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#11
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need to vent - Social rejection to BF
"Jenny" ) writes:
Many people say that BM is no good after 8months or that it looses its nutritional value, but I just cannot see how Cow's milk is better for my child at any age, Cow's milk must also be less nutritional after a certian period, and who know how long each cow is being milked. These people are being highly irresponsible. They are telling you information which is false and which is dangerous to the health of children. Of course human milk is better for human babies than cow's milk. Human milk changes in composition as the baby gets older. For example, for the first six months there is very little iron in human milk, because babies are born with too much iron. They need more iron in the womb because there's less oxygen in there, and after they're born they have to reduce their number of red blood cells. But by about six months they're starting to need more iron in their diet, and their mother's milk starts having larger amounts of (easily-absorbed) iron. Others say that it is psicologically bad for kids to BF once they become concious, my doctor says that after a year the kid is not going to want to eat other things and is only going to want BM and that it will be emarasing for me when she pulls up my shirt in public to feed. Nonsense. Even newborns are conscious. Babies are even conscious for some time before they're born. You could just as well say that it's psycholigically bad to wean too suddenly or too young, or to have them feed from an object (a bottle) rather than from a person. Your doctor cannot know that your child is going to lift up your shirt in public. Some children do; others are taught different behaviour by their mothers. Your doctor cannot know how you are going to feel if your child does lift up your shirt. Maybe you'll feel embarassed, but maybe you'll feel some other way. Many children don't feel like breastfeeding when they're in public, anyway. You could choose to wear clothes that your child can't easily undo. Is your doctor a fortune teller who can predict the future? Huge numbers of children breastfeed and almost all of them want foods in addition to breastmilk once they're older than about 6 to 9 months. Some want only breastmilk when they're sick -- and it's what's best for them at that time! A very sick child who is not breastfeeding might have to have only water or a mix of sugar, salt and water because they can't digest anything else, but if the child is breastfeeding they can probably digest breastmilk, which contains vitamins and other things that can help them get better. I think it's rare for a child to want only breastmilk past about 12 months of age, and these may be children who would develop food allergies if they had foods other than breastmilk at too young an age. I live in Ecuador, third world country, you would think peoplo are pro BF, but no, many mothers go direct to formula and never BF, Some of my friends think that it is the poor people that BF until 2 and 3 years becuase they are poor and cannot afford to buymilk. They compare me with the Indians around here that carry their babies on slings all day. I say that is so much bull, I can definetly afford the milk, but I simply prefer to feed my child the real thing. Are they racist? Do they think the Indians are inferior, and that anyone who does anything the Indians do is also inferior? I believe every human being deserves respect, and that it's good to carry a baby around in a sling all day. A scientific study found that babies whose parents were told to carry them around more (even when they're not crying) spent less time crying. I believe it can be psycholically harmful to a baby not to be carried around a lot. (Although some babies want to be put down, and in that case I believe it's better for them to be put down.) Anyway, I am going to have to put up with all these coments, I really do not care but it does anoy me somewhat that I know everyone is talking behind my back saying how exagerated I am. Jenny Maybe they make these coments because they feel guilty because they suspect that they didn't do what was best for their own babies. Some things you might consider saying in response: "I feel criticized. I would really prefer not to hear that sort of comment." "If you have scientific information about this, please give it to me by email. Otherwise, let's just talk about other things, OK?" "Your information is false and it's irresponsible to give out false information about infant nutrition -- some people less knowledgeable than me might put their babies' health at risk when they hear those things." "You believe the way you raised your baby was just fine." "You believe the Indians are inferior." "You believe it's undesirable to be similar in any way to the Indians." "You believe cow's milk is healthier for human children than human milk." "Please send me the scientific references supporting your statement." (If they send you any information, you can, with the help of this newsgroup, some websites and maybe databases of scientific articles, put together some information proving them wrong and send it back to them.) "If we're going to talk about the pros and cons of breastfeeding, let's do it online, as a debate on the misc.kids.breastfeeding newsgroup. I think that would be fun." "I feel unsupported." "I thought you were my friend. I'd appreciate more support." "I've been hearing a lot of negative remarks from a lot of people and it's really getting me down." A lot of these remarks are rather confrontational and may not get you the reaction you want. I'm suggesting you may want to consider saying these things, but not to just go ahead and say them without thinking about how the other person is likely to react. I.e. you might lose friends. Also, after making a confrontational statement like that, it's important to immediately listen carefully and empathetically to what the other person says in response, and show that you understand their feelings and their point of view. It's possible to reach a better mutual understanding that way. |
#12
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need to vent - Social rejection to BF
Thank you for all your comments and support. I will definetly not stop
yet and I will let her self wean when she is ready. I just needed to vent a little bit cause I was keeping it all to myself. Jenny Catherine Woodgold ha escrito: "Jenny" ) writes: Many people say that BM is no good after 8months or that it looses its nutritional value, but I just cannot see how Cow's milk is better for my child at any age, Cow's milk must also be less nutritional after a certian period, and who know how long each cow is being milked. These people are being highly irresponsible. They are telling you information which is false and which is dangerous to the health of children. Of course human milk is better for human babies than cow's milk. Human milk changes in composition as the baby gets older. For example, for the first six months there is very little iron in human milk, because babies are born with too much iron. They need more iron in the womb because there's less oxygen in there, and after they're born they have to reduce their number of red blood cells. But by about six months they're starting to need more iron in their diet, and their mother's milk starts having larger amounts of (easily-absorbed) iron. Others say that it is psicologically bad for kids to BF once they become concious, my doctor says that after a year the kid is not going to want to eat other things and is only going to want BM and that it will be emarasing for me when she pulls up my shirt in public to feed. Nonsense. Even newborns are conscious. Babies are even conscious for some time before they're born. You could just as well say that it's psycholigically bad to wean too suddenly or too young, or to have them feed from an object (a bottle) rather than from a person. Your doctor cannot know that your child is going to lift up your shirt in public. Some children do; others are taught different behaviour by their mothers. Your doctor cannot know how you are going to feel if your child does lift up your shirt. Maybe you'll feel embarassed, but maybe you'll feel some other way. Many children don't feel like breastfeeding when they're in public, anyway. You could choose to wear clothes that your child can't easily undo. Is your doctor a fortune teller who can predict the future? Huge numbers of children breastfeed and almost all of them want foods in addition to breastmilk once they're older than about 6 to 9 months. Some want only breastmilk when they're sick -- and it's what's best for them at that time! A very sick child who is not breastfeeding might have to have only water or a mix of sugar, salt and water because they can't digest anything else, but if the child is breastfeeding they can probably digest breastmilk, which contains vitamins and other things that can help them get better. I think it's rare for a child to want only breastmilk past about 12 months of age, and these may be children who would develop food allergies if they had foods other than breastmilk at too young an age. I live in Ecuador, third world country, you would think peoplo are pro BF, but no, many mothers go direct to formula and never BF, Some of my friends think that it is the poor people that BF until 2 and 3 years becuase they are poor and cannot afford to buymilk. They compare me with the Indians around here that carry their babies on slings all day. I say that is so much bull, I can definetly afford the milk, but I simply prefer to feed my child the real thing. Are they racist? Do they think the Indians are inferior, and that anyone who does anything the Indians do is also inferior? I believe every human being deserves respect, and that it's good to carry a baby around in a sling all day. A scientific study found that babies whose parents were told to carry them around more (even when they're not crying) spent less time crying. I believe it can be psycholically harmful to a baby not to be carried around a lot. (Although some babies want to be put down, and in that case I believe it's better for them to be put down.) Anyway, I am going to have to put up with all these coments, I really do not care but it does anoy me somewhat that I know everyone is talking behind my back saying how exagerated I am. Jenny Maybe they make these coments because they feel guilty because they suspect that they didn't do what was best for their own babies. Some things you might consider saying in response: "I feel criticized. I would really prefer not to hear that sort of comment." "If you have scientific information about this, please give it to me by email. Otherwise, let's just talk about other things, OK?" "Your information is false and it's irresponsible to give out false information about infant nutrition -- some people less knowledgeable than me might put their babies' health at risk when they hear those things." "You believe the way you raised your baby was just fine." "You believe the Indians are inferior." "You believe it's undesirable to be similar in any way to the Indians." "You believe cow's milk is healthier for human children than human milk." "Please send me the scientific references supporting your statement." (If they send you any information, you can, with the help of this newsgroup, some websites and maybe databases of scientific articles, put together some information proving them wrong and send it back to them.) "If we're going to talk about the pros and cons of breastfeeding, let's do it online, as a debate on the misc.kids.breastfeeding newsgroup. I think that would be fun." "I feel unsupported." "I thought you were my friend. I'd appreciate more support." "I've been hearing a lot of negative remarks from a lot of people and it's really getting me down." A lot of these remarks are rather confrontational and may not get you the reaction you want. I'm suggesting you may want to consider saying these things, but not to just go ahead and say them without thinking about how the other person is likely to react. I.e. you might lose friends. Also, after making a confrontational statement like that, it's important to immediately listen carefully and empathetically to what the other person says in response, and show that you understand their feelings and their point of view. It's possible to reach a better mutual understanding that way. |
#13
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need to vent - Social rejection to BF
You go girl! Thats the attitude to have. Only weak people surcome to
social pressures. From my expierence people will question nearly everything a parent does, and it doesnt stop when the kids get older. You should do what you find to be best for your child. Jenny wrote: I am having somewhat of a hard time socialy continuing to BF my 11 month old. Everyone was real happy when I BF for the first 8 months but I am starting to get resistance from everyone around me. BF my child to me has been the most wonderful experice, better than child birth itself, and I really do not want to stop. I am down to 3 feedings a day (basically breakfast, lunch and dinner) and I do give her one feeding of formula during the time that I am not at home, only 6oz somewhat of a snak. As I said, I am starting to get resistance everywhere. My husband thinks I am exagerating, but does support me in whatever my desicion is. Many people say that BM is no good after 8months or that it looses its nutritional value, but I just cannot see how Cow's milk is better for my child at any age, Cow's milk must also be less nutritional after a certian period, and who know how long each cow is being milked. Others say that it is psicologically bad for kids to BF once they become concious, my doctor says that after a year the kid is not going to want to eat other things and is only going to want BM and that it will be emarasing for me when she pulls up my shirt in public to feed. I live in Ecuador, third world country, you would think peoplo are pro BF, but no, many mothers go direct to formula and never BF, Some of my friends think that it is the poor people that BF until 2 and 3 years becuase they are poor and cannot afford to buymilk. They compare me with the Indians around here that carry their babies on slings all day. I say that is so much bull, I can definetly afford the milk, but I simply prefer to feed my child the real thing. Anyway, I am going to have to put up with all these coments, I really do not care but it does anoy me somewhat that I know everyone is talking behind my back saying how exagerated I am. Jenny |
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