worried about the future

Do you have any friends who have or had daycare? You could ask them who
they had and trusted. When I was thinking about going back to work (I
didn't get the job and I wasn't really willing to seek out another job
just to get a job), I talked to a friend's nanny (the friend didn't need
her anymore) about her services. I knew the nanny and felt good about
her. Another source that is continually mentioned is your church (if you
are a member of one - I'm not) - see if there are any daycare providers
or babysitters there.

Not really, I'm quite a young mum (24) so most of my friends haven't got
to the stage of having kids yet. The few friends that use daycare mainly
use nurseries linked to there places of work. The one linked to my place
of work is full, they are in the process of building a new one, but it
won't be ready til October and I'm on the waiting list. My church has been
very useful, but summer is difficult, those that do childcare have there
own kids home so don't want to do it. The older people often are busy with
their own grandchildren.

Ouch - is there anywhere near you that does Vactional care? This might
be an option worth looking into (I don't know what the OS options for
this are but in Aus there are places that do care for children when
normal childcare is unavaliable).
As far as I have so far found only for school age children.

To the OP: My mother is also obsessed with me stopping at one year.
It's really strange (her obsession), IMO. All my sisters stopped all
their babies at 6 months, so she was all weirded out about me nursing
to one year with my first; she was used to that with my second, but
now I'm not weaning the third at one year. I have told her I can't
wean during this famously bad cold/flu season, and that has put her
off, but I really don't know when I will wean right now. At least I
will have quiet from her until cold/flu season is over. Is it cold/flu
season where you are? Maybe you could use that as an excuse for a few
months?
sadly not, but it will give us an excuse to go on through next winter,
and possibly the following one!

Dawn Lawson wrote in message news:_oBKb.971206$pl3.647795@pd7tw3no...
Karen wrote:

DH and I are trying to figure out how to go see RotK in shifts.

We did this when ds was little, it was the only way we saw any movies.
There is a mall within walking distance of our house, with both a movie
theater and a casual restaurant we like. I would go see the movie first,
an 11:00ish showing, we'd meet for lunch at the restaurant

RotK is 3.5 hrs long.

Why not rent it?

Mostly because the speakers on my TV won't do justice to the
soundtrack. Every time I've heard snippets of it on NPR or whatever,
I've realized about 10 seconds in that I'm really enjoying it.

Ordinarily movies in theatres, especially action movies, are far too
loud for me to tolerate, so ordinarily I do rent whatever I want to
see. But I saw FotR in the theatre, then TTT at home on my TV, and
was sad. :-) Now I am trying to decide if I will be sad enough to
want to juggle our problematic schedules enough to watch a movie by
myself in a theatre with sticky floors.

Now, if I had a huge TV and Bose surround speakers at home, renting
would be my preference. Seems a killer expenditure when I would use
it just for movie rentals once every few weeks or so, though -- I'm
not much of a TV watcher.

--
C, mama to one year old nursling

Molly Fisher wrote in message '
I wish more theaters (especially those in my neck o' the woods) would
offer a Mom's Matinee.

If I recall correctly, you are in Michigan right Molly? Birmingham's
Palladium has Mom's morning out to see movies. But, like Dawn I can't see
the appeal to see a movie with my kid/s or other people's children. When I
see a movie, I like to engross myself in it and forget everything. That is
hard to do with my kids or others that are loud.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

i had (and still am) having the same exact problem, expect for two
differnces...1) my baby is only 7 months old and they want me to
stop...and 2) they have wanted me to stop since cayden was 1 month
old.....and its not my family its my boyfriends family...they were
against it since the begining that i started...te first time that i ever
breatfeed the baby in front of them was when i was in the hospital right
after cayden was born...due to not really fully understanding how to
latch him on yet, i needed to take my shirt off so that i could see how
he was doing...i warned my boyfriends mom that i was going to feed the
baby and she said that was fine...maybe i should have told her i was
going to take my shirt off and just have a sheet over my uper half, but
i totally forgot...i took my shirt off with my back to her and got into
bed and covered my other breast with the sheet, leacing the other one
fully exposed...after the baby was latchd on, she told me that
breastfeeding was BAD for the baby (can you imagine) and that i should
realy bottle feed...i tried explaining the beneifts of breastfeeding to
her she wanted no part of it...then about a month later we went out to
her house and the baby was hunrgy...not think, once again lol...i lifted
up my shirt and started to nurse him...i heard her whisper to my
brothers sister that i just (let them plop out anywhere) i was not
amused...i screamed and yelled at her, and so did my boyfriend...we told
her that until she got comfortable with my breastfeeding the baby
shecouldnt see him anymore...and we left....she called later and said
that she was sorry and that even if she didnt agree with it she wouldnt
say anything about it anymore...boy did she lie...on christmas eve we
went out to her house, and she hadnt seen me nursethe baby for awhile
because whenever she was there he wasnt hungry...she must have thought i
weaned him....but on christmas eve cayden was hungry again, so i started
to nursehim....she looked at me and said "i cant belivce that your STILL
breastfeeding the baby"....i told her that i was and i planned to doi it
until cayden decided he wanted to stop...boy did that blow her up....to
make matters worse, besides his mother my boyfriends STEP mother keeps
dropping hints about how its best to wean the baby at six months old, to
get him used to bottles so tat i can go out without the baby...i told
her 1) the baby is used to bottles he gets them 2 days a week when i
work and 2) i dont WANT to go out without the baby, at least not
yet...that set her off, saying that i was spoling the baby and that he
needs to get used to caregivers besides me and she alos said that cayden
needs to learn how to cry...because i never let him cry...well shes
right i never let him cry, there is no reason a 7 month old baby should
have to cry at least not without me holding him...and every time he does
cry my first instinct is to of course nurse him.....im sure my story
hasnt helped you at all besides to let you know that your not alone in
this matter....just keep your head strong and do what you think is right
for your baby...if i did what everyone else thought was right for cayden
i wou,d have weaned him when he was a month old....

Linz wrote in message . ..
On 6 Jan 2004 11:10:20 -0800, (Irene) wrote:

Linz wrote in message . ..
On Mon, 5 Jan 2004 21:54:26 +0000, Anne Rogers
wrote:

When I say the WHO say you should breastfeed for 2 years,
people say that doesn't matter as we have good water here.

"Water doesn't contain the antibodies he gets from my milk, does it?",
you ask, innocently!

Love it! I've said similar before, but never as well, I'm afraid. ;-)

I will, of course, forget this as soon as someone questions my desire
to extend BF!

Or, you'll remember, but no one will phrase their question in such a
way that your response will work! ;-)

Irene

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
150 miles! 3.5 hours drive, so a week or not at all is the best
option.
She might be able to come here for some of the time, but I have 6
weeks of
childcare to sort out, I might take unpaid leave from work, if that is
the
only option.

I see what the problem is now. I didn't know we were talking a week.
I know you said she could stay for three weeks, could she be talked into
coming for the whole six weeks? (tell her it would be better for your
son to
be in his home envoirnment). )

it would be useful, but I think she has a 2 week holiday booked, plus as a
teacher she has to go in to work for 2 days a week apart for exam results.


seems to me that you only have one option - if work is important to you and
you are not prepared to take that time off, then you need to find someone
local who can fill in while your regular carers are unavailable. It sounds
like a difficult job but if you start now and interview and do trial periods
while you are there to supervise, I think you would find someone who you
would feel comfortable with. I would also feel that if anything did go
wrong, at least you would be close by to help or fix the situation. If your
Mum has trouble, then you are 150 miles away. Personally, I would feel a
lot more comfortable with the close-by carer situation. Also, it sounds
like your Mum has her own life to live - she works, she has holiday plans -
she obviously wants to help out and that is great - you have to decide if it
is practical. I dont want to come over too critical about this because I
use both parents for childcare - I work 2 days/week and my Mum does one and
my MIL does another. However, I am adamant that this will only be while it
is fun for all concerned and anything else that crops up will be worked
around. Eg., my Mum is away for a week right now, my MIL will away 3 weeks
os in July, we worked around a breast cancer operation recovery a couple of
years ago. Looking after the child is our responsibility and they help only
when they want, otherwise we make other arrangements (usually involving us
taking time off - we have not yet had to use formal childcare).
Grandparents have already raised children, grandkids should be fun, not an
obligation. What about looking into a course for nannies or childcare
workers - they might have students who would be interested in holiday work.
They would be young but should have an interest in kids and some of them may
have lots of babysitting experience already. As Tine said, you wouldnt know
them to start with, but you could get to know them beforehand and they could
become a valauble resource later to you. Dont write this suggestion off on
the basis of one unsatisfactory experience. Do you think your child would
be happy to stay a week away from you - both mine would definitely not be
and I would not like it either. Your child might be completely ok with it
but I think the more practical solution is to find someone local. JMHO,

good luck
Leah

"Chotii" wrote in message .. .

I don't know how many times I've heard the phrase, "When you kids were
little, I never childproofed a thing. You all learned what 'no' meant and
there weren't any problems. And you all turned out just fine."

Yeah, yeah. I'd be willing to bet my brothers and I spent most of our
toddlerhoods in a playpen, which is just reverse babyproofing - you protect
the house from the baby, not the other way around.

I suspect many of our grandparents and parents did it this way, and this is
exactly why they not only don't have babyproofed houses, but would protest
the need to do it, even to watch their own grandchildren.

Exactly.

I hear, from MIL, stories about how she'd be cooking in the kitchen,
and she'd hear a noise from down the hall, and so she'd go down the
hall to the bedroom to check on the baby, give him a new bottle,
change his diapers, and then she'd have burned her dinner.

Amusingly, my MIL is convinced that DS just needs to handle the
objects he's investigating once at which point they'll lose that
special new quality and cease to be interesting, and that if I allow
him to explore at her house, he'll gently pick things up, study them,
and then put them back where they belong. He is smack in the middle
of the developmental "throw!" stage.

--
C, mama to one year old nursling

Anne Rogers wrote:
Before ds was born I intended to nurse him through the first year, it
hadn't occured to me that longer might be good. Now I'm better
educated, it's best for him to carry on longer and I intend to let
him self wean. The problem is my mum and my friends, they all think I
am nuts, [. . . ]

At a recent family gathering, DS's step-great grandmother sat next to me
while DS dozed post-bf, and she told me about a woman who nursed all of her
children to age two. She asked, "Can you imagine?" I smiled and nodded
"yes," and was pleasantly surprised when she went on to say how wonderful
she thought it was.

Since DS turned 10 months yesterday, I imagine I'll be getting the "when"
question from some people in a couple of months. I have no idea who will
ask, but it should be interesting. DH has commented that it's not as if a
curtain drops at 12 months and suddenly the baby no longer needs to bf. . .
..

Bottom line: You'll do what you know is best. Your mother doesn't get a
vote!
--
Belphoebe