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Oh! Hell its Christmas :(



 
 
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Old December 19th 06, 11:09 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
miri
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Posts: 42
Default Oh! Hell its Christmas :(

Oh God its *that* time of year again...I don't know
how others feel about it, I guess it was working in
retail for so long, it sort of began in September,(we
would order in Spring, and designing for print begins
the year or two before that)

I suppose its the feeling of loss, I mean I can take
the loss of old friends, they move to new places, and
family move as new work comes along and new opportunities
arose. Its like theres no core communities anymore,
everybodys in a faction or a cult even.

I'm not sociable. Its hard for me to get involved.
I was better dummed up at 15. I shoulda been pregnant
at 16, but Lordy the rough to get women to work in the
so called 'real' world.

Privately, my Bro has drifted off, theres only me and
the kids as blood, theres no-one else left these days.
I fawn for Mark and Gary, because if I didn't the kids
wouldn't have a daddy and know their male parents. Why
DO I ever bother! theres less in return for me, but at
the heart of it I'll know the kids will be known by their
own moms and dads and relatives. Marriage may have been
hell but it was worth it for two delightful infants of
joy and I can not let these young people grow up without
knowing who and where they came from. I'm less inclined
to tell taaallll stories about their fathers and risk
the feelings of guilt and insignificance they may grow
up with, the self doubt they may feel when they express
an opinion which is true for them.

Me? I'm getting my act together, slowly but surely,
going through my own moms diaries stretching back 30
years and knowing full well she edited a heeelll of
a lot cos she wanted to give the 'right sort of
impression'

Christmas Wishes,

Love,

miri

 




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