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#1
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More than one child
OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway. - Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child - How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping with resentment issues for the older one. - When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs toys - What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger child - Any techniques for taking two children on errands My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you could give me about your own experiences would be great. Thanks, Shelley mom to Jacob (2.5) edd march 30/05 |
#2
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More than one child
Shelley wrote:
OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway. It's different for different people (and different kids). Some people find going from 1-2 hardest. Others find going from 0-1 hardest. Personally, I found 1-2 harder because we didn't change our lifestyle much with just one child. Having a second meant a more significant lifestyle change, especially since my second was very active. Still, it wasn't *that* big a deal. - Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child This has never been a problem for us. I wouldn't anticipate a problem unless they were sharing a room. - How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping with resentment issues for the older one. This depends a great deal on the age difference, temperaments of the children, and family dynamics. Under normal circumstances, I don't think there's any reason to anticipate serious trouble as long as you respect the firstborn's need for continued time, affection, and support. - When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs toys You have to keep the older kid's toys away from the baby. Keep them in the child's room or other contained space. Some people put the older child in a play yard with the toys with little pieces. - What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger child Books, special toys, talking, videos, etc. Actually, though, that's never been a problem for me. My babies were speedy eaters, so there wasn't that long for the older kid to get into trouble. Just prepare in advance and you'll likely be fine. You also have to be willing to stop nursing and deal with any real issues that arise; otherwise, number one will quickly realize he has you over a barrel while nursing. - Any techniques for taking two children on errands With that age gap, I would think you could just pop the baby in a carrier or stroller and have Jacob walk along with you. You just have to keep errands short enough and time them well so that you don't have meltdowns. To be honest, I think you just do it. It's not as easy or as quick as running errands solo, but I don't think there's any magic to doing it other than planning in advance so that you're not taking hungry, cranky children out for too long. Best wishes, Ericka |
#3
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More than one child
Shelley wrote:
- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child IME, no, although my new babies never shared a room with the older child, so that might be a factor. - How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping with resentment issues for the older one. This is very dependent on the two children involved. My experience was that my older child(ren) were never angry at the new baby but they were sometimes angry with *me* for not being able to do all the things I used to do for them (esp. in the immediately postpartum and newborn period when I couldn't carry or sit and snuggle with the older child as much as before). - When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs toys When you figure this one out, let me know g! Seriously, we had to watch like a hawk when Vernon reached the mobility/everything-in-the-mouth stage because both his older siblings had lots of toys with small pieces. I tried to relegate such toys to the older childrens' bedroom, but that didn't really work very well because neither of my older kids wanted to play up there when everyone else was downstairs. One trick that I used with good effect when my second was at this stage was to have my older child play with the toys in the playpen. This was also useful when the older child was trying to build something complex only to have the baby/toddler repeatedly destroy it. This didn't work after #3 came along because both #1 and #2 would have wanted to use the playpen at the same time and they both wouldn't fit any more! - What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger child With my first two, this wasn't a big issue because I was tandem nursing. With #3, it wasn't too much of a problem because #2 could be occupied by playing with #1. I did sometimes have the older child sit next to me and read a book to him/her while I nursed the baby, though. - Any techniques for taking two children on errands Not really. Just try to be sure both are well-rested and well-fed before heading out. -- Be well, Barbara Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7) This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker: "Leave no child a dime." All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#4
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More than one child
OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway. Personally I found going from 1 to 2 the hardest, but my gap was only 16 months. - Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child Not for us and the baby has always shared with a sibling. We pick the sibling who will sleep through it to share a room (so far that's always been child #1). - How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping with resentment issues for the older one. We've never had resentment issues. #1 was too young I think when #2 was born to be jealous or have any problems. It's also important how you present a new baby. - When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs toys Make the older child keep the toys away, where the baby can't reach, only get them out when baby is napping. - What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger child I didn't breastfeed but when I fed the baby the older child always liked to look at a book while I fed the baby. #1 did it when I fed #2, and #3 does it when I feed #4. - Any techniques for taking two children on errands A Baby Bjorn or some kind of carrier/sling for the baby. That way you have your hands free. It's a lot easier than you think it will be. Also start watching moms with 2 kids now and see how they do it. I was worried about taking 3 out but through watching moms of 3, I got ideas. My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you could give me about your own experiences would be great. Thanks, Shelley mom to Jacob (2.5) edd march 30/05 Sorry, our biggest gap is now - 2.5 yrs between #3 and #4. |
#5
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More than one child
Shelley wrote:
- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child Not for mine and they were in the same room. - How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping with resentment issues for the older one. We didn't have a problem. We continued to give #1 what he needed as much as we could. We included him in everything. He met us at the hospital and the baby was nursing when he walked in. I let him hold the baby nearly every time he asked. We talked about his baby brother a lot. We set up all the baby things 6 weeks before the baby came. - When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs toys This wasn't a problem really but they are only 24 months apart. - What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger child *Very* child proofed house so that the toddler was safe, cuddled the toddler next to me while the baby was eating, read to the toddler. I would have used TV but the toddler wasn't interested. - Any techniques for taking two children on errands Try to time it when no one is tired and hungry and only do 2 at a time. More then that and mine melt down. Honestly it wasn't to big of a problem for me. I find the arguing and bickering harder to deal with now that they are older. -- Nikki |
#6
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More than one child
In ,
Shelley wrote: *OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I IMO not much. Zero to one kid was a HUGE life-shattering adjustment. One to two? Hah. Piece of cake. *- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child Nope. Never did mine. My kids are in rooms across the hall from each other. There is a bathroom in between their rooms. *- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping *with resentment issues for the older one. Mine was 2 yrs 1.5 mos when his sister was born. He loved her from day one, but was royally ****ed at me for a couple of months *- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs *toys Supervision. *- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger *child I let him share my lap with the baby, I let him play with his Leap Pad, I read him books while nursing the baby, I sent him on errands to bring me water or bring the baby a toy.... *- Any techniques for taking two children on errands Um. Not sure about special techniques - just do it. A sling or other baby carrier is most helpful -- hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net "uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est." not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large |
#7
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More than one child
Shelley wrote: OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway. Personally, I didn't find going from 1 to 2 children was particularly hard - nothing like the difficulty in adjusting to having the first one. However, my children are 5.5 years apart, so by the time #2 was born, #1 was in kindergarten all day, and could do a lot for herself. It wasn't like having a toddler and a newborn. - Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child The burglar alarm going off has never wakened my older child. Neither did the baby. - How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping with resentment issues for the older one. My daughter was furious with us, and despised her little brother, for 2-3 months. We waited it out - she got over it. - When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs toys We watched him really closely, and put extra effort into making sure my daughter's stuff was put away regularly. - What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger child Since mine was 5.5 when her brother was born, this didn't apply - she was used to amusing herself by that point. - Any techniques for taking two children on errands I avoid taking children on errands whenever possible, but by the time I had 2, my daughter was old enough not to be any trouble. My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you could give me about your own experiences would be great. This is just my personal opinion: I would want to find a preschool or mothers-morning-out drop-off program I could take him to a few mornings a week, so I could have a little time alone with the new baby. Clisby Thanks, Shelley mom to Jacob (2.5) edd march 30/05 |
#8
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More than one child
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#9
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More than one child
A lot of people find going from 1 to 2 is actually the hardest. I have to
admit I did. Mainly because your first born is used to being an only child and having all of your attention. It gets easier though. I am expecting # 5 now so it couldn't have been that hard or it would have put me off Hope the answers below help a little - Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child depends on whether they are sharing a room - I just found it best to get the baby used to falling sleep despite noise in the house. Some children can sleep through any noise - my son slept through his brother falling out of the top bunk a few years back - lots of crying loudly and still he snored away I have never found the baby disturbed my older children - but then we co-slept so to be honest the bbay doesn't cry as much - I have never left my babies to cry it out so it has never really been an issue - one of the things I love about co-sleeping is that the baby doesn't really have a need to cry because mommy and food is right there next to it. - How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping with resentment issues for the older one. Have the older chld involved as much as possible - have a gift from the new baby for the older child after the birth - have the child come to the hospital and bring the baby home with you - get someone else to carry the baby inside and you hold the older childs hand. Say things like 'what a lucky baby to have you as an older brother/ sister' - rather than 'aren't you lucky to have a baby sister' and through the pregnancy say all the things that babies can't do but the big sibling can - and remind them that the baby will sleep and feed and cry and won't be able to play for a long long time. - When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs toys Try to get older child to keep their small toys in their bedroom - tidy up regularly - check the floor area near baby - hope for the best! - What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger child storytime, videos, snacktime, colouring or playdoh, cuddles, toys, - it was never an issue with mine - they just continued playing etc while In nursed. - Any techniques for taking two children on errands Use the type of car seat that clips onto a stroller easily so you don't have to take baby in and out of the car seat. Find the best time of day for both children - not too tired, not hungry etc. Don't try to get too many errands done in one day. My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you could give me about your own experiences would be great. good age gap - you know your child best - you know whether he will wnat to help fetch diapers etc or whether he would prefer to be left with his toys. Make any changes to DS's routine NOW rather than too close either side of the birth. Get DS's daddy or another involved adult to spend more time with your DS so he is not quite so attached to you - can help the jealousy. Read books together about having a new baby in the family. Get him a doll to care for while you care for baby. |
#10
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More than one child
- Any techniques for taking two children on errands I have been known to go out with a friend that has 4 children full time and a step child on weekends. With my daughter if we all go out that is 5 kids all 5 and under and one 11 year old. If we just bring the youngest 3 we have 3 under the age of 3. Her youngest son and my daughter get mistaken for twins a lot Anyway There is no set game plan for taking them all out. It depends on the temperment of the kids that day and the temperments of the moms. I would say start with the longest errand and then go to the shorter ones... for instance go shopping for food first if you need to bring a cooler and put the cold stuff in there and then work back to your house. That way if they are cranky after stop #3 you dont have to figure out how to entertain a cranky baby while shopping as fast as you can because as you may have noticed the day your child is the crankiest is the day the cashier is having the hardest time keeping the line moving. Tori -- Bonnie 3/20/02 Xavier due 10/17/04 |
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