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Midwives and my birth/story



 
 
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  #1  
Old May 17th 04, 12:30 AM
Jill
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Default Midwives and my birth/story

Argh. While my husband is holding the baby, I just wanted to post about my
birth experience. (Motherhood is great! But ouch....I am in soooooo much
pain, a whole week later! read on...)

I had discussed my birthing plans with the midwife beforehand and had told
her definitely, I did not want to be in any more pain that I had to and
would want an epidural (and would let her know if by chance I didn't end up
feeling like I needed one). When they asked me what was most important to
me, I said the health of the baby- I will consent to any procedure
necessary, if it IS necessary, for the baby's safety, and also- it was
really imoprtant to me not to be in pain. They emphasized to me that it is
my choice and they fully support whatever I want be it epidural or IV meds
or nothing at all. But they assured me, they would have no problems with me
having an epidural, that a lot of their patients have them.

But what happened....was traumatic, I labored for 18 hours! My water broke
at 4am. I had no pain or cramping or contractions. We went to the hospital
at about 5:30am. It took a while to get me checked in, and still no
contractions. The midwife showed up and immediately ordered an IV drip of
Pitocin!! She didn't even ask me, but she did tell me she wanted to do it
and her reasoning. She just said she didn't want me going any longer without
contractions. I don't understand this? I told her I've heard Pitocin causes
more painful contractions and also can increase chances of a C-section. She
said it increases C-section chances ONLY when used in someone whose cervix
is not ready and probably in people who would end up having a C anyway. She
did say the contractions hit harder, and told me they would increase my
pitocin very slowly and give me an epidural as soon as the pain became too
bad.

Well, it was a few hours but the pain hit HARD. She orderedn the epidural
and checked me and I was only dilated to 2cm. Since I had the epidural she
turned up the Pitocin. I had NO problems with the epidural..I could move my
legs and feel everything, but felt no pain, it didn't bother my back or
leave me with a headache. But.,......in 2 hours it wore off, and they called
anesthesia to give me more meds. They checked me and I was dilated 10- fully
dilated! This was about 3pm. She wanted me to "labor down" before pushing so
she had the Pitocin turned off and had me rest for an hour. My epidural wore
off again! This time she wanted me to push before ythe epidural and it went
on for a long time until I was hurting SO bad and nothing was accomplished.
I was pushing hard but the baby wasn't moving. I begged for the epidural
again and she finally called anesthesia back. Well.......after more pushing
and no baby, and me being completely exhausted and in pain....the epidural
wore off again!!! I was crying out in pain, and insisting I wanted and
needed pain relief per my birth plan. It was way too long before she
actually agreed to get the anesthesia person back in. THEN the midwife told
the anesthesiologist "Give her only half the amount you have been since she
needs to push". The anesthesiologist shot her a look and looked at me (I'm
crying by now) and said "If I give half I may as well not even give ANY
because it won't help" and the anesthesiologist gave me MORE--- GOD BLESS
HER!!!! I was truly in agony, I don't know why it was so bad. Or why the
midwife seemed to not care if my epodural wore off. So anyway after 2 more
hours of pushing, they had been seeing the baby's head all this time but she
was STUCK, and the midwife even said she could see I was truly pushing hard.
She finally told me that I was a good pusher and the baby should have been
out by now but wasn't coming down. The midwife told me she was calling the
OB and transferring care to him, and she told me to get ready for a
C-section!!! She told me it would be the doctor's decision, her hands were
out of it now, but in allhonesty I was headed for a C-section so she was
having the nurses prepare me. I was SO tense!!! And worried. Also by this
time the midwife had caused a vaginal tear while reaching in me.

Well...the OB, a really wonderful doctor who I had never met, came in and
checked me and said he thought he could get the baby out himself. He did
have to use forceps and I did have to push but he had the baby out in 10
minutes!!! He also scolded the nurses for some equipment being labelled
wrong, my husband said (I wasn't paying attention!) The dr was all-business
and he got the job done.

And one more thing I forgot to mention, all the while my epidural had worn
off, the midwife kept telling me "You said it hurts once- don't mention it
again! We are going to think about something else now", and wouldn't let
them redo my epidural until SHE wantd them to. My mom did come to the
hospital and heard the midwife telling me at the beginning that they would
give me pain medication to take care of my pain, not to be nervous. My
husband never left my side the entire labor so he witnessed how the midwife
did. But anyway, every time after that I said I hurt and was asking for
epidural, the midwife would get on me and tell me I had to think about
something else, my pain would "not be zero", I would hurt some. !!!! I was
furious. Actually that was afterwards, during labor I was just upset and in
a lot of pain.

I feel the midwife was WAY wrong to deny me the epidural after it kept
wearing off. My labor nurse said hers wore off every 2 hours also. Also, if
the midwife had turned me over to the OB in the first place, soon after
realizxing the baby wasn't coming out, I wonder if I would have as many
stitches. They did not do episiotomy but I tore through the muscles and had
a lot of stitches.

The past few days I have been in excriciating pain. The midwives , every
time I call them , get on me for mentioning the pain. They gave me Lortab
which is ineffective and finally ended up giving me Percocet. But my bottom
is SO sore. One of the midwives in the groups told me over the phone that
they didn't think I hurt any more than anyone else, that it was my "anxiety"
causing me to "think" I hurt bad. !!!!!!Then she said "Do you think that's
what it is Jiiiiiiill?" My husband was in the room, and looked kind of
surprised when I took a tone with her for the rest of the phone call. My
husband had me call the midwife on call because he wanted them to meet me at
the ER to make sure my stitches aren't coming out or I am not bleeding
internally. I finally ended up calling the OB on call for the OBs office
that the midwives partner with. I told him about all of this. He told me his
wife had the same thing happen (had a tear through her muscles) and that it
is very painful indeed and he knew that's what happened to me from what
happened during labor and my description of the pain now. He's having me
come in Monday to see the OB who delivered my baby to check me. He said
unfortunately, the midwives don't like to treat pain with medicines, that
the OBs are more pain-centered. I told him-- they told me at my initial
consult that they had no problem giving you whatever pain relief you need-
then I told him about the anxiety comment. He sort of couldn't believe that.
But he also couldn't believe the midwife let me keep pushing when the baby
was stuck, for 4 hours...

Sigh..................I will not be seeing the midwives anymore. They were
fantastic during my appointments but labor with them was hell. Their
treatment after labor when I have been in very bad pain from the stitches,
has been horrid too. My husband even commented that for no reason, they have
been kind of attitudey and sarcastic, whenever the subject of pain or
request for pain relief comes up and he agrees with me if they want to be
unhelpful with it, they should have told me when I told them I didn't want a
natural birth instead of telling me they give epidurals and whatever else
the patient needs or prefers.

But the bottom line is, my daughter is beautiful and worth it, perfect and
healthy,and I would do it all over again to have her. Oh- the OB also told
me if I HAD labored naturally without Pitocin, I probably really wouldn't
have hurt as bad THEN as I did this time with the epidurals that wore off,
because my contractions priobably wouldn't have been nearly as bad!! he also
said a recovery from a c-section would potentially be less painful than
recovery from the kind of tears and stitches I had. NOW they tell me!

I think next time I will stick with an OB and have a doula, instead of a
nurse-midwife.


  #2  
Old May 17th 04, 12:56 AM
Donna
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Default Midwives and my birth/story


"Jill" wrote in message
om...



Oh, Jill, I'm so sorry that your experience with the midwives was so
negative. That's really too bad.

Oh- the OB also told
me if I HAD labored naturally without Pitocin, I probably really wouldn't
have hurt as bad THEN as I did this time with the epidurals that wore off,
because my contractions priobably wouldn't have been nearly as bad!!


FWIW, that's armchair quarterbacking. It's no more valid than a midwife,
saying after a bad medical birth "Oh, well, had we handled you without
interventions, things would have gone more smoothly." There really isn't
any way to know what might have happened had you made other choices.

he also
said a recovery from a c-section would potentially be less painful than
recovery from the kind of tears and stitches I had. NOW they tell me!


This I can speak to, having had a C. While you might have had a painful
recovery, you might also have had a nearly pain-free one from a C, like I
did. It's very possible. But again, you could have had the C and had a
terrible recovery. Try to let it go. There really isn't any way of knowing
what would have happened in different circumstances.


I think next time I will stick with an OB and have a doula, instead of a
nurse-midwife.


Personally, I'm greatly in favor of in-hospital, OB-attended births, so of
course I think that's a good idea. But you might consider, if a
midwife-attended birth is important to you, that you could have an excellent
birth experience with a different group of midwives. Like physicians, there
are great midwives and not-so-great-midwives out there. When the time comes
around that you are shopping around for another caregiver, consider that you
could certainly find a good midwife, elsewhere.

I'm very sorry that you had such a rough go, Jill. I'm really happy that
you got good medical care and ongoing pain relief at last, however. I hope
you feel more comfortable soon.

Donna



  #3  
Old May 17th 04, 03:14 AM
Ericka Kammerer
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Default Midwives and my birth/story

Jill wrote:

Sorry you had to go through all that! I do think that
pushing that long with that little progress isn't particularly
common, even among midwives, unless the mom *wants* to continue
that way. I think it would be an uncommon situation for that
to go on so long without at least bringing in an OB consult
when the birth was in the hospital already.

Sigh..................I will not be seeing the midwives anymore. They were
fantastic during my appointments but labor with them was hell. Their
treatment after labor when I have been in very bad pain from the stitches,
has been horrid too. My husband even commented that for no reason, they have
been kind of attitudey and sarcastic, whenever the subject of pain or
request for pain relief comes up and he agrees with me if they want to be
unhelpful with it, they should have told me when I told them I didn't want a
natural birth instead of telling me they give epidurals and whatever else
the patient needs or prefers.


Absolutely. I'm sorry your midwives behaved that way.
It's certainly inappropriate.

I think next time I will stick with an OB and have a doula, instead of a
nurse-midwife.


Truly, I don't think that your experience had to do
with the *type* of provider so much as personal or practice
philosophy issues. I would just suggest that next time you
try to get additional information on pain relief philosophies
from *whichever* caregivers you interview. Actually, the
tough thing is that you probably need to get independent
information (e.g., recommendations from other clients, if
possible), because I think this is an area where you usually
are told whatever they think you want to hear. The midwives
I went with are probably as earthy-birthy as they come, but
I know several of their clients who ended up with transports
(for exhaustion or failure to progress or whatever) who then
chose to have epidurals and didn't catch any grief whatsoever
for it.

Best wishes,
Ericka

  #4  
Old May 17th 04, 03:20 AM
Dagny
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Default Midwives and my birth/story

Jill

What a nightmare.

I don't know what to say except that I am very upset at what you
experienced. I went through my own birth trauma last fall. Too much mental
and physical damage.

To as much recovery as we can,
Dagny

Mom to Meg, 10/03
and to a possibility, ?1/19/05?




  #5  
Old May 17th 04, 03:59 AM
Coccinella
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Default Midwives and my birth/story

Ouch Jill. You have been so amazing! I think I would have bitten the head
off the midwife!
I cannot believe the attitude of the midwives. Everybody experiences pain
differently, anxiety or not. Who are they to be so rude to you! And the tear
you ended up with and the stitches sounds way more painful than my recovery
from the c-section.
Anyway you got the best present a mother could wish for this past Mother's
day!
Congratulations again to you and DH and welcome to lovely Rachel.
Wishing you a very speedy and complete recovery.

Pampering vibes on your way.

Love

--
Nicky

Proud mamma to Alexandra (03/22/2004)


  #6  
Old May 17th 04, 04:52 AM
Nikki
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Default Midwives and my birth/story

Jill wrote:
Argh. While my husband is holding the baby, I just wanted to post
about my birth experience. (Motherhood is great! But ouch....I am in
soooooo much pain, a whole week later! read on...)


Oh Jill - I'm so sorry for all the trauma. I'm stunned that your midwives
behaved so badly :-(

For the stitches... take lots of baths, get some witch hazel pads to wear in
your underwear, use that numbing spray you can buy over the counter, and a
peri bottle each time you go to the restroom. I found sitting on plain hard
chairs to be more comfortable then cushy chairs which sounds counter
intuitive but I think it meant less stretching. That was especially true
with #1, probably because there was more generalized swelling and trauma
(due to a long pushing stage).


--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)


  #7  
Old May 17th 04, 05:38 AM
Maggie
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Default Midwives and my birth/story

Jill spake thusly
Argh. While my husband is holding the baby, I just wanted to post about my
birth experience. (Motherhood is great! But ouch....I am in soooooo much
pain, a whole week later! read on...)


Jill, I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic experience. I'm still
playing over my own experience in my mind, and it was quick and
uneventful in comparison - it is so much to deal with, isn't it? And
being sore for weeks afterwards makes it a little harder to enjoy
motherhood, I've found. I had a third degree tear, so I kinda know what
you're going through with the sore bottom!! My midwife recommended a
daily salt bath - add half a cup of salt to your bath. Plus showering
off after a bowel movement, to keep the area clean. After two weeks, I
can finally say that I'm feeling heaps better, and able to move around
okay. It's a bit itchy down below, but I think that's just things
healing.

It does get better.
--
Maggie
Jamie - May 2nd
  #8  
Old May 17th 04, 06:52 AM
Carol Ann
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Default Midwives and my birth/story

SNIPPED THE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE MIDWIFE INFORMATION!

But the bottom line is, my daughter is beautiful and worth it, perfect and
healthy,and I would do it all over again to have her.


The good news is you know what to expect next time! What a horrible midwife
you had. I'm sorry I wasn't there to be able to step in and help!

In my situation, my mother stepped in and INSISTED they call in the OB
because she was worried about me.

Additionally, I had the self dispensing clicker to have my epidural
administered (though it was leaking and wore off and had to be fixed by the
anesthesiologist). I know how it feels to wear off. Scary as hell thinking
you will have to deliver without it!

Nubain was the worst part of the entire labor.

Glad you are home and well. How is the breastfeeding coming along??

--
~Carol Ann
Mom to Morgan born 3.24.04
http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeBNnDdizZNneg ---Pictures!




  #9  
Old May 17th 04, 01:12 PM
Ericka Kammerer
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Default Midwives and my birth/story

Maggie wrote:

My midwife recommended a
daily salt bath - add half a cup of salt to your bath.


My midwives recommended a slightly more elaborate
bath that might be helpful. You need to buy some herbs,
and you'll want to get them somewhere that sells them in
bulk (some health food stores do). For each bath:

1/2 cup uva ursi
1/2 cup comfrey
1/2 cup shepherd's purse
1/2 head of garlic (roughly chopped, skins okay)
1/2 cup sea salt

Bring a couple quarts of water to a boil in a non-
reactive pan. Take it off the heat and add the
herbs. Steep 20 minutes or so, then strain into
the bath.

Do this once a day until you're feeling better. I
didn't have much perineal trauma, so I'm probably not
the best judge of how well it works, but I talked to
some of their other clients who thought it worked
wonders. (It's great for baby's cord stump, too.)

Best wishes,
Ericka

  #10  
Old May 17th 04, 03:29 PM
cara
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Default Midwives and my birth/story



Jill wrote:

The past few days I have been in excriciating pain. The midwives , every
time I call them , get on me for mentioning the pain. They gave me Lortab
which is ineffective and finally ended up giving me Percocet. But my bottom
is SO sore. One of the midwives in the groups told me over the phone that
they didn't think I hurt any more than anyone else, that it was my "anxiety"
causing me to "think" I hurt bad.


I think its very irresponsible to be dissmissive of your post-partum
pain levels without actually checking you to rule out infection; either
way, pain is pain and should be dealt with. Glad you are enjoying
motherhood even if your labor and delivery wasn't ideal.

cara

 




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