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#1
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
Yes I know it's Thursday but my server wasn't playing ball yesterday.
Wednesdays depress me cos I go along to a b/f support group where lots of mums get together and chat about stuff - no sleep, not enough milk, waking through the night etc. Like a live mkb but nothing like a live mkb. A midwife is in attendance and contributes nothing but smiles. The rant bit is that all the mums are desperate to get to 16 weeks to start bunging solids into their little offspring - 'Oh he/she woke twice in the night last night so they're *definitely* ready for solids' !!???!!! Some are even cramming it in at 12 weeks 'cos he's so big'. AND NOTHING IS SAID by the midwife. My voice is a lonely one and they look at me as if I'm mad. Second rant - lil tiny 3 n 4 week olds' mums are saying 'I obviously haven't got enough milk cos they just want to feed all the time so I just bunged a bottle of formula in their gob and they just drank another 4oz so I *obviously* was short on supply.' One was even advising another mum to do this to see if her baby would take the formula to 'test' if she had enough milk. AND NOTHING IS SAID by the midwife. I tried hard not to scream but they just don't want to hear that there are times like these and it's normal. Why oh why is the health service around here not adopting the new guidelines for starting solids - HVs are using the same reasons as in rant 1 to get babies onto solids and still using the 16 week mark. It seems that no-one is even gently trying to move things forward. In previous generations they didn't know the risks but today there is so much research and evidence. Can these babies sue for malpractise when they're old enough to realise how their health may have been compromised? As I've said elsewhere, I'm training to be a b/f counsellor but sometimes I feel that I'm swimming upstream and I might get swept away and my voice drowned in the big ocean. I feel helpless. Why can't everyone be as well informed or, at least, as prepared to listen, evaluate and, if necessary, adapt as the folk on mkb. Thank goodness I found you :-) Rant over. Thanks for listening. --Alison |
#2
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
"Alison" o.uk wrote As I've said elsewhere, I'm training to be a b/f counsellor but sometimes I feel that I'm swimming upstream and I might get swept away and my voice drowned in the big ocean. I feel helpless. Good luck and I hope u can stick to it. I was studying to become a Dietician, but I was so depressed by the ignorance and resistance to change that I gave up. |
#3
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
"Richard" wrote in message ... Nina wrote: : [ . . . ] : Good luck and I hope u can stick to it. I was studying to become a : Dietician, but I was so depressed by the ignorance and resistance to change : that I gave up. But we need you! *sigh* I know. For the past few years I just worked with my husband's diet, he's a bodybuilder. Its hard because the people who NEED you the most seem to listen the least. We have a regularly scheduled yoga class at work, emphasizing relaxation through stretching. One of my colleagues passed on the class one day saying he couldn't attend because he was feeling too stiff. Hello?? LOL |
#4
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
Nina wrote:
"Alison" o.uk wrote As I've said elsewhere, I'm training to be a b/f counsellor but sometimes I feel that I'm swimming upstream and I might get swept away and my voice drowned in the big ocean. I feel helpless. Good luck and I hope u can stick to it. I was studying to become a Dietician, but I was so depressed by the ignorance and resistance to change that I gave up. No no no...I need you too!! Trying to work out a balanced diet for P is sooooo hard, esp when he seems to spit out a bunch of things (beef, fish...). I agree that it's hard to deal with...well, morons, but you go for the folk who *are* wanting to change, do better, etc. But I can see how that would be tough...I'd be on the verge of going postal. -- 'Tis Herself |
#5
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
"Alison" o.uk wrote in message ...
Yes I know it's Thursday but my server wasn't playing ball yesterday. Wednesdays depress me cos I go along to a b/f support group where lots of mums get together and chat about stuff - no sleep, not enough milk, waking through the night etc. Like a live mkb but nothing like a live mkb. A midwife is in attendance and contributes nothing but smiles. The rant bit is that all the mums are desperate to get to 16 weeks to start bunging solids into their little offspring - 'Oh he/she woke twice in the night last night so they're *definitely* ready for solids' !!???!!! Some are even cramming it in at 12 weeks 'cos he's so big'. AND NOTHING IS SAID by the midwife. My voice is a lonely one and they look at me as if I'm mad. Second rant - lil tiny 3 n 4 week olds' mums are saying 'I obviously haven't got enough milk cos they just want to feed all the time so I just bunged a bottle of formula in their gob and they just drank another 4oz so I *obviously* was short on supply.' One was even advising another mum to do this to see if her baby would take the formula to 'test' if she had enough milk. AND NOTHING IS SAID by the midwife. I tried hard not to scream but they just don't want to hear that there are times like these and it's normal. Why oh why is the health service around here not adopting the new guidelines for starting solids - HVs are using the same reasons as in rant 1 to get babies onto solids and still using the 16 week mark. It seems that no-one is even gently trying to move things forward. In previous generations they didn't know the risks but today there is so much research and evidence. Can these babies sue for malpractise when they're old enough to realise how their health may have been compromised? As I've said elsewhere, I'm training to be a b/f counsellor but sometimes I feel that I'm swimming upstream and I might get swept away and my voice drowned in the big ocean. I feel helpless. Why can't everyone be as well informed or, at least, as prepared to listen, evaluate and, if necessary, adapt as the folk on mkb. Thank goodness I found you :-) Rant over. Thanks for listening. --Alison complain about the midwife - loudly! teapot |
#6
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
"Alison" wrote
Why can't everyone be as well informed or, at least, as prepared to listen, evaluate and, if necessary, adapt as the folk on mkb. Thank goodness I found you :-) Something I have noticed, is that there are PLENTY of people like your midwife and those moms who visit mkb. They don't want to hear what these knowledgable people have to say, and they go elsewhere within about three posts, or they do listen with an open mind and soon become part of the community. Sometimes mkb is a bit terse (not unfriendly, but sometimes it's taken that way) when we see a personality that isn't receptive to help coming. So, there might be some moms in that group who know that these moms are wrong, but just don't want to hassle themselves knocking their heads against a brick wall. Sometimes we can see a brick wall coming. Look at how small, in reality, this ng is compared to mkp or mk. It's a special kind of person who is as passionate about doing right by their child as this group, and as outspoken. This is kind of a "safe" place with lots of backup for the gung-ho breastfeeder. Some moms breastfeeding comes easy to, and they also might never end up here or at a bf support group at all. I've met a few moms who are like, "LLL? What's that? The hospital has breastfeeding counsellors? Why? It's so easy." I have a friend who is a great breastfeeder, but totally against my grain in other respects of parenting issues for (very) young infants. She is very adamant that she won't spoil her child by holding him too much, or by taking him to bed with her, or by holding him in the middle of the night. Her husband was worried the other day about their 4 month old being restless in (2 hours worth of) church, and wondering how to get him "less fidgety" and more disciplined. She has an inkling that I disagree w/ her on some of those things, but because I know she's a loving mom, and it takes all kind of moms and kids in the world, I don't talk about the issue. I think they are both scared their child will be like mine when he's older, because Ian is really challenging sometimes. I think she blames it on my "lax" parenting at the young ages. That's fine, I think it's more personality. Ian is very bright and challenging and I'm sure him crying to sleep wouldn't have changed that. I'm confident in my choices, so I don't fight with her. All this is to say, some people just won't argue when they think it's not a big deal. There may have been other moms at that group who agreed w/ you, but didn't want to polarize themselves from their friends. This has been on my mind a lot lately. Sometimes I think I ought to speak up and fight w/ people, but I've been trying to remember that "fools despise wisdom". If someone doesn't know enough to find out the facts themselves, they are likely not to listen to you, anyway. Just let it run off your back. Teresa |
#7
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
"Teresa Chandler" wrote I have a friend who is a great breastfeeder, but totally against my grain in other respects of parenting issues for (very) young infants. She is very adamant that she won't spoil her child by holding him too much, or by taking him to bed with her, or by holding him in the middle of the night. My SIL said she and her husband would give their baby her nighttime bottle while she was in the crib, so she wouldnt expect to be held. That always seemed incredibly hard to me. I cant imagine feeding a baby and not holding it. |
#8
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
"Nina" wrote
My SIL said she and her husband would give their baby her nighttime bottle while she was in the crib, so she wouldnt expect to be held. That always seemed incredibly hard to me. I cant imagine feeding a baby and not holding it. Not to mention dangerous. My DH has a cousin who never saw his first birthday because he aspirated on formula from a bottle his mom sent him to bed with. This is one case where I would speak up, because that is so dangerous. Teresa |
#9
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
Teresa Chandler wrote: "Nina" wrote My SIL said she and her husband would give their baby her nighttime bottle while she was in the crib, so she wouldnt expect to be held. That always seemed incredibly hard to me. I cant imagine feeding a baby and not holding it. Not to mention dangerous. My DH has a cousin who never saw his first birthday because he aspirated on formula from a bottle his mom sent him to bed with. This is one case where I would speak up, because that is so dangerous. Teresa I thought Nina meant the parents were right there, feeding the baby with the bottle, but not holding the baby. I don't know that that's particularly dangerous (although I think it can increase the risk of ear infections) - the parent should be able to tell right away if there's a problem - but it seems pointless to me. If you're going to be there anyway, why not hold the baby? Clisby |
#10
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Wednesday Depression (Rant)
"Teresa Chandler" wrote in message ... "Nina" wrote My SIL said she and her husband would give their baby her nighttime bottle while she was in the crib, so she wouldnt expect to be held. That always seemed incredibly hard to me. I cant imagine feeding a baby and not holding it. Not to mention dangerous. My DH has a cousin who never saw his first birthday because he aspirated on formula from a bottle his mom sent him to bed with. This is one case where I would speak up, because that is so dangerous. No, they HELD the bottle. They'd stand over the crib and feed her the bottle then go to sleep. Damn people, just pick the baby up and feed her. (she's 9 now, btw) |
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