FOF: Dear Abby - parents dump toddler at older kids' party

Thought the second half of this was worth posting, especially.

Lenona.


DEAR ABBY: I just threw a birthday party for my 8-year-old daughter
and invited friends from her class. All the kids were 7 or 8 years
old. The party was held at a gymnastics place where there were
trampolines, balance beams, etc.

My problem was one mom and dad who dropped off their 8-year-old
daughter. When I turned around they had vanished, leaving their 3-year-
old daughter, "Holly," for me to take care of.

When the mom returned later to pick up her kids, I told her that Holly
had had a really tough time. She had cried constantly because she
couldn't do what the older kids were doing, and was, quite honestly, a
handful.

The mother offered no explanation or apology, other than to shrug and
say that Holly would have cried if they had tried to take her out of
there.

Abby, please advise parents of kids who have younger siblings to leave
the little ones at home. Not every situation is safe or appropriate
for children of all ages, and it puts a huge responsibility on the
birthday child's parents to have to baby-sit rather than enjoy the
festivities. -- BIRTHDAY BABY SITTER, ACTON, MASS.

DEAR BABY SITTER: Holly's parents did not dump their little girl on
you because she would have cried if they had taken her with them. They
did it because they are self-centered, had something they preferred to
do rather than supervise their 3-year-old, and were too cheap to
arrange for a sitter. They were lucky that you were conscientious
enough that, in addition to your hosting duties, you were able to
prevent their child from injuring herself.

I would say shame on them, but they don't appear to have any.


Jack View profile

D. wrote in message

Oy. I would have been sorely tempted to call the cops, saying
"officers, someone left this child, it's not part of my group".


From the book of Gord, on how this issue is properly dealt with.

http://www.actsofgord.com/Chronicles/chapter27.html

Chapter Twenty Seven


Gord's Babysitting Service

So Gord wanders to the store after a rare morning walk, blueberry
bagel in hand. Time check, it's 10:45.

As he approaches the door, there is one lady and her two children.
She seems rather unpleased at Gord.

"Why are you so late?"

"Ma'am, I open at 11. I'm 15 minutes early. Please don't tell
anyone, as this sets a very bad precedent. But being the nice guy I
am, I'll let you in early."

Gord enters the store.

The family walks around for a couple minutes and looks at things. One
of the kids runs up to Gord.

"So when are you going to put the games on the big TV?"

"Being that I'm not even normally open yet, probably not for a while."

Child runs back to mother.

"Ok, I'll pick you kids up at 6pm. Don't go anywhere! Make sure you
stay here all day."

Unfortunately when she said that, Gord was on the phone with a
customer. And the lady was gone before the call ended, leaving her
two children (ages 8 to 9?).

"Uhm...." thought Gord. While he wasn't heartless, he wasn't about
to set another bad precedent where people could convert the store into
a free daycare.

"Where does your mom work?" asked Gord of the children.

They provided the name of the place, and her name as well. Gord
pulled out the phone book and gives her a call.

"So, about your children."

"What about them?"

"I'm going to make two calls. The first call is to my supplier. I
have to order a stack of games and go through my back orders. That
should take about twenty minutes."

"So?"

"After that, if your children are still here, I'm phoning the children
protection authority and doing everyone a favour."

"You can't do that!"

"Ma'am. I can do anything. I own a game store." click

And sure enough, she was back in less than 10 minutes. She grabs her
kids and as she leaves she yells "I'm never coming back!"

"Is this where I say thank you, or is it more polite to mail a card?"

wrote in
ups.com:

Thought the second half of this was worth posting,
especially.
From the book of Gord, on how this issue is properly dealt
with.

http://www.actsofgord.com/Chronicles/chapter27.html

Chapter Twenty Seven


Gord's Babysitting Service

lest anyone think this is urban legend, i also used to manage
a game store, in a mall. yes, parents *do* drop off their
children to be babysat while they shop.
one parent i caught going out the door & said "it's
$25/hour". the parent said "what is?" i said "babysitting
those kids you just dropped in front of the games console. $25
per hour per child".
he took the kids & huffed out.
the other story i'm not sure of the ending. a pair of adults
came in & were looking around the store. i went over & asked
if i could help them find something. their answer? "our
daughter. we left her here 3 hours ago to play while we were
shopping."
she wasn't in the store & i don't remember seeing her. i sent
the "parents" off to mall security.

lee

wrote in message
ups.com...
Thought the second half of this was worth posting, especially.

Lenona.


DEAR ABBY: I just threw a birthday party for my 8-year-old daughter
and invited friends from her class. All the kids were 7 or 8 years
old. The party was held at a gymnastics place where there were
trampolines, balance beams, etc.

My problem was one mom and dad who dropped off their 8-year-old
daughter. When I turned around they had vanished, leaving their 3-year-
old daughter, "Holly," for me to take care of.


My niece, 11, has a friend whose mother does this. For every party the older
daughter is invited to, the mom leaves the younger one there also. I think
the younger girl is 5 or so. As a result, people have stopped inviting the
older girl to parties. Way to foster friction between sisters, too!

My niece earned the Principal's Award at the end of the last school year,
which was awarded at a catered luncheon at a local restaurant. It was for
the class, the teachers, and invited parents. This woman came, brought along
the preschooler, which resulted in one less seat and one less meal for those
who had been invited and had RSVP'ed.

Some, well, most, IMO, people are boorish and clueless!

On Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:44:43 GMT, "deja.blues"
wrote:


wrote in message
oups.com...
Thought the second half of this was worth posting, especially.

Lenona.


DEAR ABBY: I just threw a birthday party for my 8-year-old daughter
and invited friends from her class. All the kids were 7 or 8 years
old. The party was held at a gymnastics place where there were
trampolines, balance beams, etc.

My problem was one mom and dad who dropped off their 8-year-old
daughter. When I turned around they had vanished, leaving their 3-year-
old daughter, "Holly," for me to take care of.


My niece, 11, has a friend whose mother does this. For every party the older
daughter is invited to, the mom leaves the younger one there also. I think
the younger girl is 5 or so. As a result, people have stopped inviting the
older girl to parties. Way to foster friction between sisters, too!

The adult thing to do would be to confront the mother. Punishing the
girl by no longer inviting her is cowardly, imo.

Nan

On Mar 26, 8:46 am, enigma wrote:
wrote roups.com:

Thought the second half of this was worth posting,
especially.
From the book of Gord, on how this issue is properly dealt
with.

http://www.actsofgord.com/Chronicles/chapter27.html

Chapter Twenty Seven

Gord's Babysitting Service

lest anyone think this is urban legend, i also used to manage
a game store, in a mall. yes, parents *do* drop off their
children to be babysat while they shop.
one parent i caught going out the door & said "it's
$25/hour". the parent said "what is?" i said "babysitting
those kids you just dropped in front of the games console. $25
per hour per child".
he took the kids & huffed out.
the other story i'm not sure of the ending. a pair of adults
came in & were looking around the store. i went over & asked
if i could help them find something. their answer? "our
daughter. we left her here 3 hours ago to play while we were
shopping."
she wasn't in the store & i don't remember seeing her. i sent
the "parents" off to mall security.

lee


There is a set of parents who run a chinese restaurant in our town.
They leave their kids at the library for hours. Seven and eight year
olds might be ok for an hour or so, but a 3 year old and 6? And it's
mostly teens who work there, and don't feel they can say anything.

Stasya

Where we used to live, if we invited a kid my son's age to come over
and play, the parent would insist that the younger sibling be invited,
too. Even if it was a girl sibling. I liked for my son to have friends
over and I could watch them play in the backyard. But if a younger sib
came along, it usually turned into me being a free babysitter. And
quite a few parents would also drop off young sibs at parties...I'd
never have the nerve! Sadly, we would also see children - in a rather
affluent area - dropped off at the local library early in the morning.
I don't know why some people have kids.

Julie
askmeanmom.com


On Mar 26, 10:11�am, wrote:
Thought the second half of this was worth posting, especially.

Lenona.

DEAR ABBY: I just threw a birthday party for my 8-year-old daughter
and invited friends from her class. All the kids were 7 or 8 years
old. The party was held at a gymnastics place where there were
trampolines, balance beams, etc.

My problem was one mom and dad who dropped off their 8-year-old
daughter. When I turned around they had vanished, leaving their 3-year-
old daughter, "Holly," for me to take care of.

When the mom returned later to pick up her kids, I told her that Holly
had had a really tough time. She had cried constantly because she
couldn't do what the older kids were doing, and was, quite honestly, a
handful.

The mother offered no explanation or apology, other than to shrug and
say that Holly would have cried if they had tried to take her out of
there.

Abby, please advise parents of kids who have younger siblings to leave
the little ones at home. Not every situation is safe or appropriate
for children of all ages, and it puts a huge responsibility on the
birthday child's parents to have to baby-sit rather than enjoy the
festivities. -- BIRTHDAY BABY SITTER, ACTON, MASS.

DEAR BABY SITTER: Holly's parents did not dump their little girl on
you because she would have cried if they had taken her with them. They
did it because they are self-centered, had something they preferred to
do rather than supervise their 3-year-old, and were too cheap to
arrange for a sitter. They were lucky that you were conscientious
enough that, in addition to your hosting duties, you were able to
prevent their child from injuring herself.

I would say shame on them, but they don't appear to have any.

Jack * *View profile

D. wrote in message
Oy. I would have been sorely tempted to call the cops, saying
"officers, someone left this child, it's not part of my group".
From the book of Gord, on how this issue is properly dealt with.

http://www.actsofgord.com/Chronicles/chapter27.html

Chapter Twenty Seven

Gord's Babysitting Service

So Gord wanders to the store after a rare morning walk, blueberry
bagel in hand. *Time check, it's 10:45.

As he approaches the door, there is one lady and her two children.
She seems rather unpleased at Gord.

"Why are you so late?"

"Ma'am, I open at 11. *I'm 15 minutes early. *Please don't tell
anyone, as this sets a very bad precedent. *But being the nice guy I
am, I'll let you in early."

Gord enters the store.

The family walks around for a couple minutes and looks at things. *One
of the kids runs up to Gord.

"So when are you going to put the games on the big TV?"

"Being that I'm not even normally open yet, probably not for a while."

Child runs back to mother.

"Ok, I'll pick you kids up at 6pm. *Don't go anywhere! *Make sure you
stay here all day."

Unfortunately when she said that, Gord was on the phone with a
customer. *And the lady was gone before the call ended, leaving her
two children (ages 8 to 9?).

"Uhm...." *thought Gord. *While he wasn't heartless, he wasn't about
to set another bad precedent where people could convert the store into
a free daycare.

"Where does your mom work?" asked Gord of the children.

They provided the name of the place, and her name as well. *Gord
pulled out the phone book and gives her a call.

"So, about your children."

"What about them?"

"I'm going to make two calls. *The first call is to my supplier. I
have to order a stack of games and go through my back orders. *That
should take about twenty minutes."

"So?"

"After that, if your children are still here, I'm phoning the children
protection authority and doing everyone a favour."

"You can't do that!"

"Ma'am. *I can do anything. *I own a game store." *click

And sure enough, she was back in less than 10 minutes. *She grabs her
kids and as she leaves she yells "I'm never coming back!"

"Is this where I say thank you, or is it more polite to mail a card?"

"stasya" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Mar 26, 8:46 am, enigma wrote:
wrote
roups.com:

Thought the second half of this was worth posting,
especially.
From the book of Gord, on how this issue is properly dealt
with.

http://www.actsofgord.com/Chronicles/chapter27.html

Chapter Twenty Seven

Gord's Babysitting Service

lest anyone think this is urban legend, i also used to manage
a game store, in a mall. yes, parents *do* drop off their
children to be babysat while they shop.
one parent i caught going out the door & said "it's
$25/hour". the parent said "what is?" i said "babysitting
those kids you just dropped in front of the games console. $25
per hour per child".
he took the kids & huffed out.
the other story i'm not sure of the ending. a pair of adults
came in & were looking around the store. i went over & asked
if i could help them find something. their answer? "our
daughter. we left her here 3 hours ago to play while we were
shopping."
she wasn't in the store & i don't remember seeing her. i sent
the "parents" off to mall security.

lee


There is a set of parents who run a chinese restaurant in our town.
They leave their kids at the library for hours. Seven and eight year
olds might be ok for an hour or so, but a 3 year old and 6? And it's
mostly teens who work there, and don't feel they can say anything.

Stasya


That is just plain hazardous.

Nan wrote:

On Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:44:43 GMT, "deja.blues"
wrote:

My niece, 11, has a friend whose mother does this. For every party the older
daughter is invited to, the mom leaves the younger one there also. I think
the younger girl is 5 or so. As a result, people have stopped inviting the
older girl to parties. Way to foster friction between sisters, too!

The adult thing to do would be to confront the mother. Punishing the
girl by no longer inviting her is cowardly, imo.

Maybe they have and it did no good. Some people just have incredible
nerve.

Maybe better would be to have a party where the party giver picks up
the child at her home, with the car already full except for one place.
Or maybe having a sleepover.

"stasya" wrote:

There is a set of parents who run a chinese restaurant in our town.
They leave their kids at the library for hours. Seven and eight year
olds might be ok for an hour or so, but a 3 year old and 6? And it's
mostly teens who work there, and don't feel they can say anything.

Our library (which has adult librarians), has a sign which says
something like "Children left may be checked out to the wrong patron"

On Mon, 26 Mar 2007 21:41:37 GMT, Rosalie B. wrote:

Nan wrote:


The adult thing to do would be to confront the mother. Punishing the
girl by no longer inviting her is cowardly, imo.

Maybe they have and it did no good. Some people just have incredible
nerve.

My mom just thought if one kids was invited, both are invited. She made my
brother tag along with me wherever I went. Drove me nuts. I think she
basically wanted him to not feel left out. He didn't have many friends.