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So, I married your pride!



 
 
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  #1  
Old June 1st 06, 04:15 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
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Default So, I married your pride!

Which one is easier? To admit that you are wrong or say I don't love
you anymore and walk away. After many years of marriage and 3 children,
my marriage went down the drain. If he has to choose between me or his
pride, he will choose his pride anytime. Are all men like that?

Now, I am enjoying the freedom. Should I be guilty about that? My
life is simplier and I have more time for my kids and myself. I am
loving it! I have not cried. I can't for some reason. I made a
decision to enjoy my life and concentrate with my children. I have
learned that I have settle for less for a long time and lost myself in
the process. I don't know if you know what I mean. Do you have any
good advise for me?

  #2  
Old June 1st 06, 10:28 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
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Default So, I married your pride!


"April" wrote in message
ups.com...
Which one is easier? To admit that you are wrong or say I don't love
you anymore and walk away. After many years of marriage and 3 children,
my marriage went down the drain. If he has to choose between me or his
pride, he will choose his pride anytime. Are all men like that?

Now, I am enjoying the freedom. Should I be guilty about that? My
life is simplier and I have more time for my kids and myself. I am
loving it! I have not cried. I can't for some reason. I made a
decision to enjoy my life and concentrate with my children. I have
learned that I have settle for less for a long time and lost myself in
the process. I don't know if you know what I mean. Do you have any
good advise for me?


You haven't asked for any advise.




  #3  
Old June 1st 06, 04:35 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
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Posts: n/a
Default So, I married your pride!

I did asked fo advise. But none of them are single parents like you
are. I need to hear from someone who can relate to me.

Regards,
April

Moon Shyne wrote:
"April" wrote in message
ups.com...
Which one is easier? To admit that you are wrong or say I don't love
you anymore and walk away. After many years of marriage and 3 children,
my marriage went down the drain. If he has to choose between me or his
pride, he will choose his pride anytime. Are all men like that?

Now, I am enjoying the freedom. Should I be guilty about that? My
life is simplier and I have more time for my kids and myself. I am
loving it! I have not cried. I can't for some reason. I made a
decision to enjoy my life and concentrate with my children. I have
learned that I have settle for less for a long time and lost myself in
the process. I don't know if you know what I mean. Do you have any
good advise for me?


You haven't asked for any advise.



  #4  
Old June 1st 06, 04:45 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default So, I married your pride!

Thanks for writing.
Yes, mid 30's. My children are in the ages of 6 to 12. They still
need me at this time and I am loving the time with them. You are so
right. When one day they don't need me anymore. What would I do? I
need to make a long term plan. Right now I am just taking it one day at
a time. I have also done an audit about who I am. I have realized
that I have not been myself for a long time because my entire life
circles on my children any husband. Because of so many responsibilities
I am not in the priority list. Why is that? I never think that I need
to do things for me until now. I am sad at times but being without him
is still more than having him around. Do you know what I mean?


'Kate wrote:
On 31 May 2006 20:15:01 -0700, "April" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

Which one is easier? To admit that you are wrong or say I don't love
you anymore and walk away. After many years of marriage and 3 children,
my marriage went down the drain. If he has to choose between me or his
pride, he will choose his pride anytime. Are all men like that?

Now, I am enjoying the freedom. Should I be guilty about that? My
life is simplier and I have more time for my kids and myself. I am
loving it! I have not cried. I can't for some reason. I made a
decision to enjoy my life and concentrate with my children. I have
learned that I have settle for less for a long time and lost myself in
the process. I don't know if you know what I mean. Do you have any
good advise for me?


Mid to late 30's, right?

I think that losing one's self is more common than not losing one's self
in the roles of daughter, wife, mother, and friend. What we do is what
we become, no? Then the children grow up and don't need us as much
anymo they're in school, they have their own activities, and their
own friends. This is the time when we're left with that, "Huh? What
happened? Who am I?" feeling. Having young children in the home was
nice. It was fun. You gave them a wonderful foundation for the rest of
their lives. Now it's time for a little you time.

What's good about it is that you're itching for change. All you need is
direction! Make a long term goal for yourself. Try a few things out. You
can always change your mind if whatever it is doesn't fit. Go through
your own ideas of who you are and figure out what really fits, what
doesn't fit, what other people told you about yourself, and whether or
not they were right. Get rid of old, outdated, not true stuff. This is a
wonderful period of time for a woman. Enjoy it!


  #5  
Old June 3rd 06, 06:20 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
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Posts: n/a
Default So, I married your pride!

I love my children and I want the best for them. Parenting is a lot
easier now that he is not here. I use to feel that I have one more
child when we were still together. It is a lot of work. Now my
responsibilities have lessen a lot. I find that now I have more time
to myself which I am not use to. I am running out of ideas with my free
time. What are the things you can do when the children are not home
besides chores? Sometimes I just feel that I have to do something
different. Can you suggest something?


"Being a single parent does not make you a bad parent. Bad parenting
would... if you didn't learn how to help your children through the
divorce and separation, then that would be bad parenting.

'Kate wrote:"
On 1 Jun 2006 08:45:52 -0700, "April" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

Thanks for writing.
Yes, mid 30's. My children are in the ages of 6 to 12. They still
need me at this time and I am loving the time with them. You are so
right. When one day they don't need me anymore. What would I do? I
need to make a long term plan. Right now I am just taking it one day at
a time. I have also done an audit about who I am. I have realized
that I have not been myself for a long time because my entire life
circles on my children any husband. Because of so many responsibilities
I am not in the priority list. Why is that?


Because you're a woman, you've been trained to be nice, help others, and
facilitate your husband's career goals. You haven't been trained to make
plans for yourself. That would have felt selfish. Up until now, you've
been ok with giving over the power of what happens in your life to your
husband and children. That's pretty normal in traditional marriages.
It's even worse on women of Hispanic origin. Gender roles are reinforced
by Hispanic culture and religious beliefs.


I never think that I need
to do things for me until now. I am sad at times but being without him
is still more than having him around. Do you know what I mean?


It is easier to parent as a single parent than it is to parent and
manage a marriage that isn't working. You do not have to feel ashamed or
guilty. Those are optional. You're allowed to make things ok for
yourself. You're allowed to be ok with what happened in your marriage.

Being a single parent does not make you a bad parent. Bad parenting
would... if you didn't learn how to help your children through the
divorce and separation, then that would be bad parenting.


  #6  
Old June 3rd 06, 06:31 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default So, I married your pride!


"April" wrote in message
ups.com...
I love my children and I want the best for them. Parenting is a lot
easier now that he is not here. I use to feel that I have one more
child when we were still together. It is a lot of work. Now my
responsibilities have lessen a lot. I find that now I have more time
to myself which I am not use to. I am running out of ideas with my free
time. What are the things you can do when the children are not home
besides chores? Sometimes I just feel that I have to do something
different. Can you suggest something?


Sleep.
Go shopping.
Finish reading a book.
Make yourself, and eat, a hot dinner.
Have a long, hot bath without someone bothering you from the other side of
the door.


"Being a single parent does not make you a bad parent. Bad parenting
would... if you didn't learn how to help your children through the
divorce and separation, then that would be bad parenting.

'Kate wrote:"
On 1 Jun 2006 08:45:52 -0700, "April" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

Thanks for writing.
Yes, mid 30's. My children are in the ages of 6 to 12. They still
need me at this time and I am loving the time with them. You are so
right. When one day they don't need me anymore. What would I do? I
need to make a long term plan. Right now I am just taking it one day at
a time. I have also done an audit about who I am. I have realized
that I have not been myself for a long time because my entire life
circles on my children any husband. Because of so many responsibilities
I am not in the priority list. Why is that?


Because you're a woman, you've been trained to be nice, help others, and
facilitate your husband's career goals. You haven't been trained to make
plans for yourself. That would have felt selfish. Up until now, you've
been ok with giving over the power of what happens in your life to your
husband and children. That's pretty normal in traditional marriages.
It's even worse on women of Hispanic origin. Gender roles are reinforced
by Hispanic culture and religious beliefs.


I never think that I need
to do things for me until now. I am sad at times but being without him
is still more than having him around. Do you know what I mean?


It is easier to parent as a single parent than it is to parent and
manage a marriage that isn't working. You do not have to feel ashamed or
guilty. Those are optional. You're allowed to make things ok for
yourself. You're allowed to be ok with what happened in your marriage.

Being a single parent does not make you a bad parent. Bad parenting
would... if you didn't learn how to help your children through the
divorce and separation, then that would be bad parenting.




  #7  
Old June 3rd 06, 11:14 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default So, I married your pride!


"April" wrote in message
ups.com...
I love my children and I want the best for them. Parenting is a lot
easier now that he is not here. I use to feel that I have one more
child when we were still together. It is a lot of work. Now my
responsibilities have lessen a lot. I find that now I have more time
to myself which I am not use to. I am running out of ideas with my free
time. What are the things you can do when the children are not home
besides chores? Sometimes I just feel that I have to do something
different. Can you suggest something?


Join the Y and take a work out class.
Take a class at a local school towards whatever degree you would earn next.
Volunteer at a community organization.
Take a long walk around your neighborhood and wave to your neighbors - you
may need their help one day.


  #8  
Old June 9th 06, 04:25 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default So, I married your pride!

Join the Y and take a work out class.- I AM A MEMBER BUT NO MOTIVATION
TO GO.
Take a class at a local school towards whatever degree you would earn next.- I AM THINKING OF TAKING DANCING LESSON INSTEAD. LIKE BALL ROOM DANCING. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Volunteer at a community organization. - I WORKED IN A COMMUNITY SERVICE. SO THIS DOES NOT INTEREST ME ANYMORE.
Take a long walk around your neighborhood and wave to your neighbors - you
may need their help one day- TRUE- I DID WALK ONE DAY AND MET ONE OF MY NEIGHBOUR AND MADE A FRIEND.


THANKS SO MUCH. ARE ALL BRILLIANT!

Moon Shyne wrote:
"April" wrote in message
ups.com...
I love my children and I want the best for them. Parenting is a lot
easier now that he is not here. I use to feel that I have one more
child when we were still together. It is a lot of work. Now my
responsibilities have lessen a lot. I find that now I have more time
to myself which I am not use to. I am running out of ideas with my free
time. What are the things you can do when the children are not home
besides chores? Sometimes I just feel that I have to do something
different. Can you suggest something?


Join the Y and take a work out class.
Take a class at a local school towards whatever degree you would earn next.
Volunteer at a community organization.
Take a long walk around your neighborhood and wave to your neighbors - you
may need their help one day.


 




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