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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 18th 03, 05:07 PM
beeswing
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to
discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this?

If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education
*OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da
heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What
makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl?

My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle
school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years
as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related
issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did.

beeswing

  #2  
Old November 18th 03, 05:27 PM
beeswing
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

beeswing wrote:

If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education
*OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da
heck does one decide, anyway.


I hate to follow up myself, but I want to clarify something. I'm not suggesting
that my daughter wouldn't go to college if we somehow managed to send her to
private school. The issue is who would pay for college -- and how. Right now,
I'm committed to paying her college with the same limitations my dad gave me:
she'd have to stay in state and go to a state-run college. Anything more and
she'd have to make up the difference herself. But private school could blow a
hole in that theory....

beeswing

  #3  
Old November 18th 03, 06:38 PM
Kevin Karplus
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

In article , beeswing wrote:
I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to
discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this?

If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education
*OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da
heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What
makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl?


I don't know about "character", but a public university education is a
far better educational investment than a private middle school. In 10
years no one is going to care much whether she went to a good or a
mediocre middle school, but going to a good university will affect her
choices for the rest of her life.

If I remember right, you are in Seattle, where going to private
schools is highly fashionable (over 1/3 of all students do), but there
are still decent public schools available. Far better to go to a
decent public school and have enough money to afford 4+ years of
university than to go to a ritzy middle school and then only be able
to afford an AA degree.


--
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Professor of Computer Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Affiliations for identification only.

  #4  
Old November 18th 03, 06:38 PM
Scott
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

beeswing wrote:
beeswing wrote:


If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education
*OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da
heck does one decide, anyway.



I hate to follow up myself, but I want to clarify something. I'm not suggesting
that my daughter wouldn't go to college if we somehow managed to send her to
private school. The issue is who would pay for college -- and how. Right now,
I'm committed to paying her college with the same limitations my dad gave me:
she'd have to stay in state and go to a state-run college. Anything more and
she'd have to make up the difference herself. But private school could blow a
hole in that theory....



....especially if the College decides you *shouldn't* have sent your
daugther to private school and therefore you should still have all
that tuition money in the bank

There are no guarantees that the Private School will be any more or
less difficult to navigate vis-a-vis all those issues that can make
middle school a less-than-pleasant experience. Unless you interview
a lot of the girls there and determine that they are all blissfully
happy.

DD starts middle school next year, and it's not really something to
which I'm looking forward. At least the school has an okay reputation
as being large enough that it's not difficult for anyone to find a
group to be in. We aren't thinking of private school now. Maybe if
we discern that she is desperately unhappy next year, we'll discuss
it. It would surprise me if something like that happened.


Scott DD 10 and DS 7.7

  #5  
Old November 18th 03, 06:39 PM
Banty
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

In article , beeswing says...

I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to
discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this?

If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education
*OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da
heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What
makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl?

My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle
school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years
as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related
issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did.

beeswing


I had a terrible experience, too. I was pretty geeky, and, after sixth grade
when we moved from a place where we'd lived for five years, we moved nearly
twice a year such that I went to five junior high schools through four grades
(JH started in 6th in Texas, went through 9th in Colorao). So once I left my
hard-won social connections in sixth grade ('though some were retained through
seventh grade - long story), it was a pretty bleak experience.

For my son, on the other hand, it's been much different. He's been in one
neighborhood and one school district, and he's *much* more socially inclined
than I am, so he's fairly well connected.

I guess the upshot here is that your own experience in Junior High won't
necessarily translate to your daughter's experience. The biggest difference
to her character is her temprament; the next biggest is your relationship to
her, bringing up a close third is the overall environment.

Banty

  #6  
Old November 18th 03, 07:24 PM
Robyn Kozierok
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

In article ,
beeswing wrote:
I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to
discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this?

If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education
*OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da
heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What
makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl?

My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle
school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years
as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related
issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did.


I think middle school (or junior high) is a tough time for a lot of
people. Maybe most people. But I think it could be a tough time even
in a good private school. You need to consider what it is about the
school you are looking at that you think will make it a better place
for your daughter. There are some benefits to single-sex education
for girls, which I think you're considering based on the other thread.
But I'm not convinced that the social scene would be better, and that
is typically what makes middle school so hard for so many kids. Unless
the school makes a special effort to explicitly address social issues,
I think you will have them whether the school is public or private,
all-girls or co-ed.

That said, if you think private school is the best place for her for
middle school, my philosophy is to worry about now now, and worry about
later later. If she needs the private school now, I'd spend the money
and figure out how you and she can finance her college education later.
There's usually a way. (My kids are in private school now, which covers
K-8, because it was the only place I could find that would meet their needs.
They don't have college savings accounts yet, for a variety of reasons.)

Good luck deciding!!

--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

  #7  
Old November 18th 03, 08:02 PM
LFortier
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

beeswing wrote:

My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle
school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years
as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related
issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did.

beeswing



My oldest will be off to middle school next year, but 5th
grade has already been challenging. I'm not sure that
private school would make the social stuff any better -
around here private schools that aren't religious have a
heavy concentration of such well to do kids that I suspect
you might be trading in one set of issues for another.

I spent years saying how glad I was I didn't have to relive
the teen years until it finally dawned on me that a parent
relives them through children.

Lesley

  #8  
Old November 18th 03, 08:03 PM
Bruce and Jeanne
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

beeswing wrote:

I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to
discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this?

If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education
*OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da
heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What
makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl?

My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle
school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years
as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related
issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did.

beeswing


How is your daughter doing in her school now? I'm only asking because a
friend of mine went through this same thing two years ago. Her daughter
was excelling academically at public elementary school, but my friend
felt she wasn't getting the attention she needed and she didn't really
have any good friendships. So, for 5th grade, the parents sent her to a
very expensive small private school and the girl blossomed and at the
end of the year, thanked her parents for sending her. So, she's back at
the private school this year and her younger brother has joined her.
This pretty much eats up my friend's entire salary (who is not in a
low-paying job by any means).

That said, they also have the prepaid college tuition plan for our state
which guarantees that tuition is paid no matter how high it rises. So,
while the kids aren't set to go to Harvard, they are set for 4 years of
college.

Jeanne

  #9  
Old November 18th 03, 08:43 PM
H Schinske
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Posts: n/a
Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

That said, if you think private school is the best place for her for
middle school, my philosophy is to worry about now now, and worry about
later later. If she needs the private school now, I'd spend the money
and figure out how you and she can finance her college education later.


I think that is definitely true. If I hadn't gone to private school when I did,
I'd be a much less sane person today. That said, I was in a far worse situation
in public school than I see my kids in currently, so the sacrifice was more
worth it to my parents. Homeschooling was not a reasonable option then (or
didn't look like it), tuition was a trifle cheaper, etc. Plus, with six kids,
things like expensive family vacations just weren't going to happen anyway.
Might as well put every cent towards school.

--Helen

  #10  
Old November 18th 03, 08:49 PM
Scott
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Default Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

LFortier wrote:


I spent years saying how glad I was I didn't have to relive the teen
years until it finally dawned on me that a parent relives them through
children.


Yes. But I think it's important to recognize that your
daughter or son may or may not react to things the same
way you did. So you may relive them, but you're reliving
something that is different from what your child is
living.

Scott DD 10 and DS 7.8

 




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