Bottles at night

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
Liz wrote:

We are having trouble with our 20 month old who in the last month has
begun
waking up 3 or 4 times a night, very upset and crying. She doesn't want
cuddles and refuses to sleep in our bed. Most of the time she won't go
back
to sleep unless she is given a bottle. She is small, low weight and a
picky
eater. She is often resistant to trying anything new and is particular
about
what she wants and doesn't want.

Do you think this is a phase that will go away? Should we just accept
this
for the time being and have a small bottle ready for her at night?

My child health nurse thinks we should cut out the bottle completely,
that
she is using them as a sleep aid. We have a few problems with that as
how
else do we encourage her to go back to sleep without an hour of tantrum?
Also she refuses to drink milk in any other container - hot or cold. Any
suggestions?

--
Liz
-------------
Give her what she wants! How stupid can people be? Kids don't want it
to be nasty! They want it because they NEED it!
Steve

I never said I thought she was doing it to be nasty. She has started doing
this after sleeping through most nights for over 8 months. I work fulltime
which is becoming increasingly difficult to do on five hours interrupted
sleep a night. I was merely asking for advice.

Obviously you just want an excuse to show what a superior parent you are. I
must be such a bad mother. She wants to eat chocolate and chips all day but
I'm not going to give it to her!

Liz

Sorry - read further and realised I was feeding the tr*ll. Apologies!!

Liz

"Liz" wrote in message
u...
"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
Liz wrote:

We are having trouble with our 20 month old who in the last month has
begun
waking up 3 or 4 times a night, very upset and crying. She doesn't
want
cuddles and refuses to sleep in our bed. Most of the time she won't go
back
to sleep unless she is given a bottle. She is small, low weight and a
picky
eater. She is often resistant to trying anything new and is particular
about
what she wants and doesn't want.

Do you think this is a phase that will go away? Should we just accept
this
for the time being and have a small bottle ready for her at night?

My child health nurse thinks we should cut out the bottle completely,
that
she is using them as a sleep aid. We have a few problems with that as
how
else do we encourage her to go back to sleep without an hour of
tantrum?
Also she refuses to drink milk in any other container - hot or cold.
Any
suggestions?

--
Liz
-------------
Give her what she wants! How stupid can people be? Kids don't want it
to be nasty! They want it because they NEED it!
Steve

I never said I thought she was doing it to be nasty. She has started doing
this after sleeping through most nights for over 8 months. I work fulltime
which is becoming increasingly difficult to do on five hours interrupted
sleep a night. I was merely asking for advice.

Obviously you just want an excuse to show what a superior parent you are.
I
must be such a bad mother. She wants to eat chocolate and chips all day
but
I'm not going to give it to her!

Liz

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Duncan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}}}}}}

I don't know if you have read Ferber's book. A lot of people disagree,
but his methods do work. He has a description of a child with a very
similar routine. Unless your daughter your daughter's size is a problem
(I have three children who are all in the lower percentiles) or she is
having other health problems, she should be able to consume her calories
during the day. Thus, the milk at night may not be ideal for her diet.
It may actually be decreasing the amount of variety that she is eating.
Kids at 20 months tend to have a pretty odd looking diet, but on average
eat pretty well.

I would really suggest cutting the bottles out at night. It is bad for
her teeth and bad for her long term sleep associations. Do it cold
turkey and the phase will pass faster than if you try to make her happy
about it.

Getting a child to drink their milk in a different container is another
question. I would suggest cutting out the bottles at night and then
working on that problem. Again, at 20 months they are stubborn as all
get out, but they also can't remember things as long as we worry they
might. :-)

Karen

Liz wrote:

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
Liz wrote:

We are having trouble with our 20 month old who in the last month has
begun
waking up 3 or 4 times a night, very upset and crying. She doesn't want
cuddles and refuses to sleep in our bed. Most of the time she won't go
back
to sleep unless she is given a bottle. She is small, low weight and a
picky
eater. She is often resistant to trying anything new and is particular
about
what she wants and doesn't want.

Do you think this is a phase that will go away? Should we just accept
this
for the time being and have a small bottle ready for her at night?

My child health nurse thinks we should cut out the bottle completely,
that
she is using them as a sleep aid. We have a few problems with that as
how
else do we encourage her to go back to sleep without an hour of tantrum?
Also she refuses to drink milk in any other container - hot or cold. Any
suggestions?

--
Liz
-------------
Give her what she wants! How stupid can people be? Kids don't want it
to be nasty! They want it because they NEED it!
Steve

I never said I thought she was doing it to be nasty. She has started doing
this after sleeping through most nights for over 8 months. I work fulltime
which is becoming increasingly difficult to do on five hours interrupted
sleep a night. I was merely asking for advice.

Obviously you just want an excuse to show what a superior parent you are. I
must be such a bad mother. She wants to eat chocolate and chips all day
------------
No she doesn't, no kid does, they make them sick and they stop.
We tried it, they wind up liking a few dates, spinach and broccoli
and brown rice and beans and fruit and chicken breasts.


but
I'm not going to give it to her!
Liz
---------------------------
Then all you'll do is make her want it well into her formed phase,
and so she'll do so all her life and always wonder why she feels sick
all the time, being out of touch with her body. They have to have
their own experimental experience to be in touch with their bodies.
Steve

Liz, it sounds to me like your 20 month old is going through a growth stage,
working some issues out. This will pass, IMO, but I think you are doing this
for her because your mothering instincts tell you she needs it.

IMO, stick with your mother's instincts. They are only young for a short
time, again, this is IMO - I would be there for her and eventually the thing
causing the stress (can you itdentify anythign ?) will resolve itself.

My DH tell sme that my rocking DS to sleep (he's 2 yo) when he cries is
going to become a habit. That DS will begin t o "need" to be rocked to sleep
every night. I don't think so.....he actually does go to sleep on his own a
lot, but DH doesn't realize that DS is copign with a new day care - albeit
the new "day care" is my sister's - and she cares very much for him, as if
he were her own. But it is still stressful for him, and fo rnow, I will help
him calm himself. It bothers me too much NOT to.

Trust that this will resolve itself and she will get through whatever is
stressing her. Try and figure out what has changed in her little life that
could be tied to this waking up alot. (Is she workign on a new skill like
walking or talkign or feeding herself ? The day tiem frustratuion works
itself out at night. See T. Brazelton's "Touchpoints")

Meantime, be there for her with a bottle if that is what she wants.

L.


"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
Liz wrote:

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
Liz wrote:

We are having trouble with our 20 month old who in the last month
has
begun
waking up 3 or 4 times a night, very upset and crying. She doesn't
want
cuddles and refuses to sleep in our bed. Most of the time she won't
go
back
to sleep unless she is given a bottle. She is small, low weight and
a
picky
eater. She is often resistant to trying anything new and is
particular
about
what she wants and doesn't want.

Do you think this is a phase that will go away? Should we just
accept
this
for the time being and have a small bottle ready for her at night?

My child health nurse thinks we should cut out the bottle
completely,
that
she is using them as a sleep aid. We have a few problems with that
as
how
else do we encourage her to go back to sleep without an hour of
tantrum?
Also she refuses to drink milk in any other container - hot or cold.
Any
suggestions?

--
Liz
-------------
Give her what she wants! How stupid can people be? Kids don't want it
to be nasty! They want it because they NEED it!
Steve

I never said I thought she was doing it to be nasty. She has started
doing
this after sleeping through most nights for over 8 months. I work
fulltime
which is becoming increasingly difficult to do on five hours interrupted
sleep a night. I was merely asking for advice.

Obviously you just want an excuse to show what a superior parent you
are. I
must be such a bad mother. She wants to eat chocolate and chips all day
------------
No she doesn't, no kid does, they make them sick and they stop.
We tried it, they wind up liking a few dates, spinach and broccoli
and brown rice and beans and fruit and chicken breasts.


but
I'm not going to give it to her!
Liz
---------------------------
Then all you'll do is make her want it well into her formed phase,
and so she'll do so all her life and always wonder why she feels sick
all the time, being out of touch with her body. They have to have
their own experimental experience to be in touch with their bodies.
Steve