How are the new moms and babies doing?

Hi everyone. I have been gone for a while. I came back and wrote a
birth story a few weeks ago but in the middle my computer crashed and
I lost it and I just didn't have the heart to redo it yet. I will post
the long version soon but the short version is that Charlotte Amelia
arrived on 5/20, exactly 2 weeks late without being induced. It was a
long labor (27 hours) but I managed it with no epidural, I didn't even
ask for one which made me really proud of myself. I tore pretty badly
but healed quickly. Baby was 7lbs 4oz at birth, 21.5 inches, apgar 9
and 9.

We had a little trouble with breastfeeding the first two weeks, and
she went down to 6lbs 11oz, but we got the hang of it much better the
third week -- or so I thought. She was nursing every 2 hours around
the clock and I thought we had a decent latch and I could hear her
swallowing. Granted, she was only swallowing every 4th or 5th suck,
but I thought that was okay. I had access to a breastfeeding support
group and a lactation expert, but I didn't consult them because I
thought we were doing pretty well.

Imagine my surprise when I took her in for her 4th week visit and she
was only back up to 7lbs 6oz. The pediatrician said she was just
small. It seems odd that a 5'7" woman who normally weighs 155 pounds
who has a 5' 10" husband who weighs 250, should have a baby in the 5th
percentile. She seemed fairly happy and healthy and the only problem I
was having is that she wouldn't sleep. It was a real struggle to get
her to sleep and she was only sleeping for 1-2 hours at a time. Some
days she'd be up and fussy for 6-7 hours and the only thing I could
think of was to put her to the breast. But she'd be too tired to nurse
properly -- and too hungry to sleep.

My nipples were sore (which should have been a clue, but I was so
tired I wasn't recalling all of the good things I learned in my
childbirth prep classes, for example, if you're doing it right it
shouldn't hurt) I was exhausted and I was sick of all of the
unsolicited advice I was getting from my family. (She's just colicky,
you're making it worse by feeding her too much, it's a food allergy,
you should cut out dairy, you should get rid of your cats, bouncing
her to soothe her to sleep is damaging her brain, you should just give
up and switch to formula, she's fussy because she needs fresh air and
sunshine, you keep her inside too much, etc.).

Finally, after feeding her CONSTANTLY around the clock and having
marathon crying sessions (both of us) with me desperately trying to
figure out what the problem was I decided to try a new breastfeeding
position. I had been doing the cross cradle hold because that's the
one my teacher and my book said was the easiest for a beginner. I
decided to try football hold. What a world of difference! For the past
2 days she has been positively GULPING milk (sometimes one suck per
swallow) and falls asleep quickly and easily and stays asleep for 2-4
hours at a time. My nipples are no longer sore. I'm alternating
between the two holds to make sure she drains all areas of the breast.
My supply is way up and I'm finally having luck pumping.

She is 7 weeks old and we'll see on Wednesday how many ounces she
gains by 8 weeks. I'll keep you posted. I hope my story can help
someone. My best advice for new moms is: go to a breastfeeding or new
mom support group if you have access to one even if you think you're
doing fine. Don't worry if your baby loses weight the first week, but
if you don't see a normal growth curve over the next week or two don't
wait and just hope things will improve on their own as I did. Consult
an expert. Part of what has made me so frazzled over the past month or
so is that I was worried that her slow weight gain would cause her to
have developmental problems mentally or physically. She seems fine,
perfect in fact, but that's not a happy thought.

-V.

"Vijay" wrote in message
Hi everyone. I have been gone for a while. I came back and wrote a
birth story a few weeks ago but in the middle my computer crashed and
I lost it and I just didn't have the heart to redo it yet. I will post
the long version soon but the short version is that Charlotte Amelia
arrived on 5/20, exactly 2 weeks late without being induced. It was a
long labor (27 hours) but I managed it with no epidural, I didn't even
ask for one which made me really proud of myself. I tore pretty badly
but healed quickly. Baby was 7lbs 4oz at birth, 21.5 inches, apgar 9
and 9.
snip

Congratulations V! Welcome to baby Charlotte! I'm sorry to hear about your
breastfeeding challenges, but it sounds like you've finally figured out
something that works for you. Have you been posting on MKB?

--
Em
edd 9/23/03

"andrea" wrote in message ...
Hi everyone,

I just wondered how you and your babies are. How many of you want more
babies? I am broody already!

Hmm, I'm finding one enough for me at the moment! Particularly since
last night was not our finest hour. We have a growing body of
evidence that onions do not agree with the Bug (who will be 5 weeks on
Sunday), and I had a lot with dinner yesterday. So nobody got much
sleep last night.

Otherwise, we're doing well. She's always gassy, but goes in and out
of being fussy -- I'll probably do the elimination diet that
Nursing_Mothers_Companion recommends to tease out how much of it is
food related. Just stopping the onions had given us a few days of an
agreeable little angel until last night. She's teasing me with her
almost smiles -- she'll be hanging out in good spirits, and get a
happy expression on her face that's not quite a full-on smile. I'm
expecting it any day now.

She hasn't been weighed since her 2 week visit, but she's visibly
bigger and outgrowing some of her outfits. Breastfeeding is going
pretty well -- I've nursed in public a few times, usually in her sling
which is quite handy. I'm also working on side-lying nursing and
we're making progress. I often pull her into bed for the last morning
nursing and when we wake back up she has milk all over her face --
it's very cute. Unfortunately today my right boob feels like it
caught fire. We've gotten kind of lazy on proper latch, so now I'm
being a strict taskmaster about it and if it doesn't get better soon
I'll get checked for thrush.

As for me, been feeling good for a while and definitely itching to get
out and about more, though I'm not ready to leave her behind (she did
take her first bottle beautifully last week -- phew!). It's too bad
that modern life is built so that it's so hard to do adult activities
if you have a baby with you. I think of the women in rural West
Africa where I lived for a while, and they did mostly the same things
with a small baby that they did without one. I've been getting around
here and there, and my mom's been coming over some, but I'm trying to
figure out more ways to fill my time that aren't incompatible with
having a nursing baby.

Best wishes to all the new mums and soon-to-be mums!

Kate
and Bug June 8 2003

"Em" wrote in message news:TtpPa.31867$ye4.22672@sccrnsc01...
"Vijay" wrote in message
Hi everyone. I have been gone for a while. I came back and wrote a
birth story a few weeks ago but in the middle my computer crashed and
I lost it and I just didn't have the heart to redo it yet. I will post
the long version soon but the short version is that Charlotte Amelia
arrived on 5/20, exactly 2 weeks late without being induced. It was a
long labor (27 hours) but I managed it with no epidural, I didn't even
ask for one which made me really proud of myself. I tore pretty badly
but healed quickly. Baby was 7lbs 4oz at birth, 21.5 inches, apgar 9
and 9.
snip

Congratulations V! Welcome to baby Charlotte! I'm sorry to hear about your
breastfeeding challenges, but it sounds like you've finally figured out
something that works for you. Have you been posting on MKB?

Thanks! We're doing fine now. I've learned that she is a high-needs
baby which is partly why her weight gain has been slow. She was
probably getting almost enough milk, but her constant fussiness caused
her to use energy that she should use for growing. I'm typing
one-handed right now while bouncing her on an exercise ball bc she
won't let me put her down or hold still -- EVER. I've learned some
great tips from askdrsears.com and I've ordered a sling and the fussy
baby book.

Ah-- she's alseep. Just gave her to DH. I haven't been posting to MKB
but I've been reading a lot of other people's posts-- she's such a
high-needs infant that I've barely had time since she was born to do
anything. Sometimes I have to put her in her crib just so I can use
the bathroom and she screams bloody murder the whole time.

Being a new parent, I thought that was just how newborns are, but I
didn't seem to recall any of my three siblings being this way. After a
few weeks had passed and she didn't get any less clingy and fussy I
started to do some research and when I read the 12 characteristics of
a high-needs baby on Dr. Sears' website I knew I wasn't alone. What
bad luck to get a high-needs child the first time! I was prepared for
our lives to change totally, and I knew how much work a new baby was
going to be, but THIS. Oh boy.

She hates the swing, the carseat and the cradle. I'm asking myself why
I bought all of this stuff! She will only sleep on my chest or the
cradle if she's already in a DEEP sleep, and even then you're taking
the risk that she wakes up from what should be a two-hour nap after
only 15 minutes. She wants to nurse every 1.5-2 hours around the
clock. If I give her one breast she sleeps for 45 minutes to an hour
but only on my chest. If I give her one breast, burp her and then give
her the other she's good for 2-3 hours. I get plenty of sleep since
she has to sleep on me, but I haven't showered in two days, my kitchen
sink is full of dishes, and my husband has to fix our meals.

We're hanging in there. She really is a gorgeous creature, and so
healthy and strong despite her dainty size. We love all of the funny
faces and movements she makes. We're enjoying her good moods when we
can and coping when she's at her fussiest.

-V.

agggghh is how we are doing today .... my little one wont' stop crying this
am i am at whits end have no clue what is wrong he is fed changed diapered
done too... Is it possible for a newborn to be teething? he is 1 9 days old
but is it possible? I feel little bumps that feel like teeth on his lower
jaw? or am i just crazy? please tell me i am not crazy!! he is finally in
bed but not sure for how long that will last... any ones help would be
grateful!!
wendy

"Akuvikate" wrote in message
om...
"andrea" wrote in message
...
Hi everyone,

I just wondered how you and your babies are. How many of you want more
babies? I am broody already!

Hmm, I'm finding one enough for me at the moment! Particularly since
last night was not our finest hour. We have a growing body of
evidence that onions do not agree with the Bug (who will be 5 weeks on
Sunday), and I had a lot with dinner yesterday. So nobody got much
sleep last night.

Otherwise, we're doing well. She's always gassy, but goes in and out
of being fussy -- I'll probably do the elimination diet that
Nursing_Mothers_Companion recommends to tease out how much of it is
food related. Just stopping the onions had given us a few days of an
agreeable little angel until last night. She's teasing me with her
almost smiles -- she'll be hanging out in good spirits, and get a
happy expression on her face that's not quite a full-on smile. I'm
expecting it any day now.

She hasn't been weighed since her 2 week visit, but she's visibly
bigger and outgrowing some of her outfits. Breastfeeding is going
pretty well -- I've nursed in public a few times, usually in her sling
which is quite handy. I'm also working on side-lying nursing and
we're making progress. I often pull her into bed for the last morning
nursing and when we wake back up she has milk all over her face --
it's very cute. Unfortunately today my right boob feels like it
caught fire. We've gotten kind of lazy on proper latch, so now I'm
being a strict taskmaster about it and if it doesn't get better soon
I'll get checked for thrush.

As for me, been feeling good for a while and definitely itching to get
out and about more, though I'm not ready to leave her behind (she did
take her first bottle beautifully last week -- phew!). It's too bad
that modern life is built so that it's so hard to do adult activities
if you have a baby with you. I think of the women in rural West
Africa where I lived for a while, and they did mostly the same things
with a small baby that they did without one. I've been getting around
here and there, and my mom's been coming over some, but I'm trying to
figure out more ways to fill my time that aren't incompatible with
having a nursing baby.

Best wishes to all the new mums and soon-to-be mums!

Kate
and Bug June 8 2003

David&Wendy wrote:

agggghh is how we are doing today .... my little one wont' stop crying this
am i am at whits end have no clue what is wrong he is fed changed diapered
done too... Is it possible for a newborn to be teething? he is 1 9 days old
but is it possible? I feel little bumps that feel like teeth on his lower
jaw? or am i just crazy? please tell me i am not crazy!! he is finally in
bed but not sure for how long that will last... any ones help would be
grateful!!


Hang in there! Sometimes babies go through fits like this.
He's probably not teething. Bring in some help so you get a little
break, if that's possible. Sleep whenever he *does* sleep. Feed
as often as he wants, in case it's a bit of a growth spurt. Is
there any possibility that his food is disagreeing with him? Does
a change of venue (going out for a walk, or whatever) help?

Good luck,
Ericka

will changing his milk affect him in any way? just curious to know . thanks
any advice is greatly appreciated..
wendy

"David&Wendy" wrote in message
.. .
i have 3 other kids at home beside conor going for walks is a little hard
for me.. can't walk very far due to c section but improving day after day.
As far as help everybody that could help is working .. i am sleep
deprived
today guess my nerves are working on me i am snapping at everyone poor
kids... Maybe his milk but not sure how do you tell if it is his milk? (
he
is bottled fed) He drinks it doesn't puke it up at all!! If he does get
cranky again i think i will take your advice ( forget about my pain ) &
take
my little tough guy for a walk..screaming and yelling if i have too...lol
... thanks!! ericka!!
wendy
I am hoping it is growth spurt !! crossing my fingers !!
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
David&Wendy wrote:

agggghh is how we are doing today .... my little one wont' stop
crying
this
am i am at whits end have no clue what is wrong he is fed changed
diapered
done too... Is it possible for a newborn to be teething? he is 1 9
days
old
but is it possible? I feel little bumps that feel like teeth on his
lower
jaw? or am i just crazy? please tell me i am not crazy!! he is finally
in
bed but not sure for how long that will last... any ones help would be
grateful!!


Hang in there! Sometimes babies go through fits like this.
He's probably not teething. Bring in some help so you get a little
break, if that's possible. Sleep whenever he *does* sleep. Feed
as often as he wants, in case it's a bit of a growth spurt. Is
there any possibility that his food is disagreeing with him? Does
a change of venue (going out for a walk, or whatever) help?

Good luck,
Ericka

"Vijay" wrote in message
Thanks! We're doing fine now. I've learned that she is a high-needs
baby which is partly why her weight gain has been slow. She was
probably getting almost enough milk, but her constant fussiness caused
her to use energy that she should use for growing. I'm typing
one-handed right now while bouncing her on an exercise ball bc she
won't let me put her down or hold still -- EVER. I've learned some
great tips from askdrsears.com and I've ordered a sling and the fussy
baby book.
snip

She does sound fairly high needs. It also sounds like you're figuring out
what works with her & how to integrate having a tiny high-needs person in
your life! I think you'll really like the sling. I don't speak from
experience or anything so take this FWIW, but I would imagine that you might
need to try it a few times before she adjusts to it and likes it--so if she
freaks out about it the first time, don't disregard it as an option without
a few more tries!

We're hanging in there. She really is a gorgeous creature, and so
healthy and strong despite her dainty size. We love all of the funny
faces and movements she makes. We're enjoying her good moods when we
can and coping when she's at her fussiest.

Best wishes for continued good coping--even a non-high-needs baby can demand
a lot of readjustment and coping skills, so I can only imagine how "always
on" you must feel!

--
Em
edd 9/23/03

well i was just having an off day the other day so was son he was hot and
grumpy took a total affect on us all..I had a good c section was up and
about day of c section felt so much better3 days after. This one i
recoperated a lot faster for some strange reason i just needed to vent . we
decided not to change milk unless doc says he has a reaction to it but
hasn't but thanks ericka for advice. It wasn't possible for family to help
cause all are working but friends have poped by this week which is
refreshing they gto to hold baby and feed him. Besides when hubby comes
home he takes full charge of little one which is really cute to see them
together & having thatbaby chatter with one another. thanks again
wendy
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
David&Wendy wrote:

will changing his milk affect him in any way? just curious to know .
thanks
any advice is greatly appreciated..


Honestly, I know squat about bottle feeding, so I really
don't know how to tell if he's not doing well on a particular
formula or how you would go about trying to fix the problem if
it is :-( It just occured to me that it could be a source of
discomfort for him that might cause the behavior you're seeing.
I have to say, though, that if you're being left on your
own with four kids only nine days after a c-section, that's a
crying shame! It's no wonder you're at the end of your rope!
Our midwives insist that you have two weeks of help, and that's
just after an uncomplicated vaginal birth. I know that's not
possible for everyone, but I really think you ought to have
some help :-(

Good luck,
Ericka