Need a couple of ideas and resources

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 19:35:26 GMT, "Betsy" wrote:

Fair enough, Betsy. I agree with that. I truly wasn't looking to be
all critical. It's just that in my line of work, these days,
practically *everyone* has ADHD, whether they do or not, if you see
what I mean. :-)

Take care.

Cele


Right. I have truly seen only a handful of children who I would truly
classify as ADHD. I feel that diagnosis is overused in today's society.
Some kids have an attention deficit...it's that they don't get enough
attention. Others truly have the inability to control impulses. It's
too
easy to look for a "quick fix" to a problem, and that encourages
medicating
people when it is unnecessary; tragic when it's a growing child. I can
truly see your point of view Cele.

Take care yourself.

Betsy

Yup, that's what I see too. That's in no way to minimise the
difficulties for those who *do* have ADHD, or the difficulties of
those who have the diagnosis but not the syndrome. Those guys
generally have *something*, regardless. Anyway, you take care, too.

So where shall we all meet this summer?

Cele
Right now, we're not too sure what the diagnosis on this kiddo is.... we had
one therapist do an eval that said he had bipolar NOS and ADHD and we had
other therapists (at the hospital) simply say that he has mood disorder....
no one can agree on anything.... One therapist said that it sounded like I
needed to get a neurological consult to rule out possible seizure disorder!
OY! But then.... that's not unreasonable and it's something I tried to do
but my insurance won't cover it.... gotta love insurance companies!

Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: oaway (Joelle)
Date: 9/18/2004 9:28 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

t sucks that your daughter's boyfriend left her but
I can't say it is surprising.

Of course it's not surprising. Bebe never wanted to share her grandchild
with
her father.

Joelle, I just do not get it , I really don't, I am not this person you keep
calling me?
I supported both these kids in this, my grand-daughters daddy as much as my own
daughter. you are dead wrong in what you are saying. I sat him down one day and
told him straight out that he may one day end up with custody of his daughter
because of my daughters mental health issues . I asked him if he thought he
could handle that, he said then he thought he could. I said good I needed to
know that.
I do not believe a child should ever be kept from either parent unless the
parent was abusive.

If she is patient, she will find he will come
back to be a father.


Although grandma will do everything she can to prevent it.


Again Joelle, this is what I am saying about you with me? There is no way I
coulod ever do that, I love my grand-children dearly, they are my GRAND KIDS
and I am very content with that. I am 43 years old, tired, stressed out and
angry about the lack of compassion in the world.
I am not who you say I am.

He probably won't come back to her though. It is hard
for her I am sure though so I hope she hangs in there.

She should move away from her mother.

Joelle, I truly hope and pray, that one day within the next few years she can
be dependant enough and mentally healthy enough to move out on her own with her
baby , I am saddened for her that at this point she may have to do this on her
own and I do have concerns that she is able to.
My daughter and I have been through a lot over the past few years, the progress
she has made is awsome, we communicate well and have discussed the one day she
will be out on her own scenario, heh , we both started to cry, we have become
really close, she picked a song by the Pretenders called "I'll stand by you "
and told me she thinks of her and I when she hears it. This is why I know I
have done good with my kids. She does not need to move out , and struggle when
she has a family that loves and supports her , why would you say this if not to
just be mean?
Bev

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:3eG2d.39799$KU5.24081@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
ubject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "slykitten" ms
Date: 9/16/2004 10:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

do you have any clue about anything??? he IS my son's STEP DAD!!!!
he's
the
ONLY DAD my son has EVER known! He became DAD when my son was 15
months
old
and he accepted US. Yes, he IS STEP DAD.

--
No Sly she does not have a clue... I do though , I understand 100%. My
daughters had a step mom, from the time the oldest was 5 1/2 and the
youngest
she was 6 months old, would we have married over 20 years ago
probably,
but we
were denied that right. What do I feel about the paperwork now F%$#
it,
means
nothing what we had was more than any piece of paper could give us.
Our
vows
were etched within our hearts . Stay strong let it roll off it doesn't
matter
if there are people so shallow that they don't get it. Take care
Bev

Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose. You see what
you
want to see, but I'm telling you, your judgement is clouded by your
personal
vendetta against Joelle. But then again, why am I wasting my breath
when
I'm supposed to be holding it. Good luck to you in life, I sincerely
think
you'll need it.

Christine



Yeah, let it out.... breath please.

I agree as I tried to bring some awareness to her concerning Joelle's
posts.
But, hey, what do we know?

T


I don't believe I was replying to Joelle because her advice was sound and I
don't believe that she'd bash my beliefs religiously as marriage is a
personal choice, etc.... however, I do believe it was a reply from that
Bebelstrange person because this person has had a history of replying
nastily to me in the past. That's ok though too. I do hope I hadn't lashed
at Joelle and please keep in mind that when I made some of my initial
replies, I was only out of the hospital not more than a day or two and still
feeling the effects of being really sick. I've had the chance to since read
through and I'm amazed really that I'm not alone!

"slykitten" wrote in message
...


--


snipped


T


Believe me.... I've talked this over with my parents, my grampa, my sig
other and our therapist and we've all agreed that we believe that it
probably did scare the **** out of him! in fact.... it actually scared me
pretty good too.... I didn't realize just how serious it was until I went
back to my old anatomy books and read up on the digestive system and the
diseases of the digestive system. I got really lucky. I am incredibly
thankful too.



Yeah, I did a small amount of reading about it to. Eecckkk. Eat your fiber!


T

Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: oaway (Joelle)
Date: 9/18/2004 9:26 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

Joelle is not
offering me sincere prayers for my grandchild. S


I have very sincere prayers for your grandchild.

O.K.

She is saying my granddaughter
needs her prayer

She does.

O.K.

to save my grandchild from me,

That's right because I believe you are using her to fill your loss.

O.K.............I didn't lose a child, I lost my Dad going on 6 years now, and
my partner and friend , who I had been friends with for 8 years and partners
for 14 years which is coming up on 4 years now. I spent 22 of my 43 years with
her by my side , yeah I miss her big time but there is nothing in this whole
world that will ever fill that space . That void will not fill, not with a new
relationship, not with a friend , not with a child, nor a grand child. I fill
my life with as much joy as possible yes, The baby does give me joy and has
brought a ray of light into our lives but she isn't something to be used to
fill a void, a loss, my loss, Nope.

Everything else you wrote in this post is crap.

what can I say, sometimes I talk out my ass ?
Bev

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

"slykitten" wrote in message
news


--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:3eG2d.39799$KU5.24081@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
ubject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "slykitten" ms
Date: 9/16/2004 10:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

do you have any clue about anything??? he IS my son's STEP DAD!!!!
he's
the
ONLY DAD my son has EVER known! He became DAD when my son was 15
months
old
and he accepted US. Yes, he IS STEP DAD.

--
No Sly she does not have a clue... I do though , I understand 100%.
My
daughters had a step mom, from the time the oldest was 5 1/2 and the
youngest
she was 6 months old, would we have married over 20 years ago
probably,
but we
were denied that right. What do I feel about the paperwork now F%$#
it,
means
nothing what we had was more than any piece of paper could give us.
Our
vows
were etched within our hearts . Stay strong let it roll off it
doesn't
matter
if there are people so shallow that they don't get it. Take care
Bev

Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose. You see what
you
want to see, but I'm telling you, your judgement is clouded by your
personal
vendetta against Joelle. But then again, why am I wasting my breath
when
I'm supposed to be holding it. Good luck to you in life, I sincerely
think
you'll need it.

Christine



Yeah, let it out.... breath please.

I agree as I tried to bring some awareness to her concerning Joelle's
posts.
But, hey, what do we know?

T


I don't believe I was replying to Joelle because her advice was sound and
I
don't believe that she'd bash my beliefs religiously as marriage is a
personal choice, etc.... however, I do believe it was a reply from that
Bebelstrange person because this person has had a history of replying
nastily to me in the past. That's ok though too. I do hope I hadn't lashed
at Joelle and please keep in mind that when I made some of my initial
replies, I was only out of the hospital not more than a day or two and
still
feeling the effects of being really sick. I've had the chance to since
read
through and I'm amazed really that I'm not alone!



No sweat..... I was referring to bring awareness to someone else....... it
gets crazy, don't worry about it. lol

T

Joelle, I just do not get it , I really don't, I am not this person you keep
calling me?

I remember vividly LOTS of people giving you advice, most of it was how you had
to LET GO of this child and let your daughter and the father be parents, even
if they make mistakes. You refused to listen, came back with vicim stories and
it was really clear that you were using this baby to distract you from your
grief. It wasn't only me that noticed, I just probably was the least nice
about pointing it out.

Now if time has passed and you are ready to let go of that child and let your
DAUGHER be the MOTHER--even if it means taking the baby out in the snow, then
good for you. We all change and grow.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "Tiffany"
Date: 9/18/2004 6:56 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "Tiffany"
Date: 9/17/2004 9:20 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:
You forgot your sexuality.... .you once claimed we had some issues with
that
also.

Yes Tiff I did and we hashed that one out didn't we? I misunderstood the
comment you made to me , referring to my partner and I wanting to keep my
grand-daughter as our own. Which was/is the furthest from the truth.

A lot was hashed out months ago and you brought it back up. Maybe the past
should be in the past. It sucks that your daughter's boyfriend left her but
I can't say it is surprising. If she is patient, she will find he will come
back to be a father. He probably won't come back to her though. It is hard
for her I am sure though so I hope she hangs in there.

T



Yes Tiff hashed out some things back there a little ways... mainly I got
friggen ****ed off , or was that ****ed on? Anyway yeah it is the same
stuff only cause I won't settle for it. I won't lurk quietly all the time,
sometimes I have something to say you know LOL!
Thanks for the pep talk on the daughter , it has been hard for me to stay
nuetral and not hunt him down and slap his face for him. I know he is just a
kid too, probably what keeps me in line with him, but watching my daughters
pain breaks my heart. In the beginning all she did was cry ....sob and sob...
now.. she is ****ed, flaming woman scorned I think maybe he better look out !
LOL! They don't talk, the other day she brought the baby to school to visit one
of her teachers and there he stood down the hall close enough for the baby to
recognise him and he ignored them.I hope this does not keep up cause I will be
missing a shoegrin ! I can't wait for the both of them to grow up . Bev

Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: oaway (Joelle)
Date: 9/18/2004 8:31 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

Joelle, I just do not get it , I really don't, I am not this person you keep
calling me?


I remember vividly LOTS of people giving you advice, most of it was how you
had
to LET GO of this child and let your daughter and the father be parents, even
if they make mistakes.

I remember being told to give the baby up for adoption, and that I was wrong to
be helping my daughter raise the baby? Apparently I missed the "reason" eveyone
felt that way.

You refused to listen, came back with vicim stories

not sure what you mean about Victim stories ?


and
it was really clear that you were using this baby to distract you from your
grief.

Really? I have never felt this , I don't see it now even ? I am a mom with a
teenage daughter with mental health disabilities , she got herself pregnant,
and came to me for help, we discussed what we would do, bottom line SHE did not
want to give the baby up in any way. Good , fine, Mom will help you till you
are out of school and have your feet on the ground . Moms sin "guilt". Moms sin
"fear". Moms sin "fear of loss" yes.I trully believe my daughter would not
survive if I made her give up the baby or have an abortion. I was told my
daughter manipulated me very well, by many a person. I could be indeed guilty
of many things in my grief but use this baby as a distraction? I must be crazy
if that is what I have done.....................

It wasn't only me that noticed, I just probably was the least nice
about pointing it out.

I do know myself better than anyone, I know I see the baby as a great joy for
us to have been blessed with. I did not get pregnant to fill a void , or loss,
my daughter did, she will tell you she wanted to have a baby because no one
could take it away. News flash I told her "you don't take care of the baby and
yes someone can and will. " If this is what everyone thought I am sorry, If
there is something about my love and concern for my daughter and granddaughter
to get through this safely that is unhealthy, I do not recognise it.

Now if time has passed and you are ready to let go of that child and let your
DAUGHER be the MOTHER--even if it means taking the baby out in the snow, then
good for you. We all change and grow.

argh........O.K. I know... yes ...but make sure you put on her hat, gloves,
scarf, boots, and sun screen, and if her lips turn blue it is time to come in
Thanks , I just grew an inch..........................
Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

I remember being told to give the baby up for adoption, and that I was wrong
to
be helping my daughter raise the baby?

Why don't you go google the whole thread again. Maybe you'll be able to hear
better what people were telling you.

not sure what you mean about Victim stories ?

You are a victim. Nothing is your fault. You aren't responsbile for anything
bad that's happened to you. Nothing anybody suggests will work because the
whole world is against you. Anybody who doesn't tell you what you want to hear
is abusing you.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle