Planning to formula feed

Just interested in opinions here on the point of planning to formula feed
even before a baby is born (or perhaps even conceived).

Unplanned pregnancies and exceptional circumstances aside, I can't help but
wonder that if it is too much trouble for a parent to even plan to attempt
to breastfeed (or perhaps even plan not to continue after the first couple
of days breastfeeding) then maybe they either aren't ready or aren't
suitable candidates for parenting. Am not sure yet if my own feelings change
on this subject when the parent in question is under the impression that
formula is 'almost as good'.

Another question is, does your opinion change if there is pressure from
family and friends not to breastfeed?

One other thing, does anyone have any idea or sources of information that
might give some kind of estimate as to how many women plan not to breastfeed
and reasons given?

As it can be a sensitive subject to some, I wish to point out that this
isn't about parents who try to breastfeed and can't or have been told they
can't or have problems breastfeeding etc. Just the idea of 'planning' not to
breastfeed at all or past the first couple of days.

Hope I haven't offended anyone, just interested in what other people think
on the subject.

A good friend of mine who does not have kids yet, has told me in no
uncertain terms that when she has a baby, she will breastfeed for three
months, then its formula the rest of the way. I asked her why, and she told
me that she understands that mother's milk is really the best thing until
three months, but after that, it's "too much trouble".

It's surprising to me, because she saw how easy it was for me to nurse DS
right into toddlerhood. Go figure.

-Shannon
"Lauren" wrote in message
...
Just interested in opinions here on the point of planning to formula feed
even before a baby is born (or perhaps even conceived).

Unplanned pregnancies and exceptional circumstances aside, I can't help
but
wonder that if it is too much trouble for a parent to even plan to attempt
to breastfeed (or perhaps even plan not to continue after the first couple
of days breastfeeding) then maybe they either aren't ready or aren't
suitable candidates for parenting. Am not sure yet if my own feelings
change
on this subject when the parent in question is under the impression that
formula is 'almost as good'.

Another question is, does your opinion change if there is pressure from
family and friends not to breastfeed?

One other thing, does anyone have any idea or sources of information that
might give some kind of estimate as to how many women plan not to
breastfeed
and reasons given?

As it can be a sensitive subject to some, I wish to point out that this
isn't about parents who try to breastfeed and can't or have been told they
can't or have problems breastfeeding etc. Just the idea of 'planning' not
to
breastfeed at all or past the first couple of days.

Hope I haven't offended anyone, just interested in what other people think
on the subject.

"Shannon" wrote in message
...
A good friend of mine who does not have kids yet, has told me in no
uncertain terms that when she has a baby, she will breastfeed for three
months, then its formula the rest of the way. I asked her why, and she
told
me that she understands that mother's milk is really the best thing until
three months, but after that, it's "too much trouble".

It's surprising to me, because she saw how easy it was for me to nurse DS
right into toddlerhood. Go figure.


the first 3 months for me were the hard ones. after that it got alot easier.
& now at 10 months it's 2-3 minutes per feed. i call that pretty easy! i
think some people don't realise it is easier the further along you go.
--
elizabeth (in australia)
DS - born 20-aug-02

Lauren wrote:

Just interested in opinions here on the point of planning to formula feed
even before a baby is born (or perhaps even conceived).

I mentioned my feelings in another thread. My cousin is doing just this.
I find this attitude unfathomable and somewhat cavalier or irresponsible.
Not to even ATTEMPT to nurse?? I just plain don't get it.
Ignoring all the medical data that says clearly that breastmilk is best, I don't
get.
Putting one's own social life before your baby's future I don't get.
Not even LOOKING for help if friends and family aren't supportive....
)geez, why don't I tell you how I feel.....) ;-)
No, the early days of nursing aren't easy, but wtf? It's not like it lasts
forever, even if you DON'T like it. You've still got to feed the baby anyhow,
and why not do what is best?
(My cousin went so far as to say "but do children need what is best?" which I do
not get. it's free. it comes in handy dispensers, it's always available, etc
etc. I can understand that if we're talking bicycles....maybe best is too $$
and not needed. But we're talking brain development, GI protection, antibodies,
etce tc.. *and its free*

Dawn

On Tue, 8 Jul 2003 23:43:53 +1000, "elizabeth emerald"
wrote:
but then again I might just have mucked up the snipping as usual!

the first 3 months for me were the hard ones. after that it got alot easier.
& now at 10 months it's 2-3 minutes per feed. i call that pretty easy! i
think some people don't realise it is easier the further along you go.

Having had the unfortunate experience of not being able to breastfeed
(although I fully intended to) I cannot imagine someone voluntarily
going through the discomfort and misery (not to mention squickiness)
that comes with not breastfeeding. Its yuck. Two months on I am
*still* having to wear a tight bra and as soon as it comes off at
night I leak. Anytime I hear a baby cry ditto. With a baby around it
must be much worse.

Next time...

Megan
--
Seoras David Montgomery, 7 May 2003, 17 hours: sunrise to sunset (homebirth)
Seoras' story: http://seoras.farr-montgomery.com

To e-mail use: megan at farr-montgomery dot com

Lauren wrote:
Unplanned pregnancies and exceptional circumstances aside, I can't help but
wonder that if it is too much trouble for a parent to even plan to attempt
to breastfeed (...snips the rest

You are sticking your head in a hornets nest, this will be a looong discussion...

People make choices based on what they know, or what they think they know. To
say that FF parents are not suitable candidates for parenting is a bit short
sighted IMO. Besides having proper information available (which is often a
really big deal), parents need to find a balance between what is best for the
baby and what is best for them. Besides the physical and mental health of the
mother, her career is also playing a role. BF-ing is just another thing that
needs to be fitted into the busy schedule. It is really a hard choice if you
know up front you cannot pump (enough) at work and without your job you cannot
make ends meet, or your career is instantly ruined.

Another question is, does your opinion change if there is pressure from
family and friends not to breastfeed?

This comes down again to providing proper information. Magazines are loaded
with ads on how easy it is to FF and only so many articles actually deal with
BF. And most of those are again on the problems that women have and often do
not emphasise how easy it can be. If you wouldn't know from friends or mkb
how simple it is, what would your image of BF be based on the every day sources?
Peer pressure can be quite overwhelming and hard to fight.

I just need to recall the ad I saw this weekend, which literally said 'well,
BF was good for the first three months, but now that I return to work, I find
it a comfortable thought that FF can provide the same nourishment for my baby'.
How short-sighted is that!? What about pumping, nursing at work, which are all
regulated by LAW in the Netherlands (where the ad came from). Many parents to
be and their relatives are exposed to such skewed information and so many Dutch
women think 'heck, for only 3 months I am not going through all the trouble'.

As it can be a sensitive subject to some, I wish to point out that this
isn't about parents who try to breastfeed and can't or have been told they
can't or have problems breastfeeding etc. Just the idea of 'planning' not to
breastfeed at all or past the first couple of days.

I feel that everyone should be given room for his or her choice, as long
as the choice is based on proper information. Providing this info should
be the role of physicians, OB/GYN's and ped's worldwide, and there is room
for enormous improvement there, as we all know. Besides that, rules and
laws are needed to allow women to work and have babies without jeopardizing
their career. As long as these issues are open, all we can do is keep talking
to other women and share our experiences, but leave the choice to them and
respect that.

--
-- Ilse
mom to Olaf (07/15/2002)
TTC #2
"What's the use of brains if you are a girl?"
Aletta Jacobs, first Dutch woman to receive a PhD

"Lauren" wrote in message
...
Just interested in opinions here on the point of planning to formula feed
even before a baby is born (or perhaps even conceived).

Unplanned pregnancies and exceptional circumstances aside, I can't help
but
wonder that if it is too much trouble for a parent to even plan to attempt
to breastfeed (or perhaps even plan not to continue after the first couple
of days breastfeeding) then maybe they either aren't ready or aren't
suitable candidates for parenting. Am not sure yet if my own feelings
change
on this subject when the parent in question is under the impression that
formula is 'almost as good'.

Another question is, does your opinion change if there is pressure from
family and friends not to breastfeed?

One other thing, does anyone have any idea or sources of information that
might give some kind of estimate as to how many women plan not to
breastfeed
and reasons given?

As it can be a sensitive subject to some, I wish to point out that this
isn't about parents who try to breastfeed and can't or have been told they
can't or have problems breastfeeding etc. Just the idea of 'planning' not
to
breastfeed at all or past the first couple of days.

Hope I haven't offended anyone, just interested in what other people think
on the subject.




A lot of my friends who are in the military, don't try to breastfeed. I've
had a couple who have done it for the 6 weeks they're on maternity leave,
but don't continue once they go back to their regular duty. The military
isn't very accomodating of pumping schedules and such, so I can understand
why they don't try. I don't think it makes them bad parents because they
don't plan on trying to breastfeed.

Lauren wrote in message news:cizOa.10619

I can't help but wonder that if it is too much trouble for a parent to even
plan to attempt to breastfeed (or perhaps even plan not to continue after
the first couple of days breastfeeding) then maybe they either aren't ready
or aren't
suitable candidates for parenting.

I think it is a pretty strong statement. I know plenty of families who
haven't planned on breastfeeding and they certainly were ready for the
commitment and who have gone on to raise wonderful adults. I really can't
stand this attitude. Breastfeeding doesn't make a good parent. There are
lots of other things involved.

Some women are squicked out about breastfeeding so they don't want to do it.
Some go back to work relatively soon, so they don't want to bother. Lots of
women don't breastfeed because they simply do not understand that it is
important. Their doctors are not giving them the proper information. I think
more women would breastfeed if their doctors were more pro-breastfeeding.
Most doctors will tell you (probably a CYA situation) that formula is just
as good and most women believe their doctors.

I think the pendulum is swinging back to more women breastfeeding. Certainly
now, everyone I know is breastfeeding their babies. I also think that since
more people have access to the computer and are educating themselves more,
the word is spreading that breast is best.

Another question is, does your opinion change if there is pressure from
family and friends not to breastfeed?

I don't care one way or the other what other families do about feeding their
babies. If a new mom asks me advice about formula, I will go into the breast
is best and hopefully be able to change their mind. Most people just do not
have the information available to them and the support they need. I truly
think it begins with doctors. As soon as they adopt the attitude that breast
is best and are educated more about it, then I think more and more women
will breastfeed.
--
Sue
mom to three girls

"Shannon" wrote in message
...
A good friend of mine who does not have kids yet, has told me in no
uncertain terms that when she has a baby, she will breastfeed for three
months, then its formula the rest of the way. I asked her why, and she
told
me that she understands that mother's milk is really the best thing until
three months, but after that, it's "too much trouble".

It's surprising to me, because she saw how easy it was for me to nurse DS
right into toddlerhood. Go figure.

You mean, she wants to get through the hard part and then quit right when it
gets REALLY easy?

That's just sort of weird.

Jenrose

"Lauren" wrote in message
...
Just interested in opinions here on the point of planning to formula feed
even before a baby is born (or perhaps even conceived).



The only thing I can think of is strange (IMO) sexual hangups and social
stigma issues.


Unplanned pregnancies and exceptional circumstances aside, I can't help
but
wonder that if it is too much trouble for a parent to even plan to attempt
to breastfeed (or perhaps even plan not to continue after the first couple
of days breastfeeding) then maybe they either aren't ready or aren't
suitable candidates for parenting. Am not sure yet if my own feelings
change
on this subject when the parent in question is under the impression that
formula is 'almost as good'.


I have a friend like this. We all have blind spots in our lives. I am not
willing to say that someone who is not, and will not allow themselves to be,
educated about breastfeeding is not a suitable candidate for parenthood.
Luckily, in this day and age, formula is not that bad. AND it is not that
long ago that breastfeeding was the "dumb" way, the cheap out way. Science
leads to formula, and science is progress... Blah blah blah. Anyway, some
people jjst cannot do different then their parents did.


Another question is, does your opinion change if there is pressure from
family and friends not to breastfeed?


I would personally vocally attack anyone who was not supportive of a mother
who truly wanted to breastfeed. These people should be shot on site. (I do
not really mean it. This buttinskihood just really urks me.)

One other thing, does anyone have any idea or sources of information that
might give some kind of estimate as to how many women plan not to
breastfeed
and reasons given?


My guess is that the reason given has little relationship to the real reason
in some cases.

As it can be a sensitive subject to some, I wish to point out that this
isn't about parents who try to breastfeed and can't or have been told they
can't or have problems breastfeeding etc. Just the idea of 'planning' not
to
breastfeed at all or past the first couple of days.

Hope I haven't offended anyone, just interested in what other people think
on the subject.



I tend to like to change the subject when my friend tries to tell me she
"couldn't" breastfeed. I know we are speaking such different languages with
such different backgrounds and understanding that to proceed with the
conversation just annoys me.

S