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14yr old girl, 19yr old boyfriend
I'm posting in here because I've not got much (if any) help elsewhere. Sorry
if this is somewhat long, but allot is going on. This past September I had to take guardianship of my 14 yr. old sister (I'm 24 now, 9yrs 2months older) after a police raid (responded to her domestic violence call for the boyfriend abusing our mother & found allot of drugs). Either I took her or DHS would (having grown up in that one myself, I didn't want that to happen to her). We've only met up in 1998, then didn't really see each other until end of 2000, & didn't spend allot of time together until mid 2002, followed by her staying with a friend & myself in summer 2003 (before the 9-2003 raid). She hardly talks to her mom (who chose to live with her boyfriend rather than try to get her back) & her father only shows up around holidays to pay her, say he's sorry for not being around, make more promises he has no intention of keeping, then leave until next time. There is no other family other than 1 of our other 2 sisters that she talks to. Everything was fine at first & we moved into a mobile home I'd bought in October 2003. In early January, she started seeing a 19.5yr old boy & soon classified themselves as "dating". Since then her grades have went down (A & B to few Cs & an F on a recent progress report, due to missing a test from skipping school to be with him), she's been going behind my back on anything related to him. They're kissing, not sure about sex yet, wouldn't surprise me either way though, he even pierced her upper ear, something she knew I & her mom were OK with IF SHE GOT IT DONE PROFESSIONALLY, now possible talk of a tattoo though may not be in a place I'd have non-spying reason to see. He used to spend allot of time over here until I caught her laying on top of him & made the rule that she keep the bedroom door open, now if I'm gone he's over, if I'm here she's gone (she claims its because he doesn't feel welcome, but I noticed the change when I started enforcing the rule). I've been logging her MS Instant Messenger chats, now installed a key-logger, & want to do more. I know from this what has been going on (but she's recently turned to phone only, hardly chat). In early February I had evidence to show that he's supplied her with drugs (think only marijuana so far, which she's already had), cigarettes, he has access to alcohol (his father allows), & they talked about her giving him a lap dance, then showering together for valentines day. I took this chat log to the police (he's 19, she's 14), but they gave the usual "blow-off" response & said that since they didn't come right out & say what was going on (used code words & phrases, which though are obvious, I guess you need non-code for evidence) & since she was pushing it, even though he was agreeing to it & suggesting it sometimes, they said SHE had to file the report against him (even though I'm her guardian). I couldn't even get a protective order against him. Also his parents both know about her age & their relationship, but they don't care (I've got chat log to show he controls them, tells them to back off about it). I'm going away this next week (spring break), she'll "be with friend", though I've got more log to suggest otherwise. She's tried to convince me to let her stay over at his place, claims his mom asked (was more likely forced into being willing), & claims that she'll be on the couch (we all know better). I'm looking for hardware or software or other surveillance ideas. The only way this will work (without causing her to go completely behind my back) is if I can push this far enough to put him away, take some severe action against his parents for allowing things to continue IN THEIR HOME (remember, the cops say my chat logs aren't enough to press charges, I have to catch them in the act & still may need evidence)...basically it's either everything or nothing. (talking does not work, he's convinced her that I'm just an over protective brother...most adults think otherwise & my problem is that all adults she knows other than myself & my girlfriend support her & what he's getting her into...so I've got ALLOT against me in this area). -- There are 10 types of people in this world... ....those who understand binary & those who dont. |
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14yr old girl, 19yr old boyfriend | Daniel | Foster Parents | 27 | March 25th 04 01:47 AM |