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Frustrated - Potty training
My 3 1/2( Four in November ) year old son still will not go poops on the
toilet. He prefers to have a diaper put on him instead. Typical potty event; " Daddy I have to go poops", "I say do you want to try to go on the potty"?. "He says no, I want a diaper on". This has gone on for awhile. I don't want to push the issue( should I? ) but he refuses to sit on the toilet to go poops. After pooping , he imediately wants the diaper off. Otherwise the diaper ( other than the poops ) is a thing of the past. Any ideas on what I can try next. I have read potty training books and played potty training videos for him. He says he will try but never ends up going through with it. Is he on the verge?. The weird thing is, as he turned three, he actually went poops on the potty - twice!. I was thrilled. Well, after two tries, he completely has no desire to go poops on the toilet . Any suggestions? |
#2
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Frustrated - Potty training
Infocus wrote: My 3 1/2( Four in November ) year old son still will not go poops on the toilet. He prefers to have a diaper put on him instead. Typical potty event; " Daddy I have to go poops", "I say do you want to try to go on the potty"?. "He says no, I want a diaper on". This has gone on for awhile. I don't want to push the issue( should I? ) but he refuses to sit on the toilet to go poops. After pooping , he imediately wants the diaper off. Otherwise the diaper ( other than the poops ) is a thing of the past. Any ideas on what I can try next. I have read potty training books and played potty training videos for him. He says he will try but never ends up going through with it. Is he on the verge?. The weird thing is, as he turned three, he actually went poops on the potty - twice!. I was thrilled. Well, after two tries, he completely has no desire to go poops on the toilet . Any suggestions? Have you worked out *why* he won't use the loo? Does he sit or stand to wee? If he stands, could it be that he's either nervous of falling in, or confused about where it's all going? I agree with Nan in suggesting that you stop giving him an option. What would happen if you "ran out" of diapers? Obviously you don't want him holding it in, but it seems like he needs a little push somehow. Have you thought about a good old bribe? Mary Ann |
#3
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Frustrated - Potty training
"Infocus" wrote in message ... My 3 1/2( Four in November ) year old son still will not go poops on the toilet. He prefers to have a diaper put on him instead. Typical potty event; " Daddy I have to go poops", "I say do you want to try to go on the potty"?. "He says no, I want a diaper on". This has gone on for awhile. I don't want to push the issue( should I? ) but he refuses to sit on the toilet to go poops. After pooping , he imediately wants the diaper off. Otherwise the diaper ( other than the poops ) is a thing of the past. Any ideas on what I can try next. I have read potty training books and played potty training videos for him. He says he will try but never ends up going through with it. Is he on the verge?. The weird thing is, as he turned three, he actually went poops on the potty - twice!. I was thrilled. Well, after two tries, he completely has no desire to go poops on the toilet . Any suggestions? i wouldn't offer the diaper option...what would he do if you told him you didn't have anymore diapers? |
#4
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Frustrated - Potty training
Any
suggestions? Here is how we've finally trained our 3.75 year old. We promised the usual big toy for potty training, in his case a new bike. But finally, when he told me he wanted to wear diapers because he wanted to be a baby, after holding his business until I put a diaper on him to go, I told him he could only have baby toys if he continued to wear diapers. I told him that all his big boy toys, including his cars, trucks, and train set, would have to be put away until he was a big boy. He thought about it for about five minutes, told me he wanted to wear underwear and be a big boy, and has basically been potty trained ever since, two weeks now with only one minor accident because my grandfather had him outside and didn't understand him when he said he needed to go. Hey, it worked. He's quite proud of himself, tells complete strangers all about his new skill wherever we go. Amanda |
#5
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Frustrated - Potty training
So please make sure there is something for your kid to
put his feet on (a stack of phone books?). And if he feels more comfortable on a little potty, make sure one is available. We used the regular toilet, with no additional seat, because my son is too big for those little seats. But we do have a stool for him to rest his feet on. We also had to physically show him that he was not going to fall in by sitting him fully clothed on the toilet and holding him securely while tilting him back, he's big enough he won't fall in but he didn't know that. I think the OP should not offer a choice. Either let the matter alone, or find something that works, but be firm and consistent. What worked for us wouldn't work for every child, but worked perfectly for my son. Amanda |
#6
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Frustrated - Potty training
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#7
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Frustrated - Potty training
On Tue, 15 Jul 2003 14:26:41 GMT, "Infocus"
wrote: My 3 1/2( Four in November ) year old son still will not go poops on the toilet. He prefers to have a diaper put on him instead. Typical potty event; " Daddy I have to go poops", "I say do you want to try to go on the potty"?. "He says no, I want a diaper on". This has gone on for awhile. I don't want to push the issue( should I? ) but he refuses to sit on the toilet to go poops. After pooping , he imediately wants the diaper off. Otherwise the diaper ( other than the poops ) is a thing of the past. Any ideas on what I can try next. I have read potty training books and played potty training videos for him. He says he will try but never ends up going through with it. Is he on the verge?. The weird thing is, as he turned three, he actually went poops on the potty - twice!. I was thrilled. Well, after two tries, he completely has no desire to go poops on the toilet . Any suggestions? My first son went through this earlier this year. I had to find an incentive for him to do poos on the toilet instead of in his nappy. In his case I started by having him watch me put his poo in the toilet after he'd done it in his nappy until he got the idea that this is where poo goes, and then I told him that I was putting the poo in the toilet to feed the fishies. Once he got excited about feeding the fishies directly he never looked backwards. We also used a sticker chart in combination, after the third poo on the toilet he got a lolly, after the seventh poo he got a "surprise" which was variously a sticker book, some art supplies, etc. After the first 4 lots of 7 poos on the toilet the sticker chart ran out and wasn't replaced but he didn't really ask for it again either. -- Cheryl DS#1 (Mar 99), DS#2 (Oct 00) DD born 30 Jul 02 |
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Frustrated - Potty training
"Circe" wrote in message news:Wu%Qa.10877$u51.2802@fed1read05... ==Daye== wrote: On Tue, 15 Jul 2003 14:26:41 GMT, "Infocus" wrote: " Daddy I have to go poops", "I say do you want to try to go on the potty"?. Why are you giving him a choice? It is obvious that his choice is going to be a diaper. Try this instead: Child: "Daddy, I have to go poops." Daddy: "Okay, let's go to the toilet." Take him in and sit him down. If he asks for a diaper, tell him no. Big boys use a toilet. He is a big boy. He will not get a diaper. Hmmm, well, there seems to be a similar tenor in a lot of the responses--just take away the diaper and all will be well. My experience, however, is the opposite. First of all, it's important to remember that at least PART of the problem here may be physical. Many young kids find it very difficult to have bowel movements while sitting down because they have been doing so while standing or squatting almost their entire lives. It seems quite easy to us to poop sitting down--and in fact seems odd to do so in any other position--but the opposite is true for the younger set. Second, however, simply taking away the diaper can lead to withholding if the child truly CANNOT or WILL NOT poop while sitting on the toilet. We had mild withholding issues with our daughter when she was making the transition from pooping in the diaper to pooping in the potty at around 3y9m, and believe me, the *last* thing that will make you happy is having to change a pair of underpants filled with an ENORMOUS bowel movement because your child has been unable/unwilling to poop in the potty for several days. This is what I was thinking. What is worse it the child who withholds until impacted. I can see trying the do not offer the diaper thing. But making a line in the sand does not seem like a very good idea. Frankly, my experience with my daughter was that once I backed COMPLETELY off pressuring her to poop in the potty (or even suggesting it), and simply allowed her to poop in the diaper (without comment), she came around on her own. One afternoon at my sister's house, she simply decided to poop on the toilet. She occasionally used her bedtime diaper for a poop after that, but for the most part, simply started using the toilet for poops. I read a book which suggested that a child exposed to other children going in the potty get over their hesitation. If they see a fav cousin or someone, they get thr drift so to speak. So I have to say that my advice for the OP is BACK OFF. Let him have the diaper. He simply may not feel physically comfortable with pooping on the toilet yet. He WON'T poop in the diaper forever. Sooner or later (and my bet is sooner--for my daughter, it was a mere couple of weeks) he will CHOOSE to poop in the toilet and the diapers will be history. -- Be well, Barbara (Julian [7/22/97], Aurora [7/19/99], and Vernon's [3/2/02] mom) See us at http://photos.yahoo.com/guavaln This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop: "Loose weight, feel great!" -- fair booth sign What does it all mean? I have *no* idea. But it's my life and I like it. |
#9
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Frustrated - Potty training
"Rosalie B." wrote in message ... x-no-archive:yes ospam (AGreen1209) wrote: So please make sure there is something for your kid to put his feet on (a stack of phone books?). And if he feels more comfortable on a little potty, make sure one is available. We used the regular toilet, with no additional seat, because my son is too big for those little seats. But we do have a stool for him to rest his feet on. We also had to physically show him that he was not going to fall in by sitting him fully clothed on the toilet and holding him securely while tilting him back, he's big enough he won't fall in but he didn't know that. It might also be that he doesn't like the idea of flushing away part of himself that he's produced. I understand that is sometimes a problem. I think the OP should not offer a choice. Either let the matter alone, or find something that works, but be firm and consistent. What worked for us wouldn't work for every child, but worked perfectly for my son. While I agree that the choice is not the thing to do, I'm a little uncomfortable with forcing him to use the toilet or go in his pants because he may chose to do neither and with holding it can result in impaction and physical problems where it becomes painful to go reinforcing the reluctance to go at all. And, from the experience of my neice, this is a *nightmare.* The cycle of not eating so you do not have to poop and not pooing so it does not hurt is a hard cycle to break. I might tell him that either he wears diapers all the time or wears underpants all the time. Or I might just put him back in diapers all the time. I am not sure why you would to that? From what I have read, kids who ask for a diaper, poop in it, then get changed are on the very hairy edge of making the leap to pooping on the potty. Just waiting one more week and reevaluating could be all it takes. Why go all the way back to diaper risk setting aside peeing success? DD#2 seemed unwilling to go on the toilet at all and she had iron control of her bladder so she could hold it all day until she had a nap or at night when she had a diaper. So I knew she could do it if she wanted. But she didn't want. Until she was told that she couldn't go to nursery school with her sister unless she used the potty. So then she was trained at 2.5 because that was the youngest they would take them there. One accident I think. But that was the whole thing - poop and pee. So I have no actual experience with the non poop in the toilet thing. grandma Rosalie |
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