Solicit gifts from students

In article , Lee says...

Scott said:

mdurg wrote:
Is it normal etiquette for an elementary school teacher to solicit gifts
from their students? We got a letter from school today asking for a $4
donation for a Chimnea (small enclosed fireplace) for "their big deck on
their new house" for the teacher. Now this isn't so bad, because in this
case both my wife and I really like this teacher and what she has done for
our son this year. And I think someone else has passed out the solicitation
without her knowing.

But I can think of another case a few years ago when another of his teachers
got married and solicited the class (3rd graders) for a wedding gift! That
was really bad, or at least I think so. I can imagine some of the parents
unwilling or unable to fork over a few bucks and their poor kids going in to
school and feeling left out because they didn't give anything.

Am I off base here? Or is this not right?

It is always tacky to solicit for a gift. If I were
this teacher, and someone passed out such a solicitation
on my behalf, without my knowledge, I would be absolutely
mortified. Especially if there are children in the class
with families that are just scraping by. Sheesh. Some
people do not THINK.

I've seen this in every one of my kids' classes, and it's
always been done tactfully. The note goes home sealed in
an envelope addressed to the parents. It's very clear
that not everybody is expected to choose to contribute,
and that this is intended as a convenience for those who
want to give something to the teacher, but don't want to
have to try to find an original gift.

I don't really like this practice - mass partially-anonymous gifts always kinda
rubbed me the wrong way, but I can see why people do it. IME for elementary
school it was done for every teacher. I would not contribute, and instead, for
the year-end gift, I would ask the teacher what they felt would really benefit
the classroom as far as supplies, and got that as a year-end gift. (My son's
third grade teacher said a microscope! Well, he got one from me :-) For the
holidays, I always gave a gift certificate to a restaurant like Applebee's.

Banty

"mdurg" wrote:

Is it normal etiquette for an elementary school teacher to solicit gifts
from their students? We got a letter from school today asking for a $4
donation for a Chimnea (small enclosed fireplace) for "their big deck on
their new house" for the teacher. Now this isn't so bad, because in this
case both my wife and I really like this teacher and what she has done for
our son this year. And I think someone else has passed out the solicitation
without her knowing.

But I can think of another case a few years ago when another of his teachers
got married and solicited the class (3rd graders) for a wedding gift! That
was really bad, or at least I think so. I can imagine some of the parents
unwilling or unable to fork over a few bucks and their poor kids going in to
school and feeling left out because they didn't give anything.

Am I off base here? Or is this not right?

When my 3rd grade teacher got married, my mom had a shower for her - I
think it was a party where everyone gave something toward a gift
certificate - this was because both the bride and the groom were older
and had lived on their own for some time, so they already had most
household items.

In elementary school in those days we all lived in the same
geographical area, and we were about the poorest of the people in the
area as my dad was an asst. prof. which didn't pay well.

I never had the kids give me any kind of a gift when I was teaching,
but when I stopped coaching the swim team they gave me a brief case
(Samsonite) which I used for years even after I backed the car over
it. FInally the catch on one side fell off and it wouldn't shut
anymore. But I've still got it.

grandma Rosalie

"mdurg" wrote in message
...
Is it normal etiquette for an elementary school teacher to solicit gifts
from their students? ... snip


Thanks for all your opinions. I found out this morning one of the mothers
set this up during a two day period she knew the teacher would not be there.
I did say in my first post that I do not mind at all to donate, this teacher
has been wonderful for my son this year (we finally identified that he has a
learning disability but very intelligent and since we've put in the plan he
has changed very much for the better academically and socially.) We normally
send in a card or something every year for each teacher.

However from what I remember of the wedding gift episode a few years ago was
handled very poorly. I don't think the students should be involved that
personally in the teacher's life.

Thanks,
mdurg

In article , Beeswing wrote:
My daughter has has the same (wonderful) teacher for three years now,
but will now be moving on to a new teacher. Is it okay for either us or
our daughter to give a bouquet of flowers to the teacher on the last day
of school, or is that considered going overboard? Are flowers okay as a
"small gift"?

Flowers from a child to a teacher are a perfectly appropriate small gift.

If you have had a wonderful teacher for 3 years, a larger gift could
be given without guilt.

--
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Affiliations for identification only.

"mdurg" wrote:

"mdurg" wrote in message
...
Is it normal etiquette for an elementary school teacher to solicit gifts
from their students? ... snip


Thanks for all your opinions. I found out this morning one of the mothers
set this up during a two day period she knew the teacher would not be there.
I did say in my first post that I do not mind at all to donate, this teacher
has been wonderful for my son this year (we finally identified that he has a
learning disability but very intelligent and since we've put in the plan he
has changed very much for the better academically and socially.) We normally
send in a card or something every year for each teacher.

However from what I remember of the wedding gift episode a few years ago was
handled very poorly. I don't think the students should be involved that
personally in the teacher's life.

Surely that depends on the teacher and the students.

In elementary school, the teachers spend more time with the students
then some parents do and in some cases with more interpersonal
interaction than with their parents. And some teachers are more
inclined to share personal information than others. A wedding is a
major life change and is bound to be of interest to the students.

grandma Rosalie

"Kevin Karplus" wrote in message
...
In article , Beeswing wrote:
My daughter has has the same (wonderful) teacher for three years
now,
but will now be moving on to a new teacher. Is it okay for either us
or
our daughter to give a bouquet of flowers to the teacher on the last
day
of school, or is that considered going overboard? Are flowers okay
as a
"small gift"?

Flowers from a child to a teacher are a perfectly appropriate small
gift.

If you have had a wonderful teacher for 3 years, a larger gift could
be given without guilt.

Thanks, Kevin. I've actually never gotten a teacher a year-end gift
before, and I'd love some good suggestions. This teacher is really
special.

beeswing

In article , Beeswing wrote:
"Kevin Karplus" wrote in message
Flowers from a child to a teacher are a perfectly appropriate small
gift.

If you have had a wonderful teacher for 3 years, a larger gift could
be given without guilt.

Thanks, Kevin. I've actually never gotten a teacher a year-end gift
before, and I'd love some good suggestions. This teacher is really
special.

You should pick something appropriate for the teacher and the child.
You know them both---I don't. You also should pick your budget.

For some teachers, a piece of classroom equipment or a book
appropriate for the class is a good present. Others might like a
hand-made art object from the child (use caution with this one!).
Still others would prefer a gift certificate for a dinner or a hot
tub. If your child has a particular activity they love to do with the
teacher (art, reading, drama, ...), then something related to that
activity would be more meaningful to both the child and the teacher.

I made a deal with my son that if he finished his homework today (a
many-hour struggle to get him to do 20 minutes of writing), we would
go to the store "Science, Art, and More" tomorrow to pick out a
present for his teacher and a reward for himself. I don't have a
fixed budget, but I'm probably looking in the $5-$20 range, since my
son has only had this teacher for 2 months, but the teacher has had to
put up with more than a fair share of refusal to write.

--
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Affiliations for identification only.

"Kevin Karplus" wrote in message
...

You should pick something appropriate for the teacher and the child.
You know them both---I don't. You also should pick your budget.

For some teachers, a piece of classroom equipment or a book
appropriate for the class is a good present. Others might like a
hand-made art object from the child (use caution with this one!).
Still others would prefer a gift certificate for a dinner or a hot
tub. If your child has a particular activity they love to do with the
teacher (art, reading, drama, ...), then something related to that
activity would be more meaningful to both the child and the teacher.

I made a deal with my son that if he finished his homework today (a
many-hour struggle to get him to do 20 minutes of writing), we would
go to the store "Science, Art, and More" tomorrow to pick out a
present for his teacher and a reward for himself. I don't have a
fixed budget, but I'm probably looking in the $5-$20 range, since my
son has only had this teacher for 2 months, but the teacher has had to
put up with more than a fair share of refusal to write.


Would a gift certificate for a bookstore be appropriate (my daughter and
her teacher share a love of reading), or would it not be a good idea
since it conveys a specific monetary value? (Fifteen to twenty dollars
seems reasonable to me, for example, but my daughter's school is in a
low-income area and that amount would be beyond the reach of many of the
students.) I wouldn't know a specific book to buy the teacher,
otherwise. Even if I did go that route, I'd want to present her with
some flowers, as well.

Should I call the school and see what their policy is?

Thanks.

beeswing

In article , Beeswing wrote:
Would a gift certificate for a bookstore be appropriate (my daughter and
her teacher share a love of reading), or would it not be a good idea
since it conveys a specific monetary value? (Fifteen to twenty dollars
seems reasonable to me, for example, but my daughter's school is in a
low-income area and that amount would be beyond the reach of many of the
students.) I wouldn't know a specific book to buy the teacher,
otherwise. Even if I did go that route, I'd want to present her with
some flowers, as well.

A gift certificate to a bookstore is an excellent idea---the teacher
can choose to spend it either on reading for himself (or herself) or
on books for the classroom. Put the certificate in a sealed envelope,
so the teacher doesn't have to look at it in school where another
parent or child might see it---the dollar amount is a private matter.

Should I call the school and see what their policy is?

No, this is a private transaction between you and the teacher, not
an official school function. Unless they have given you official
notice about a school policy on gifts to teachers, leave them out of it.



--
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Affiliations for identification only.

Kevin Karplus wrote:

In article , Beeswing wrote:
Would a gift certificate for a bookstore be appropriate (my daughter and
her teacher share a love of reading), or would it not be a good idea
since it conveys a specific monetary value? (Fifteen to twenty dollars
seems reasonable to me, for example, but my daughter's school is in a
low-income area and that amount would be beyond the reach of many of the
students.) I wouldn't know a specific book to buy the teacher,
otherwise. Even if I did go that route, I'd want to present her with
some flowers, as well.

A gift certificate to a bookstore is an excellent idea---the teacher
can choose to spend it either on reading for himself (or herself) or
on books for the classroom. Put the certificate in a sealed envelope,
so the teacher doesn't have to look at it in school where another
parent or child might see it---the dollar amount is a private matter.

Should I call the school and see what their policy is?

No, this is a private transaction between you and the teacher, not
an official school function. Unless they have given you official
notice about a school policy on gifts to teachers, leave them out of it.

Thanks for the advice! I appreciate it and will be putting it to good use.

beeswing