need to vent - Social rejection to BF

"Jenny" ) writes:
Many people say that BM is no good after 8months or that it looses its
nutritional value, but I just cannot see how Cow's milk is better for
my child at any age, Cow's milk must also be less nutritional after a
certian period, and who know how long each cow is being milked.

These people are being highly irresponsible. They are telling
you information which is false and which is dangerous to the
health of children. Of course human milk is better for human
babies than cow's milk. Human milk changes in composition as
the baby gets older. For example, for the first six months
there is very little iron in human milk, because babies are
born with too much iron. They need more iron in the womb because
there's less oxygen in there, and after they're born they have
to reduce their number of red blood cells. But by about six
months they're starting to need more iron in their diet, and
their mother's milk starts having larger amounts of (easily-absorbed)
iron.

Others say that it is psicologically bad for kids to BF once they
become concious, my doctor says that after a year the kid is not going
to want to eat other things and is only going to want BM and that it
will be emarasing for me when she pulls up my shirt in public to feed.

Nonsense. Even newborns are conscious. Babies are even conscious
for some time before they're born. You could just as well say
that it's psycholigically bad to wean too suddenly or too young,
or to have them feed from an object (a bottle) rather than from
a person.

Your doctor cannot know that your child is going to lift
up your shirt in public. Some children do; others are
taught different behaviour by their mothers. Your doctor
cannot know how you are going to feel if your child does
lift up your shirt. Maybe you'll feel embarassed, but
maybe you'll feel some other way. Many children don't
feel like breastfeeding when they're in public, anyway.
You could choose to wear clothes that your child can't
easily undo.

Is your doctor a fortune teller who can predict the future?

Huge numbers of children breastfeed and almost all of them
want foods in addition to breastmilk once they're older than
about 6 to 9 months. Some want only breastmilk when they're
sick -- and it's what's best for them at that time! A very sick
child who is not breastfeeding might have to have only water or
a mix of sugar, salt and water because they can't digest
anything else, but if the child is breastfeeding they can
probably digest breastmilk, which contains vitamins and other
things that can help them get better. I think it's rare for a
child to want only breastmilk past about 12 months of age, and
these may be children who would develop food allergies if
they had foods other than breastmilk at too young an age.

I live in Ecuador, third world country, you would think peoplo are pro
BF, but no, many mothers go direct to formula and never BF, Some of my
friends think that it is the poor people that BF until 2 and 3 years
becuase they are poor and cannot afford to buymilk. They compare me
with the Indians around here that carry their babies on slings all day.
I say that is so much bull, I can definetly afford the milk, but I
simply prefer to feed my child the real thing.

Are they racist? Do they think the Indians are inferior,
and that anyone who does anything the Indians do is also
inferior? I believe every human being deserves respect,
and that it's good to carry a baby around in a sling all
day. A scientific study found that babies whose parents
were told to carry them around more (even when they're not
crying) spent less time crying. I believe it can be psycholically
harmful to a baby not to be carried around a lot. (Although
some babies want to be put down, and in that case I believe
it's better for them to be put down.)

Anyway, I am going to have to put up with all these coments, I really
do not care but it does anoy me somewhat that I know everyone is
talking behind my back saying how exagerated I am.

Jenny

Maybe they make these coments because they feel guilty because
they suspect that they didn't do what was best for their
own babies.

Some things you might consider saying in response:

"I feel criticized. I would really prefer not to hear
that sort of comment."

"If you have scientific information about this, please
give it to me by email. Otherwise, let's just talk about
other things, OK?"

"Your information is false and it's irresponsible to give
out false information about infant nutrition -- some people
less knowledgeable than me might put their babies' health
at risk when they hear those things."

"You believe the way you raised your baby was just fine."

"You believe the Indians are inferior."

"You believe it's undesirable to be similar in any way
to the Indians."

"You believe cow's milk is healthier for human children
than human milk."

"Please send me the scientific references supporting your
statement." (If they send you any information, you can,
with the help of this newsgroup, some websites and maybe
databases of scientific articles, put together some information
proving them wrong and send it back to them.)

"If we're going to talk about the pros and cons of
breastfeeding, let's do it
online, as a debate on the misc.kids.breastfeeding newsgroup.
I think that would be fun."

"I feel unsupported."

"I thought you were my friend. I'd appreciate more support."

"I've been hearing a lot of negative remarks from a lot
of people and it's really getting me down."

A lot of these remarks are rather confrontational and
may not get you the reaction you want. I'm suggesting
you may want to consider saying these things, but not
to just go ahead and say them without thinking about
how the other person is likely to react. I.e. you
might lose friends. Also, after making a confrontational
statement like that, it's important to immediately
listen carefully and empathetically to what the other
person says in response, and show that you understand
their feelings and their point of view. It's possible to
reach a better mutual understanding that way.

Thank you for all your comments and support. I will definetly not stop
yet and I will let her self wean when she is ready.

I just needed to vent a little bit cause I was keeping it all to
myself.

Jenny


Catherine Woodgold ha escrito:

"Jenny" ) writes:
Many people say that BM is no good after 8months or that it looses its
nutritional value, but I just cannot see how Cow's milk is better for
my child at any age, Cow's milk must also be less nutritional after a
certian period, and who know how long each cow is being milked.

These people are being highly irresponsible. They are telling
you information which is false and which is dangerous to the
health of children. Of course human milk is better for human
babies than cow's milk. Human milk changes in composition as
the baby gets older. For example, for the first six months
there is very little iron in human milk, because babies are
born with too much iron. They need more iron in the womb because
there's less oxygen in there, and after they're born they have
to reduce their number of red blood cells. But by about six
months they're starting to need more iron in their diet, and
their mother's milk starts having larger amounts of (easily-absorbed)
iron.

Others say that it is psicologically bad for kids to BF once they
become concious, my doctor says that after a year the kid is not going
to want to eat other things and is only going to want BM and that it
will be emarasing for me when she pulls up my shirt in public to feed.

Nonsense. Even newborns are conscious. Babies are even conscious
for some time before they're born. You could just as well say
that it's psycholigically bad to wean too suddenly or too young,
or to have them feed from an object (a bottle) rather than from
a person.

Your doctor cannot know that your child is going to lift
up your shirt in public. Some children do; others are
taught different behaviour by their mothers. Your doctor
cannot know how you are going to feel if your child does
lift up your shirt. Maybe you'll feel embarassed, but
maybe you'll feel some other way. Many children don't
feel like breastfeeding when they're in public, anyway.
You could choose to wear clothes that your child can't
easily undo.

Is your doctor a fortune teller who can predict the future?

Huge numbers of children breastfeed and almost all of them
want foods in addition to breastmilk once they're older than
about 6 to 9 months. Some want only breastmilk when they're
sick -- and it's what's best for them at that time! A very sick
child who is not breastfeeding might have to have only water or
a mix of sugar, salt and water because they can't digest
anything else, but if the child is breastfeeding they can
probably digest breastmilk, which contains vitamins and other
things that can help them get better. I think it's rare for a
child to want only breastmilk past about 12 months of age, and
these may be children who would develop food allergies if
they had foods other than breastmilk at too young an age.

I live in Ecuador, third world country, you would think peoplo are pro
BF, but no, many mothers go direct to formula and never BF, Some of my
friends think that it is the poor people that BF until 2 and 3 years
becuase they are poor and cannot afford to buymilk. They compare me
with the Indians around here that carry their babies on slings all day.
I say that is so much bull, I can definetly afford the milk, but I
simply prefer to feed my child the real thing.

Are they racist? Do they think the Indians are inferior,
and that anyone who does anything the Indians do is also
inferior? I believe every human being deserves respect,
and that it's good to carry a baby around in a sling all
day. A scientific study found that babies whose parents
were told to carry them around more (even when they're not
crying) spent less time crying. I believe it can be psycholically
harmful to a baby not to be carried around a lot. (Although
some babies want to be put down, and in that case I believe
it's better for them to be put down.)

Anyway, I am going to have to put up with all these coments, I really
do not care but it does anoy me somewhat that I know everyone is
talking behind my back saying how exagerated I am.

Jenny

Maybe they make these coments because they feel guilty because
they suspect that they didn't do what was best for their
own babies.

Some things you might consider saying in response:

"I feel criticized. I would really prefer not to hear
that sort of comment."

"If you have scientific information about this, please
give it to me by email. Otherwise, let's just talk about
other things, OK?"

"Your information is false and it's irresponsible to give
out false information about infant nutrition -- some people
less knowledgeable than me might put their babies' health
at risk when they hear those things."

"You believe the way you raised your baby was just fine."

"You believe the Indians are inferior."

"You believe it's undesirable to be similar in any way
to the Indians."

"You believe cow's milk is healthier for human children
than human milk."

"Please send me the scientific references supporting your
statement." (If they send you any information, you can,
with the help of this newsgroup, some websites and maybe
databases of scientific articles, put together some information
proving them wrong and send it back to them.)

"If we're going to talk about the pros and cons of
breastfeeding, let's do it
online, as a debate on the misc.kids.breastfeeding newsgroup.
I think that would be fun."

"I feel unsupported."

"I thought you were my friend. I'd appreciate more support."

"I've been hearing a lot of negative remarks from a lot
of people and it's really getting me down."

A lot of these remarks are rather confrontational and
may not get you the reaction you want. I'm suggesting
you may want to consider saying these things, but not
to just go ahead and say them without thinking about
how the other person is likely to react. I.e. you
might lose friends. Also, after making a confrontational
statement like that, it's important to immediately
listen carefully and empathetically to what the other
person says in response, and show that you understand
their feelings and their point of view. It's possible to
reach a better mutual understanding that way.

You go girl! Thats the attitude to have. Only weak people surcome to
social pressures.

From my expierence people will question nearly everything a parent
does, and it doesnt stop when the kids get older. You should do what
you find to be best for your child.


Jenny wrote:
I am having somewhat of a hard time socialy continuing to BF my 11
month old.

Everyone was real happy when I BF for the first 8 months but I am
starting to get resistance from everyone around me. BF my child to me
has been the most wonderful experice, better than child birth itself,
and I really do not want to stop. I am down to 3 feedings a day
(basically breakfast, lunch and dinner) and I do give her one feeding
of formula during the time that I am not at home, only 6oz somewhat of
a snak.

As I said, I am starting to get resistance everywhere. My husband
thinks I am exagerating, but does support me in whatever my desicion
is.

Many people say that BM is no good after 8months or that it looses its
nutritional value, but I just cannot see how Cow's milk is better for
my child at any age, Cow's milk must also be less nutritional after a
certian period, and who know how long each cow is being milked.
Others say that it is psicologically bad for kids to BF once they
become concious, my doctor says that after a year the kid is not going
to want to eat other things and is only going to want BM and that it
will be emarasing for me when she pulls up my shirt in public to feed.


I live in Ecuador, third world country, you would think peoplo are pro
BF, but no, many mothers go direct to formula and never BF, Some of my
friends think that it is the poor people that BF until 2 and 3 years
becuase they are poor and cannot afford to buymilk. They compare me
with the Indians around here that carry their babies on slings all day.
I say that is so much bull, I can definetly afford the milk, but I
simply prefer to feed my child the real thing.

Anyway, I am going to have to put up with all these coments, I really
do not care but it does anoy me somewhat that I know everyone is
talking behind my back saying how exagerated I am.

Jenny