A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » misc.kids » General
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Trouble potty training



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old May 26th 07, 08:40 PM posted to alt.parenting.solutions,misc.kids
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4
Default Trouble potty training

Hello,

We have a five year old son who is still not fully potty trained. We
believe that this is an emotional problem caused by the fact that I
was living far away from home for about 18 months while I looked for a
job and a house to buy while they stayed behind. This happened when he
was about 2.5 years old.

He will urinate in public restrooms and in our toilet 99% of the time.
In the last three months however, we have only been able to get him to
poop in the toilet twice. He will have a daytime accident about every
7 to 10 days. The rest of the time he seems to be on some strange
internal clock where he only will go at night in his sleep every other
day. We have tried high fiber diets, laxatives, etc. The only thing
that manages to accomplish is that he is VERY messy the next day and
needs a very thorough cleaning in the morning. He says he is not
afraid of the toilet, and that he wants to do it. He tells he will
start using the potty, and that he will quit having accidents.

We are totally at wit's end here. He is entirely too old to still be
wearing pullups and having these problems. We have tried everything we
can think of to convince him that this is a good thing. As a teacher,
I know that potty-training is directly tied to emotional growth and
maturity, and I am aware of the fact he has some issues, which we are
working on. But I'm about ready to lose it with this potty training
nonsense. If you have ANY advice at all, or have had a similar
experience, PLEASE contact me and let me know! We are desperate to
help our son. I am positive that if we can accomplish this, the other
problems he has will be much easier to work on. Thanks. You can email
me directly if you like, at one of two addresses below.

loctavius(at)gmail.com
loctavius(at)earthlink.net

  #2  
Old May 26th 07, 10:54 PM posted to alt.parenting.solutions,misc.kids
NL
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 444
Default Trouble potty training

wrote:
He tells he will
start using the potty, and that he will quit having accidents.

We are totally at wit's end here. He is entirely too old to still be
wearing pullups and having these problems. We have tried everything we
can think of to convince him that this is a good thing. As a teacher,
I know that potty-training is directly tied to emotional growth and
maturity, and I am aware of the fact he has some issues, which we are
working on.



Ok, have you got him checked out by a doctor? Maybe it's not so much
willpower that he needs but something else?

I don't know what other issues he has, but for what it's worth my son
has a perception/sensory problem (I don't know the proper english term.
For a very long time physical contact like patting him on the back or
stroking his hair were impossible as for him it apparently felt like
being beaten feels to a person without that problem.) and he started
potty training at 4. The same time he started kindergarten (germany,
different system.) He simply did not associate the feeling of a full
bladder/intestine with peeing/pooping. This was very evident when he
peed while having a shower. He always seemd very surprised that there
was liquid coming out of him. We also strggled with diaper changes as
he'd have a fit every time he pooped his pants and I tried to change his
diaper because of it.

Once he was aware of what was going on inside and was able to associate
the feeling of a full bladder with peeing potty training went really
well and fast. He's 6 now and still has peeing accidents every now and
then. Usually because he's trying to hold it in because he doesn't want
to stop playing, especially when he's outside and the underestimates the
time it'll take him to actually get to the toilett.

Is he scared of the dark? Does he get up at night to pee? Does he have
nightmares that make him scared to get out of bed at night? Are you sure
he poops in his sleep, have you actually seen it happen? Is he a very
deep sleeper and maybe doesn't realize he's not dreaming of going to the
toilet but pooping in bed?

Ok, what I would do:
- first of all: see a doctor who is familiar with sensory/perception
problems and get your son checked out.
- remove everything that might trigger nightmares (movies, books,
stories,...)
- leave a light on for him, in case he's scared of the dark (like me.
I'm 31 and have a nightlight...)
- take him to the toilet before putting him to bed? I don't know how
well that would work though.
- remind/ask him if he needs to go potty throughout the day (not every 5
minutes though, more like after/before meals maybe)
- don't threaten him with concequences for his nighttime accidents, but
don't make the cleanup the nices part of the day either. (deal with it
matter of factly, no fussing no babying, just take him to the bathroom,
give him a shower, put fresh clothes on without going on about the
accident. It's already happened and you can't undo it.)


If I have any other ideas I'll let you know...

cu
nicole
  #3  
Old May 27th 07, 02:31 AM posted to alt.parenting.solutions,misc.kids
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4
Default Trouble potty training

Ok, have you got him checked out by a doctor? Maybe it's not so much
willpower that he needs but something else?

Not yet. School is aware of it, as he is somewhat behind in his speech/
reading/emotional areas and is in a special ed class for a while to
help with that.

I don't know what other issues he has, but for what it's worth my son
has a perception/sensory problem (I don't know the proper english term.


Nope, nothing of the sort for my son.

Is he scared of the dark? Does he get up at night to pee? Does he have
nightmares that make him scared to get out of bed at night? Are you sure
he poops in his sleep, have you actually seen it happen? Is he a very
deep sleeper and maybe doesn't realize he's not dreaming of going to the
toilet but pooping in bed?


Not scared of the dark, goes right to sleep as long as he has his
favoite blanket and pillow, does not wake up, has no nightmares as
long as we carefully monitor what he watches at night. He does not
wake up, he does this in his sleep (he is a very deep sleeper and hard
to wake) who wakes up later or we find out in the morning what has
happened.

- take him to the toilet before putting him to bed? I don't know how
well that would work though.


Says he does not have to go.

- remind/ask him if he needs to go potty throughout the day (not every 5
minutes though, more like after/before meals maybe)


We are doing this roughly every hour or so.

- don't threaten him with concequences for his nighttime accidents, but
don't make the cleanup the nices part of the day either. (deal with it
matter of factly, no fussing no babying, just take him to the bathroom,
give him a shower, put fresh clothes on without going on about the
accident. It's already happened and you can't undo it.)


We are frustrated, and he knows it, but he is not being punished or
threatened for this.


If I have any other ideas I'll let you know...

cu
nicole


  #4  
Old May 27th 07, 02:54 AM posted to alt.parenting.solutions,misc.kids
NL
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 444
Default Trouble potty training

wrote:
Ok, have you got him checked out by a doctor? Maybe it's not so much
willpower that he needs but something else?


Not yet. School is aware of it, as he is somewhat behind in his speech/
reading/emotional areas and is in a special ed class for a while to
help with that.


I don't know what other issues he has, but for what it's worth my son
has a perception/sensory problem (I don't know the proper english term.



Nope, nothing of the sort for my son.


Are you sure? Has he been checked? With my son it was not immediately
evident, we had an EEG to check for some types of epilepsy/cramping
(there are some types of epilepsy when the child does not obviously have
convulsions/cramping, and not all kinds can be detected via an EEG) and
after those some syndromes and autism were ruled out.
Why does your son have spech/reading/emotional issues? Have you got that
checked out by a doctor?

- take him to the toilet before putting him to bed? I don't know how
well that would work though.



Says he does not have to go.


Do you let him sit on the toilet and try or do you just ask?

- remind/ask him if he needs to go potty throughout the day (not every 5
minutes though, more like after/before meals maybe)



We are doing this roughly every hour or so.


Does he ever go/have accident during the day? Maybe asking in the
evening only would work better?

- don't threaten him with concequences for his nighttime accidents, but
don't make the cleanup the nices part of the day either. (deal with it
matter of factly, no fussing no babying, just take him to the bathroom,
give him a shower, put fresh clothes on without going on about the
accident. It's already happened and you can't undo it.)



We are frustrated, and he knows it, but he is not being punished or
threatened for this.


How do you deal with the situation? Does he somehow benefit from his
accidents? (does he get to sleep in your bed after everything's cleaned
up,...)

If I were you I'd make an appointment with his pediatrician as soon as
possible, maybe get him to refer me to a specialist and get some tests
run just to make sure it's nothing organic that's easiely treated. I'd
also ask the doc for suggestions about how to deal with it (maybe
without your son in the room).

To me it seems like you feel you've already tried everything and you
just hope that somehow it'll all go away. I can sympathize (how do you
spell that anyway?!) and I think asking your pediatrician for help would
probably be the best idea at this point.

cu
nicole
  #6  
Old May 27th 07, 05:34 AM posted to alt.parenting.solutions,misc.kids
Anne Rogers[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 339
Default Trouble potty training


He will urinate in public restrooms and in our toilet 99% of the time.
In the last three months however, we have only been able to get him to
poop in the toilet twice. He will have a daytime accident about every
7 to 10 days. The rest of the time he seems to be on some strange
internal clock where he only will go at night in his sleep every other
day. We have tried high fiber diets, laxatives, etc. The only thing
that manages to accomplish is that he is VERY messy the next day and
needs a very thorough cleaning in the morning. He says he is not
afraid of the toilet, and that he wants to do it. He tells he will
start using the potty, and that he will quit having accidents.


Are you sure it's not the laxatives that have actually caused the problem? A
friend had this problem with her twins, they both at various times were
struggling with constipation, so the doctor prescribed laxatives and they
suddenly started having poo accidents, fortunately she realised fast an no
long term harm was done. I would definitely take him to the doctors, pooping
whilst asleep doesn't sound normal to me, at least my kids have never done
it right from birth, they were awake or feeding when they pooped.

Anne


  #7  
Old May 27th 07, 12:49 PM posted to alt.parenting.solutions,misc.kids
Chookie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,085
Default Trouble potty training

In article .com,
wrote:

We have a five year old son who is still not fully potty trained. We
believe that this is an emotional problem caused by the fact that I
was living far away from home for about 18 months while I looked for a
job and a house to buy while they stayed behind. This happened when he
was about 2.5 years old.


It is extraordinarily rare for potty training problems to be related to such
things. Did you get this from a pediatric psychologist? What treatment is
being given for it? Does this problem manifest itself in other ways?

He will urinate in public restrooms and in our toilet 99% of the time.
In the last three months however, we have only been able to get him to
poop in the toilet twice. He will have a daytime accident about every
7 to 10 days. The rest of the time he seems to be on some strange
internal clock where he only will go at night in his sleep every other
day.


It is very unusual for a child that age to defecate in his sleep -- most of us
give that up in babyhood. Does he also urinate in his sleep? Has your DS
been checked for Hirschsprung's Disease and Neuronal Intestinal Dysplasia?

IOW -- go to the doctor. This is really, really not right.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue
  #9  
Old May 29th 07, 06:35 AM posted to alt.parenting.solutions,misc.kids
Akuvikate
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 143
Default Trouble potty training

On May 26, 12:40 pm, wrote:

He will urinate in public restrooms and in our toilet 99% of the time.
In the last three months however, we have only been able to get him to
poop in the toilet twice. He will have a daytime accident about every
7 to 10 days. The rest of the time he seems to be on some strange
internal clock where he only will go at night in his sleep every other
day. We have tried high fiber diets, laxatives, etc. The only thing
that manages to accomplish is that he is VERY messy the next day and
needs a very thorough cleaning in the morning. He says he is not
afraid of the toilet, and that he wants to do it. He tells he will
start using the potty, and that he will quit having accidents.


I'm going to join the chorus of people saying to get him checked by
the doctor. Even with regular stools you can still have constipation,
if it's either small hard stools that aren't fully clearing out the
rectum or if it's liquid feces leaking past an impacted ball of
stool. The latter (encopresis) is not uncommon in kids with emotional
issues. They hold onto their poop until they get a hard impacted ball
of stool and eventually start getting involuntary leakage of stool
around it. It can look like diarrhea because the leakage is liquid,
but really it's constipation and stool withholding. They often no
longer sense the need to go because the rectum has gotten distended
and loose from being overfull. It usually needs somewhat close
medical follow-up until the child is "cleaned out", as you can't
really make any progress or start a bowel regimen until then. Pooping
in sleep is highly unusual in a kid this age and makes me more
suspicious of encopresis.

But no one can make that diagnosis over the internet. He needs to see
his doctor specifically about the pooping issue.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel (a pediatrician)
and the Bug, almost 4 years old

 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Potty training Jennifer Massey-Howe General 5 May 11th 06 04:45 PM
Potty training ChitaShines Pregnancy 43 April 15th 06 12:40 AM
Potty Training HELP Klynn Solutions 4 November 1st 05 12:36 PM
need help potty training!! stef General 2 January 13th 04 03:45 AM
potty training barbara-jane Kids Health 0 September 29th 03 03:02 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:57 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.