More than one child

Shelley writes:
: OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
: know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the
: lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of
: my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway.

: - Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child

Less than you would think.

: - How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
: with resentment issues for the older one.

Tandem nursing.

: - When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
: toys

????

: - What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
: child

Tandem nursing.

: - Any techniques for taking two children on errands

Heck, is there a technique for taking one kid on an errand? :-0
Seriously older walks, younger rides in a sling.

: My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you
: could give me about your own experiences would be great.

Hmm. At that age, he could well be in his own room. Then I think
it would be very unlikely that he would wake when the baby does.
Especially if you co-sleep with the younger.

But at three years old, it is less likely you will have the opportunity
to tandem nurse. In that case, you can reduce resentment issues by
having the older kid "help" change diapers, etc. Yes, it is more
work than if you just do it yourself, but it is also satisfying for
the older kid. You can also read to the older kid while you nurse.

Another thing we did that made a BIG difference was to take the older
sibling to all the midwife appointments. This helped the older kid
"own" the well-beign of the younger. I would also suggest offering
to have the older kid present for the younger's birth. This also had
a bonding effect.

: Thanks,
: Shelley
: mom to Jacob (2.5)
: edd march 30/05


good luck,
Larry

Shelley wrote in message
om...
OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the
lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of
my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway.

I love it!
#1dd is 3yrs 9months
#2dd is 9 months.

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child
Never (yet!!)

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.
Older child very protective. Slightly more problems now #2 is moving (fast)
and eats things belonging to #1. Generally they love each other and it's so
cute to see them giggling together over something little.
- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys
#1 knows that if she leaves things on the floor then #2 will eat/damage
them. Great incentive to keep them out of the way! We're moving her into her
new room soon with a stairgate on the door, so all small toys will be
confined to there.

- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child
Read books is the best. Otherwise Let them do jobs for you. #1 loves to
write letters so she'll tell me what she wants to say and either I write it
down for her to copy, or spell it out. Colouring/activity books are also
good. These give her a sense of importance-and of course #2 can't do this so
she knows that what she's doing is special.
An alternative is to feed them both at the same time (bunk bed effect-but
make sure #2 is on top!!!)

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands

Double buggy, buggy board, pram seat on top of pram. Older one pushing own
buggy. Make sure you've snacks to keep #1 happy if you have to sit down and
feed #2. Expect it to take a long time.

My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you
could give me about your own experiences would be great.

I think having 2 is lovely. They amuse each other, and #1 tells me if #2 is
doing something she shouldn't ("mummy, she's climbing upstairs" "isn't the
stairgate closed?" "I opened it because she wanted to go upstairs!")
Debbie

"Shelley" wrote in message
Well everyone is different as each child's temperment is different. I can
give you my interpretation of how my family works though.

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child

All my kids slept in a bassinet in our room for the first six months or so.
They were then transferred to their own room. My kids have shared a room
with each other since that point. A waking baby has never been a problem.
Although, my kids sleep soundly and I started that when they were babies and
didn't tip toe around. I am also a heavy believer in white noise.

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.

No clue how your child is going to react. If you make having a sibling no
big deal and everyone does it, then chances are your child will not have a
problem. Some things you can do though, is to include your firstborn in the
care of the sibling. However, don't do what I did and try to make the oldest
too responsible for the sibling, only let him be responsible for the things
he request in caring for the baby. I'm sure there may be some resentment
with the oldest, but try not to blame the new baby for your lack of time.
Just tell your son that when you are finished with what you are doing you
can help him/spend time with him/read and so on. The biggest help to me when
our second was born was to have my husband take on the bedtime routine with
our oldest so that I could concentrate with the new baby. Perhaps starting
this now would be the best time to do that so your son is used to the new
routine, if your husband doesn't already do this. Have your husband take
your son out on errands once the new baby gets here so that you can bond
with the new baby uninterrupted.

- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys

This is when the playpen came in the best use. I would put the older child
in the playpen to play with small pieces and/or put the new baby in the
playpen to keep them safe from the oldest.

- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child

Reading a book, quiet activities like coloring, play doh, trains, playing
with special cars or whatever your son is interested in. Watching a video
helps. \

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands

Since your son is as old as my first is when my second was born, I would use
the sling and older child would either walk or she would stay in the cart or
stroller.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"Sue" wrote in message
...
"Shelley" wrote in message

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.

No clue how your child is going to react. If you make having a sibling no
big deal and everyone does it, then chances are your child will not have a
problem. Some things you can do though, is to include your firstborn in
the
care of the sibling.

When my twins were born, Emmaline was only 22 months. She resumed nursing
(she'd had to be weaned the last 3 months of my pregnancy due to high-risk
preterm labor issues). Since she was allowed to nurse occasionally with the
one twin who nursed, there wasn't the resentment there. I do not remember
any resentment from her.

When Gwendolyn was born, the twins had just turned 4 and Emmaline was 5.
There was some resentment about them not being allowed to nurse (since I now
clearly had milk) but we made a point of telling them that this was OUR baby
and THEIR baby, it was EVERYBODY's baby, and they have enjoyed their
possession of a baby sister ever since. (Well, mostly. She's been into their
stuff lately and they're less thrilled.)

--angela

"Shelley" wrote in message
om...

My kids are 2.5 and 3 months, so not all questions will be relevant.

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child

No, because the baby doesn't cry at night. She's in our room and I wake up
and feed her long before it gets to a crying stage.

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.

My older child was fine at first. She's jealous of my time, not the baby.


- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child

I have her continue to do whatever she was doing. She'll often come cuddle
up to me (on my side) and we'll read books, or sing songs, etc. If I have
to, I turn on the TV. I try to make sure the older child has a drink before
I start.

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands

Right now everything is fine if I wear the baby in the sling, because she
never fusses in there. The challenge for me doing errands has been the
older child, and it still is.

Nancy

Say things like 'what a
lucky baby to have you as an older brother/ sister' - rather than 'aren't
you lucky to have a baby sister'

Along those lines, I've been talking to my belly when DD is around and
telling the baby about his/her very special sister and all the neat things
she (the big sister) can do and how I can't wait for him/her to meet her.
I've been trying to talk about the things they can do together, how the baby
will know DD's voice and how DD will probably be able to make the baby
giggle, etc. So far she's really excited about the baby, but then again, we
have a while to go before it's a reality.


--
-Sara
Mommy to DD, 28 months
And Someone Due in February 2005

"Shelley" wrote in message
om...
"Nikki" wrote in message
...
Shelley wrote:

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child

Not for mine and they were in the same room.

I like to hear that.

I like to, also; but DS, who sleeps down the hallway from us, wakes up at
5am when DD, who sleeps in our room, wakes up and cries for her feeding. We
take him back to his room, but sometimes, he is already wide awake.

OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one.

Personally I found it very different and much more difficult--at first. Then
you get used to it. And BTW, anything more than two is not much different at
all, IMO.

The primary difficulty I had was dividing my time and attention. At first I
just couldn't understand how I was supposed to attend to the needs of two
children at once. My three-year-old spent most of two months lying on the sofa
in pajamas watching Disney movies until I figured it out. :-p

snip


- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child

NOTHING wakes up my older kids! Not even being screamed at that it's time to
get up RIGHT NOW.


- How does older child react to younger child.

IME, usually with a few regression symptoms but often with wanting to help/love
on the new baby (sometimes too hard, or in inappropriate ways, like trying to
feed raisins to a newborn or picking him up and carrying him down the hall!


Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.

Don't suddenly treat your older child as though he or she had grown older
overnight--old baby has not changed, only your perspective has.


- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys

Make the older child keep it in their own room.

- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child

It's not very p.c. advice, but of course the t.v. can be helpful in the early
days. Later on, with BF more routine, you can easily attend to the big one
while nursing the little one.

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands

No big deal. Just don't let yourself get all worked up about it--just do it!
Either use a stroller for the big one and a sling for the little one or get a
double stroller. Or sometimes I even used the sling for the bigger one and put
the infant in the stroller.



My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you
could give me about your own experiences would be great.

My first two were about that far apart. It's a great gap, really very easy
compared to the one year gap between two and three!


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth