Need Help With 8 Year Old Son

It appears FamilyKB has few readers; it sure does not have many
posters, but it munges the content so much that most readers could
assume the posters are FamilyKB members. However, if you compare
FamilyKB "content" to the actual sources, you can see the posters have
nothing whatever to do with FamilyKB. Even worse, its "Parenting"
forum aggregates content from misc.kids and *other* sources. I think
its business model is to make FamilyKB *appear* to have a lively user
community, so maybe it will attract users and can be sold for millions
of dollars. The business model looks to be a total flop.

I have read that Google paid 400 million for eGroups, which became
part of Google Groups. Google Groups started off as just another
interface to Usenet, but now it looks more and more like Yahoo.

Pologirl

[This article originates in misc.kids; if you are reading it
elsewhere, you are reading *stolen* content.]

"Asanchez1977" u40164@uwe wrote in message news:7d46a0a9da1d1@uwe...
I have an eight year old son who just doesn't help out around the house,
continues to fight with his brothers and sisters, pouts, talks back and
just
will not settle down. I am currently single with five children, and I
find
myself losing my patience with him more and more every day.

Today he was asked to clean up the kitchen area with his sister. He
started
screwing around like he always does and fell and hurt himself. He
screamed
and cried, only to find that he wasn't really hurt at all. I have told
him
the story about the boy who cried wolf so many times, but he just doesn't
listen.

When I called him back downstairs and told him to finish the kitchen by
himself he started screaming saying that his sister was a liar that she
always lied. I asked him to stop...he continued. I told him to stop...he
continued to scream and cry. I blew up, brought him into the bathroom and
put a bar of soap in his mouth. He continued to scream and cry and kick.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have tried everything to make him
happy, given him chances upon chances. I just don't know what he needs
from
me. I ask him what can I do to help him...he says he wants daddy back.
That
isn't going to happen.

Can anyone give me some advice? I am at my wits end and I just don't know
if
I can continue taking care of him. What kind of mother does that make me?



There are a host of positive discipline books out there. Get some. Borrow
some. Start with

http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...89882&sr= 8-1

Stuffing soap in his mouth is never going to work. You need a whole new
lingo/set of skills than ask, tell, yell, punish. This book is a good place
to start.

Good luck.

On Dec 29, 9:47*am, Pologirl wrote:
I have read that Google paid 400 million for eGroups, which became
part of Google Groups. Google Groups started off as just another
interface to Usenet, but now it looks more and more like Yahoo.

Pologirl

[This article originates in misc.kids; *if you are reading it
elsewhere, you are reading *stolen* content.]


But, eGroups became Yahoo groups, not Google Groups.

Google Groups does leave quite a bit to be desired and I know there
are much better newsreaders now, but in some ways I find it an
improvement over the old text based newsreaders.

--Betsy

On Dec 27, 9:50 am, Sarah Vaughan wrote:
Asanchez1977 wrote:
I have an eight year old son who just doesn't help out around the house,
continues to fight with his brothers and sisters, pouts, talks back and just
will not settle down. I am currently single with five children, and I find
myself losing my patience with him more and more every day.

[snip description of difficult situation from OP, and some very good
advice from Sarah]

Can anyone give me some advice? I am at my wits end and I just don't know if
I can continue taking care of him. What kind of mother does that make me?

A totally normal one. We all feel overwhelmed at times, and most of us
don't have anything like as tough a row to hoe as you have. [snip for brevirty]
And one more thought - how much time are you getting for
yourself? Is there anyone who can give you a break from it all?
Sometimes that can make all the difference in your ability to keep going
and stay patient.

YES! It's critical to find help, however you can. With part of your
(and the kids') emotional connections gone, you have to build some
kind of asupport network, and fast.

If you don't have family nearby who can help, look to a congregation,
if you have one, or other moms in the neighborhood, and start
connecting. Just a sympathetic ear, or an offer to take one of your
other kids (maybe the sister who's irking the brother?) for a few
hours, can be a lifesaver. Someone who can watch the others if you
need to take one to the hospital.

You will return the favors as you're able--and you *will* be able,
maybe sooner than you know. Friends often have that effect on people!

And please remember that while this change in your household has upset
your life, it's absolutely devastated your son's. My mom used to say
that the kids who are the most difficult are the ones who need our
love most. Looking at your son as someone small, who's hurting and
feels powerless, instead of as someone who's doing his best to make
your life even more difficult -- that will make it easier to be the
mom you want to be.

Best wishes.

Lori G.

Asanchez1977 wrote:
I have an eight year old son who just doesn't help out around the
house, continues to fight with his brothers and sisters, pouts, talks
back and just will not settle down. I am currently single with five
children, and I find myself losing my patience with him more and more
every day.

Today he was asked to clean up the kitchen area with his sister. He
started screwing around like he always does and fell and hurt
himself. He screamed and cried, only to find that he wasn't really
hurt at all. I have told him the story about the boy who cried wolf
so many times, but he just doesn't listen.

When I called him back downstairs and told him to finish the kitchen
by himself he started screaming saying that his sister was a liar
that she always lied. I asked him to stop...he continued. I told
him to stop...he continued to scream and cry. I blew up, brought him
into the bathroom and put a bar of soap in his mouth. He continued
to scream and cry and kick.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have tried everything to
make him happy, given him chances upon chances. I just don't know
what he needs from me. I ask him what can I do to help him...he says
he wants daddy back. That isn't going to happen.

Can anyone give me some advice? I am at my wits end and I just don't
know if I can continue taking care of him. What kind of mother does
that make me?

do what my dad did.... tear that butt up with a belt......

thats whats wrong with America today, parents are not using the tried and
true methods of the past.

On Jan 1, 12:46 pm, "Mark" wrote:

do what my dad did.... tear that butt up with a belt......

thats whats wrong with America today, parents are not using the tried and
true methods of the past.

I am not against all corporal punishment, but that is too harsh, and
in most (all?) states of the U.S., I think it's illegal.

Beliavsky wrote:
On Jan 1, 12:46 pm, "Mark" wrote:

do what my dad did.... tear that butt up with a belt......

thats whats wrong with America today, parents are not using the tried and
true methods of the past.

I am not against all corporal punishment, but that is too harsh, and
in most (all?) states of the U.S., I think it's illegal.

I don't know of any state where corporal punishment by parents is
illegal. Of course, child abuse is illegal in every state.

However, I think the words, "Go to your room for ten minutes," when
followed by appropriate action (picking the child up, putting him on his
bed, and closing the door, if necessary) when done consistently, will
provide better results and not teach the child that it is ok to hit.

Jeff