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#741
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote Gini wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote ............................ ===== I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids. When he moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to him as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a beater pickup that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived at his house, he and his then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if we were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce should not divvy up children.* Ever. How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two or four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of supporting himself. === In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex and I so travel/money simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully chosen the man I wanted to father my kids and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them a dad. There wasn't any, "I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him every day or every weekend. We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count, however. When my ex later moved in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles and we met halfway with the kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a part of my relationship with him. The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the time our younger son had to go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas. Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for the boys. I owed them that. If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement out, but she is in school, and I have a job. In my situation, it is simply not feasible. -- Sarah Gray |
#742
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child] "Sarah Gray" wrote in message et... Gini wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote Gini wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote ............................ ===== I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids. When he moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to him as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a beater pickup that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived at his house, he and his then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if we were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce should not divvy up children.* Ever. How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two or four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of supporting himself. === In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex and I so travel/money simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully chosen the man I wanted to father my kids and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them a dad. There wasn't any, "I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him every day or every weekend. We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count, however. When my ex later moved in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles and we met halfway with the kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a part of my relationship with him. The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the time our younger son had to go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas. Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for the boys. I owed them that. If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement out, but she is in school, ....and being in school is MORE important than being with her father. If ONLY they had schools where the father lives. and I have a job. In my situation, it is simply not feasible. -- Sarah Gray |
#743
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child] "Sarah Gray" wrote in message ... Chris wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote in message ... Chris wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote in message ... Chris wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote in message ... Chris wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote in message He *chose* to move. I have no desire to move to Nashville; Thus, your claims about how you desire to move and to have your child be with her father are false. I never said I would move to facilitate that. Nor did I say you did. But you DID say that you would like to move. And I would like to move. I'd also like to win the lottery, but it hasn't happened yet. If he wants to see his daughter more, he could move back here. And if you want him to see her, you could move there or send her there. That's TWO options for you. How many are you giving him? Last I checked, it's not a one way street. Unless, of course, you're the one calling the shots. I don't understand why you are acting as if he has done some great and noble thing by practically abandoning his child. You think he should be rewarded for refusing to support her adequately? No. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you asking for my opinion? about why you are so intent that fathers not support their children unless it's on a full-time basis and the children never see their mothers? yeah, I'd like to understand that. I would too since I NEVER claimed that. You claim that I have no right to expect him to support her, but that *he* has a right to have her full time and demand child support from me. Never claimed that either. I *can't* move, because I have a decent job. Why do you insist it is up to *me* to maintain my daughter's relationship with her father? I don't. Yes, you do. You say that it is my fault she does not see her dad because I am not willing to make 16-hour round trip drives, Never said that. you said that that it was only my reluctance to be "inconvenienced" that keeps her from seeing him, and that if I was not willing to do that, that meant that I don't really want her to see him often. No Ididn't. or quit my job and move, Never said that either. you said I should move if I wanted my daughter to see her father. No I didn't. Never once did you suggest he move back to be with her. or send her to live with him. All of those suggestions are completely ludicrous. In YOUR opinion. Do you really think it is reasonable to insist that *I* make 16-hour round trip drives to accommodate his lifestyle choices? A better question is: Do you really think it is reasonable to insist that HE pay you FREE money to accommodate YOUR lifestyle choices? She lives *here*. He DECIDED TO LEAVE FOR NO GOOD REASON. In YOUR opinion. Well, what would you consider a "good reason"? My opinion has no bearing on the facts of this matter. He refused to look for work here, instead preferring to move to TN to live with his parents. Within a week, he was working at a Wal-Mart there. Coincidentally, I went into the Wal-Mart that is less than 2 miles from his former residence, and lo and behold! they are hiring. He had no reason to move, other than the fact that he cant live without his mommy. In his opinion, that may be an EXCELLENT reason for moving. He has no way to support her, and I have no way of supporting her in Nashville. How, exactly, would that be better for her? You tell me. No, *you* tell *me*, because *you* are the one suggesting that this is a better situation for her than what she has now. I NEVER claimed that. you say that it is the only way she can have a relationship with him. I do NOT. is a child's relationship with their father more important than their relationship with their mother? He's the one who insisted in court last summer, that we switch off parenting time every few days, because she was so young and should see each of us often. Funny how things change in a year. Yup, things certainly do change in time. That is the result of living in a fluid world. I have NO intention of killing my neighbor. But let him invade my home and all bets are off. Well, I for one don't plan on following my mommy and daddy wherever they go, even though I'm 31 years old. But I guess you think thats the responsible thing to do. However do you come to THAT conclusion? Because you keep saying I should send her to live with him! Non sequitur.. Nonetheless, if you desire for her to be with him, as you have falsely proclaimed, then sending her to be with him would accomplish such goal. Just because I think my daughter should have a relationship with her father, does not mean that the only way to accomplish that goal is to fully give up custody. That is correct. Your point? He moved. His choice. You like to talk about women making choices that affect men, but you don;t want to admit it when a man makes an irresponsible choice that affects his child. Whatever are you talking about? Men make choices that affect their children ALL the time. -- Sarah Gray |
#744
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Nov 14, 5:39 am, "Gini" wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote Gini wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote ............................ ===== I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids. When he moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to him as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a beater pickup that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived at his house, he and his then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if we were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce should not divvy up children.* Ever. How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two or four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of supporting himself. === In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex and I so travel/money simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully chosen the man I wanted to father my kids and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them a dad. There wasn't any, "I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him every day or every weekend. We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count, however. When my ex later moved in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles and we met halfway with the kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a part of my relationship with him. The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the time our younger son had to go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas. Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for the boys. I owed them that.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - and I owe my kids a nuclear, solid, happy family unit with two parents in the home, married and together....they, do not deserve any less than that....I carefully chose my husband knowing we, together could provide that! My kids needs outrank, ours...that is why we are not exes... |
#745
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Nov 14, 8:02 am, "Chris" wrote:
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child]"Sarah Gray" wrote in message et... Gini wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote Gini wrote: "Sarah Gray" wrote ............................ ===== I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids. When he moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to him as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a beater pickup that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived at his house, he and his then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if we were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce should not divvy up children.* Ever. How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two or four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of supporting himself. === In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex and I so travel/money simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully chosen the man I wanted to father my kids and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them a dad. There wasn't any, "I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him every day or every weekend. We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count, however. When my ex later moved in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles and we met halfway with the kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a part of my relationship with him. The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the time our younger son had to go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas. Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for the boys. I owed them that. If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement out, but she is in school, ...and being in school is MORE important than being with her father. If ONLY they had schools where the father lives. and I have a job. In my situation, it is simply not feasible. -- Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - why doesn't the father make the 16 hour round trip to come see her?? visit, etc.... |
#746
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
Chris wrote:
If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement out, but she is in school, ...and being in school is MORE important than being with her father. If ONLY they had schools where the father lives. Her father has stated that he does not wish her schooling to be interrupted. -- Sarah Gray |
#747
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have custody of such child] "Sarah Gray" wrote in message t... Chris wrote: If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement out, but she is in school, ...and being in school is MORE important than being with her father. If ONLY they had schools where the father lives. Her father has stated that he does not wish her schooling to be interrupted. You keep morphing your original claim with these peculiar details. No wonder the discussion doesn't end; you keep CHANGING it. -- Sarah Gray |
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