasn't all that bad. I
will say that the twins are in their own room, in their crib and I planned
that before I knew there would be two. They sleep better now at 5mo then my
other two did/do at 5yo. They are still nursed on demand.

Blimey, has it really been 5 months!

Jeni

wrote in message
ups.com...

Nikki wrote:

I make it sound horrible. ;-) It wasn't fun but it wasn't all that bad.
I
will say that the twins are in their own room, in their crib and I
planned
that before I knew there would be two. They sleep better now at 5mo then
my
other two did/do at 5yo. They are still nursed on demand.

Blimey, has it really been 5 months!


Hard to believe! They *just* turned 5mo. They are big rowdy already and
can't even crawl yet, lol.


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

Nikki wrote:
"Melania" wrote in message

So, if anyone has gone through this, did the kid suddenly become a
deeper sleeper and night wean before age 2? Before age 3? Was it
child-led, or at least easy, or did you really have to "break" them of
it? A few months from now DH will be done this heavy stage of work and
might be able to become the nighttime parent for a while, but given the
obstinence of this kid, I don't suppose DS2'll give up easily.

Both my older boys were a lot like that. Hunter reverse cycled, Luke just
nursed all night. I night weaned them and it was not easy. Hunter was
18mos and it only worked because my milk was drying up due to pg. Luke was
also 18mos. It was more gradual but took a very long time. He still woke
up asking to nurse until he completely weaned at 26mos. Again, that was
mother led. They both co-slept and I had a hard time with that. My kids
wouldn't stay asleep without me there beside them so that made it hard. The
transition to get them to their own bed was again mother led, and not real
easy.

I make it sound horrible. ;-) It wasn't fun but it wasn't all that bad. I
will say that the twins are in their own room, in their crib and I planned
that before I knew there would be two. They sleep better now at 5mo then my
other two did/do at 5yo. They are still nursed on demand.
--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

Wow! I can't believe the little ones are already five months old. Am I
reading this correctly, that all of your boys have April birthdays?

Thanks for your feedback, Nikki and everyone. Based on what you've all
said, and what I know about DS2, I think we'll maintain the status quo
at least till the move back to Canada and settling into our new place
in January. By then he will be 20mo, instead of 15-16, and I had a lot
more luck with communicating about nursing with DS1 when he was
20-22mo.

Realistically, I can't use the "tough love" solution, although I know
it works for many people. I just don't have the constitution for it,
and if I were going to do it, waiting till he's 16mo would not be the
way to go! I do hope he becomes a better sleeper, but I'm not holding
my breath. He is my kid and I was legendary for my ability to not
sleep, for the first ten years or so of my life. If my parents' stories
are true, I've gotten off pretty darn lightly with my own two!

Thanks again, all!
Melania

"Melania" wrote in message

Wow! I can't believe the little ones are already five months old. Am I
reading this correctly, that all of your boys have April birthdays?

I know - time rushes on! Yes, all in April. July must be a good month for
me ;-)

Based on what you've all
said, and what I know about DS2, I think we'll maintain the status quo
at least till the move back to Canada and settling into our new place
in January.

That sounds like a good plan. good luck with the move - in winter no less!


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06