Review: The Amityville Horror (*)

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR
A film review by Steve Rhodes

Copyright 2005 Steve Rhodes



RATING (0 TO ****): *



"There are no bad houses, just bad people," George Lutz (Ryan Reynolds)
tells the rest of his family. "Houses don't kill people," he also advises.
"People kill people." Wanna bet?



In the schlocky THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, George and his wife Kathy (Melissa
George, a generic blonde actress) buy a house that is so cheap that they
figure there must be a catch. When pressed to reveal the truth, the real
estate agent downplays the fact that a similar family to theirs died in the
house. It's seems that the dad went psycho, killing the rest of the family
since he decided they were demons. The movie, which has the audacity to
brag in the opening credits that it is "based on a true story," is a remake
of a 1979 film. I never saw the original, and this version certainly did
not motivate me to view it for comparison.



The movie uses all of the standard horror movie tricks. Horrible images
appear suddenly, as the silence is pierced by loud screams and scary music.
But, unless this is your very first horror movie, you are much more likely
to be bored to death than scared to death. I kept waiting and hoping that
it would become laughably bad, but it never does. Instead it just runs out
the clock until it finally lets the audience escape its long, mindless
moments. Only in a briefly funny episode involving a sexy babysitter, who
turns out to have worked for the previous owners of the house, does the
movie ever entertain in the slightest.



THE AMITYVILLE HORROR runs way too long even at just 1:26. It is rated R
for "violence, disturbing images, language, brief sexuality and drug use"
and would be acceptable for most teenagers.



The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, April 15, 2005.
In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century
theaters and the Camera Cinemas.





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