Review: New York Minute (***)

NEW YORK MINUTE
A film review by Steve Rhodes

Copyright 2004 Steve Rhodes

RATING (0 TO ****): ***


NEW YORK MINUTE stars the Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, a massive
acting franchise who have literally made something like a billion dollars
off of their direct-to-video movies and all of their associated merchandise.
NEW YORK MINUTE, however, is their first theatrical release since 1995's IT
TAKES TWO, when the now 17-year-old twins were almost a decade younger.



So will their large and rabid fan base of tweens and grown-up tweens (a.k.a.
teenagers) be disappointed? Not for a New York minute. The surprise,
however, is that this good-spirited and enormously cute film will even
appeal to relatively older fogies, from college kids to senior citizens. If
you've ever enjoyed a screwball comedy before and if you go into NEW YORK
MINUTE with an open mind about silly kids' comedies, you'll have a great
time.



The story concerns two very different twins. Jane Ryan (Ashley Olsen) is a
type A+ personality whose life is minutely inscribed in color in her day
planner. Wanting to get away from her bad news sister, Roxy (Mary-Ashley
Olsen), Jane is off to make a speech, competing against girls with names
like "Muffy," in order to win a scholarship to Oxford. Jane is a
clotheshorse with a killer closet, but Roxy's kinky wardrobe looks like a
stink bomb went off in her closet.



Let me get this out of the way first. One of the most asked questions about
the Olsens on the Internet is whether there is a nude scene in their new
movie. Actually, there are several, but all we see in this correctly rated
PG movie is a naked back. In one hilarious dream sequence, the anal
retentive Jane envisions herself speaking naked before a crowd since she
forgot to dress. Jane, you have to understand, is such a persnickety person
that she uses two toilet seat covers when going to the bathroom. And when
no covers are available, well, that proves to be fodder for a humorous
moment.



The movie's music choices are terrific. When we first see the twins coming
out of their bedrooms, "War" is played loudly. The best song, however, is
sung intentionally badly by Eugene Levy (A MIGHTY WIND). Levy plays a
deadbeat gumshoe with a job as a truant officer. As this would-be Dirty
Harry tracks down his most prized perp, the ever-absent Roxy, he sings to
himself in his junker of a car, "Bad girl, bad girl, what you gonna do when
I come for you?"



This high energy picture used no less than sixty-six stunt people. For
what? Well, the wacky plot concerns a microchip that the girls end up with.
Actually not the girls, but a bizarre looking little dog who swallows it.
As they carry the dog, a doofus bad guy chases them all over New York. (In
a blink-and-you'll-miss-it-moment, the twins pass a street vendor hawking
pirated Mary-Kate and Ashley DVDs. I didn't see if NEW YORK MINUTE was
among them.)



The movie's best gag has a senator's son, Trey Lipton (Jared Padalecki),
walking in on the girls in their robes just after their showers. After they
both do a classic slo-mo, sexy hair flip, he looks in disbelief at the
gorgeous blond twins -- who kinda snuck into his hotel room to get cleaned
up -- and exclaims, "Is it my birthday?"



Even if their big message moment falls a little flat, most of the movie
sizzles with unbounded charm. Can the Olsens, like the Energizer bunny,
keep on going when they reach adulthood? Although it might seem impossible,
this movie argues that they probably can.



NEW YORK MINUTE runs 1:26. It is rated PG for "mild sensuality and thematic
elements" and would be acceptable for all ages.



The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, May 7, 2004. In
the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century
theaters and the Camera Cinemas.



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