what do they do to prove you are the dad accross state lines

After taking a good read at these things.. I'm kind of scared.
I have two children with a woman I've lived with only a few months.
If worse comes to worse;
What will she do to have me legally pay child support?
We are not married; she kept me out of the birth certificate;
(In NY you have to both go and the father signs a constent of
fatherhood at the hospital, if you are not married, but she didn't
tell me she had him so i could not be there.)

-We lived together in Virginia
-I live in Maryland, she in NY

Would they summon something to prove with say, DNA, that I'm the father?
Am I safe not going to such a court appoinment as long as I don't set
foot in the state of NY ever again?

Also, I'm a foreigner with a permanent visa here, how does that change
anything? I'm from Argentina.

They can't pursue me to pay child support before fatherhood has been
established, right?

Should I stop giving her money because that shows I am the father or
something like that?

If I wanted to still send money to her to help out, could I do that
without getting into the previous question's problems?

I don't mean to be an asshole. I just think that she wants to raise the
children herself and doesn't really want a father for the babies. And I
just want to have a life without worrying about going to jail.

Should I just kill myself? Avoid being proven the father of these
children, *I* dont even know a 100%.. I loved her and I just assumed.
It's ok that way.

Should I just dissappear and move to anothe state?

Should I leave the country?

I would suggest moving to another country. I am still living in the
USA, but
when I went to Europe a few years back
I never heard anything from the USA
system....Eventually, If you stay in the
USA you will be found and you have to
keep moving from job to job every few
months to avoid the barbaric child support
system...On the other hand maybe your
wife will not file any action against you,
in which case you may be safe.....

However, many women will file years
later after having a change of heart or
financial circumstances.

My suggestion is to get as far away as
you can if possible-----out of country---
Europe, in my opinion is a good option.

Bottom line move around alot in the USA,
change your name and ID if possible; If
not get out of the country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!