Child Support

I am sure this is a subject that comes up in every custody situation,
but does anyone know the legal answer for PA? What exactly is child
support supposed to cover?

My ex is a Vice President of a big pharmaceutical co. and his new wife
also has a good job at the same place (i.e. they earn lots). I am a
teacher (i.e. I don't earn much!). We have joint custody but the kids
come to me after school every day because I stayed in their school
district.

Since he left several years ago I have always paid incidentals which
come up in regards to school - gym suits, school trips, etc. However,
when there was a camping trip a couple of years ago, I asked my ex to
share the cost with me. He refused, saying that it is 'included in
child support.' He is supposed to pay for extra-curricular
activities, a couple of which are actually named in the custody order.
If it isn't named and something new comes up, he refuses to pay for
it.

Thing is, now my daughter is going on a school trip for a few days and
I cannot afford the cost at the moment. I sent the forms to my ex,
and he again says he won't pay because he pays me enough in child
support. I could ask my lawyer, but that will probably cost me almost
as much as the trip !

Thanks in advance for any info.

Emmily

Emmily wrote:
: I am sure this is a subject that comes up in every custody situation,
: but does anyone know the legal answer for PA? What exactly is child
: support supposed to cover?

: My ex is a Vice President of a big pharmaceutical co. and his new wife
: also has a good job at the same place (i.e. they earn lots). I am a
: teacher (i.e. I don't earn much!). We have joint custody but the kids
: come to me after school every day because I stayed in their school
: district.

If you ex is a VP of a large company, it's likely he pays a lot of
child support. C.S. is supposed to cover the expenses of the child
and unless specified in the Support Order, that is all that he owes.
If you can't afford a couple hundred dollars for the trip, then perhaps
the child should not go or you may consider adhering to a budget that
allows for savings for such expenses.

It is not the father's responsibility to pay all costs of the child. You
are supposed to contribute also and as mentioned earlier, I'll bet you're
already receiving a substantial amount of CS. Hence, the father's
reluctance to pay more.

b.

"Emmily" wrote in message
ups.com...
I am sure this is a subject that comes up in every custody situation,
but does anyone know the legal answer for PA? What exactly is child
support supposed to cover?

My ex is a Vice President of a big pharmaceutical co. and his new wife
also has a good job at the same place (i.e. they earn lots). I am a
teacher (i.e. I don't earn much!). We have joint custody but the kids
come to me after school every day because I stayed in their school
district.

Since he left several years ago I have always paid incidentals which
come up in regards to school - gym suits, school trips, etc. However,
when there was a camping trip a couple of years ago, I asked my ex to
share the cost with me. He refused, saying that it is 'included in
child support.' He is supposed to pay for extra-curricular
activities, a couple of which are actually named in the custody order.
If it isn't named and something new comes up, he refuses to pay for
it.

Thing is, now my daughter is going on a school trip for a few days and
I cannot afford the cost at the moment. I sent the forms to my ex,
and he again says he won't pay because he pays me enough in child
support. I could ask my lawyer, but that will probably cost me almost
as much as the trip !

Thanks in advance for any info.

CS is intended to cover all household expenditures allocated to children.
The broad categories covered include housing, food, transportation,
clothing, health care, child care, education, and miscellaneous expenses.

It is somewhat surprising to hear the child's father is ordered to pay for
extracurricular activities since those expenses are already included in the
economic models used to determine CS awards.

Another factor to consider is the child's father's CS payments are only a
percentage of the total CS obligation. The other parent is responsible for
paying their own percentage of the total CS obligation plus any amount that
exceeds the CS award.

Child support formulas attempt to keep a child's standard of living
the same as it would have been had the parent's remained together;
hence, the NCP's contribution via child support should cover the NCP's
portion of everything... from bare necessities to extravagant luxuries
(should the family have been able to provide such as a unit). I don't
agree with forcing an NCP to pay for discretionary items in child
support, but that it how it is currently done.

Now you say you have joint custody. Is that joint legal or joint
physical or both? Presumably, the child support would have been
adjusted for joint physical (i.e. a flow of dollars from you to him
while he has the kids is subtracted from the larger flow from him to
you). I am uncertain how the court handles the actual payments (who
pays) of extras in this case, but it seems as though your order
attempted to make that clear by specifying that he pay for
extra-curricular activities. Without having the actual text of your
order, it would be unclear to me whether the activities named were to
be inclusive or examples. He obviously reads it as inclusive.

That aside, however, I must remind you that not all children will be
able to afford this trip and it is not necessary for survival. Sure,
it could be an educational opportunity and, as a teacher, you may feel
more strongly about it than your ex, but your daughter will survive
either way.

Asking your lawyer for clarification is fine (and costly as you point
out), but would unlikely yield any results in time to pay for this
trip. In fact, if the answer is "he should pay for it," the only
recourse is paying for it yourself and taking him back to court for
reimbursement. Even then, the judge may view the order as your ex
does... inclusive of the items mentioned.





On 7 Apr 2005 10:13:14 -0700, "Emmily" wrote:

I am sure this is a subject that comes up in every custody situation,
but does anyone know the legal answer for PA? What exactly is child
support supposed to cover?

My ex is a Vice President of a big pharmaceutical co. and his new wife
also has a good job at the same place (i.e. they earn lots). I am a
teacher (i.e. I don't earn much!). We have joint custody but the kids
come to me after school every day because I stayed in their school
district.

Since he left several years ago I have always paid incidentals which
come up in regards to school - gym suits, school trips, etc. However,
when there was a camping trip a couple of years ago, I asked my ex to
share the cost with me. He refused, saying that it is 'included in
child support.' He is supposed to pay for extra-curricular
activities, a couple of which are actually named in the custody order.
If it isn't named and something new comes up, he refuses to pay for
it.

Thing is, now my daughter is going on a school trip for a few days and
I cannot afford the cost at the moment. I sent the forms to my ex,
and he again says he won't pay because he pays me enough in child
support. I could ask my lawyer, but that will probably cost me almost
as much as the trip !

Thanks in advance for any info.

Emmily

Thanks - this was helpful.

At the time child support was originally determined, I was a stay at
home mother. We have joint legal and physical custody. We started
off with my having primary physical, but he fought me in a very
unpleasant manner to get shared physical custody.

There really is no comparison between what he earns and what I now earn
- I am a part-time instructional aide, but will soon be a full-time
elementary teacher. Since he was ordered to pay for extra-curricular
activities, I thought that a camping trip would qualify. The Order
says 'including but not limited to...soccer and piano lessons...'
because those were the only activities going on at the time. He even
refused to pay for the soccer this winter because it was not 'on his
nights'. If it were on his nights he would complain about the time
taken away from his custody time. There is no way to win with him.
My son is already complaining about being held hostage to custody, and
is starting to rebel over it. He is 13 and keeps asking when he can
choose where he goes. Any ideas on that one? (We are in PA)

Liz

My ex. assumes that I will not think it worth my time going back to
court to obtain money he owes me. We are 20 months past the financial
settlement date, and he still has outstanding transfers which he is
doing nothing about (pension, shares, health insurance contributions).
Eventually I am going to have to take him to court for contempt to get
the money he owes me. I just hate having to go to court all the time.
I seriously think he is counting on my getting tired of it all and
giving up.

Liz

"Emmily" wrote in message
oups.com...
At the time child support was originally determined, I was a stay at
home mother. We have joint legal and physical custody. We started
off with my having primary physical, but he fought me in a very
unpleasant manner to get shared physical custody.

There really is no comparison between what he earns and what I now earn
- I am a part-time instructional aide, but will soon be a full-time
elementary teacher. Since he was ordered to pay for extra-curricular
activities, I thought that a camping trip would qualify. The Order
says 'including but not limited to...soccer and piano lessons...'
because those were the only activities going on at the time. He even
refused to pay for the soccer this winter because it was not 'on his
nights'. If it were on his nights he would complain about the time
taken away from his custody time. There is no way to win with him.
My son is already complaining about being held hostage to custody, and
is starting to rebel over it. He is 13 and keeps asking when he can
choose where he goes. Any ideas on that one? (We are in PA)

Just a couple of random comments without any knowledge of the apparent power
struggle going on between the two of you.

First, paying for soccer and being able to attend the soccer games are two
different issues. Unless you live some distance apart, going to the soccer
games would give him an opportunity to see his son during the time he is in
your care. I'm a little surprised he is not seeing it that way. If the
soccer is such a sticking point, he missed a chance to get the decree
language changed when the custody arrangement changed. Why not simply ask
him is he is willing to replace the extracurricular payments with something
else he prefers? (He may have done that already and not communicated the
specifics to you.)

Second, in a couple of years when your son starts to drive, his mobility
will be more within his own control and he will exercise his freedom
accordingly. Who he sees, and when, will change. As an example, when my
son got his own car he saw his mother less. (I had custody of him from age
14 on.) And when my daughter got her own car, I saw her more frequently but
for shorter periods of time.

Third, when court decrees try to dictate a bunch of details that causes
problems when circumstances (or attitudes) change. I'd just accept the fact
the soccer language is no longer workable, for whatever reason, and let it
go. Hopefully, some other things have changed to make up for the soccer
situation. If he has joint custody he is probably paying for more things
now than when the soccer deal was struck. Going back to court is way too
expensive for getting resolution of situational problems.

"Emmily" wrote in message
oups.com...
My ex. assumes that I will not think it worth my time going back to
court to obtain money he owes me. We are 20 months past the financial
settlement date, and he still has outstanding transfers which he is
doing nothing about (pension, shares, health insurance contributions).
Eventually I am going to have to take him to court for contempt to get
the money he owes me. I just hate having to go to court all the time.
I seriously think he is counting on my getting tired of it all and
giving up.

Have your attorney write to his attorney to ask for an explanation for the
delay in implementing the court's order and press for quick resolution. The
attorneys are officers of the court and have state bar standards to fully
implement the court's order or go back to the court to ask for further
assistance.

"Emmily" wrote in

Thanks - this was helpful.

I can't help but wonder what the other 100% of child support pays for?