"New Yorker's Diary" - interesting

"Elfanie" wrote in message
...
here is an interesting editorial/article on breastfeeding...

http://www.nyobserver.com/love_newyorkersdiary.asp

obviously not something *I* agree with...and she sure doesn't seem to
happy about becoming a mother - any of it...

makes me wonder why she's doing it..


A slightly alternative point of view: While this woman is obviously truly a
new yorker relishing in the selfishness allowed in that city and the
self-indulgence permitted during pregnancy, I also had some of the same
misgivings during my pregnancy. I thought I would truly resent the many
things that I would have to give up to be a mother. Perhaps its my age, and
my lack of "ties" until now (I was 37 when i gave birth, and have always
been very interested in being FREE) but i didnt' have those mushy "I want a
baby" thoughts that most women seem to have, and the idea of having a baby
seemed a little like a life sentence at times- especially at times during
the long, difficult pregnancy where my body belonged to everyone but me.
That being said I KNEW in my heart that I would love my child and that it
would all work out in the end, but that I would want to go out on a date
with my husband every friday night, and made him promise that this would
happen. People told me I would change my mind, but I poo-pooh'ed them. I
knew myself, I said, and I would want time away from the kid. In fact, if
you search our archives, I once related that I would rather lose my
pregnancy than my dog at some point and people were truly horrified and told
me what a horrible mother I would be, seeing as I was so cold to my
pregnancy. What they didn't see was how warm I am to my dogs, however, and
that dogs and babies really aren't all that different. And maybe I didn't
see that either.

We haven't been out on that date yet, and the Monk turned six months old
this weekend (well, once my parents threw us out of the house so they could
have the kid to themselves, but thats it). I have absolutely NO resentment
about the things i have left behind. I was looking at him the other day and
thinking "and My GOD, to imagine I didn't even really WANT you"? How could
I not have wanted my most precious little guy? I don't understand it now,
except that I didn't know the great reward of being a mother, and how much
it would change my life, forever.

Although, while I was NOT excited about it at all, I knew it was my DUTY as
a mother to breastfeed my infant. My mother, who formula fed us at her
pediatricians advice had always drilled into me that if she had "only known"
that she would have done better by us and breast fed us. She was with me
those first few days trying to work out the nursing thing and we both
wondered how in the hell people could say that BF was easier than FF. But
after struggling through all that, not only is it easier, I know that I am
doing the BEST for my guy that I can. Its how I ended up here- I had
trouble at first and needed help. And while I am very different than many of
you, who are what I call "mothers from birth" - women who knew that they
wanted to be mothers from very early on and who are naturally mothering, I
know that I am a good mother.

There is hope for that New Yorker yet.